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Herding Cats

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"I know! We could fill his room with snakes!"

"But where would we get them?"

Skywarp rested his chin on his hands and frowned in deep thought. "We could steal them from a zoo." Skywarp liked the zoo; sometimes they would go to the one Portland just to tip the elephants over onto their backs.

"It would take a lot of snakes from a lot of zoos to fill up Soundwave's whole quarters."

The two Seekers were currently leaning on the wall outside the door to the Communication Officer's room, figuring out a plan of action. Soundwave had a bigger room than anyone except Megatron himself, something that Starscream never got tired of whining about. Thundercracker thought it was pretty unfair, too. Even if Soundwave did technically share with his cassettes, it wasn't like they took up any space.

"Point. Popcorn instead?"

"We did that already." In several million years of pranking, they had done everything already, but relocating to Earth had at least given them new materials to work with. Megatron had made them help Starscream clean all the popcorn out of his quarters, but it had been completely worth it for the look on the Air Commander's face.

"Oh, yeah. I know, we could put sand in his oil tank!"

"How? Even if he was recharging, his cassettes are always hanging around."

This was what made pranking Soundwave so difficult. But fun though tormenting Starscream was, they needed to change up their targets sometimes to stay unpredictable. Thundercracker knew that they would come up with something eventually; it was just a question of working the cassettes into their plan somehow.

"I know, we could -"

Skywarp was cut off by a blood curdling scream from inside Soundwave's quarters. The door slid open, and a gleaming wet Ravage shot out. He was followed by Rumble, who was also damp and had several deep claw marks in his chassis.

"Get back here you piece of slag!" Rumble shouted. "I'm going to fragging rip you to pieces!"

"NEGATIVE," Soundwave said, racing after Rumble. "RAVAGE, YOU WILL RETURN AND COMPLETE YOUR BATH." He was wielding a chamois like it was a dangerous weapon. "LAZERBEAK: PURSUE AND RECAPTURE."

The bird leaped out of Soundwave's chest and took off after the fleeing Ravage. Thundercracker and Skywarp watched in silence as the whole parade turned a corner in the corridor and disappeared, leaving a trail of suds behind them.

"You know," said Thundercracker. "I think that was more entertaining than anything we could have come up with."

"Wanna go sit on the Sears Tower and throw grenades at people instead?"

Thundercracker grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."