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Renversement du Temps

Chapter Text

Your name is Dave Strider and fuck that is bright.

You’ve just cracked your eyes open to find the brightest fucking light you’ve ever seen staring you in the face. Your mind becomes dizzy for a split second as you try to make heads or tails of where you are. Finally you come back to your senses and things seem to fall into place.

Your entire body feels numb. You attempt to bring your hands up to your face but promptly find them to be paralyzed. Not permanently, you hope. You succeed in nudging your chin down to get a look at the rest of your body.

You discover that you’re lying in a hospital bed. This should surprise you, but at the moment you don’t pay it much mind. You also find that the majority of your body is covered in cuts and bruises. You quickly make it your top priority to try to recall the events of the past few hours to help shed some light on this peculiar situation.

It makes your head pound trying to remember your own name lest a series of events that seem foggy to you at best. But you dig deep within the recesses of your mind to try and remember. And remember you do. It all comes back to you in one blow.

Your friend John Egbert had come to visit you and keep you company while your brother left on vacation. He didn’t clarify exactly when he’d be back so you thought it was only natural to have your best bro keep you company. You paid for his plane ticket down to Texas and picked him up at the airport.

The kid was excited to see you again, to say the least.

The last time you two had met in person was back on John’s thirteenth birthday. Some shit happened that day and you’d rather not think about that.

You had just recently turned seventeen and thought that a week or so with your best friend sounded like it could be one hell of a good time.

The first few days passed without a hitch; rather boring, in your opinion, but as long as John was there you knew it was worth the long marathons of shitty movies and constant arguments about Matthew Mcconaughey’s poor acting skills. Thursday came and John suddenly wanted to go sightseeing. You knew there was nothing of interest to see in Houston but you ended up humoring him anyway. Bro had gone with a friend, leaving you to look after his newly bought car.

It was a pretty sweet ride, you had to admit. You didn’t question how your brother could afford it, given his shit salary, but you’ve learned over the years to always just go with it.

John had recently gotten his drivers license and had practically begged you to let him drive it. After a lot of reluctance and more petty arguments, you finally relented and handed him the key. Of course driving around downtown was not enough for John.

He claimed he wanted to see the cityscape from the outskirts of town. When you questioned him as to why he would want to do a stupid ass thing like that he just giggled. You relented again and helped him find his way to the interstate.

While changing lanes on the highway you decided to mess with him, just because that’s what friends do, right? You kind of shoved him and grabbed the steering wheel, just to throw him off a bit. He mostly just laughed and pushed you back.

But then you shoved him a bit too hard, making him lose his grip on the steering wheel.

You didn’t know the semi was in his blind spot.

Then silence. Darkness.

You woke up here.

Your train of thought is interrupted by the opening of the door to your room. You will your eyes to focus on the intruders. The first person looks like a doctor. The person behind him seems familiar. Is that your brother? Shit.

"Good, you’re awake.” You hear the doctor say. You shut your eyes again so you don’t have to look your brother in the face. You completely destroyed his car, probably. And John. Wait a second. “John,” you try to say. Your vocal chords fight against you and it comes out as more of a raspy moan.

You suddenly feel a hand on your head, petting it gingerly. You assume it’s your brother until a pair of familiar gloved hands takes up your left hand and begins to stroke your knuckles softly.

You crack your eyes open again to see the doctor hovering over you. You catch a glimpse of the writing on his lab coat, informing you that his name is Teran Naccarato. You look up directly into Dr. Naccarato’s eyes and wheeze again, “John.”

You feel your brother’s hands give yours a squeeze before going limp. Teran takes his hand away from your head and mumbles, “I’m sorry, Dave.”

Chapter Text

one week earlier

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: dave!
TG: what
TG: what could it possibly be that you would feel the need to bug me this early in the morning

EB: you are the one that’s online this early! i just took advantage of it hehe
EB: anyways i found out that your brother is leaving!

TG: yeah
TG: wait how the hell did you find out about that

EB: rose told me about it!
TG: of course i should have known
TG: why did i tell her about it again

EB: i don’t know!
EB: anyways i bet you will be lonely without him around to always kick your ass!

TG: yeah how will i ever survive without constant puppet dong being shoved in my face for a week
TG: or however long hes leaving for he never tells me this shit

EB: yeah but it’s summer! you should be happy that you’ll be home alone for that long without supervision!
EB: my dad would never let me stay home alone for that long by myself

TG: jesus christ egbert youre seventeen years old
TG: dont you think youve outgrown the need for a babysitter

EB: my dad is just looking out for me!
TG: yeah sure
TG: whatever
TG: but would he let you go somewhere by yourself for a week

EB: well where would i be going?
TG: here
EB: houston?
TG: yeah
TG: figured you can keep me company so i dont end up burning the house down
TG: someone needs to keep an eye on me im hot and dangerous

EB: hehe
EB: but how would i get down there?
EB: i don’t have enough money for a plane ticket!

TG: well youre in luck because bro left me like a ton of cash
TG: i am literally up to my dick in this green sea of fuck you im rich

EB: wow!
TG: yeah so you coming or what
EB: oh man i will have to ask my dad!
EB: i will get back to you later to let you know

TG: okay im not going anywhere
EB: okay!
EB: talk to you in a bit!

TG: okay
TG: later

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

Your name is Dave Strider and you cannot believe you just did that. You must have sounded pathetic. You’re seventeen years old, you don’t need fucking company. You’ve got your shit under control. However, you have wanted to see your best bro for quite some time now.

After all the shenanigans that transpired a couple of years ago you’ve grown pretty distant from your friends. You still talk to Rose and Jade on occasion, but nowadays you mainly talk to John. They’ve all seemed to have put the memories of what happened out of their minds. Maybe they even forgot parts of what went down. But you remember everything.

Again you’d rather not think about it. Some painful stuff happened during that time and you’d feel better just forgetting that the whole thing took place. Of course that’s impossible, but you try every day to push more and more of it out of your mind.

You shrug and get up from your laptop. You assume John will be a while in getting his dad to agree to such an outlandish proposition. Your brother left yesterday and already the house seems desolate. This is nothing new to you. You’ve practically lived by yourself ever since you were little. He’s always out doing who knows what with who knows who. You two have sort of reached an unspoken agreement of never talking about each other’s actions when you’re not together.

You pass out on the couch for two hours and are awoken by the sound of an instant message being received on your pesterchum account. You assumed that it was John, so you are surprised to find that this douche bag still wants to talk to you. It’s been years since you’ve last heard from him, but you decide to humor him while John’s still away.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: what do you want

TG: i never said we were friends

TG: ok
TG: whatever


TG: really i couldnt guess
TG: woah dude who are you calling pudgy
TG: I am so ripped girls are just falling in line to get some of my long and lean man meat
TG: and i thought you couldnt see us anymore what the hell


TG: what egbert actually macking on some chick
TG: because if you really did see that then im afraid the world will be ending soon
TG: forget fuckin 2012 this shits the real deal


TG: dude no
TG: dave strider doesnt grieve over anything

TG: wait what
TG: does something happen to egbert

TG: wait hold up hes finally messaging me back
TG: bye

-- turntechGodhead [TG] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: dave guess what!
TG: what
EB: i can go to texas!
TG: awesome
EB: i know right! we’re going to have the best time together!
TG: yeah
TG: okay ill book your flight now

EB: oh my god i can’t wait!
TG: yeah i know you cant wait to see me again
TG: i cant blame you
TG: everyone wants a little strider in their lives

EB: you are so full of yourself!
EB: but that’s what makes you cool!

TG: okay youre booked
TG: ill send you the flight information through your email

EB: okay!
EB: ...
EB: wow this was expensive! how did your brother get all this money anyway?

TG: shenanigans
EB: oh
TG: yeah
EB: well however he got it doesn’t matter because i’m going to texas!
TG: yeah we heard you the first time
EB: i gotta get packing!
EB: see you in a couple days!

TG: alright

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

As much as you hated to admit, even to yourself, you were looking forward to this as much as he was. You hadn’t seen him in four or five years. You both were past due for a little bro time.

You were going to mention Karkat’s warning to him, but that would have just freaked him out. Now that you have time to reflect on it you start to become a little worried yourself. The timeline viewports that the trolls have don’t lie. And it didn’t seem like whatever it was Karkat was seeing was changing its course anytime soon. Maybe you should have let him tell you about it.

You shrug it off as nothing too important and flop yourself back on the couch again. If it really was that important then Karkat would get back to you sooner or later. You close your eyes and again are met with the comfort of sleep.

Chapter Text

Your name is John Egbert and boy does Houston sure have a big airport!

You exit the terminal and are immediately struck at the general vastness of the place. You look out the large windows adjacent to your terminal and see more planes driving on the runway.

You get so involved watching two planes take off, one right after the other, that you don’t notice when someone sneaks up behind you and snatches your glasses right off your head.

You panic for a split second before you turn around and recognize a familiar, albeit blurry, head of golden hair. “Dave! Give me my glasses back!” You whine. Your voice cracks a bit but you don’t even notice.

You’re too busy trying to wrestle your glasses out of Dave’s grip before he finally bops you on the forehead, causing you to lose your balance and almost fall backwards on your tail end. Luckily Dave locks his arms around your waist before you do and hoists you back up.

Dave had always been slightly taller than you, much to your chagrin. The moment you look up he slides your glasses back onto your face.

Of course he does it at an awkward angle so it takes you a moment to adjust them before you finally get a good look at him.

He looks like he hasn’t aged a day since your adventures together nearly five years ago. You smile and throw your arms around his neck, not caring how many stares you get from the people around you.

You’re surprised when Dave doesn’t push you away immediately. Instead he shifts around so he can ruffle your hair playfully and pat your back.

You can’t help but let out a laugh and finally push him away yourself. His patented cool guy poker face is in place as you feel his gaze travel up and down your body.

You shiver and quickly grab your carry-on bag, “Well there’s no point in standing around here all day! Let’s go to your house!” You run on ahead, not sure of where you’re going exactly.

But at least you’re here with Dave.

Together again.

Chapter Text

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GC: D4V3
GC: 1 C4N S33 YOU R3M3MB3R?
GC: D4V3 PL34S3 T4LK TO M3

TG: i dont want to talk about it
TG: theres nothing to talk about
TG: end of conversation
TG: bye

GC: W41T!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] blocked gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --


TG: no

-- turntechGodhead [TG] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GA: Would You Like To Talk About It
TG: jesus christ would you trolls get off my dick about it
TG: i dont want to talk about it
TG: end of story
TG: relay that message to the rest of your asshole friends

-- turntechGodhead [TG] blocked grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

You finally wise up and get off the computer. You’re not even sure why you got online in the first place. You knew all the trolls would know what had happened. You chalk it up to a lapse of better judgment.

It’s been a week since the funeral and it still haunts your every waking minute. Sleep provides no means of escape, either; the nightmares are even more real. Everything in your life has come crashing down around you.

And it sucks. It really fucking sucks.

It should have been you driving that day. Or rather, you should have been the one to die. Not John. He didn’t deserve this. You can’t begin to imagine the pain he went through. The moment the truck sliced clean through the left side of the car, what was going through his mind? Was it immediate or did he suffer? So many questions that you’re sure you’ll spend the rest of your life pondering.

You’re so wrapped up in your own thoughts that you don’t even notice when your brother enters your room. He sits down on the edge of your bed and remains still for a minute. You shift slightly and he reaches his hand out to rub your legs, “Hey, how’re you holding up?” You glance at him through your dark lenses, “Shit.” Is all you say.

You hear your brother sigh and feel him slide up the bed to lie next to you. You shuffle away from him, not wanting to look at his face and remember that you not only hurt your best friend, but your brother as well.

It’s silent for a long moment before you hear the familiar jingle of a single key on a key ring. You peek around over your shoulder to see your brother holding up the key to his now totaled car. You blink and sit up to get a better look at it. “Where did you get this?” You ask him. You were sure it was long gone with the rest of the car. You see your brother smirk out of the corner of your eye, “I have my ways, little bro.” You scoff and shove the key back at him.

“What good will it even do you anymore? Why keep it and remember what I did to your precious car?” You turn back around and curl your knees up to your chin. You probably look pathetic but you honestly can’t bring yourself to care at the moment. “That’s not everything I’ve got.” You hear your brother say quietly.

You flip over and stare up into his eyes, which surprisingly aren’t hiding behind his signature pointy shades. “What else could you have recovered from that burning heap of trash?” You inquire, almost bitterly.

You aren’t quite conscious of where you see him pull them out from, but all that matters is that they’re here now. You stare at the broken pair of glasses carefully. You run your hands over the thick square frames, careful not to prick your fingers on the broken glass still sticking out from the remains of the lenses.

You can’t stare at them for too long; you start to see the bright blue eyes that were once behind the broken glass. You push them away in disgust and turn back towards the wall. “Why the hell did you get those?” You mumble.

Your brother doesn’t answer immediately. It takes him a good long moment to get up off the bed and start towards the door. On his way out he leaves the glasses on your bedside table and ruffles your hair. “I got them for you, bro.” He whispers. He leaves without another word.

You try to look anywhere but at the one piece of your best friend still left tangible in the world. Your eyes betray you, however, and they travel back to the mangled piece of eyewear.

You reach out and grip the pair of glasses gently. You bring them slowly to yourself and clutch them to your chest. Your body becomes racked with sobs wanting so badly to be let out. But you won’t let them free.

You could never let them free

Chapter Text

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: dave!
TG: what
EB: i am messaging you from the other room!
EB: hehe

TG: yeah thats great what do you want
EB: i want you to come out to the living room because i have something cool to show you!
TG: okay hold on im almost finished
EB: finished with what?
TG: youll see
EB: ok dave!

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: you still there
TT: Yes.
TG: ok good
TG: now then
TG: do you have any advice on how i should handle this situation

TT: I don’t see any problem with this so-called “situation” of yours.
TT: Don’t you like spending time with John?

TG: yeah thats not the situation im talking about though
TT: Oh?
TG: yeah
TG: ive already told you about it so im not telling you again

TT: I know what you’re talking about. I’ve known for quite some time, actually.
TG: ok yeah sure whatever
TT: Are you accusing me of falsely analyzing your repressed and somewhat awkward relationship with John?
TG: thats not what i said
TG: stop putting words in my mouth
TG: although thats what youre good at

TT: It does seem to be a honed skill of mine.
TG: yeah ok well hurry up hes getting antsy
TT: Okay I will give you my final word and that will be all I have to say on the matter, correct?
TG: ok
TT: Just be yourself. Don’t try too hard to show him some of that patented Strider charm. He most likely doesn’t care and will be oblivious to your advances. Just act natural and things will be fine.
TG: thats really all there is to say on the matter
TT: Yes.
TT: Now go get him, tiger.

TG: whatever

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

You sign off and finally leave the confines of your room to see what John’s doing by himself in the living room.

The moment you step into the room your eyes are immediately assaulted with a small plastic rectangle showing off a goofy buck toothed smile.

You adjust your eyes to see John’s new drivers license clearly. John can barely contain his excitement, “I wanted to wait until the perfect moment to show you! I figured now was as good a time as any! Isn’t it great?”

You smirk, “Yeah sure, with a shit eating grin like that you’ll have the ladies falling all over themselves just to get some hot Egbert action.” John’s flushing face is a good sign that you’ve successfully embarrassed him.

You can’t contain a chuckle as you push the license out of your face and watch as John fumbles to put it back in his wallet. “That’s not the point, Dave!” It brings you great joy to see John’s flustered expression. It’s almost rather cute.

“Can we-” John starts. You glance at him, “Can we what?” You reply coolly. John isn’t looking at you; merely twiddling his thumbs. God, he’s so awkward. But that’s what makes him endearing, in your opinion.

“Can we drive around town?” John forces out before his voice cracks from anticipation.

You stare at him incredulously; that’s all he wanted to ask? “Sure.” You say simply. He whips his head up to look you in the eyes, “Really?” You look intently at him, trying hard not to smile and break your cool. His childish face hasn’t changed at all over the past few years; still a bit pudgy with those bright eyes. Always with those eyes. That’s how he gets anything he wants, you’re sure of it.

“Yeah, why not?” You say. “Can I drive your brother’s car?” John practically splutters out. You stare at him as if he had just grown another head. “Seriously?” You ask. John nods his head furiously and averts his gaze once again.

You can’t believe John would get this flustered over a simple car. Sure, it’s your brother’s pride and joy; he treats it more like family than he does with you. But you’re sure he wouldn’t mind if you guys took it out for a little spin.

“Alright.” You say as you grab Bro’s key off the holder above the kitchen counter. “You’re lucky he rode with a friend this time.”

You toss the key to John, who barely catches it with both hands. He looks at it as if you had just tossed him a million dollar bill. Once again, his childish demeanor brings out a smile from you.

“Let’s go, champ. We have other stuff to do today too, don’t forget.” You start to head for the door and are immediately assaulted from behind.

John wraps his arms around your neck like a king cobra, “Thank you, Dave!” You tug half-heartedly at his arms and laugh, “Yeah sure, whatever.”

He finally releases his grip around your neck and grabs your arm to tug you all the way down to the parking lot.

Chapter Text

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

GG: dave?
TG: …
GG: dave i know you are feeling bad.
GG: please talk to me about it.
GG: i’m here to help!

TG: why did it have to be him
TG: it should have been me driving
TG: its my fault
TG: i let him drive
TG: im the one who provoked him
TG: im the worst friend
TG: it is me

GG: now that is not true!
TG: it is true
TG: you dont understand jade
TG: im the one who pushed him when he was merging lanes
TG: he lost control of the steering wheel because of me
TG: and yet he was the one who paid for it
TG: look at me
TG: im fine
TG: it was my fault
TG: i should have been the one to pay with my life

GG: stop!!!!!!
GG: just stop dave.
GG: i really want to help you but the more you talk about it the more depressed i get!
GG: i think maybe you need to see a counselor.

TG: no fuck that
GG: but they could probably help you more than i could!
TG: who said i needed your help
GG: look at yourself.
GG: you are a wreck!
GG: maybe it could help you come to terms with his death.
GG: you know you are not the only one who was affected by this whole ordeal.
GG: how do you think i feel?

TG: …
GG: all i am saying is to just give it a chance.
GG: it might prove to be just what the doctor ordered! :D
GG: speaking of doctors how is that cute doctor of yours?
GG: has he been checking up on you?

TG: yeah he comes by every once in a while
TG: its kind of annoying actually

GG: hehe at least he cares about you!
GG: thats really what you need right now.
GG: you need to surround yourself with the people who love and support you!
GG: like me!

TG: whatever
GG: anyways i have to go.
GG: are you going to consider my suggestion?

TG: ill think about it
GG: you better!
GG: stay safe dave!

-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AG: You 8astard!!!!!!!!
TG: shit
AG: How could you let this h8ppen to John?
AG: It’s all your f8ult!!!!!!!!

TG: listen i really dont want to deal with you right now
AG: Well too 8ad!
TG: wait
TG: so youre saying its my fault

AG: Yes
AG: Who else’s fault would it 8e????????

TG: ok good
AG: Yes!
AG: W8.
AG: What?
AG: You’re agreeing that it was your fault?

TG: of course it was
TG: everything was my fault
TG: and i was powerless to stop it

AG: Well, I’m glad we’re on the same p8ge here.
TG: are you going to keep yelling at me
AG: Maaaaaaaaybe.
TG: thats fine
TG: i deserve it

AG: Man you are such a downer!
TG: yeah well i have it coming
TG: so go on
TG: let loose

AG: Now it won’t 8e any fun if you’re just going to sit there and take it without a fight.
AG: Ugh.

TG: ive been dealing with you fuckers all day and im starting to get pissed off
TG: so either reprimand me like the huge bitch you are or get out because ive got more important things to do

AG: God, I don’t know what John ever saw in you!
AG: You are so insuffera8le!!!!!!!!

TG: thank you
AG: Listen, all I’m saying is that John didn’t deserve to die.
AG: Especially not 8y your hands!
AG: 8ut I’m not too worried
AG: You’ll get yours in due time.

TG: really now
TG: you mean like karma

AG: You’ll see!!!!!!!!

-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: what the hell
TG: who is this

EB: come outside
TG: who the fuck are you
TG: why are you on johns handle

EB: just come outside
TG: no fuck you
EB: trust me dave

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

To say that you are hesitant would be a grand understatement. Who else could know how to access John’s chumhandle?

You stalk over to the window and peek out as far as the glass will let you. Of course you can’t see anything, dumbass.

You mentally slap yourself and simultaneously prepare yourself for a confrontation.

You’re not sure what to expect when you walk outside your apartment building, but it’s definitely not what you end up finding.

Standing directly in front of you is John’s dad, who must have accessed John’s chumhandle through his PDA.

Behind him stands Rose, her mom, Jade, and your brother. You pause and stare at your family and friends. John’s dad breaks away from the group and steps up to you.

You stare up into his eyes; those same deep blue ones that once haunted your dreams.

“You don’t deserve this.” He says. You blink at him, “What?” You say dumbfounded.

He sets a large hand on your shoulder, “We’re going to show you that your life isn’t over. It’s just begun.”

You don’t cry. Striders don’t cry. But you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t feel a twang of relief.

How did you get so lucky to have all these great friends? You don’t know how you ended up with them, but you’re glad that they’re in your life.

You guess that you can put John out of your mind, if only for today. Besides, he would’ve wanted you to move on.

You allow Mr. Egbert to steer you back towards your friends so that they can lead you away.

Your name is Dave Strider and things are finally starting to look up.

Chapter Text

Your name is John Egbert and you are pretty sure that you are dead.

You’re not quite sure where you are at the present moment; some kind of medium? Limbo, perhaps?

You’re not sure because you can’t will yourself to open your eyes. It’s silent wherever you are.

You can practically feel the darkness creeping into your veins, whether they are alive with blood or not. You try to walk, or to move any of your muscles really, and fail.

You feel as if you’ve been floating for a long time and, unfortunately, will continue to do so.

You try to remember what exactly happened to you. For all intents and purposes, you are going to assume that you are dead.

You rack your brain for any recount or memory of the last thing you did. Some things flash through your mind.

You see some familiar and some unfamiliar objects. You see the inside of an airport terminal, a busy downtown street, a single key on a key ring, a shiny new car; shards of broken glass, crushed metal frame, blood, the sound of someone screaming your name.


Chapter Text

Your name is Dave Strider and your life has never been better.

You are twenty three years old and you are living the good life in your high rise apartment in downtown Houston, Texas.

You had moved out of your brother’s apartment once you graduated high school and are attending the University of Houston. You had decided on a music major with a minor in mass communication. You’re not quite sure what you’re going to do with these degrees once you graduate this year, but you’ll cross that bridge once you get to it.

You are considered to be somewhat of a social butterfly and have a plethora of good friends. You always have something to do and somewhere to go on the weekends. However, you always manage to fit studying in your busy schedule.

You also tend to be somewhat of an overachiever. Your brother had come to your dorm room a lot during your freshman year. It got kind of annoying after a while and he eventually stopped coming.

You now live alone with your dog Luka. You had to fight your landlord to keep her because of her large breed but you finally won. You always win.

Your final semester is winding down and you are excited, to say the least, about finally graduating and getting out in the world to make a name for yourself. You’ve started applying for different internships to jumpstart your imminent career.

It’s Friday and you have just been released from your last class of the day. You head towards downtown to rendezvous with some of your friends.

You stand at a crosswalk waiting for the light to change when something catches your eye. You see a familiar tuft of black hair disappear into the crowd across the street. You pause and think about whom that could be. The moment the light changes you run across the street with reckless abandon.

You run into about fifty people whilst trying to reach the person with the black hair. The closer you get to the person, the more familiar they become. You finally realize who the hair belongs to when you run up right behind her.

After you catch your breath and have time to regain your composure, you tap on her shoulder lightly. The girl turns around and a look of surprise crosses her face.

“Dave?” She exclaims.

You smile and wave, “Hey Jade.”

You are caught off guard as the smaller girl embraces you suddenly. She tightens her grip around your waist and sighs into your neck, “I’ve missed you.”

You smile and return the gesture of affection, “Right back at you.”

The two of you stay that way for what seems like an eternity before you finally, albeit hesitantly, pull back. You look her up and down; she hasn’t changed a bit. Although looking at her brings back painful memories, you shake it off and push them to the back of your mind. You gesture for her to follow you down the street.

“So, why are you here?” You ask her as the two of you leisurely stroll through downtown Houston.

“Well actually,” She starts and then pauses. You eye her suspiciously, “Well actually what?” You inquire.

She begins to fidget with her skirt, “We came to see how you were holding up.” You stare at her for a moment before you understand what she’s talking about.

“Oh yeah, it’s been six years already?” You ask nonchalantly.

She doesn’t say anything as you direct her towards the café where you were supposed to meet up with your friends. You see them hanging out at your usual table in the back.

You escort Jade to the table of students currently preoccupied with drinking their cappuccinos and discussing last night’s football victory.

One of your friends, Jessica, notices you out of the corner of her eye. She waves at you and announces to the rest of the group, “Dave’s here.”

You wave back and allow Jade to slide into the booth awkwardly before you do the same.

Your friends stare at her pointedly before you make an introduction, “This is my old friend Jade. She’s visiting me, so I expect you guys to be on your best behavior.” You point directly at your friend Marshall, “Especially you.”

Marshall holds up his arms defensively, “Hey man, don’t worry! I won’t lay a finger on this pretty young thing.” He says smoothly as he sidles up next to Jade. The girl stiffens and quickly buries her head into your shoulders.

“Jade, there’s nothing to be scared of. He’s harmless, for the most part.” You say as you glare at your friend. Marshall simply laughs and takes another sip of his cappuccino. Your other friends, Makayla and Kyle, remain silent but seem to be amused by your and Marshall’s banter.

You suddenly feel Jade mumbling something into your shirt. You gently lift her head up and ask her to repeat what she said.

You notice that she's starting to tear up, “He reminds me of John.” She whispers.

You feel yourself go rigid as you glance back at Marshall. His childish face, his carefree personality, his square glasses; is that why you were so drawn to him?

“Who’s John?” Jessica inquires. She had always been a bit of an eavesdropper, much to your chagrin.

“He was my brother…” Jade mumbles under her breath.

Jessica’s eyebrows shoot up, “Was?”

You reach over and wipe away the tears that have started to roll down her cheeks, “He died six years ago in a traffic accident.” She squeaks out.

You can tell she’s about to break down completely. You decide to take over, “Six years ago, while we were still in high school, John came to visit me here in Houston. We decided to test drive my brother’s new car. I let John drive because he had just gotten his driver’s license and was stoked about it. I decided it would be fun to mess with him while we were driving on the interstate. It didn’t end well.”

You hear Makayla gasp, “Oh Dave, I’m so sorry! Were you two close?”

You hesitate before you answer, “You could say that.”

Marshall makes a loud gesture in your direction, “Wait, so I remind you of that John guy?”

You glare at him harshly, “His name is John, not ‘that John guy’.”

Marshall seems to sense that you are dead serious about this matter, so he immediately backs off.

Kyle reaches across the table and sets his hand on yours, “I truly am sorry, Dave.”

The intimate contact between your hands reminds you of the day you woke up in the hospital to the news of John’s death.

You pull away from Kyle quickly and clutch your hand to your chest protectively.

You suddenly feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. You sneak it out and check it; your pesterchum alerts you to one new message. You wonder who the hell is messaging you at a time like this. You see that it’s from Rose; why are you not surprised?

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: Hello Dave.
TG: what do you want
TT: I know that Jade is with you. Would you mind telling me where you two are?
TG: are you in houston too?
TT: But of course.
TG: of course
TT: Right, so where are you guys?
TG: wait how did you know jade was with me?
TT: She told me.
TG: when
TT: Just now.
TG: what i didnt see her with her phone
TG: youre probably just using your crazy psychic witch powers again

TT: Oh, that’s it! You’ve figured me out, Dave. Of course, now that you know the truth I must eliminate you.
TG: oh no
TG: im doomed
TG: no but seriously are you in houston
TG: like right now

TT: Yes I am.
TG: why
TT: For the same reason that Jade is here.
TG: and why is that she never really told me
TT: We’re here for you.
TG: why what did i do
TT: We know how you get around this time of the year.
TT: We figured that we would actually be there for you this year instead of letting you deal with it on your own.

TG: i dont know what youve been hearing but im just fine
TG: ive put it out of my mind and you two need to do the same

TT: Oh shut up.
TT: Just tell me where you two are and I’ll meet you there.

TG: fine
TG: were at the cafe over on 20th street

TT: Okay, I’ll be there soon.
TG: fine

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You don’t let the others know that you have another friend on the way. You sit in silence until Rose finally shows up ten minutes later.

You think it’s safe to say that Marshall had officially moved on from Jade the moment he saw Rose walk up to their table.

“Hello Dave, would you like to introduce me to your new friends?” Rose says coolly as she leans her hips against the small table.

You give her a look before turning to your friends once more, “Guys, this is another one of my old friends. Her name is Rose and she is a fucking witch.”

This earns you a swift punch to your arm from said witch. She turns to your friends and states bluntly, “We’re here to comfort our friend in his time of need.”

You swat your hand in Rose’s general direction, “I didn’t fucking ask you guys to come. I’ve dealt with it just fine over the years; I don’t need you to hold my hand all the time!”

You suddenly regret your little outburst. You look around the table to find all your friends staring at you worriedly.

You promptly realize that have to get out of there. You have to get away from their judgmental stares.

You bolt from the booth and run outside before anyone has the chance to stop you.

You run north, south, east, and west. You run everywhere and anywhere where there is ground beneath your feet. You’re not quite sure where you’re going until you get there.

You suddenly run into someone. The both of you tumble to the ground. You hold your head and look straight up into the sky.

You have no idea where the fuck you are.

A bedazzled hand stretches out in front of your face, “I’m sorry, dear. Here, let me help you up.” A shaky voice says.

The voice sounds like it could belong to your grandmother, if you had one. You accept the outstretched hand and allow the woman to help pull you to your feet.

It takes you a split second to regain your balance. When you do you get a good look at the woman you just sent to the ground along with you.

She looks to be no younger than 70, gray hair, and dressed like a fucking gypsy straight from the fairytales.

You blink a couple of times to make sure you’re not seeing things.

The woman laughs and says to you, “Oh, you gave me a good scare! Thank you for brightening my day, love. Here, let me repay you in kind.” It takes you a moment to process everything that has just happened.

You shake your head fiercely, “No, you don’t have to do anything! I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

The woman laughs even louder. You look around and find yourself on the outskirts of the city. How in God’s name did you get all the way out here so quickly?

You glance at your cell phone; Jesus Christ it’s already six o’clock. You run your hand through your hair, exhaustion finally starting to set in.

The woman still has not stopped laughing, “Oh, you are quite the amusing one! I was having quite a bad day until you showed up. Please, let me do you a favor.” You eye the woman suspiciously, “What kind of favor are you talking about?” The woman laughs once again, but this time it sounds more like a cackle.

“Well, look at me. Can’t you guess by what I’m wearing what kind of favors I can offer you?”

You return to your thoughts of medieval gypsies, “You’re not magic. Magic isn’t real.”

The woman suddenly moves in close. You can feel her breath on your face. “It is if you believe.” She says darkly.

You know, or at least you have read, that it is never a good idea to mess with the dark arts.

This is just like one of Rose’s dumb wizard books. A thought suddenly crosses your mind.

“Can you bring people back from the dead?”

Chapter Text

Your name is John Egbert and it sure is boring here in limbo.

You’ve basically done nothing since you woke up, if that term can even be applied to the current situation.

Nobody else is here. You’ve just been kind of floating around for who knows how long.

Does time even exist in this medium? You’ve been in this place for quite some time, but it at least has given you the opportunity to reflect on all that had happened that led you here.

You are one hundred percent certain you are dead. You died in a car accident.

You had been driving Dirk’s car and were merging lanes on the interstate when it had happened.

Dave had been messing around with you and had pushed you a bit too hard. You lost control of the steering wheel and swerved right into a passing semi.

The force of the truck crushed the entire left side of the car, killing you instantly.

However, now that you look back on it, you realize that you could hear something as you were fading away; the sound of someone shrieking your name.

You’re pretty sure it was Dave. It hurts you to remember him in so much pain like that.

He was always calm, cool, and collected. To hear him completely break down and lose it was the most heart breaking thing you’ve ever heard.

You contemplate remembering the whole ordeal in detail before you finally decide to let it be.

You have all of eternity to think about it; why not take a little break?

You roll around in the air, if there’s any oxygen here at all, and try to make yourself comfortable.

You lie in the same position for a little over a minute, in your time, before something catches your attention.

A bright light shines off in the distance. You’re not quite sure how far away it is from you, but something about it seems to draw you towards it.

You swim towards the light. It was a lot closer than you had expected it be.

You reach out your arm to touch the light and then darkness surrounds you once more.

Chapter Text

You wake up in what looks like a cemetery. You look around but your vision is blurry. It looks like there are two people sitting next to you.

One seems to be trying to get your attention, but you can’t hear him. Your head starts to hurt.

You try to get up but find yourself to be completely immobile. The two people see you struggling and immediately try to help you stand.

Your vision starts to come back into focus. You shake your head lightly and turn to your helpers.

There is an old woman dressed like some sort of witch or something and next to her stands an unfamiliar boy.

The boy looks ecstatic to see you, though he probably wouldn’t like to be described with such a word as ‘ecstatic’.

“John?” The boy asks you. You look at him and blink, “Who?”

The boy’s happy demeanor fades quickly when you don’t seem to recognize the name. Is it yours?

You just now realized that you don’t know your own name.

You’re also not quite sure how you got here in the first place.

The longer you are awake the more strength you seem to gain back in your body.

You stand up straight, independent of the boy and woman’s help, and start walking.

The boy rushes to your side, “John, do you not remember anything?” You look at him again, still walking. “Is my name John?”

The boy rubs his temples in frustration. You really want to help the boy out, but you honestly don’t know a damn thing about yourself; or about anything really.

It’s like you were just born today, except in the body of a seventeen-year-old boy. Apparently.

You remind yourself that you haven’t checked out the state of your body yet. You stop walking and look down at yourself.

You are completely disgusted with what you find.

You look to be in what once was a nice suit. The suit, however, looks as though it has been disintegrating for some time now. You reach up to your hair and run your hand through it, feeling nothing but grease and dirt.

“Can I get cleaned up?” You turn to ask the boy, who hasn’t left your side. The boy blinks once before taking your hand to lead you out of the cemetery, waving to the woman on his way out.

You hear the woman’s cackles fade away as the two of you start your trek back into town.


-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CA: you
TG: what do you want cant you see that im busy
CA: wwhat havve you done
TG: what do you mean
CA: you havve dabbled in the dark arts
CA: dont you realize wwhat youvve unleashed on the wworld

TG: why do you care you dont live on this planet
TG: you dont even live in this dimension

CA: fool
CA: you dont understand wwhat youvve done
CA: this is bigger than you an me

TG: listen id love to stick around and chat about magic and all that good stuff
TG: but like I said
TG: im busy
TG: plus thats roses area of expertise
TG: why dont you go bug her about it

CA: fine
CA: but wwhen the gods come to collect you for collateral
CA: dont come cryin to me

TG: yeah whatever

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: What did you do?
TG: stuff
TT: No wait, a better question would be how did you do it?
TT: I’m quite sure that I know what you did.

TG: really now
TT: Yes.
TG: what did i do
TT: After you bolted from the café you ran into an old woman who offered you a favor and, sensing her magical abilities, you asked if she could bring John back from the dead.
TT: And she did.

TG: how the fuck did you know that
TT: Eridan told me.
TG: aw man i didnt expect him to actually go talk to you
TT: Yes he told me that you sent him.
TT: But you should have listened to him.
TT: He seems to know what he’s talking about.

TG: no screw him
TT: Dave, this has never been done before. We don’t know the side effects that this could have on the stability of the universe.
TG: no man its cool
TG: other than a little amnesia johns fine

TT: Wait, he doesn’t remember anything?
TG: yeah kinda
TG: listen can we talk later
TG: its kinda hard to type while walking and simultaneously pulling a dirty looking kid down the street

TT: Okay, just go back to your apartment. Jade and I will meet you there soon.
TG: fine

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] –-

You somehow manage to lead John all the way back to your apartment. You made sure to get an apartment near campus for various reasons, most of which concerned how to work out sleeping in the latest and still not missing your first class.

The moment you open the door Luka senses something is awry. She starts barking uncontrollably.

You lead John to the couch and sit him down before you deal with the hefty German Shepherd. You grab hold of her collar and lead her to John so she can get used to having an unfamiliar boy in the house.

Usually you only bring girls back to your apartment, and usually your dog loves them. And usually you would be happy that Luka is wary of strange boys, but this boy is special.

The dog eventually gains John’s scent and immediately jumps on him in joy.

You of course forget that John has forgotten everything, so when he freaks out as if a giant monster is attacking him you find it odd.

You then remember and pull the creature off of him, laughing awkwardly while doing so. You lock the dog in your room and come out to sit next to John.

There is a moment of silence before you finally work up the courage to explain things to him.

You start from the very beginning; telling him of your adventures in Sburb, talking of going to the same college and living together because that’s what best friends do, reminding him of his surprise visit to Houston during high school, and the subsequent crash that took his life.

All the while he sat there listening patiently, taking it all in stride. Once you had finished recounting the tale of his life you both sit there in silence.

The air is thick as you wait for him to respond in some way. Finally he does.

“Wow, that’s really something, Dave. I’m glad you told me. I’m also happy that you thought highly enough of me to bring me back. Normal people usually don’t do that, even if they really want to. They simply move on with their lives. So here is my question; why did you decide to bring me back? Sure, I was your friend, and we did a lot of things together, it sounds like. But why go through the trouble of reviving me if you weren’t even sure of the consequences yourself? Was I really that important to you?”

You have to look away. You can’t bring yourself to look him in the eyes; those blue eyes that you’ve caught yourself getting lost in on more than one occasion.

You inhale and exhale a couple of times, almost methodically, before you can answer him.

“Yes.” You say simply.

You sense John turning to face you, “What made me so important to you? What did I do that Rose or Jade didn’t? What millions before me didn’t do to make their friends contemplate messing with the dark arts?”

You tense up and a million thoughts race through your mind. You have finally admitted it to yourself, so why not to the rest of the world?

You muster up the courage to face him and say stoically, “Because I loved you.”

Chapter Text

John blinks once before he mutters out a garbled “What?”

You feel like punching him, but you’re afraid that he would disintegrate right before your eyes if you even looked at him a bit too hard.

“You heard me.” You mumble under your breath. You avert your gaze to the floor; you want to avoid confronting him about this subject as long as possible.

Before John has an opportunity to respond you are interrupted by the doorbell ringing. You have never been more thankful for a convenient distraction in your life.

You figure it’s Rose and Jade and yell for them to come on in. The door opens slowly, almost hesitantly. You glance over to the door curiously; Rose and Jade had never been hesitant around you before.

Words fail you as you realize that it’s not Rose and Jade currently entering your apartment.

You feel like throwing yourself out the window as Teran Naccarato makes his way slowly into your living room.

“Shit, what do you want?” You ask angrily, trying to convey your grievance at the sight of your old doctor again.

Teran flinches but soon regains his cool. “It’s been a long time since I’ve checked up on you, Dave. I thought I would stop by and see how you’re doing.”

You glare at him before you suddenly remember that John is sitting next to you. You whip around to find nothing but the air beside you.

You nearly gasp but remember to remain cool as you ponder where the hell he could have gone. You ignore that thought for now and turn back to Teran.

Just before he has a chance to ask you any lame psychological questions, like he normally does, your phone goes off.

You hold up a hand to shut him up temporarily, “Hold on, this is important.” You say before you even look at your phone to see who is contacting you.

You hear Teran sigh and take a seat directly across from you in the recliner you salvaged from the junkyard across town a couple of months ago.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: wow neat!
TG: john what the hell are you doing
EB: i found your computer and thought i would try out this messaging thing i saw on your desktop
EB: i think i am starting to remember some things now
EB: like my old pesterchum account!

TG: yeah ok thats cool and all but can you get off now
EB: aw but why?
EB: i like bugging you hehe

TG: ok i like bugging you too but im kinda busy at the moment if you couldnt tell
EB: who is that?
TG: dr naccarato
TG: he was my doctor later turned annoying unwanted therapist after the car crash

EB: which one?
TG: the one that killed you dumbass
EB: oh
TG: yeah oh now get off and stay in that room
TG: he knows what you look like and if he sees you im finished

EB: fine

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You slip your phone back into your pocket and glance up to find the doctor staring at you intently. It gives you the creeps and you wish he would just leave.

“Okay, go ahead and ask away. I have somewhere that I need to be soon so I really would not like to be held up by my old doctor wondering if I’m okay however many years after this happened.”

You notice a trace of guilt flash across Teran’s face before he goes back to being the stoic ER doctor you remember well from that day many years ago. Even you have stopped counting.

“Actually I have a message from your brother. I was in the area with my family and he thought it right for me to give it to you in person.”

Teran makes his way over to you stiffly and hands you a folded note. You look away as you take it from his hands.

He doesn’t say another word as he gratefully makes his exit. You sigh and run your free hand through your hair.

“Why does this kind of shit always happen to me?” You mutter to yourself as you gently open the note.

Your eyes widen as you read your brother’s chicken scratch handwriting.

Hey kid,

Listen, I know you’ve got your panties in a bunch right now. I don’t know exactly what’s happening down there, but bear with me for a while. I’ve been meaning to leave Cali for a while but these fuckers just keep drawing me back. I also know that it’s around that time of year again. I asked Teran to help me help you. I hope you’re not being a little shit to him again. Do you know how much this man has done for you over the years? You are the most ungrateful douche monkey I’ve ever known. That usually deserves praise from me, but this is kind of a special case. Once Teran gives you this letter I want you to follow him down to the street. There’s a little surprise out there from me to you. You’re welcome.

You are struck down for a split second. You run your brother’s words through your mind over and over again.

You are indeed an ungrateful douche monkey. But things are different now. Now that John is with you again, nothing else is going to remind you of that day. You will start your life anew with your best friend and you will make sure to never let him leave your sight ever again. He will be with you every day. Yes, he will never leave you alone.

“Can I come out now?” You hear John’s faint voice coming from the door across the hall.

You sigh and yell at him to come on out. He’s grinning like a dork when he makes his way over to you by the door. That’s when you remember your brother’s note.

“Stay here.” You order him. John pouts again, but obliges.

You close the front door behind you silently as you tiptoe down the stairs. You’re not sure why you are being so cautious. Maybe it’s because you can’t be sure anymore that John will give himself away.

Or maybe even you will. It’s better to be safe than sorry, you guess.

You glide through the lobby and right out the front door. You almost fall on your face when you see it.

Teran is there standing next to a brand new black Mustang. This is the same make and model of the car that had killed your best friend what seems like a century ago.

Teran still looks a little uneasy being around you, but he masks himself well and hands you another note from your brother. You eye the car warily before glancing at the simple message.

Here’s your chance to redeem yourself.

You inwardly curse your brother. You’re not quite sure what his motives were in doing this. You decide not to question it as you turn to thank Teran.

You frown as you see the back of his head slowly fade into the parking lot.

Now you feel like shit for treating him poorly. You shake your guilt away and run back upstairs.

You open the door not quite expecting what to find. To your surprising disappointment, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary.

You see John sitting on the couch in silence. He’s staring out of the window. He doesn’t even notice as you close the door and walk over to him.

Before you have a chance to talk to him again you hear the door opening. You almost yell out in aggravation before you realize that it must be Rose and Jade.

You wonder if they saw Teran as they were walking up. You shake your head and rid yourself of all thoughts concerning the good doctor as you walk over to meet them halfway.

Sure enough, Rose and Jade stand in your doorway offering out a plate of freshly made chocolate chip cookies.

You hesitantly take a cookie and eat it one bite, “Take a seat.” You say through a mouthful of cookie.

God damn, these are delicious. You snag another one before they make their way into the living room.

You thought that they’d be a bit more surprised to see John than they were, but the two girls sit calmly on the couch and offer up the plate of cookies to their old friend as if he had been around for the past six years all along.

Even Jade seems unfazed by this whole ordeal. Rose must have filled her in, you think.

You sigh loudly and saunter over to the recliner across from the couch and plop your butt down on the soft cushion, “Okay, let’s get this over with quickly. John and I have a lot of catching up to do.”

John shoots you a curious look as he tries to not be overwhelmed by Rose and Jade on either side of him, staring intently at his face.

“This isn’t a peep show, ladies. Either pay up or get out.” You’re half-joking, hoping that they get the memo and lay off of John. Can’t they see that the boy is obviously distressed?

“I honestly refused to believe it unless I saw it with my own eyes.” Rose remarks as she takes John’s hand gingerly and holds it up to the light, dim though it is.

She looks as if she’s inspecting a letter to gauge its contents. John has given up trying to get them to back off, so he lets the girls manhandle him to their heart’s content.

You are getting ready to yell at the girls once more when you are suddenly cut off by your dog’s whining coming in through the bedroom door.

You are confused for a split second before you remember John barging in there a few moments earlier to hide.

Your dog now knows that there are people out here waiting to be greeted by her and she’s wanting badly to be let out.

You rub your temples profusely before hopping out of the recliner and jogging over to your bedroom door.

You open it slowly, anticipating everything that could go wrong, and wait as your dog strides into the living room to greet the guests.

Luka seems to take a shining to Rose and Jade, just as she does with many of the other girls that Dave brings into the apartment during the school year.

The dog is just making her way over to John when your phone goes off again.

You want to throw it against the wall once you see who is messaging you.

Once again, you decide to humor him, if only to prolong having “The Talk” with John and the rest of your friends.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: why
TG: so

TG: listen dude you all need to lay off of john for a while
TG: it hasnt even been three hours and already you guys are falling in line to get some of this hot egbert action
TG: ok that was a little out of line given the current situation
TG: but im still not letting you talk to john
TG: why do you even want to talk to him
TG: i thought you hated him


TG: okay hold on let me ask the magic conch
TG: the conch
TG: says no

-- turntechGodhead [TG] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

You think you might as well tell all your little troll chums the good news. You open up 11 different pesterlog chat windows and send them all the same message:

TG: john is okay

You subsequently close all 11 windows at the same time and pray to God none of them feel the need to message you back.

Chapter Text

Your name is Rose Lalonde and you should be happy right now.

Currently sitting next to you is your old friend John Egbert, recently risen from the dead.

You wish you were kidding.

Your other old friend, Dave Strider, messed with something that should never have been messed with; the dark arts.

You know better than anyone what consequences await your friend, but you don’t tell him.

You figure it’s better to let him find out on his own. You know, atone for his mistakes, and all that.

You watch carefully as Dave types furiously into his phone while pondering whether or not to inquire as to who could be messaging him at a time like this.

You are soon in no position to question this, however, as your own phone buzzes in your pocket.

You are pleasantly surprised to see her messaging you again after so long.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

GA: Rose I Have A Question
TT: Yes?
GA: What Exactly Happened To John
TT: Nothing much, really.
TT: Basically he died a few years ago, in our time, and Dave recently brought him back to life with the help of some voodoo toting witch he found on the streets of Houston.
TT: See? Nothing out of the ordinary.

GA: Is This Type Of Behavior Ordinary For Humans
TT: No Kanaya, that was a joke.
TT: I thought we had established what defines human sarcasm.
TT: You’re slacking again.

GA: Sorry It Has Been A While
TT: Yes it has, hasn’t it?
TT: I believe that is partially my fault.
TT: I have been quite busy these past few years.
TT: I apologize. I really should try to keep in touch.

GA: Well It Does Not Matter Anymore
TT: You’re right. I guess it doesn’t.
GA: Is John Okay
TT: Yes, he’s fine.
TT: As fine as a recently born again seventeen-year-old human boy could be.

GA: That Sounds Disturbing
TT: It truly is.
GA: How Is Dave
TT: He’s fine, I suppose.
TT: Crazy, yes, but also fine.

GA: Do You Think That He Made A Mistake
TT: Of course I do, but I would never tell him that.
GA: Why Not
TT: Because he is an adult now, and he must learn to face the consequences of his actions on his own.
GA: That Is A Bit Rude
GA: I Mean He Is Your Friend
GA: Friends Normally Look Out For Each Other
GA: Or At Least That Is What I Assume Human Friends Do

TT: Yes, that is usually a requirement for being a person’s friend here on Earth.
TT: You’re right, maybe I should let him in on some of what could happen.
TT: But I’m still not going to tell him everything.

GA: I Guess That Is The Best We Can Hope For At This Time
TT: Indeed.
TT: I will talk to you later, Kanaya.
TT: This time I promise.

GA: Okay

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

Before you have a chance to put your phone away it is soon buzzing again. You inwardly groan as you answer the royal prince himself.

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

CA: tell him
TT: I’m sorry?
CA: tell him wwhat a stupid idiot he is
TT: I’m assuming you mean Dave?
CA: obvviously
TT: As I just got finished telling Kanaya, I will tell him some things, but not everything.
CA: wwhat
CA: wwhy not

TT: I’m not repeating myself again.
TT: Go ask Kanaya, if you’re so curious.

CA: no wway
CA: kan hates me

TT: Well then that’s too bad for you.
CA: just tell him so wwe can avvoid another catastrophe
CA: i dont wwant to get stuck pickin up after evveryone again

TT: You weren’t stuck picking up after everyone.
TT: In fact, I don’t think I recall you ever lifting a finger to help us out in the end.
TT: If trolls even have fingers, that is.

CA: wwe do
TT: So what were you doing the whole time while we were fighting for our lives?
CA: thats a secret
TT: Okay, I won’t question your motives, your highness.
CA: finally someone wwho understands my rightful place
TT: Alright, let’s pretend that I was being totally serious right then.
CA: wwhat
TT: Nevermind.
CA: either you tell him or i wwill
CA: an i dont think that he wwould wwant to talk to me

TT: I can imagine not.
TT: Fine, I will tell him.

CA: good

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

You think that it would be a bad idea to go against your word, considering the trolls’ viewport feature on their chat client, so you decide to fill Dave in on all that might happen now that he’s royally fucked everything up.

Chapter Text

Your name is Jade Harley and you are the happiest girl in the whole world!

You are finally seeing your brother again after what feels like forever and a day.

You are almost unable to keep your eyes off of him. He looks exactly like he did the last day you saw him. Still young in the face.

Well, that isn’t a surprise, you guess. After all, he was just born again as how he was the day he died. Technically he is still seventeen years old, while you and the rest of your friends are now in your early twenties.

You wonder how this will play out with Dave.

It will come as no surprise when Dave finally confesses his feelings for John. Both yourself and Rose knew this day was coming.

Once you caught wind of Dave’s messing with the dark arts, you knew exactly what he was planning to do.

Today will most definitely be the day that Dave bares all to you both and you could not be more prepared.

You do have to act surprised, though. If Dave finds out that you knew about his feelings all along he might get upset.

You manage to tear yourself away from John long enough to scan the room. Both Dave and Rose are messaging someone on their phones.

You glance back at John to find him staring vacantly out the window. His eyes are distant and unfocused.

Before you can say something your own phone buzzes in your pocket. You take one last look at John before pulling it out and looking to see just who could be messaging you at a time like this.

Your eyebrows shoot up as you answer your old friend, if she could be called that.

-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

CC: ) (ello Jade! 38D
GG: feferi?
GG: why are you messaging me?

CC: I can’t say ) (ello to an old friend?
GG: no that is not what i meant
GG: you know what nevermind
GG: is there something that you needed?

CC: Yea) (, sort of!
CC: You sea, Eridan ) (as got ) (imself all worked up about somefin! But, w) (enever I ask ) (im about it ) (e just says somefin about Dave!
CC: So, do you know w) (at’s up wit) ( Dave?

GG: uh
GG: yeah
GG: its kind of complicated

CC: You can tell me!
GG: um well
GG: hold on a second
GG: can you message me back in like five minutes?

CC: S) (ore! 38D

-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

You look up from your phone and gesture towards Rose. Luckily she sees you and you don’t have to disturb Dave from whatever he’s engaged in at the moment.

You motion towards your phone and she gets the hint. You open up a new pesterlog window and start typing.

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

GG: who are you talking to?
TT: Some trolls.
TT: Why?

GG: well one of them is asking me what happened with dave
GG: im not really sure what all went down but i thought you might know
GG: also i was wondering if i could tell her about it because she is worried about eridan

TT: Feferi?
GG: yeah
TT: Well, I would suppose that I have a better understanding of the situation now after I have had the chance to talk to both Dave and Eridan.
GG: but you havent talked to dave yet
GG: at least not while ive been here

TT: I chatted with him a bit before I met up with you.
GG: oh
TT: Yes, and through deductive reasoning I have come to a general conclusion about what might have ‘went down’ today.
GG: okay well
GG: will you tell me?

TT: How do I put this lightly?
TT: It’s a really long story.

GG: well i probably could have guessed that!
TT: Just tell her that if she wants to know what happened then she can message me about it.
GG: fine

-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

You relay the message to Feferi, who seems to drop the matter after that. She says that she will go talk to Eridan about it again; maybe try to calm him down.

You shove your phone back into your pocket a bit harder than you had intended to. You are just so frustrated with being left out of the loop all the time!

Pretty much everyone in the room knows what happened today except for you.

You groan and fall onto John’s shoulder. He doesn’t move, but you reassure yourself that he is just as happy to see you as you are to see him.

Chapter Text

You’ve had just about enough of this bullshit. Everyone is so busy messaging on their phones that they don’t even notice when you drop yours on the coffee table and move to stand up. “Okay, you’ve all seen what you wanted to see. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have some more catching up to do.”

Rose and Jade whip their heads up simultaneously to stare incredulously at you. Before either one of them has a chance to retort you swipe them up and push them gently towards the door.

Jade whines in protest and Rose simply scoffs as she nabs the rest of her cookies. You’re disappointed, but it’s a small price to pay.

They leave without another word.

You sigh heavily; finally alone with John and there’s still so much that you want to tell him.

You walk back into the living area to find John in exactly the same position as you left him. He’s gone from being energetic, reminiscent of the best friend that you knew so well, to almost dead again.

You begin to question the quality of the old lady’s handiwork when you suddenly notice John’s piercing glare being directed upon you.

You force yourself to keep calm as you stride over to your friend. Without thinking you throw your arms around his neck and breathe in his scent.

How you’ve missed this smell. Even though he just came out of the ground there is still the same hint of shaving cream and baked goods that you remember oh so very well coming from his clothes.

You hear rumbling suddenly and pull back to look at John. His face is blank; his eyes emotionless and distant. You unravel yourself and hold your hand out, concerned, “John?”

He continues to stare off into space, ignoring you completely.

The rumbling becomes louder, more intense. You’re not sure where it’s coming from. You are beginning to panic.

“John!” You yell, hoping that it’s enough to snap your friend out of whatever weird trance he’s in.

The sound of your raised voice seems to have an impact on John, but not in a good way.

When he hears his name yelled out John’s face suddenly contorts into a whirlwind of pain and anger. He hunches over and clutches himself protectively as the rumbling continues to grow in volume. He starts to make pained noises as he falls to his knees in agony.

You feel that you have made a very grave mistake.

You run all the way back to the front door at the end of the hallway. You stare from afar and wonder just what exactly will become of your best friend as he undergoes this scary transformation, if it could even be called that.

To be honest, you have no fucking idea what’s happening. Your only concern right now is John’s safety.

John’s safety.

What the hell are you doing hiding like a little bitch?

You have to make sure John’s okay. It’s your number one priority.

With your confidence renewed, you run back into the living area to find John’s shrieks have become louder and now his entire body has begun rumbling uncontrollably.

You freeze momentarily; the sight is almost too much for you to handle.

You’re scared. That’s an understatement. You’re scared not only for your life, but for John’s as well.

You shake your fears aside and run to your friend. You don’t quite know what to do, though.

He seems to be oblivious to your presence in front of him. He continues screaming, not once bringing his head up as his painful shrieks are directed towards the floor.

Your mind blanks as the only thing you can bring yourself to do is throw your arms around your friend once more and pray that he returns to normal.

A sudden jerk racks both of your bodies. John’s painful screams finally seem to calm down and his body relaxes in your arms.

You breathe a sigh of relief and sit back to look at your friend.

What you see makes your heart stop.

John now stares at you, eyes cold and dead once more, as dozens of large tentacles surround him in a dark aura.

Chapter Text

You are stunned. You have no idea what the hell is going on.

Maybe this is what Eridan and Rose meant by the consequences of messing with the dark arts?

You shake your head violently as you try to bring yourself back to reality. You have to think fast in order to deal with this situation quickly.

You approach your friend cautiously while maintaining a safe enough distance where his creepy tentacle things can’t reach you. “John?”

John’s face is pale, almost snow white, and his eyes are pitch black. It’s like staring into the abyss where before there had been blue skies that you found yourself getting lost in on more than one occasion.

After what seemed like an eternity, John finally opens his mouth to speak. And it is terrifying.

“What’s wrong, Dave?” His voice sounds like the screaming agony of one million dying men. It is like Satan himself has taken over John’s vocal chords and he is using them as his own string orchestra.

“John…how are you feeling?” You say tentatively. John tilts his head in confusion, like a puppy. “What do you mean? I feel fine.”

You can’t stand to hear him speak anymore. You cover your ears and fall to your knees. You are officially freaking the fuck out. You feel like screaming. You feel like crying. You feel like dying.

Why did you do this? You were warned not to mess with the dark arts, yet you did so anyway? You know that you have made a grave mistake.

Before you can continue on your downward spiral into more self-deprecation, you feel your phone go off in your pocket.

You force yourself to pull it together and pull your phone out of your pocket. John looks at you curiously before sitting down on the couch and staring out the window as if nothing had happened.

You have a pounding headache at the moment and looking at your bright ass phone screen isn’t helping at all. You see that Rose is messaging you. You swear she has a sixth sense for this kind of shit. You sigh deeply as you answer her message.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: Are you okay?
TG: why the fuck would i be okay
TT: So it happened.
TG: how do you know what the fuck happened
TT: I had a hunch.
TG: well then fix it
TT: I can’t fix it. There is nothing any of us can do.
TG: so are you saying i just fucked the universe up
TT: Not necessarily.
TG: well then what are you saying
TG: because unless you are messaging me with what to do about john then i really cant talk to you right now
TT: My advice would be to seek out the woman who made this all possible. See if she can use her powers to fix John.
TG: i wouldnt even know where to begin looking for her
TT: Would you like for Jade and I to help you in your search?
TG: then who would look after john?
TT: Okay then, how about Jade and I look for the woman and you can stay with John to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. Or someone else.
TG: you dont know what she looks like
TT: Don’t worry, I will be able to tell when I find her. Us dark arts ladies have to stick together, you know.
TG: sigh
TT: If I have any questions then I will message you, okay?
TG: fine
TG: hurry

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You hastily tuck your phone away back in your pocket. You sigh again and run your hand through your hair. You have no idea how you’re going to deal with this mess.

You let out a frustrated groan before you stand up to return to the living room to find John still sitting in the same position where you left him: sitting on the couch and staring out the window with a blank expression on his face.

You once again approach cautiously, not sure if he will recognize you again or not, “John?”

He doesn’t turn his head to answer, “Yes Dave?”

You freeze. You’re not quite sure what to say now. You’re not even sure if this is still the same John from your childhood, from one hour ago.

You don’t know what to say so you just say whatever comes to your mind first. “Do you want to go to my room?”

At this John’s head turns slowly toward you, “I would like that, Dave.”