Cara reached for the knob of the convenience store washroom as there was no way in hell she was going to do this test in her own room back the Tower. There was too much of a chance it would be found and she’d rather no one else knew, period.
It hadn’t occurred to her that this could have happened to her when she woke up and emptied her stomach in her bathroom toilet and she’d realized that she hadn’t had her period did the most awkward thought make itself known in her mind, but she had brushed the idea aside until she upchucking her dinner and then it didn’t seem like such an insane idea. It was at least worth checking to make sure.
And now as she stood waiting for the result, Cara felt her thoughts whirl and that alone brought a new wave of nausea over her. She hadn’t left early, but no one would notice her absence as the others besides ‘Tasha were alright with avoiding her as she never went out of her way to be particularly close with any of them either.
The woman figured it was probably being forced to associate with new people that had her so antsy, but she wouldn’t rule out her aversion to men as another problem.
Cara took a deep breath as she stared down at the box and the test, her fingers going slack as she the confirmation and both the test and box fell from her fingers to the floor as she slid down the door, her ugly childhood rearing its head and the doubtful thoughts of her as parent material. She paused to look at her current actions and sneered.
Why was she starting to freak out? She’d faced bigger things than this and if she could handle that, then she could handle this.
She just needed to go about this as her survival instincts indicated she do. One; she’d have to find a way to move back into her apartment without being too suspicious about it ‘cause there was no way that Stark Tower was safe for her now, might as well paint a big red target on it and ask for it to be attacked, so that was definitely out.
Two; after that certain point she’d have to get out of SHIELD duty, saying she was going to use her ‘vacation time’ would work and while yes they did have maternity leave, she very well wasn’t going to say that as the reason; too many questions would be asked, ones about the conception that made her feel uncomfortable and would continue to avoid thinking about for the time being until she was actually ready to deal with it.
Three; she’d need to see a doctor and had to book an appointment. Cara’s face scrunched in distaste as she really did detest having to be in any medical facility more than needed. It’s not like she had any idea about what to do though. Hell, it hadn’t even occurred to her that she was pregnant until she started throwing up and not when she failed to realize that she was late.
Four; she needed to find some books or something about what to expect or the doctor to recommend. She tossed the idea of using a computer out because the history could be brought up even if she did erase it and with only two women on the Avenger Initiative, it would have been a very awkward thing to have been found out.
With most of her bases covered, Cara Barton picked herself up, tossed the evidence and headed out of the store.
Cara decided she needed to book a damn appointment fast .
She barely made it to the kitchen to see if she could handle eating something when the smell of something being fried hit her nose and stirred up the bought of nausea from before that sent her running to the nearest washroom and hurling into the toilet.
The blonde rinsed out her mouth and leaned on the sink as she wiped the sweat forming on her brow off and took out her cell and dialed the doctor’s office, figuring that this was the best place to do this as there were no cameras in the bathrooms, or the bedrooms, but you couldn’t be too careful. “Hello, could I make an appointment for as soon as possible?”
“Yes, there’s an opening for Tuesday at 3, is that suitable?”
“3? Sure, oh, and uh, this is because I’m,” Cara practically whispered the next word, “pregnant, and not because I’m sick, though there’s not much of a difference.”
“Ah.” The person on the other line said in understanding. “I see, we’ll see you at 3 then.”
“Thank you.” Cara blurted before ending the call and peered out of the washroom to make sure her little barffest hadn’t attracted any unwanted attention. Her stomach made her decide to forgo eating for the moment and went straight for her room.
Just after shutting the door behind her, Cara sat down on the bed and calmed herself. She knew that even though she wanted to, she couldn’t just up and leave right this moment as it was too early to even tell and when she got the work done at the doctor’s she’d be able to find out exactly how far along she was, though she already had a strong possibility of when it happened…but that wasn’t something she wanted to think about right now.
But since she’d have to wait to leave it meant Cara would have to bring her books here. Damn it, this was all so complicated. Well, a little voice in the back of her mind said, you could just tell them.
True, she could, but she had no idea how they’d react and she didn’t want to take the unnecessary risk. Mostly because she didn’t want to answer the most obvious questioned they would eventually ask. Not how this happened, but with who.
Cara got off her bed and began to pace around her room aimlessly as her doubt began to settle in again. How could she be a parent? She had no idea what to do, her parents were dead and her brother wasn’t even an option.
She looked over at her reflection in the full-length mirror and studied herself briefly before grabbing one of the pillows on her bed and stuffed it under her jacket and placed her hands over it as she turned to her side and examined herself again.
Shoulder-length blonde hair scraped back into a ponytail, dark blue eyes, and despite the pillow giving the illusion of weight gain, her body was tight and had some muscle. She wasn’t vain and placed little importance on physical appearance, so she couldn’t understand how this had happened in the first place.
“What are you doing?”
Cara jumped and looked over at the now open door where Natasha was leaning in the doorway. “What do you mean?” she asked pulling the pillow casually out of her jacket and tossing it back on her bed.
“You just put a pillow under your jacket,” Natasha sounded out slowly, “now what are you up to?”
“I’m not up to anything.” Cara replied calmly. “I was just…” she trailed off and really couldn’t come up with anything other than the truth. “I was just seeing how I’d look like pregnant.” She said bluntly.
Natasha raised a brow, the only indication that this was clearly not the answer she was expecting. “And what did you see?”
Cara knew that the woman was just humoring her as she assumed that the blonde was probably just thinking about having a baby and not actually going to have one. “What I always see, me.” She said shrugging and glanced back at the mirror, the stark contrast between the two of them made her stomach churn and stopped her line of thought before they could turn dark, but they seeped in anyway.
Men had always overlooked Cara, especially when they saw the redheaded woman instead, and honestly, the blonde had never actually minded; it just hurt, and she wished at least once a guy would take some interest in her.
Well, she got what she wanted suffice to say.
The sound of the alarm rang through the Tower and Cara wanted to curse.