"Sverigeeeeeee!" A shrill cry rang throughout the home of a certain Dane.
It was just any other weekend, and with no better plans, Denmark decided to invite the other Nordic countries over for a little get-together. Because you know, the only canon pairing from Hetalia (with both people very much alive) had totally no plans (Blue flavored condoms, need I say more?)! But, being such a nice person, Tino just couldn't say no. Of course his beloved 'husband', came along too. And their 'son', his 'playmate' plus his 'brother', and to top it all off: the family dog.
So there they were, things going on as they usually did; Mathias hopelessly chasing after Niels, Peter and Raivis playing with Hanatamago and Mr. Puffin, Berwald and Erikur babysitting them. Meanwhile, Eduard showing our beloved Tino something on the computer when–
The shriek pierced through the air like a bullet and all eyes shot to the computer chair. There, they found a very distraught Finn facing the computer, expression torn between distressed and slightly insane.
It was Sweden who took the first move. He moved towards the smaller man slowly, slight hesitation in his step; when he got to his supposed 'target' he put a hand on the Finn's shoulder, "Y-Ya 'kay Tino?"
Said man tore his gaze from the computer to his eyes with an almost frenzied look; "S-Sve, y-you'r-re going to st-stay with m-me, right? Y-You're not going to leave me for Åland... Right? I-I m-mean I'm not as energetic as him, o-or flexible, for that matter, but I try dammit! And I must say, after all the shit I went through before, I have a pretty high pain tolerance!"
The other nations were starting to gather around, and Denmark gave Sweden a nudge and a suggestive wink, "Didnt know you were so kinky Su-Su!"
He shot a glare at the Dane before putting a hand on his 'wife's' shoulder, "'Course Tino, 've nev'r dreamed 'f bein' wit' 'nyone b' you... 'specially yer teenage cous'n. Wh't makes ya' think I would, 'nyway?"
Now it was Estonia's turn to talk; "Ah Mr. Sweden, I can explain that. I was surfing around the net when I encountered this. I thought showing it to Tino would've resulted in a laugh or two, and it did; but it seems that some of the entries that I didn't look a yet had a certain... Character that Tino didn't really like. If you would please read it?" he gestured to the screen.
Sweden turned to look at the image, as did the other four nations. It was just a comic strip with five panels separated by imaginary lines. It showed five chibis; four of which were holding rulers. The one who wasn't holding one looked suspiciously like Sweden though... Further reading revealed that the chibis were measuring their rock har- I mean erect dic- I mean... Penises. Their erect penises. Then, on the last panel was what could have been the only thing that upset Finland so much.
It was a new chibi (one could only assume it was Åland) with hearts, a blush, and was gazing at the Sweden chibi in a quite... Ahem way―
"And I think this one upset Tino quite a bit..." he clicked the 'next' button, and another comic showed up.
It showed two chibis (Sweden and Åland) that were just laying in bed looking at each other. It went on like that until the ninth panel, until the Åland Chibi started glaring at something. Turns out, the reason for that was on the tenth panel: It was the Finland chibi. The Åland chibi was immediately pissed, and started chasing the Fin chibi around with an axe. How nice.
"Tino, 's this why yer 'pset?" Sweden looked down at the computer chair, only to find that it was empty. He looked around frantically for his wife before finding said man on the couch, curled up in fetal position.
"Tino, 's jus' a comic. Doesn't mean a thing!" But inside, he knew that it wasn't true. The second comic was almost exactly what happened that one time years and years ago.
"Mr. Sweden... I doubt that will do a thing. I'm pretty sure you already know, but Tino is very, very touchy about things when it comes to Åland." He ruffled the neat blonde hair and Tino let out a pitiful whimper.
"Tino, 's there 'ny way I can prove it to ya that I'm not goin' 'nywhere? I'll to anythin'!" The so called 'Conqueror of the Baltic Sea' looked positively desperate!
Finland looked up meekly, "A-Anything?"
"Well, s'long as 's within reason... Yeah, I'd do anythin'!" Sweden pleaded, taking the Finn into his arms.
"Well..." he looked away, bashful, "There is something..."
"Umm..." but he wouldn't go a word further because the other nations had once again gathered around them, craning their necks for better sound...
"Would'ja guys mind yer own business?"
"Oh come on Su-Su! We're all brothers here, right?" Denmark interjected, "Pete, Rai, why don't you go play with Hana and Puffin? I think that this might get a little explicit..." he winked at Sweden again. "Just say it Tino! We won't judge... Right boys?"
The other three nations nodded fervently, because despite their usually neutral appearances, this was one subject they were very interested in.
"Umm..." Tino looked nervously from one face to another, fidgeting with his fingers, "S-Su-san... The thing is..." he looked away, not daring to look straight at his 'husband'; "D-Do you think I could maybe... Umm... (Do-you-think-I-could-maybe-top-tonight? Oh-actually-never-mind-what-I-just-said-its-really-weird-and-please-just-disregard-it!)" The brain dump poured out of his mouth, and while it took the group a little while to process what he had said, Sweden was used to these nervous outbursts. So he interpreted it normally, "'re ya sure Tino? 'ya wanna?"
"O-Only if you want to..." The smaller man blushed and looked down, still not wanting to look at anyone.
"Sure then, 'f 'ya really wanna..."
"'Kay then..." Sweden shifted, so that the Finn was on his lap, and lifted him up bridal style, "Eduard, mind helpin' 's with th' door?"
"Huh?" the Estonian was snapped out of the shocked state just in time to run over to the door and help the happy couple safely get outside.
"Tell 'em we'll pick up Peter t'morrow mornin'."
"Sure," he nodded and waved as the two got into their car, "have fun you two!" He winked as Berwald started the engine, and the two rode off to their own little cottage; far away from the others, and any other distractions.