1. Tuck Jane into her sleeping bag and rummage through the abandoned farmhouse you're crashing in for the night. Completely fail to discover conveniently-placed robotic components, a handy dandy rocket launcher, or any sort of private jet. Figures.
2. Instead, discover a bag of flour.
3. Wait, is it flour?
4. How the hell are you supposed to tell the difference between a sack of flour and a sack of any other white powder?
5. Ruminate briefly on the downsides of being raised entirely on orange soda and microwaveable meals. Then knock that shit off, because orange soda was awesome.
6. What can you do with a sack of flour?
7. Cook it, you assume. Cakes and shit?
8a. Jane would know.
8b. Jane is worn out.
9. Decide to be a bad enough dude to rescue the President, or, at the very least, to make Jane a surprise cake.
10. Continue rummaging through cellar, discover a) a sack of something that has to be sugar; b) a tin of baking powder, whatever that is; and c) a tin of something that claims to be evaporated milk, the concept of which is baffling to you and raises questions about how they got it out of the cows.
11. Head outside and become the first person in history to actively want to find pigeons.
12. Consider Jane's weird aversion to eating pigeons and pigeon-related byproducts.
13. Fail to understand this, as pigeons are preferable to seagulls in nearly every conceivable way.
14. Retrieve eggs, leaving avian heartbreak in your wake.
15. Find a pan in what's left of the farmhouse's kitchen, blow dust out of it, carry to the fireplace.
16. Combine ingredients gloriously, await cake.
17. Okay woah that is not glorious at all.
18. What the fuck.
19. Should it look like that.
20. Nothing should look like that.
21. You are currently traversing a post-apocalyptic planet, and you're pretty sure the contents of your pan still manages to be the worst thing you've ever seen
1. You love the smell of burnt crud in the morning.
2. No, wait. The opposite of that!!
3. Wake from a world of terrible dreams into a world of equally terrible cooking.
4. Interrogate the serious-looking Strider as to why he's sitting by the fireplace and peering forlornly into... a frying pan? What's even with that?
7. Stop being such a giddy goat and go to to the rescue.
8. Use a lifetime's experience to eyeball measure out one cup of flour, two-thirds of a cup of sugar, half a cup of evaporated milk, and two teaspoons of baking powder.
9. Send your trusty assistant to collect more eggs. Eggs... that are... definitely from chickens. Incredibly small chickens!
10. Switch to forkkind and beat the incredibly small chicken yolks together, gradually adding the sugar and evaporated milk.
11. Field an extremely confusing question about cows.
12. Start to beat the incredibly small chicken whites together. Loudly curse your lack of electric beaters.
13. Pass the bowl to Dirk on instructions to beat the mix until it looks like his hair. Stiff white peaks, dear! :B
14. Combine flour and baking powder, then add the egg mixes and gently fold together with spoonkind.
15. Yes, it's called gently folding.
16. Because it's different to stirring.
17. Well, you have a try.
18. There you go! Look at you, folding gently! You are folding that mix together so goshdarned gently, it simply does not know what to do with itself!
19. Okay, that's enough folding.
20. Find a slightly more appropriate pan to put the mix in to, and manage to place it above the fireplace in a likely looking spot.
21. Go wandering around the farmhouse with Dirk on the suspicion that every farm must have a lemon tree.
22. Watch the sunset for a while. Still remain unsettled by the new colours. Hold Dirk's hand under the grounds that if a girl can't hold the hand of a ninja boy from the future in the face of the apocalypse, then when can she?
23. Return to makeshift kitchen with an armful of lemons.
24. Inform Dirk about how glad you are to find lemons, as the danger of scurvy that you both face is terrible! Make him take a nice big bite of one.
25. Enjoy the show. Hoo hoo hoo!
26. Mix some sugar and lemon juice into what's left of the evaporated milk. Warm the tin over the fire.
27. Spoon the lemony icing over the cake.
28. Shut the tattered curtains on the ruined sunset outside the window and get comfortable around the fireplace.
29. Thank Dirk for your cake.