-- ghostyTrickster [GT] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
TT: I believe that the dictates of social protocol now demand that I respond in kind.
TT: Probably with something painfully inane befitting the social expectations associated with the arbitrarily significant numeral that is my age.
TT: "Hey", I suppose.
TT: Or "hi!!!!"
GT: haha, wow.
GT: that's ok, you don't have to say hi back!
TT: Your generosity of spirit overwhelms me.
TT: Does it stretch to telling me who you are?
GT: i'm a friend of jade's!
GT: or gg, i guess?
GT: but she told me her name right off so i bet she told you too.
GT: i'm john btw.
TT: I'm beginning to suspect she has a hitherto-unrevealed vindictive streak.
GT: no way!
GT: jade is totally nice.
TT: She has that veneer, certainly.
TT: She wears niceness like a smooth coat, polished to a low lustrous shine through painstaking secret care.
TT: But I can't imagine what nice reason she could have for sending you to talk to me.
GT: i guess she thought maybe we could be friends?
TT: That's what I mean.
TT: I am not a good friend.
GT: i bet that's not true.
TT: That would be a singularly ill-conceived bet.
TT: If you took it, you would find yourself destitute, bereft of all but the stuttering, piteously youthful appeal of your voice as you begged for alms in the street.
TT: That and the void-like despair eating away at your insides once the last tattered shreds of your sunny good nature and hopeful disposition had fallen away.
GT: wow, it seems like you are being really hard on yourself.
TT: I'm only being realistic.
TT: Please take this warning in the spirit in which it is intended.
TT: I have only your best interests at heart.
TT: I don't have the tools for friendship, you see.
TT: My nature was formed without them, and I have never troubled to correct that oversight in my making.
TT: I lack the capacity to derive innocent pleasure from the company of others.
TT: The inclination to enter into the interests of my peers, vapid and mind-numbing as those interests invariably are.
TT: The ability to sympathize with another's woes, without tearing hound-like into the tender underbelly of the suppressed yearnings, complexes and unhealthy fixations that have produced or contributed to them.
TT: In place of these things I am possessed of an advanced understanding that paradoxically exiles me from the arena of understanding with my peers.
TT: And a curiosity to uncover the deepest and most horrifyingly convoluted secrets in the psyches of those who cross my path.
TT: If we became friends, I would apply the scalpal of psychoanalysis to all of the softest parts of your soul.
TT: I would forge a way into the darkest paths and deepest forgotten spaces of your subconscious.
TT: I would go spelunking in the lost recesses of your poor, shrinking mind, and I would drag out what was most pitiful, most mutated, all of the things that it made you cry out in wordless horror to see.
TT: And I would expose them to the pitiless sunlight until they crisped and burned.
GT: um, wow.
TT: Do I make you uncomfortable, John?
GT: you're deliberately trying to sound like that character in movies who leans too close and is soft spoken and creepy, aren't you?
GT: hehe, i knew it.
GT: it's ok, you can psychoanalyze me if you want!
GT: i give you permission to delve into my psyche.
GT: but if you see any clowns down there, it's just because my house is full of them.
GT: my dad has this weird obsession with clowns, haha.
TT: You know.
TT: Now that I look closely, I believe that you're right:
TT: Your subconscious is a coruscating rainbow vortex of clowns.
GT: be careful!
GT: don't make any sudden movements in front of them.
TT: It's alright, they appear to be largely friendly.
TT: I believe one of them may have just waved at me.
GT: oh man, no, that's when you want to look out the most.
GT: it's just as well you have me as a guide to the egbert subconscious.
TT: I will proceed with the utmost caution.
TT: Clearly these are devious jokers after all, made feral and unpredictable by their long years in the abyssal darkness of your supressed fears and desires.
GT: they are totally vicious jesters.
TT: Conniving motley-wearers, in fact.
GT: deceitful japesters.
TT: Rabid soldiers of mirth.
GT: crafty ... uh, comedic figures.
GT: i am just joking btw!
GT: there aren't really clowns in my subconscious.
TT: If we could say what lay there, would we call it subconscious?
TT: By the way.
TT: If it's of interest.
TT: I'm Rose.
GT: hi rose!
GT: it's nice to meet you.