Actions

Work Header

Don't Let Kowalski Interview the Perp

Chapter Text

Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 1

Chapter Text

 

Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 2. Kowalski, looking innocent says, 'Wow, Kowalski, you are the best at getting confessions. Here, have a medal. You are AWESOME.

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 3. Kowalski in the background shadow-boxing in front of a cell door as Vecchio says: Hey! Me and Benny gotta go and pick up suspect #2. Tough guy here's on a hair trigger today and, you know, we all just wanna keep our jobs. So do me a favor and watch things for me until I get back? Thanks. Oh, and remember: Don't let Kowalski interview the perp!

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 4. Kowalski, left alone, looks around. No one in sight.

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 5. Kowalski waves and says: Hey! Can I interview the perp?

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 6. Kowalski tucks one leg behind the other and holds out his hands. He says: I promise I won't kick him in the head.

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 7. Kowalski clasps his hands in front of him and looks down, peeping up at us. He says: Just five minutes. It's not like he's going to be un-Miranda'd in five minutes, right?

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 8. Kowalski sits on the ground, legs splayed and arms folded, looking pissed off. He says: No fair, buttplate.

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 9. Kowalski appears dressed in Mountie costume, arms spread. He says: Can I interview the perp - I mean the suspect - now, eh?

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 10. Kowalski winds his legs together and presses his hands together pleadingly. He says: Pleeeease?

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 11. Kowalski stands, hands on hips, eyes narrowed, a black squiggle coming out of his head.

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 12. Kowalski slumps, head down. He says: I never get to do *anything*

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 13. Kowalski shakes his hands in the air. He says: Hey, I only hospitalised *three* bad guys. It's not like I have a *fetish*

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 14. Kowalski puts a finger to his forehead, pointing backwards with the two middle fingers of his other hand. He says: Oh! Here's an idea! Let's play 'interview the perp'! I'll go first.

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 15. Kowalski has one hand on his hip, the other pointing off page. He says: I bet Fraser would let me.

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 16. Kowalski holds a cigar in one hand and cups the other around his mouth. He says: I'll give you Huey's Cubans.

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 17. Kowalski has his back to us, stomping off, waving his arms in the air. He says: He's just a freakin' perp!

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 18. Kowalski stands very straight, fists clenched at his side. He says: FINE! Freak.

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 19. Kowalski goes nuts! He is flailing in the air, he is pulling out his hair, he is clenching everything that can be clenched with crazy eyes and he is yelling LET ME INTERVIEW THE PERP!!@!

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 20. Kowalski shoves his hands in his pockets and toes the dirt, a big black cloud over his head. He's getting exactly nowhere.

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 21. Vecchio returns. He says: We're back. You didn't let Kowalski interview the perp, did you? Kowalski peeps in from off page, shaking his head. Vecchio says: Thank f- I mean, thanks, guys!

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 22. Vecchio goes through the cell door in the background and Kowalski sits cross-legged on the ground, head in hands, looking very sorry for himself.

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 23. Fraser brings in a very tall person with stubble and long hair, dressed prettily in pink. Kowalski looks up all hopeful. He says: Hey...

Chapter Text


Don't Let Kowalski Interview The Perp! - A due South children's book. Page 24. Kowalski stands with his hands pressed together, eyes closed, deep in thought. He says: Wow, Kowalski. We never would have got a confession from the 'lady' perp if it wasn't for you. Here, have a medal. You are AWESOME

THE END