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Helheim Is Nice This Time Of Year by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel
Thor (2011), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012), Avengers movie - fandom
11 Aug 2012
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Summary
Everything was fine until the day it all went straight to hell. Naturally, it was all Loki's fault.
In which Darcy is actually Hel, and having a damn conscience is bad for her self-preservation instincts.
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hahahah YES
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Adorable and silly in the best of ways. :)
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Bookmark Notes:
“Uh-huh. Like, duh,” Hel pointed out. “Why do you think I’m here? I couldn’t let you stay dead after saving the world and getting stabbed by my father. That would have been uncool. Besides, your replacement probably wouldn’t have let me claim doughnuts as expenses.”
“Father,” Coulson repeated, ignoring the rest of Hel’s ramble.
“Black hair, got a screw loose, tends to dress in green and gold. Kind of a dick,” Hel described helpfully, like she thought he might have forgotten, instead of answering the question he was really asking.
“I remember him just fine,” Phil responded carefully. “He’s your father?”
“Unfortunately,” Hel agreed. “He ranks pretty high on the Deadbeat Dad Scale. Although honestly practically most of my family could do with some therapy. They could run how-to sessions on child abuse up there.” Hel’s lips thinned at the bitter memories. “The last time I saw my brothers one had a sword stuck in him, thank you Thor for being a loving and supportive uncle, another was being used as our grandfather’s personal steed, and the third… let’s not go there. I got let off easy, and it still took me, like, two centuries to escape this place.”
Hel wrapped a hand around Coulson’s arm and tugged.
“Now come on, I want to get you back before they hold your funeral, because digging you up would be really awkward and difficult to explain to the cops. And SHIELD.”