Until morale improves the beating will continue

by toitsu

Summary:

Fill for a prompt (http://norsekink.livejournal.com/9985.html?thread=21460225#t21460225) (btw how do you manage links?) about Asgardians living forever and all the stress and little annoyances build up until a person explodes and goes rampaging around. So after 'Thor' when things are sort of normal, everyone is patting Loki's shoulder and comforting him with 'There there, that wasn't so bad, remember what happened when X/Y lost his/her shit?"

And Loki not being amused by the fact that what he did was not considered a memorable spectacle at least.

Notes:

title from the song 'Until morale improves the beating will continue' by Murder by Death

I took some myths and twisted them for crack purposes. I regret nothing.

I hope you enjoy.

"It's really not that bad", Volstagg says, patting his shoulder. "Remember that time when Hogun knocked down all those mountains in the east? Man, I've never seen a man so angry."

Loki replies with eloquent "Ugrh".

"The mountains put up a really good resistance."

*

"Come on, brother, this sulking is really excessive, even for you. No lasting harm was done, and we will fix everything else."

"Ngk."

"I know what will cheer you up! Remember that time Freya got in on with the dwarves and you couldn't buy a single armor for months because they were preoccupied?"

"…Shut up, Thor", but there was a light smile on Loki's lips.

*

"Really, Loki, you are overreacting."

"Go away, Sif."

"Remember that time you shaved my head and I razed part of palace to the ground trying to kill you?"

"In vivid detail."

"Those were the days", Sif smiles fondly, reminiscing, reaching out to ruffle Loki's hair.

*

"Loki, this is enough. Stop hidding in your chambers and…do you really plan to spend the rest of your life eating?" 

Every inch of the room is covered in plates so thoroughly emptied they looked almost clean, and in one corner was an ever-growing pile of bones.

"Planning…my…revenge…you will…never…look…down on me…again…a Jotun…monster" Loki said between mouthfuls. 

Odin sighed.

"My son, you were always the smartest of your brothers. Surely you see this is getting ridiculous."

"Go away." Swallows. Adds respectful "All-Father."

Odin sighs again, sits as close to Loki as he can, as surrounded with plates as Loki was, and grabs a chicken leg.

"Remember that time when Hod started throwing things at Balder and accidentaly killed him?"

Loki groans in annoyance.

*

"Loki", Frigga starts and Loki flinches. If she starts reminding him of old times and spectacles, he will throw himself of the Bifrost.

"My son", her tone is regal and cold. "What you've done was wrong and despicable. I never thought you would be capable of such acts. I am very disappointed in you. I raised you better than that. When have we ever said that genocide is the way to deal with issues?"

The look on Loki's face can be described as relief. Finally someone who recognises the weight of his deeds!

"We will sort this mess. You will sort this mess. It's only appropriate. Let it be a punishment to you. I hope you learn your lesson"

"…Thank you, All-Mother."

"Come now, let's take a walk. We have much to talk about."

They walk in silence for a while, and then she starts: "You don't remember this as you weren't born yet, but I remember that one time when Odin, your father-"

Loki starts slamming his head into the wall.

*

some decades later…

"It's not that bad, Thor",  Fandral says, eyeing the damage. "Remember that time Loki tried to destroy Jotunheim with Bifrost?"