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Loving You In August

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“My little pony~ my little pony~”

Oh hell no. Jimin looked out his window, furrowing his eyebrows at the boy in front of his house. It was one month before school and Jimin did not want to wake up earlier than 10AM yet. Ever since the new neighbors down 5 blocks moved in, the boy would come by at Jimin’s house at 5am-7am and again at sunset to blast music.

Jimin had enough and was going to call police because the boy was creating a disturbance in the neighborhood. To him at least. As soon as he dialed one digit, he shut his phone off. He can just tell the boy instead of having 6 police sirens with annoying sirens in front of his house.

Jimin walked down the stairs, putting a sweater on because the mornings were always cold. As he opened the door, a blast of wind and sound slapped his face.

When Jimin sat beside the boy, he was crying. That’s a shitload of snot. “Hey there,” Jimin placed his hand on his knee. “what’s wrong?”

“Fucking family is fucked up.” He looks up at Jimin with red eyes,filled with tears. “Sorry.”

“It’s cool, you’re just really angry right now.” Jimin sat closer to the boy.“My name is Jimin, what’s yours?”

“Taehyung.”

“Well, Tae, would you like to talk about it to me?” He can’t stay mad at a sad boy.

“All you should know is my dad is an alcoholic and mom takes her misery out on me, telling me I’m an accident and reminds me I’m fucking useless piece of shit whenever I’m happy.” Oh my god.  Jimin frowned. “I just wanna die already so I don’t have to deal with these people.”

“Taehyung don’t think that way,”

“I know… that’s why I look at the sun rise and set with loud music, to escape reality. Tv shows and sunsets are all I live for now So far, this is the place for me to see the sun and it’s far away from my house too.”

“This isn’t the best place though,” Jimin mumbled. Taehyung shrugged. “Just come here by sunset and I’ll show you.”

“Okay.”

Maybe he won’t call the police.

When Jimin was playing MapleStory, he heard running from outside. He wonder why there was someone running until he heard the doorbell ring 5 times. He put on a sweater because the nights were even colder than the mornings. When Jimin opened the door, Taehyung was breathing heavily. “Are you that excited? It’s only 6 in the-”

“What? Oh- yeah I am, sorry.” Taehyung looked down the street. As soon as Jimin poked his head out to see what was down the street, Taehyung grabbed his hand and ran. Jimin was still registering what was happening. He had questions to ask but now was not the time. The place Jimin wanted to show Taehyung was the other direction. They didn’t know where they were going but Taehyung hoped it was a place with a nice view of the sun.

Jimin’s lungs were burning, his throat burning, everything was burning but he kept it to himself. Wherever they were going, Jimin has never been there and he’s lived here for all his life. It was an abandoned park and there were giant trees all surrounding the playground, grass living inside the slides and flowers growing on the stairs, tree vines on monkey bars. Despite the eerie feeling, it was quite beautiful. Taehyung pulled Jimin to a bench on the other side of the playground, near a steep hill.

“What was that?” Jimin rubbed his hands, pulling each finger. Taehyung held onto his hand so tightly when they ran, his hand was turning purple.

“Family.” Taehyung looked at Jimin’s purple hands, biting his lips. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jimin sighed. “Dad or mom?”

“Both.” Taehyung pulled his hood on. “I just… wanted to run away.”

They talked til the sun started setting. They talked about mood rings, colors, yogurt, movies, then Taehyung’s favorite topic: tv shows.

“I like My Little Pony,” Taehyung shamelessly answered. “because friendship is very magical and it shows the power of friendship. I wish I had friends like Twilight Sparkle.”

“You don’t have any…?”

“I have you now.” Jimin bit his lips to stop himself from forming a smile.

“Who’s your favorite character?”

“Sunset Shimmer,” Taehyung smiled at himself. “I like how she tries to change people’s idea of her by showing the new side of her- saying, ‘Hey I’ve changed and you know what? First impressions aren’t always right about people.’.”

“Sooo don’t judge a book by it’s cover?”

“Yeah… kind of.” Taehyung nodded. “What about you?”

“I like to watch Steven Universe and my favorite character is Garnet.”

“Garnet is so precious.”

“I like her because she gives the best advice and how she said she’s never alone because of her relationship between Ruby and Sapphire. It makes me want to have friends to lean on.” Jimin glanced at Taehyung, then lost in his brown eyes.

“Yeah,” Taehyung smiled.

They were so lost in their conversation, the sun was gone by the time they stopped. They were upset but they made their first friendship ever, so the day wasn’t a waste. When they walked away from the playground, they locked arms so they wouldn’t lose each other, finding their way out. They were locking arms tightly and holding each other’s hands as if it was natural to do.

When they reached the gas station, Jimin instantly knew where they were. “My house isn’t far from here,” Jimin told Taehyung, who was frowning. To turn his frown rightside up, he said, “you could stay over.”

“Really?” Taehyung tried to contain his excitement, but he couldn’t and hugged the smaller boy. “Aww, thank you ChimChim, thank you~”

As they walked home, they got closer and closer to each other until there was no personal space. Both their hands were tired from holding each other’s too tight, but they still held their hands together loosely. It was so cold they weren’t getting warmer but when they glanced at each other their hearts warmed up just a teeny, tiny bit.

“It’s really cold tonight.” Taehyung stared out the window, showing his back towards Jimin.“Why are you sleeping on the ground…?”

“Because these thin blankets can’t do anything and sleeping next to you warms me up faster than those blankets.”

“Why don’t you just sleep on the bed?”

“Because you’re not in the bed.” Taehyung started laughing. Jimin rolled his eyes.

“That doesn’t sound right,” Jimin punched Taehyung’s back. “well then I guess I’m taking the bed.” Taehyung got up and picked up Jimin bridal style. Jimin held tight onto Taehyung’s shoulders.

“Holy shit! You’re stronger than you look!”

“Thanks?” Taehyung slowly placed Jimin on the bed, pulling blankets over them.

When Jimin woke up, it was 3am, and his legs were in between Taehyung’s and his arms wrapped around his chest. The worst part was, Jimin’s head was held against Taehyung’s chest. Ba-dump… ba-dump. Jimin was panicking inside. It’s only the first day they’ve been friends and he’s already having sleepovers. His excuse to himself for moving so fast was he had to protect the fragile boy from the harsh world.

When Jimin woke up again, at 6am, Taehyung was in his room blasting Adventure time songs. Taehyung sang along even though his pronunciation wasn’t exact, aside from that Taehyung’s singing was so beautiful to listen to and soulful. Jimin knew what he was saying but did Taehyung?

“It feels like there’s a fire inside my body~ like there’s a fire inside my heart~” Jimin kept quiet so he could listen to Taehyung more. Taehyung typed in the search bar, Jimin couldn’t see anything but the word, “Garnet”

Taehyung looked back at Jimin and smiled. He knows. “Join me man!” Taehyung ran to Jimin and tackled his body. Jimin sat up and jumped around his bed with Taehyung dancing. “This is Garnet! Back together and I’m never down with the hands of the likes of you because I’m so much better!” They pointed at each other and started using them as guns. “And every part of me is saying go get her~”

“That was probably the happiest moment of my life.” Taehyung fell on the floor, spreading his limbs out.

“Probably?”

“Meeting you was the happiest moment.” Taehyung smiled. Jimin threw a pillow at Taehyung.

“Don’t even,”

“I just did,” Taehyung threw the pillow back at Jimin.

“Oh hey, shouldn’t you go home?”

“I guess…” Taehyung sighed, getting up and picking his sweater off the floor. “See you at the park?”

“Of course.”

Jimin zoomed out of the house as soon as the clocked hit 6:35pm. His chest was burning and his sides hurt but he didn’t rest for a second. When Jimin reached the park, it was empty. Taehyung wasn’t there. Was he lost? Jimin looked around him, then he looked up. Maybe he’s hiding in the trees…

He felt a tap on the shoulder. He jumped and screamed at the top of his lungs. “What the fuck?!” He slapped Taehyung’s chest as payback.

“About time you got here. Dude, I think I found Bigfoot.”

“Noooo Taehyung, no. We’re not going to search for Bigfoot.”

“But finding Bigfoot would be-”

“No, we’re here to watch the sun set and talk.”

“Right-”

“Wait… what do you mean by ‘about time you got here?’, it’s not even past 7.”

“I got here a while ago,” Taehyung grabbed Jimin’s hand and ran to the wooden bench.

“Did you stop by your house today?”

“I walked by.” Jimin frowned. “No biggie, my parents don’t care anyway. If I ever get to an accident, they’ll just yell at me about the bill they have to pay and I rather die than hear them shout at me.”

“Stop being suicidal,” Jimin pushed his knee against Taehyung’s. “where’s your loud music?”

“I forgot it but- I’m replacing it with your voice I guess”

“What now?” Oh no. “Are you gonna kill me to make me scream? Oh my god, Tae-”

“No! Never, I would never kill you, I would never even think of it.” Jimin sighed in relief.

They talked until the sun went away, again. Taehyung didn’t mind but Jimin felt he distracted Taehyung from his stress/anger-reliever. He apologized but Taehyung said, “Don’t be sorry, there are other ways to relieve anger and stress.” He grinned and pat Jimin head.

“How old are you anyway?”

“19, December 30th.” Now Jimin can really say he’s protecting him.

“Oooh I’m older than you, you should respect me more then and call me Hyung.” Jimin nudged Taehyung’s arm. “In return I’ll be your friend whenever you need a shoulder to cry on and protect you, sounds like a great deal right?”

“You should always protect me, dumdum.” Taehyung rolled his eyes.“Friends shouldn’t have prices.”

“Gaaah fine.” Jimin crossed his arms. “Just call me Hyung then.”

“Deal.” Taehyung slapped Jimin’s chest and ran ahead.

“Really?!”

As Jimin and Taehyung ran to the woods everyday, more and more, Jimin has gotten used to the pain but his heart has been beating faster than usual. Every time it happened, he hoped it would stop by the time they reached the park but it never settled down until Jimin went to home. Maybe it was too much running for one day. Or for all his life.

Taehyung suddenly stopped, still holding hands, then putting his other hand over Jimin’s. “You love me right?”

“I love you.” His heart was beating faster. Why was he asking that question?

“Alot?” Taehyung’s beamed, his cheekbones glowing.

“Y-yeah,”

“Well- nevermind,” Taehyung shook his head. “No- there’s a place I want to show you.”

“Okay,”

“Even though we met only a couple days ago, I trust you a lot and you’re really special. Don’t tell anyone where this place is, okay?”

“O-okay.” Jimin wanted Taehyung to stop saying that one word because every time Jimin heard it, his heart pounded a little louder and a little faster.

Taehyung pulled Jimin deeper to the woods, the deeper they went Jimin saw less of the sky above them. He looked down to follow Taehyung’s footsteps and as soon as he turned his head to look up, he was lead to a field of flowers surrounded by tall trees and bushes.

“Amazing,” Jimin said under his breathe.

“I know right,” Taehyung looked at Jimin, who was smiling relaxingly. “I thought maybe we could stay here til the moon hovers over us.”

“Wouldn’t that be midnight?”

“Yeah but the night sky is beautiful too, have you seen pictures?”

“I have and they are beautiful…”

“Sometimes I wonder if I die, I’ll be part of the souls trapped in clouds or the stars in the sky.”

“You’d definitely be a star,”

“Really?!” Taehyung hugged Jimin. “I hope you become a star with me.”

“What if I was a cloud?”

“I’d blow myself up just to be with you.”

“You’re not, actually, gonna blow yourself though, right?”

“Of course not, there’s still a lot of things I want to do before I die.”

“Good,” because Jimin doesn’t want to lose Taehyung. Ever.

For the past week Taehyung hasn’t arrived at Jimin’s door or waiting on the bench. He wasn’t home either, not by the gas station, not in front of Jimin’s house. Then he remembered the flower field. He sprinted to the park, his heart beating faster than usual, he was scared it would burst any moment, the heavy feeling in Jimin’s shoulder was weighing more by the minute. He was tired by the time he reached park and wearily walked to the field. He was lost in the woods, hoping Taehyung would find him any moment because it seemed Taehyung knew this place better than Jimin who lived in the town all his life.

Jimin finally sees a vibrant field of warm colors and forces himself to run, telling himself not to mind the pain in his throat and lungs. His breathing became shorter and shorter, his heart beating faster, the sound booming and the only thing Jimin hears. He stops. Taehyung was in the middle of the field, lying down. Jimin squeezed his head with his two hands, screaming inside. “No, no, no, no.”

He runs over, seeing blood splattered everywhere trailing to Taehyung’s body. Jimin shakes his body, shouting his name. He pats his cheeks until Taehyung started kicking Jimin.

“What?! What happened?!” Taehyung asked.

“You…” Jimin grabbed Taehyung’s shoulders. “you donut, I thought you died!”

Taehyung chuckled. “Okay first of all, the blood is from my nose bleed I had earlier. I wasn’t home because I always leave early to come here, remember? Sometimes even at 3am til the midnight.”

“Why didn’t you call me?!”

“Who are you my girlfriend?”

“Yeah! Yeah I am!” Jimin blurted. “You should tell me these things so I don’t get worried!” Jimin’s face was blowing up, tears escaping his eyes. Taehyung’s laughing turned into a low, comforting voice. He apologized repeatedly, wiping the gigantic tears off his friend.

“Here, you can punch me.” Taehyung shut his eyes tight and face his left side to Jimin.

“I don’t want to punch you!”

“You… wanna hug it out?” Taehyung spread his arms. “Hugging can help a lot, I’ve never tried it but people say it works.”

Jimin tackled Taehyung and squeezed Taehyung’s shoulders together. “Oh wow, you’re strong!” Taehyung tried moving his arms but he couldn’t. “You’re really mad, WOW.”

“Yeah I am!” Jimin buried his face in Taehyung’s neck. “You have a phone don’t you?”

“Yeah…”

“Give it to me,” Taehyung pulled out his phone and Jimin snatched it the second he saw it. “Text or call me whenever you go out, alright?”

“Okay babe,” Taehyung joked.

“Don’t call me babe,” Jimin was still red but Taehyung couldn’t tell if he was blushing or still really angry. Probably both.

“You were joking about the girlfriend though, right?”

“N-n'yeah,” Jimin broke them apart and sat in front of Taehyung, holding his cheeks up, pouting. “I added my number to your contacts, you’re welcome.”

The next day Taehyung isn’t himself. He isn’t lively as usual, he’s hanging out more with the flowers than Jimin and he’s going out more at night than day. Jimin on the other hand, was busy with summer homework he procrastinated for 2 months. He’d check his messages every once in a while and sometimes he sneak out at night to see Taehyung.

“Do you ever sleep out here?”

“Yeah,”

“How long do you stay here?”

“Just one day,”

“Why don’t you come to my house instead?”

“You’re doing homework.”

“So?” They were both silent and felt the air around them change. Jimin was bubbling inside, he didn’t know why, but he couldn’t let it out on Taehyung. “Goodnight-”

“Won’t you stay longer?” Taehyung grabbed Jimin’s fingers.

“I got homework to do,” Jimin walked away, regretting it later because a few days later Taehyung wasn’t found anywhere.

Jimin texted Taehyung at the speed of light. He started beating himself up, hating himself, running all over town. Maybe he was at the gas station they ate every time they came out the woods, maybe just a bit farther away from  the field. Then Jimin slapped himself in the face. The fucking playground. Jimin looked down the tube slides and found a body in the one with the most plants growing on the side. Jimin took deep breathes, his heart beating fast again, he went to the end of the slide. He shook the body’s foot, the leg, then the whole body.

“I’m not fucking dead, I’m sleeping.” Taehyung grumbled.

“Why didn’t you answer your texts and calls?”

“Because I broke my phone the day you walked away,” Jimin’s face grew pale, goosebumps rising on his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Jimin let out a deep breath. “homework sucks ass, studying too, and you-”

“Me?” Taehyung slid out of the tube. “What did I do?”

“You’re always depressed, you don’t tell me, but I can always feel it. You don’t fucking tell me how to make everything okay, how to make you happy. Instead you go on sites to find new ways. Do they even work for you Tae? Do they?” Taehyung furrowed his brows, crossing his arms. Jimin was on the verge of tears. “You know there’s this one way, it’s called crying, and you have tried it once. Now you build it all up inside and protect it with walls I can’t break-”

“If I told this one way , you would’ve left me, again.”

“Again? I never left you Tae and you won’t know my reaction unless you tell me or at least-”

“It’s kissing, alright? There, are y-”

The next thing Taehyung knew was Jimin’s body on top of his, lips touching his. His kisses weren’t the best but it looked like Taehyung didn’t mind. His lips were soft and he couldn’t bring himself to break away. Then Jimin started moving his hips on Taehyung’s stomach. He held Jimin’s hips, wrapping his arms around. Jimin wanted to do more than kisses and small gestures but Jimin stopped himself and pushed himself off Taehyung.

“Fuck- I’m sorry- I just-”

“I don’t mind,”

“No Taehyung, it’s just- what if-?”

“Do you love me?”

“A lot.”

“Then you won’t leave me if you love me a lot,” Taehyung slid his hands down Jimin’s face. “I know I won’t.”

After that, they started dating, giving their attention to each other as much as possible. When school started, Taehyung and Jimin went to the same school but different classes. That didn’t stop them. After school they’d take their time to walk to the park then to the fields in the late afternoon and return home before the stars sprinkled across the sky. Sometimes they’d go to the park on weekends and relieve stress there for hours and talk about their days. Jimin found another way to relieve stress and they only did it when they needed it or when they wanted the other’s body on top of theirs. Other days they would work on homework and cheer up each other, sometimes they would sleep the hours away with arms wrapped around each other. Sometimes Taehyung would arrive with bruises from his mom and dad and Jimin would heal them with kisses, sometimes Taehyung would sleep on his lap, his chest, sometimes his shoulder and Jimin didn’t mind.

Before they knew it, it was August again and Jimin was running out of time give Taehyung the love he deserved. Jimin arrived in the flower field, earlier than Taehyung. The moment Taehyung arrives, Jimin feels rivers of tears strolling down his face and sees Taehyung running over to him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Jimin, why are you crying?”

“We’re going off to college Tae,” Jimin covered his face. “what if the feelings we have for each other now is gone? What if you find someone else?”

“Do you love me?” Taehyung started.

“You know the answer Tae, I love you a lot. I love you so much that I’ve gotten so selfish and want you stay where you are-”

“Then let’s break up.” Jimin looks at Taehyung, he was starting to cry too. Taehyung gulped, his throat feeling dry. “After the first year of college, we get our asses back here as soon as possible okay? And Jimin, I’m not the broken kid anymore, alright? Your heart is so kind and you are just so lovely. You’ve loved me so much last year and love me just as much as now,. Thank you. In return I’ll love you as much as you love me.” Taehyung held Jimin’s hands, kissing them gently. “We can be like Ruby and Sapphire, no matter how far apart we are, we’ll always find each other,”

Jimin laughs at his reference and kisses his forehead.

It was the end of August and they helped each other pack for their last day together. They didn’t say goodbye, they didn’t say anything after leaving each other. They didn’t even hug, hold hands or kiss. They didn’t at glance at each other but the day before, Jimin was the last to speak, “I love you a lot.” Taehyung’s only response was a smile.

After a struggling, long year of college Jimin arrives first at the field. He waited for hours and hours, hoping the worst didn’t happen to Taehyung. Every shuffling noise he heard in the trees and bushes, he jumped, hoping it was Taehyung but it was small creatures passing by. To pass time, Jimin sleeps in the dent Taehyung made since he slept there so many times. He was surprised it was still there after a year.

He stops sleeping when he feels tapping on his stomach. He slowly opens his eyes and sees the purplish, pink sky mixed with a bright yellow and orange. He looks to the corner of his eyes and see a boy with brown hair.

“How long have you been waiting?” A box smiled appeared in the boy’s face.

“Taehyung,” Jimin’s voice cracked.

He helps Jimin sit up and pulls his face close, kissing his quivering lips. “I missed you.”