"The thing is, I am Robin. And Batman. Though sadly, not as flexible."
"I am! I'm the first one. Dick."
"You're a dick?"
"Dick Grayson! The first Robin! Nightwing! And Batman, for a little while. Stupid reboot."
"If you say so, Stiles. Who am I, then?"
"Well, really? Seriously?"
"Seriously! You're Spider-Man! All with great power comes great responsibility and crap. And Derek's Wolverine, an' I'm pretty sure Jackson's the Hulk."
"I thought we were sticking to DC."
"Oh, you just wanna stick to DC, huh? Fine, we can do that. But I warn you, you're not gonna be a mainstream guy."
"I think I'll survive somehow."
"In that case, you. Scott. My man. You are the Blue Beetle."
"Jaime Rrrrreyes. The third one."
"The third what?"
"Blue Beetle, pay attention!"
"I am! So how am I this Jaime guy?"
"Well, he's kinda like Spider-Man? They both accidentally got bug powers, though his are actually from this alien scarab-shaped... whatever, you don't care about that. Point is, he didn't ask for his powers an' they're kinda hard to control at first? But once he does he's just this... really cool dude. Who goes off and saves the world sometimes, you know?"
"And you think I'm like that."
"Yeah, man. I mean, admittedly, when you didn't have control of your powers? Kinda terrifying. I'm not gonna lie, I feared for my life at times."
"But. Now that you're good? You're awesome. And totally superheroic."
"...thanks, Stiles. That means a lot."
"No problem man. Just make sure I look sober by the time we get home, alright?"
"So, what about Allison, is she that archer guy from The Avengers, or...?"
"Okay, first off? You said DC-only, The Avengers is a Marvel property. And second, no, she's not Hawkeye just 'cause they both shoot arrows. He's a carnie, ferchrissake. Or an assassin, if you're talking about Ultimate Hawkeye."
"Don't worry about it. Allison, though... hmm. I think she might be Batgirl."
"Batgirl? Didn't Batgirl and Robin..."
"What, no, I'm not - wrong Batgirl! Allison's not the first one - that's Lydia, with the hair and the brains and the... mm, yeah. What was I saying?"
"That Allison and Lydia are both Batgirl?"
"Right, right! Lydia's the first one, supergenius redhead Barbara Gordon, only without The Killing Joke happening to her, because nobody wants to see that happen, even if did give us Oracle."
"What are you talking about?"
"Uh, right, you don't - nevermind. So, Lydia's the first one, but Allison's the second. Her name's Cassandra Cain, and her parents are these crazy-ass superassassins, totally lethal killers and stuff. Yeah."
"Okay... I can kind of see where you're coming from with that."
"Right. And her dad's, you know, bringing her up in the superassassin way, as one does, but then she hears about this Batman guy, right? And she realizes she doesn't want to be a superassassin, she wants to save people! So she switches sides and defeats her parents - well, just her dad at first, she doesn't know who her mom is yet, but that's not - anyway, the point is, after that she becomes a hero for justice! Except for the whole One Year Later catastrophe, but we ignore that."
"Comics are complicated stuff, Scott. You'll just have to trust me on this one."