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This Kidnapping Is Sponsored by Hyundai

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Fiona walked into the loft jingling car keys. Michael, who was reading, and Sam, who was eating yogurt, looked up at her.

"Hello, boys. I just got a new car. It's a 2010 Hyundai Genesis Coupe. It seats four, has a V6 engine and ten cubic inches of space in the trunk."

"Where are you going with this, Fi?" Michael asked.

"Michael, you know where I'm going with this. I want you two to kidnap me and drive me around South Beach. I think this trunk has the potential to handle some of our guests when we kidnap them."

"I don't know how much time we have to kidnap you."

"Yeah, Fi. I was going to hang around for just a few more minutes and head back to the old lady."

Fiona went into a drawer and pulled out a roll of duct tape. She pulled some of it off the roll.

"Come on, Sam. Would you really pass up the opportunity to have duct tape over my mouth for an hour? You wouldn't have to hear about my dreams of Tasing Michael and me together." She moved her eyebrows up and down.

Michael gave Fiona a look of disbelief.

"Okay, I'm in. Are you in, Mikey?"

Michael gave Sam that same look.

 

Fiona sat in a chair in the loft. She looked at her watch and yawned.

After she yawned, Michael and Sam came into the loft. Michael put a craft knife up to Fiona's throat and retracted a tiny bit of the blade. "Don't speak."

Sam tied Fiona's feet together with plastic handcuffs. He did the same thing with Fiona's wrists. When it came time to tape over Fiona's mouth, Sam pulled the tape off and Michael cut the tape. Michael put the tape over Fiona's mouth and picked up Fiona.

Fiona's eyes widened as Michael was taking her to her trunk.

"You're the only person I've met who gets too excited when she gets kidnapped."

Fiona raised her eyebrows.

"That is, if I'm kidnapping you."

"Mm-hmm," Fiona hummed.

 

Sam drove Fiona's car to Inlet Creek, the southernmost point of South Beach. From there he drove up to 41st Street and Pine Creek Drive. After turning down Flamingo Drive, Sam stopped Fiona's car in a parking lot. He opened the trunk in a parking lot near Flamingo Drive.

Michael pulled the tape off Fiona's mouth.

"Hey, Fi, are you okay?" Sam asked.

"Were you driving all the way up here?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"You're a terrible driver, Sam. You don't drive as if your life depended on it."

"At least I'm a better driver than you are. Is there a reason why you feel like randomly speeding down Collins Avenue to get to a Publix?"

"Guys, guys! Sam, I'll drive the Coupe back to the loft. And I'll drive it the way Fiona wants the car driven."

"You never know when the police might be trailing us, Sam."

"It is really hot and humid today. It's not at a dangerous level to worry about Fi cooking in the car."

"Let me guess. I suggest this kidnapping idea to you and you don't invite me for yogurt. I'm going to remember that, Michael, and punish you appropriately."

"I'm sure I can take your punishment, Fi. Sam, do you want to get some yogurt before we take Fiona back to the loft?"

Sam chuckled. "Sure, Mikey."

"And do you still have that roll of duct tape?"

Sam felt for the tape beside Fiona in the trunk. He pulled it out and waved in Fiona's face. "Yeah. It's right here. And I still have the craft knife with us."

 

Sam and Michael sat on the trunk of Fiona's car, eating frozen yogurt.

"Hey, Fiona, are you okay?" Sam asked.

Fiona yelled muffled obscenities from the trunk.

"She's okay, Mikey."

 

Back at the loft, Sam cut Fiona's handcuffs off and Michael removed the duct tape from Fiona's lips. Before she jumped out of the trunk, Fiona grabbed a stun gun, which was hidden in a compartment in the trunk. Fiona turned the stun gun on and pointed it at Michael.

"So this is what I get for a yogurt break," Michael said.

Fiona nodded. "At least the ride in the trunk coming back was pleasant. I've been in smaller, less comfortable spaces."

"You two make the most dysfunctional, yet functional, couple I've ever seen."

"You know, Sam, I'm taking this back in the loft. You can go home to your old lady or you can watch Michael and me and action. Or you can join us. I'm not picky." Fiona turned to Michael. "You, inside the loft, now."

Michael turned around and walked up the stairs to the loft.

Sam shrugged and followed them.