It’s your first time back in Amestris in literally years. As you step off the train, you inhale deeply. Risembool, as always, smells like lanolin and sheep shit. For some stupid reason, your vision blurs. You shake it off to get out of the way of the rest of the passengers – all two of them - disembarking the passenger cars. You walk to the edge of the platform to take a look around. “I’m back,” you say, almost under your breath as you pass the stationmaster, who nods, not realizing, maybe, who you are. Who you were, once upon a time.
But you haven’t been that boy in ages, and your skin prickles at standing on the platform, wondering if anyone would even care you are here. You stare at the grass, at the cloudlike images of sheep, at the dirt road leading out of the still-small town. Before you realize it, your feet are on that road, and you’re walking to the east.
The house appears before you, rising on a hill away from the road. You hesitate outside the gateway, staring at the balcony, wondering if she still sleeps in that room, or whether she sold the house. A part of you wants to go up, knock on that door, but you’re afraid to find out that someone else now lives there. And if she did answer the door, what would you say? ‘I’m sorry’? Even you know that isn’t enough.
If you close your eyes, you can imagine Den’s bark, and Winry’s shout of, “You idiot, you never call!” Your body tenses in anticipation of a wrench flying at your head, but there is nothing, no barking dog, no yelling. No wrench.
You wonder if this is what being a ghost might feel like – lost in regrets.