It’s just a milkshake - Megan
She was just another secretary that he had fucked in his office. A good time, sure, but nothing to take notice of. And he was glad she wasn’t making a mess of things like Allison had. He was grateful to her for that and they worked well together because of it.
She had diligently tried to make arrangements for him to have help with his children during their upcoming trip to Disneyland . . . but it was obvious that no situation was ideal. He took another look at her. When his daughter Sally had gone sprawling in the office as she was trying to run away from him it was Megan who had picked her up off the floor and held her until she stopped crying. Perhaps she had a way with kids . . .
Don decided to invite her on his trip to Disneyland instead and offered to pay her double what she made as his secretary. In the back of his mind he was wondering if he could get more out of her on this trip as well – honestly he felt entitled to a little fun for himself. He gave her a dashing smile as he pitched the benefits to her. She smiled back and was easily won over.
“Please, stop the advertising,” she said and agreed to accompany him.
Don is propped up and reading on his hotel bed, his kids fast asleep in the other one. He puts down his beer and his book – he thought he had just heard Megan come back to her room. Maybe he could get some tonight - she had been more than willing before.
He quietly leaves his room and knocks on her door, giving her a lame pretense to gain entry.
She invites him out to her balcony and they make small talk but talk is not what he’s after tonight –he really only came here for one thing. It doesn’t take long before they are kissing. When she questions his better judgment he tells her, “I’ve been thinking about you so much,” and they continue. He knows exactly how to play this.
They stare at each other in bed the next morning, blinking in the bright light.
At one point she says to him, “I know that you have a good heart and I know that you’re always trying to be better.”
He wishes he was the man she is describing, but knows he is not.
“We all try. We don’t always make it,” he says. He feels the need to be honest with this naïve girl – to warn her. “I’ve done a lot of things.”
“I know who you are now.”
No, she really doesn’t. But he wishes someone did. He doesn’t know why it should matter so much, but he want this – whatever it is – to continue. He asks if he can visit her again like this the following night after the fireworks show at Disneyland. He is a bit unsure of his real motivations but comes clean and tells her, “I need to know. I don’t know why.”
Later that day they are all having lunch together in a diner near Disneyland. Megan is settled in comfortably with his kids. All seems to be going well until Sally and Bobby start to fight. She yells at him to shut up and lunges for him, knocking over her strawberry milkshake.
“Hey!” a startled Don exclaims loudly as he grabs for the glass.
The two kids look frightened – afraid that they will get in trouble with him - so conditioned they are to their mother’s anger. The looks on their faces make Don recall the time when he took his kids back to Ossining after a weekend spent at his apartment - a weekend where Sally had cut her own hair. When they arrived home, Betty had roughly pulled off the hat that Sally had been wearing and discovered her botched attempt at looking prettier. It had all happened so fast. Before Don could stop her, Betty’s hand raked across Sally’s gentle cheek, leaving a stinging burn in its wake. Don was livid. How could his ex-wife do this to his child? It was completely out of line and brought back painful memories from his own past. How had he not seen Betty’s capacity for cruelty before they married?
But now, as Don signals to the waiter for help he hears Megan say the most astonishing thing. She gently tells his kids, “Don’t be upset. It’s just a milkshake.”
And then she nonchalantly starts to clean up. He turns back to look at her and sees her in a whole new light. He feels the memory of his father’s blows – the whipping he would have received for such a transgression. And then Megan’s face swims into his vision – her presence rescuing him from his father’s imagined assault. The hurting child inside of him feels like he’s just gotten a reprieve from punishment – for the first time ever.
There is no anger, no fault - no one needs to be blamed or get upset. She is calm and kind.
That day changes his life forever.
They are back in New York. Megan is asleep in his bed. The kids are back at home with Betty.
She had always wanted him to “step up” and punish their kids. She firmly believed in spare the rod and spoil the child. But after the abuse he had suffered growing up, he just could not bring himself to do this - and she never understood. So she would mete out the punishment herself in his place.
Megan is different. He sees in her a kindness that he didn’t think existed. A kindness that he wants in his life. And he is willing to sacrifice to get it. He doesn’t love her, he barely knows her – but he wants to hold on to her - the only way he knows how.
He sits on the side of the bed holding Anna’s ring, waiting for her to wake up.
You’re good at all of it - Don
Don can’t believe how well everything is turning out. After their wedding Megan returned to the office with him - not as his secretary, but as part of his creative team. And he does not regret that decision.
He loves strutting into the office every morning, his wife by his side. He is so proud of showing her off and is still dismayed at how much he enjoys spending all day long with her. Unlike with Betty, he has no “other life” at work. Megan is a part of all aspects of his life – even the ones he kept hidden from Betty for all of those years. With Megan he has no shame.
Don thinks back to the evening before with Megan’s parents – which had been uncomfortable to say the least. Her father’s disapproval and jealousy of his wealth was obvious. And Megan had pointed out that her mother had kept touching him. Don said he didn’t notice just to keep the peace. But he had noticed.
Now he’s reclining on the couch in his office trying to learn French from a book and failing miserably at his task. He’s going through this exercise because he doesn’t like it when Megan and her family speak French in front of him, effectively leaving him out. Megan comes in and closes the door behind her, asking if he has a minute.
“Lock that door and ask Dawn to hold my calls and you can have five.”
“You pervert,” she teases him. “This is about work.”
Then she tells him about an idea she has for the upcoming Heinz pitch. She got the idea from dinner last night. He supposes something good did come out of that miserable time after all. And Megan’s idea is brilliant. He’s so excited about it he could kiss her right now.
“My God. Get over here,” he says, with a seductive light illuminating his eyes.
“No. I don’t want to change the subject.”
He instructs Dawn to call in the rest of the creative team so that they can flesh out Megan’ idea. In the brief time before they arrive she has a quick bout of insecurity. “They’re going to hate me – tell them it was your idea.”
Don knows she should not squander this opportunity to shine. “You don’t really want me to do that do you?”
“No,” she agrees and grins at him like a little girl who’s just made her father very proud.
He tries out a tag line as they wait.
Megan interrupts him. “How about Heinz baked beans – some things never change.”
“Jesus – I think that’s better.”
He never really appreciated how smart his wife was before, but now he realizes that she seems to really have a knack for advertising. Megan is proving time and again that she is cut out for this – that she hadn’t just been chosen to work for the creative team because she is married to Don Draper. There is more to her than anyone ever guessed – it’s just that Don caught a glimpse of it first.
“You know, you’re good at all of it,” he says as he breaks off his feverish kiss.
Don cannot believe it. Megan had single-handedly saved the Heinz account with her brilliance tonight. He wasn’t even sure if he could have pulled it off – and he considered himself somewhat of a master. Stunning. Absolutely stunning. He couldn’t help but stare in admiration of his wife at dinner tonight.
“Oh my God. I want you,” he breathes in the back seat of the cab they were taking home, his nose just inches from hers, lost in the depths of her green eyes. But his kids and her parents were waiting there. And this couldn‘t wait.
Change of plans. He told the cabbie to take them to the Time Life building, where their offices were.
They stumble into his office in the throes of passion, grasping at each other as he pushes her back into his desk, never even bothering to shut the door.
He breaks off their passionate kiss.
“You heard me. Do as I say.”
Megan grins coyly at him. “Or what, you’re going to fire me?”
“Something like that.”
He grasps her hips and turns her around to face the desk, leaning into her so that she can feel him getting hard beneath his dress pants.
He unbuckles his pants and then reaches to hike up her skirt.
He answers by silently pressing his hand to the small of her back, making her arch onto the desk. And then suddenly he is inside her. She lets out a quiet moan and through the reflection in the office windows he sees her eyes unfocus from the sheer pleasure of having him inside her.
He fucks her with vigor. He pulls her up by her hair, his lips finding her ear. He begins to quietly groan with each thrust, the scent of her hair intoxicating him with each intake of breath. As their coupling intensifies he reaches around to touch her, pressing lightly until he can feel her shake.
“Do you like that?” he grunts.
“Oh God . . . Yes,” she breathes.
Then he slowly withdraws, teasing her with just the tip of his cock at her entrance.
“Please . . . don’t do this to me.” She was so close.
“Megan, I want you to beg for it.”
“Oh God,” she groans in frustration but gives in to his demands. “Oh please, Don. Please fuck me.”
He thrusts up into her with force. And stays there.
She gulps. “More. Please. More.”
“Okay,” he says indulgently, suckling her ear and slowly bringing her to the brink once again.
“Harder,” she begs him.
But it is too late – she is too far gone – it doesn’t matter what he does – she goes over the edge anyway.
As he feels her convulse around him he renews his vigor. He thrusts deep inside of her at a quick pace until he follows her over the edge in a hot rush of liquid.
She lies panting, bent over the desk. He slowly withdraws, running his hand through her tangled hair and down to her lower back.
“Oh my God,” Megan pants as she slowly rises from the desk and stumbles a bit.
“Whoa. Steady there,” Don says as he catches her. “Was it good for you?”
“What do you think? I can barely walk.”
“I can help you,” he grins wolfishly, pulls away from her, and proceeds to take off his pants as she leans against the desk.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting undressed,” he says, nonplussed. “I suggest you do the same.”
“Really?” she cocks her head to the side and shakes it. “You are unbelievable.”
But then she grins and begins to take off her top. Once he is free of his clothes he begins to help her disrobe, sensually touching her in all the right places, brushing his naked body against her ever-exposed one.
He picks her up and lays her on the couch and then joins her at the other end, cradling her foot in his hand. He caresses it softly. As he examines all of the little lines on the sole of her foot and the shape of her toes he thinks about what had happened tonight and he realizes that he loves this woman. Finally. He is beginning to let himself feel satisfied, content.
He runs his nose down to the bottom of her foot and then slides his tongue back up. He takes one of her toes into his mouth and runs his tongue around it. She lets out an excited squeal while he grasps her inner thigh with his free hand, parting her legs.
Megan sighs. “Please touch me.”
“Don’t worry, I will,” Don says indulgently. This was for her now.
He puts the foot he had been suckling over his shoulder and leans in to nip at her breast. God, she was flexible. He slowly, achingly trails his fingers down her inner thigh and her breath catches in her throat when he gets close. The anticipation was killing her.
Two of his fingers slowly find passage into her moist depths. He easily finds the spot deep inside her where she loves to be caressed and he moves his fingers over it rhythmically. She grinds her hips down over his hand in pleasure and he tastes her nipple once again. She sharply sucks in a breath. It is time to send her over the edge again. He lowers his thumb to just the right place and presses, keeping the rhythm inside of her going.
The combination of internal and external stimulation is too much for her and she cries out with her release.
Don chuckles lightly, glad he can bring such pleasure to his wife. It makes him stir again and he is ready to make love to her now. He slowly settles himself in between her legs, waiting for her to recover from her high. He brushes away the sweaty tendril of hair that had fallen on her brow and gently rests his hand on her cheek and forehead, waiting for her to give him the okay.
Once Megan comes down from her intense high she gives him a nod – she is ready again. He slowly and ever so gently penetrates her - holding her gaze the entire time. She runs her hands up his back to the nape of his neck and pulls him in for a searing kiss as he begins to move inside her.
He’s slow and steady at first, letting her savor each thrust, but then he quickens the pace. She moans and throws her head back and he dives in to bite at her neck. She grasps him tightly – she cannot hold him close enough.
“Don . . . Don . . . I . . . “ she breathes.
“Yes?” he whispers his own breath hot against her ear.
“I want all of you.”
He pulls back a little to stare at her. Concern lines his face. Isn’t this what Betty had asked for all those years ago?
“You have me.” He gives her the same answer.
Megan looks disappointed, “No Don. You know what I mean.”
He smiles at her tenderly and says with all honesty, “You do have me Megan - all of me. I love you.”
He cups her face in his hand for reassurance stares at her with openness, hoping she can read in his eyes that he means what he says.
She nods and accepts this. “Good, because I love you, too. Too much.”
“There’s no such thing as too much,” he smiles.
“Yes there –“ she begins, but he ducks in quickly for a kiss.
“Too much talking,” he chastises and begins to move inside her again, not taking his time now, his passion boiling to the surface.
When he gets close, he rests his sweaty brow on top of hers, his breathing labored, praying for her satisfaction to come soon. Because he would like to take his – no, he needed to take his.
She does not disappoint. She roughly grabs his hips, pulling him deep inside of her, meeting his gaze head-on, and moans as wave after wave of intense pleasure courses through her.
Don doesn’t last as long as she does. She is still writhing below him as he comes to.
And he is still inside of her when she makes it back to reality.
He kisses her softly and smiles at her so fiercely that the corners of his green eyes crease into deep wrinkles. For the first time he can recall, he is truly happy.
The next day at the office he can’t stop thinking about his wife and tries to hide his involuntary smiling – which occurs at the most inopportune times. The whole creative teams knows now about how she saved the day with Heinz - Ken can’t stop bragging about it.
He is so incredibly proud of her. Beauty and brains – what a package! He has plans for the two of them. Big plans.
Sometimes we don’t get to choose where our talents lie – Don
She comes to him in the middle of the night when he is fast asleep. She wakes him with an urgency borne of guilt. When he is sufficiently alert Megan sighs and confesses, “I lied to you last night.”
And then proceeds to tell him about the audition she had gone to the night before, finishing with, “I feel really bad about lying to you.”
“You do that a lot?”
“No. Lie to me.”
Don lets go a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. For a minute there, he had been worried she had more to hide – that deceit had been creeping into their relationship – and not from him this time. He had been very good to Megan.
She in turn sighs heavily and tells him how much she misses acting – how she thinks she gave up on it too soon. As he listens to her rush of excitement at the possibility of chasing this dream he realizes that he needs to be the voice of reason.
“Sweetheart, sometimes we don’t get to choose where our talents lie.” He knows she cannot appreciate how good she is at advertising in this moment – so caught up in this flight of fancy. So in order to convince her of her real talents he confesses that it took him years to be able to think like she does. But. . .
“I felt better failing an audition than I did succeeding at Heinz. I don’t want to do it . . . I’m sorry”
Megan tells him that she’s worried if she doesn’t pursue this course of action now she’ll become bitter.
Just like Betty, Don thinks. He realizes that he doesn’t want to hold Megan back if it means she will turn out like her – he wouldn’t wish that on anyone. So he tells her he understands and that he doesn’t want to keep her from her dream, but his words fall flat in his mind. This is definitely not what he wants.
He feels guilty for putting her in a bad position at work – others may think she has only gotten where she has because of him and not because of her tremendous talent. It has had to have been hard on her . . . but for her to go off now chasing this elusive dream right as she’s making a name for herself? What a tragedy.
He tells her they can go into the office together tomorrow and that she can say her goodbyes and get started on her new life right away. After all, he thinks wryly, it must be some kind of emergency if she’s been driven to wake him in the middle of the night like this. He’s hoping that this is just a passing fancy and that she will realize all that she’s planning to throw away when she goes in to sever ties at work the next morning.
“You’re so good to me,” she says.
“It’s what you want.”
They tell each other that they love each other and she settles in with him for the night, her head resting on his shoulder. He stares off into the distance, worry creasing his brow, deep in thought. He knows this is not right for her or them. He’s worried about how this will change their lives.
As Don drifts off he is despondent, thinking about how much he’ll miss working with her in the office every day, and pulls her even closer to him.
Don is even more disheartened when he gets home the following night to find Megan making them dinner. He had witnessed just how painful it had been for her as she said her goodbyes to everyone and left the office at lunch time. He had really felt her absence for the rest of the afternoon. But now he puts on a good face for her, wanting to start off this new routine - this new life she is determined to live - on the right foot.
She smiles when she sees him and they kiss fondly. When he pulls away from her, she looks happy, content. When she gives him a little taste of what she’s cooking it burns his mouth. Damn she’s a terrible cook. He can’t help but think she really belongs at the office, not playing housewife to him.
Megan tells him, “I thought for sure you would come home drunk.”
He suddenly realizes that she understands how he really feels – his pretense just isn’t holding up. But he’s trying. For her.
“Megan, it’s okay.”
As he goes to fix himself a drink she gets his attention and says, “I love you. You’re everything I hoped you’d be.”
“You too,” he lies. She is already changing. He watches her sadly, barely able to keep his face from falling as she plays housewife in their kitchen, continuing to cook that awful meal - his drink all but forgotten.
She’s been pulling away from him for months . . . leaving his world. What they have is dying in slow painful steps as she walks away from him. He does not recognize her anymore – does not know her. But she is still kind, so he still tries.
And then she asks him . . .
She asks if he can help her out with her career. She wants to audition for a commercial that Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce is shooting for a footwear client.
“What!?” Don says. He’s quite surprised she’s even asking, but she hands him her reel. She is serious.
“I thought you hated advertising.” Over the course of the past few months this has become abundantly clear. Megan and all of her artist friends seem to despise what he does for a living. She has effectively dashed all of the dreams he fleetingly had for her – for them. He had aspired for them to be a dynamic duo in the world of advertising, a power couple, a juggernaut - unstoppable. He realizes how foolish he was to ever believe in the happiness he thought she could bring to his world. He feels like he never really knew her at all.
“I never said that.”
“But you certainly don’t think it’s art. And you’re an artist aren’t you?”
“Are you mad at me?”
“I’m just surprised.”
Why does she want his help now? She’s not a struggling artist, like her friends. He provides for her. “You get money – you don’t need that.”
Don even tells her that it would put him in a very bad position with the client to ask for this favor. What he does not say is that the client would feel pressured into casting her, and that this would be highly unprofessional. But Don suspects that this is what Megan is really after anyway.
“Do you know how hard it was for me to even ask you?” she whines.
He looks at her dumbfounded and then their phone starts ringing, distracting him.
He sighs, then tries to explain why this is a bad idea for her. “Look, you don’t want it this way. You want to be somebody’s discovery – not somebody’s wife.”
Megan nods and looks away, dejected. She mumbles, “You’re right. I know you’re right.”
He answers phone – it’s for her mother.
“Megan, you know I would if I could.”
“Of course.” She tells him that she’s going to take a bath, but he suspects that it’s just a way to excuse herself from this painful conversion. She leaves Don alone on the bed and enters the bathroom quietly.
He thinks he hears her crying in there, but cannot be sure.
Megan crawls into bed beside him and sleeps with her back to him all night. He again wonders if she is crying but can’t tell – she is just so unusually quiet. He doesn’t know what he can do to make her feel better so he keeps to himself.
Don comes home the following evening to find Megan extremely intoxicated. She looks like she hasn’t even been out of her robe all day long.
He picks her up after she stumbles in their living room and takes her to their bed. As he’s laying her down she screeches at him, “This is what you want, isn’t it? For me to be waiting for you? It’s why you won’t give me a chance.”
“That’s not true.”
She starts crying and tells him if he doesn’t want her to be kept at home all day waiting for him then he must not believe in her talents. Neither is true.
“You’re really drunk. Sleep it off,” he says and leaves her there. He can’t reason with her like this.
He runs into her mother in the living room and he is furious. She must have just returned. “How could you leave her like that? Drunk out of her mind.”
“She’s married to you. That’s your job.”
He had to work at the office today – he couldn’t attend to this – he didn’t even know she was falling apart. But Marie had been here with her and apparently had better things to do than console her own daughter. He is pissed.
“I know it’s hard to watch, but this is what happens when you have the artistic temperament but you are not an artist,” Marie tells him glibly. “Take my advice – nurse her through this defeat – then you will have the life you desire.”
The life he desires is never coming back.
They had originally been discussing Peggy’s career when Don had an epiphany. He turned to Peggy and said, “That’s what happens when you help someone. They succeed and move on.”
“Don’t you want them to?” she answered.
“I just didn’t know it would be without me,” he said sadly, knowing he was no longer talking about losing Peggy to the competition.
This conversation plays over and over in his mind as he watches Megan’s reel. He sees her smiling into the camera. His wife is very beautiful. She seems very happy doing this – it is clear that this is what she wants. If he helps her out, will his act of generosity deepen their bond?
Now Megan is trying on more serious, melancholy looks for the camera. Instinctively he knows it won’t. It will most likely push her further away into this other world she is dying to inhabit. Without him. He returns her serious look as the reel ends.
Does he love her enough to let her go?
Don is smiling indulgently at Megan – on the outside he looks like he’s happy to be doing this for her.
“I can’t believe this is happening. You know I love you,” she gushes.
She goes in for the kiss but turns her cheek to him at the last minute. Then she leaves to have the final touches put on her make-up under the hot glow of the stage lights. The shooting for the commercial is about ready to start.
He stares at her – knowing he is apart from her world. She is gone.
He turns around and leaves the soundstage, each step echoing in the distance between them.