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“Okay, bulgemunch, check it out. I’m here to answer your completely fucking awful booty call. ‘Booty’ being the most appropriate word possible here, since I swear to God about eighty per cent of those idiotic texts were about my rear. Are you just really that uncreative, or there just some kind of fixation developing here? Haven’t you any shame?”
John thinks he's awesome at sex. He isn't.