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Bang (or 5 times Darcy Lewis shot someone, and 1 time she didn't)

Chapter Text

She'd only been the official Avengers babysitter for a month when she'd been forced to move in to the tower. Well, forced is a bit too strong of a word. It was more so that Iron Man had been tossed through her apartment building in Harlem by some super powered, pissed off ex of Thor's. So the legendary Pepper Potts and Coulson had tag teamed to guilt Stark into letting her move in, at least until the repairs to the building could be made. On the upside the move had given her twenty-four hour access to a shooting range, which was doing wonders for her sexual frustration. A horny Darcy was an uber attentive Darcy, which meant not only did her work place productivity shoot through the roof but she started looking for other outlets for her frustration. Shooting things let off some of the pressure but also kept some of her skills honed to where they needed to be. Some people, namely her parents, might be a little surprised about how well she knew her way around a fire arm, but come on, like Coulson wouldn't mandate that his secretary be as deadly and unassuming as possible. Not to mention with the hand-to-hand training from the Black Widow herself she was well on her way to being a complete BAMPH. Just in time for her boy to get back from his business trip.

 

Great, just what she needed, more perverted fantasies running through her head. Taking a deep breath she squeezed off two more rounds, emptying her last clip. “Miss Lewis?” JARVIS' voice rang out through the range.

 

Taking off her earmuffs, and extracting her empty magazine she glance up. “Yea, JARVIS. What's up?”

 

“There appears to be a situation forming in the main living room, Miss. I would suggest your presence be made known as expeditiously as possible.” he supplied.

 

“Great.” she mumbled to herself, loading another magazine before flipping the safety and sliding it into her holster. “ETA five minutes JARVIS. Can you keep everyone alive till then?”

 

“Affirmative, Miss Lewis.” followed her out the door.

 

The elevator ride up from the basement seemed to take forever, but finally the door dinged, opening up to the penthouse. Standing in the middle of the living room the Avengers had assembled, each poised and ready to move in a matter of seconds. Doing a quick head count Darcy counted one extra, and is SHIELD had neglected to tell her Banner was returning to New York, heads were going to roll. Zoning in she caught a glimpse of the mysterious sixth. Clad in red and black and wearing a ski mask, thing, whoever it was looked like a reject from a bad haunted house. Stepping out of the elevator she caught some of what was being said.

 

“Aw, come on! I'm totally superhero material! I have a costume!” Darcy's eyes narrowed as that voice registered. Oh, that psychotic, self absorbed son of a bitch! Taking assessment of wheere everyone else was standing her gun was in her hand in a second, a loud bang echoing throughout the room.

 

It should saw something about the mental stability of everyone involved when nobody jumped, they all just turned simultaneously to stare at her, completely ignoring the man melodramatically wailing on the floor as he held his leg. Rolling her eyes she clicked the safety and re-holstered her gun. Walking forward she crossed her arms, pocking the injured man in the side with her booted foot. When he looked up at her she lifted a brow. “Long time no see, Deadpool.”

 

He stared, or she assumed so since she couldn't see his eyes behind the mask. Finally he let go of his no longer bleeding leg, snapping his fingers. “Reno!” he cried, almost happily. Leaning back on his palms he looked her up and down. “How you been?”

 

Not budging a muscle she continued to glare him down. “Oh, not that bad.” she waved a hand dismissively, seemingly being nonchalant but really wanting to indicate to the others in the room that she had it handled, for now at least. “You know, compared to the being drugged, having my car stolen and left for dead in the middle of a desert.”

 

He nodded along, still not looking phased by anything that had just happened. “Glad to see you made it out of that one alive. Where's the boyfriend?”

 

Gritting her teeth Darcy swallowed hard, trying to keep her face neutral. “Lucky for you not here.” she responded.

 

Shrugging his shoulders he sighed. “He's not still angry about that is he?”

 

Darcy met him with a shrug of her own. “Define 'angry'.” Crouching down she grabbed the top of his mask, ignoring his protests, and pulled it off. “If by angry you mean you're likely to end up on a milk carton, then yea, still a little angry.”

 

The man just shook out his blond hair and rolled his eyes. “That was barely an explosion!”

 

Standing Darcy took in the mask up close before scoffing. “Your business here is done, Wade.”

 

He pouted, “But I was going to become an Avenger!”

 

Tossing him his mask and pulling out her gun again she whistled. “Up. I owed you a bullet, and it was a very nice early birthday gift, but get out.”

 

He sulked a minute before donning his mask. “You know, your boyfriend would have been up for the game.”

 

Rolling her eyes again she pointed the gun square in his face. “For the last time, Logan isn't my boyfriend. There's a weather witch in New England that would have my metaphorical balls over that.”

 

Wade just shook his head. “Not him! The other one.”

 

Frowning Darcy have him a look that clearly said 'are you going more crazy then normal'. “What other one?”

 

Deadpool just gave a big sigh, shrugging. “Your boyfriend/not boyfriend.”

 

“I honestly have no idea who your talking about.” she answered, exasperated. Not that exasperation was a surprise with this man around.

 

“Nether do the people reading this.” he responded cheekily.

 

Cocking her gun she glared him down. “That's it, one bullet wasn't enough.” Before she could fire he pivoted, taking off at a sprint and dived over the balcony. “Drama queen.” she muttered to herself. Pulling out her phone she punched in the numbers from memory, slipping her gun back into it's holster. “Hey, it's Lewis. Deadpool's in town.” She made a series of affirmative noises, walking passed all of them towards the kitchen.

 

“Is it just me,” Clint spoke up, looking at them all like he was the crazy one. “Or were we just completely ignored during all of that.”

 

“Yes.” Natasha answered, crossing her arms.

 

Tony shrugged, slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “What ya gonna do about it?” Turning his head to the side he meet Steve's gaze. “Wanna go have sex?”

 

“God yes.” the super soldier responded, grabbing the other man's arm and dragging him out of the room. Watching them go Clint and Natasha caught each others eyes, both shrugging before exiting the room.

 

Glancing around at the now empty space surrounding him, Thor scratched his head. “Midgardians are very strange.”

 

 

Chapter Text

Tony Stark has a habit of pissing people off. Sadly he also has a habit of making a situation worse. Case in point. Justin Hammer ended up doing twenty-four months of his thirteen year prison sentence for the whole Vanko thing, which ok, Darcy could applaud beating the system, she can't count how many tickets she's gotten out of over the years with a little well placed cleavage, and the right makeup. The problem came when he decided to go into a 'life of crime'. She had to snort at that. She knew pot dealers in BFE Arkansas that had more together operations then this. Namely, what ever thug Hammer had on the payroll was supposed to grab Pepper Potts, good luck with that one , and had somehow nabbed poor unsuspecting Darcy instead.

 

Seriously, did she look like an amazon, ginger, toothpick? The resounding answer would be no. On top of all of that Hammer had no idea who she was, and had proceeded to spill his 'master plan' on how he was going to destroy Stark by killing his lady love. Which, ok, might have worked with Pepper since a strong hurricane wind could probably do her in, but nobody seems to have told Hammer that Stark's new lady love was a six-four blond with killer baby blues, and threw around a disc of indestructible medal for shits and giggles. Oh, and you know, he's a guy.

 

Chained up in what basically equated as a utility closet Darcy stretched her back trying to reach to bobby pin she kept tucked away for just this type of occasion. Well, actually she'd learned after the third time Natasha jumped her and handcuffed her to the old radiator near the range. It only took her five more time to figure out how to use it. Digging the bobby pin from her hair tie she started to work on the handcuff lock. Really these guys needed to learn, rope and zip-ties were the way to go, at least then she would really have to work to get at the razor blade hidden in her back pocket. Finally getting out of the cuffs she started looking through the boxes for anything that would help get her out of here. Reaching into the first box her fingers wrapped around something cool and metal. Frowning she held on tight and pulled out... a Beretta? Looking at the gun then the rest of the boxes she started opening them. By the forth she honestly couldn't believe it. What kind of moron locked the hostage in a munitions closet? Shaking her head she started picking out what she could use.

 

The hallway outside the, surprise, surprise, unlocked door was empty. Either this guy really had no idea what he was doing or he really thought she wasn't a threat at all. Rolling her eyes she made her way to the end of the hall. Come on, like she could work for, and with the people she did for as long as she had without picking up a thing or forty.

 

She managed to find the main hub of operations, a computer room with two techies. Sneaking up behind them wasn't that big of a deal. “Don't move.” she ordered, cocking both guns simultaneously, pressing them a bit into the neck of each man. To their credit they did as told. “Now, download anything and everything on to a flash drive for me.” The one of the right twitched just a bit. “And don't think about hitting the panic button, I like this shirt.” Which was true, she'd just bought it earlier that day on her shopping trip with Pepper and Natasha. “And please hurry up, I have a nail appointment in thirty minutes.” Both held up flash drives a minute later. “Thank you.” Was the last thing they heard before she hit both in the back of the head. Pocketing the drives it wasn't that hard to kill both computers in a few seconds. It's amazing what can be accomplished with an incorrect command prompt. She should know, it's how she sent three laptops to the grave in college.

 

Now came the tricky part. She vaguely knew the outlay of the building from when they'd brought her in, but getting out without getting caught was probably going to take some time, which she wasn't one hundred percent sure she had. She knew to count herself lucky that she'd gotten this far but she didn't know the type of security that the rest of the building had. She'd mad it towards the office where they had 'interrogated' her when she heard at explosion. Then three more shook the building. Running down the hall towards the noise she ducked into an office. “Oh, god, get me out of here!” Greeted her once she was in.

 

Turning she saw Hammer talking on his cell. “Put the phone down.” She ordered, pointing a gun at him. He stared at her for a minute before talking even more hysterically into it. “Down.” was punctuated by the clicking of the bullet entering the chamber. That seemed to do the trick. She really had no idea why people found that so frightening, you didn't actually have to cock a gun to fire it, it was just an intimidation tactic. “Now, step around the desk and don't do anything stupid.”

 

He followed her order, stepping slowly around the desk, eyes darting every which way. He was legit twitching by the time he came to a stop in front of her. “Ok then, you are going to tell me how I get out of this building.” Another explosion rattled the windows, Hammer nervously looking around. She really hoped that was SHIELD blowing shit up, but at this point her luck was only fifty-fifty so she knew she had to have a back up plan, or a hostage. At the moment she had both so there was a chance she was going to limp away from this.

 

Shouting rang out in the hall outside the door, leaving Darcy feeling a little pressured. “Now, now would be a good time for those directions!” she said forcefully, trying to keep her hand steady. It wouldn't do her any good to get nervous now, being nervous made you make mistakes. That was one of the first things Natasha had taught her, hell it's what all of them had taught her. Fake it till you make it, was pretty much the Avengers creed. Hammer, having heard the shouts, just smirked at her. Ok, so apparently the guys outside were his, damn.

 

“My men will be here in a matter of minutes.” he gloated. “Not to mention nobody can get passed my tech.” So apparently on top of being horrible at being a villain, he was also bad a humility. Go figure. Still, he had a fifty-fifty chance of being right on the first part.

 

Even with that in mind she wasn't about ready to back down. “Really?” she scoffed, pouring all of her other emotions into tearing him down a peg or two. “From what I hear compared to Stark Tech your work looks like the kind of stuff a stoned out teenager would build in their mom's basement.” That seemed to get his anger up. Good, maybe she could get him to fuck up somehow and then take advantage of it.

 

“What would you know?” he sneered. “You're a secretary.” Oh, so the big bad supervillain wanted to take cheap shots, ok she was game.

 

“The term you are looking for is administrator.” She drew out the last word like she was saying it to a child. “Now, enough of that. You are telling me how to get the fuck out of here.” Hammer just crossed his arms and looked at her, though she noticed his eyes zone in on her gun. “Fair enough. Right or left?”

 

“What?” he looked at her like she was crazy, which was ok, she knew she was. You don't get where she was today by not being a little bit insane.

 

Giving a little put upon sigh she jiggled the gun. “Right.” she said slowly, pointing the gun to his right foot. “Or left.” She pointed to his left foot and raised an eyebrow. That seemed to do away with an bravado.

 

“You can't shoot me!” He shouted, eyes going wide.

 

“Why?” she asked, crinkly her brow together in a look of honest confusion.

 

“Because, because!” he stuttered. “I'm a supervillain!”

 

Darcy just tisked. “Oh honey, I've shot bigger fish then you. In both pounds.” She shrugged a little. “Hell, I've shot a god before. So shooting you? Not that big a deal.” Before she could follow through on her threats the entire room shook from yet another explosion, sending Darcy slightly off balance. Hammer seemed to think this was the perfect opportunity to run, even though she was stand in front of the only exit. He got maybe half a step forward when she pulled the trigger, grazing his right arm.

 

“You shot me!” he screamed, dropping to the floor and holding his arm like he was dying. At that moment a ceiling panel dropped right next to Darcy, followed by a familiar red head.

 

“You're late.” Darcy said, not taking her eyes off of the mewling man on the floor.

 

“Traffic.” the other woman supplied with a shrug.

 

Darcy just nodded and grabbed the bowie knife from it's holster, holding it up in offer. “Got you a present.”

 

Natasha just grabbed, tossing it between her hands. “Weights not as good.” she critiqued before sliding it into her empty thigh holster.

 

Darcy just shrugged again. “Well, it was a steal, so you can't expect the same quality.”

 

Finally seeming to realize he wasn't in fact dying Hammer looked up at them, wide eyed and slacked jawed. “You two are fucking insane!” They shared a look then shrugged.   

Chapter Text

 

A lot of people thought Darcy Lewis had never held a gun before she'd joined SHIELD. Those people would be wrong, though not by much. Darcy had held and fired a gun exactly twice in her life before her firearms training course. The first time, while not as memorable as the second, did give her a funny story to tell at parties. Well, the type of parties she went to now.

 

It happened because her Nana had a stroke the summer Darcy turned fifteen. Since her branch of the Lewis family was living out of motel rooms and a VW van at the time her parents didn't see any reason not to pick up and head to Arkansas for the rest of the summer. Now Darcy loved her Nana, so seeing her normally wouldn't have been a problem, except for the fact that she was already being forced to spend the summer away from the commune, and more specifically Jacob Weston, the boring as mud high school student she'd decided she was infatuated with.

 

Needless to say she wasn't exactly a happy camper when they pulled up outside of her Nana's large farm house. On top of that though, the rest of her Dad's family, most of which never left the piss ant town the Lewis' had called home for over eighty years, had also decided to crowd around her. Darcy thought they were all acting a little like buzzards, even though her Nana was no where need dead. At the time Darcy thought death would have to basically tie and gag her to get her.

 

Still, at least she had about twenty acres of farm land, woods, and a pound to keep her occupied. Which would have been fine if her mother hadn't insisted she spend more time with her cousins. All six of them. The only one she could stand was Clem, who sadly was abroad doing some kind of study program in the Mediterranean. Which left her with the rest and no buffer to speak of.

 

“Prudence!” she heard someone shout from the front yard making her wince. She hated that name with a passion, there was a reason she went by Darcy for Christsake.

 

“What do you want, Carolina.” she seethed, glaring over her copy of the 'Great Gatsby'. Nothing was ever going to make her like the book, but even then she would rather spend the next ten years reading nothing but it then spend the next ten minutes in the company of Carolina “Call me Carry!*giggle*” Lewis. It wasn't just her vapid, shallow personality, or the blond hair, or the way she gushed over the opposite sex like that was her purpose in life. It was all of it wrapped together in one five-eleven, sixteen year old package.

 

Carolina skipped up the steps and then wrinkled her nose when she saw Darcy's book. “You're not going to spend all day reading are you?” The way she said it, it was almost like she thought reading was some kind on incurable, communicable disease. For all Darcy knew maybe she did. Darcy just shrugged. She'd actually thought about spending some of the afternoon up in Nana's room talking to her. Nana always had the most interesting stories about World War two, not as interesting as Gran's sometimes, but that was just because Nana had been state side for most of it. Gran had survived the Blitzkrieg. Sighing Carolina grabbed her arm. “Come on!” With out any preamble she started to drag her off of the porch.

 

“Do I even get to know where we're going?” she asked, trying to pull her arm back to no avail.

 

Carolina just looked back at her and rolled her eyes. “Tommy has something cool.” was all she said before she turned her eyes back ahead of her and pulled harder.

 

Tommy was the oldest beating out Clem by a few months, and Darcy thought that it was a little lame that on top of dropping out of high school when he was her age, he still lived at home when he was pressing twenty. Darcy planed on going to college, like Clem had. More then that she wanted to do something with her life, like her parents had, though probably with less aimless wondering, and fewer acid trips.

 

Still, she was expecting more then a few pot plants when she was pulled into the dingy shed out near the barn. Maybe it was a big deal here, but the commune grew the stuff to sell to medical distributes every year. They'd been doing it since the initiative passed four years ago. Hell, when they were there she spent her extra time helping out in the green houses, mostly because botany counted as a science credit, and she hated taking nature walks with Jenny.

 

Carolina tugged her arm again, pulling her forward. “Come on!” she hissed. Rolling her eyes Darcy looked to see what they were doing. Along with Carolina and Tommy Darcy noticed Penny, Xand, and Nicky. 'Gangs all here' she mentally scoffed as she watched Tommy pull out what looked like a hand rolled cigarette and light it. As soon as the smell hit her she crinkled her nose. She hated the smell of weed, and bad enough from the smell of it they weren't partaking of the good stuff either.

 

She shook her head when Carolina went to pass it to her, which earned her a sharp jab in the ribs. Peer pressure at its finest, ladies and gents. Rolling her eyes she grabbed the joint, taking a deep inhale before passing it to Penny. Taking a second breath to pull in the smoke deeper she watched while the youngest two hacked their way through their first puff. Exhaling slowly she turned up her nose. Nope, definitely not the good stuff. Jack, her Dad's roadie, always kept the stuff on him and it was by far better then this stuff.

 

They passed it around till it was spent, Tommy pulling out another and lighting it up. Apparently nobody ever told him the first rule of business, never touch your own stash. When she told him as much he just looked at her. “How would you know, Prue?” Rolling her eyes she just took another hit, fine, he didn't have to listen to her, and when his profit margins showed it he couldn't say she didn't warn him.

 

She noticed the gun when a giggling Penny knocked into a plant. “Should you really have a gun?” she straight up asked, raising a brow.

 

Tommy scoffed. “It's not loaded you big baby.” Fueled partly by the weed, and partly out of seeing his reaction she picked it up. “Jezzuz, Prue! Put it down!”

 

She'd never actually seen a gun in person before, her parents being the peace loving hippies that they were. Looking at it up close she found she wasn't completely freaked out by holding it, in fact the weight of it felt kinda... good. “If it's not loaded, why do you have it?” she asked, giving him a 'bitch please' look. To prove a point she lifted it and aimed at her.

 

“I said put the Goddamn thing down, Prue!” he shouted, causing Carolina to dissolve into giggles and fall against Xand's side.

 

Rolling her eyes Darcy lowered the gun. “Now who's being a baby.” Feeling satisfied with herself she pointed the gun towards the ground, not paying attention to her finger on the trigger. That is till the loud bang reverbarated off the wall and a deep throbbing pain ran up her leg. Slamming the gun down on the table she grabbed the bottom of her shin, eyes shooting up to a dumbstruck Tommy. “You said it wasn't fucking loaded!”

 

“I lied!” he screamed back, eyes darting around trying to figure out what to do. The others just stared wide eyed at them and it looked like Penny was about to burst into tears. Why was she crying? Darcy was the one with a fucking bullet in her leg right now. “Jezzez. Oh fuck. What are we going to do?”

 

Darcy just glared at him. “Give me your fucking tee shirt and go get fucking help!” Listening for once he ripped the shirt off his back before running out the door. With shaking hands Darcy tried ti rip off strips. Growling she glared at Xand and tossed over the shirt. “I need about five strips of cloth, and then you are dragging my ass out of here because I may hate his ass, but I'm not gunna be the reason Tommy goes to jail this year.” Xand listened for once, his own hands shaking as he did what she said. “Carolina, I need you to put pressure on this while I wrap it.” She just nodded, pressing her hands lightly on the wound. “Harder, your trying to keep the blood in, dumbass!”

 

How she managed to tie the tourniquet with out passing out she wouldn't remember later, the point was that she did. The last thing she remembered before waking up in the hospital was gripping on to somebody's shoulders as they drug her out of there.

 

She woke up to the stern faces of her parents, looking more concerned then angry. “Well, what did you learn?” her Dad asked, crossing his arms.

 

“Never believe somebody when they say it's not loaded.” was all she said before passing out again. Her parents never lectured her about the weed, or even the shooting herself part. No, instead they had to have a talk about how actions have repercussions. Her Nana just laughed, and then made zucchini bread.

 

Fifteen years later

 

Darcy did everything she'd told herself she would do, and more. Which was why she was currently sitting across a very expensive desk, eating Chinese food out of the containers with one of the wealthiest and most influential men in the world. Who was currently laughing his ass off as he read over her juvenile record.

 

Shaking his head Tony stabbed his chop sticks into his lo mein and turned to look at her. “With your record I'm surprised SHIELD hired you.”

 

Darcy rolled her eyes at him. “I think they hired me because of my record.” Tossing her empty container in the trash without looking she rolled her shoulders. “I mean come on. Nat? Clint?”

 

He nodded, before looking her up and down. “Got a scar?”

 

Darcy just pulled up the right leg of her slacks, showing off the faint scare that was there. “It's more from them digging it out then the bullet.” she supplied when his eyes marginally widened.

 

“What's the hubby have to say about that story?” he asked, turning back to the computer. More then likely covering up his tracks, though with Tony it was always hard to tell.

 

“What do you think?” she countered, lifting an eyebrow.

 

He just snorted and shook his head again. “Master Stark?” JARVIS broke in before Tony could say anything else.

 

“Yea JARVIS?” he answered.

 

“Captain Rogers would like to know if you are coming to bed soon.” Tony face broke out into a smile, one Darcy frequently refereed to as 'the Steve smile'.

 

“Yea, JARVIS, tell him I'll be there in a few minutes.” He shut off the computer and stretched.

 

“Captain Rogers would also like to remind you-”

 

Tony cut hims off before he could finish. “To check the nursery before I come to bed. I know.”

 

“Very well, sir.” There was almost a smile in the AI's voice as he said it.

 

Darcy made a whipping sound, and then laughed when Tony glared at her. “You're one to talk.”

 

Darcy just shrugged. “His not whipped. Just well trained. Right JARVIS?”

 

“Of course, Miss Lewis.” JARVIS replied.

 

“She's not Miss Lewis anymore.” JARVIS didn't respond to that, causing Darcy to chuckle. “How the hell did you get my AI to fall in love with you? I didn't even program him for that!”

 

“Talent, baby.” she snarked back, standing to stretch out her stiff back. “Now come on, we've both got hubby's waiting on us.” Nodding Tony headed for the door. “Lights off and door locked please, JARVIS. Have a good night!” he returned the sentiment as she exited the room.

Chapter Text

Nothing good ever happened on a Wednesday. Nothing. So really Darcy shouldn't have been surprised to wake up that morning to Magneto deciding that the Statue of Liberty needed to be relocated. Really the man needed an hobby, or to get laid. She was voting for door number two, since for all she knew this is what he considered a hobby.

 

The upside to living in the tower though was that the commute to work was non existent, and when the world was in danger she really didn't have the time to worry about things like clothes. Which is how she ended up in midtown dressed in a SHIELD tee shirt, black sweatpants that may or may not have been her's, and a gun on each hip. She might look ridiculous but it wasn't the weirdest thing she'd ever tried to shoot in. The winner of that award was that bridesmaid's dress. She never did get the smell of sulfur out of it.

 

While the Avengers faced off against the Brotherhood, and Coulson sat comfortably in the comm booth, Darcy had been charged with getting a group of school kids out of there fast. She rolled her eyes as she sprinted the last few blocks to where they were holed up in a coffee shop, no doubt cowering behind tables, and screaming for their parents. She really hadn't expected to get there and see one of them shoot up a wall of ice to stop a fire ball. Coulson was going to get a tongue lashing over not telling what school the damn kids went to. Though it made since why she was told they were a top priority, SHIELD was on good relations with Xavier right now and that wouldn't last if half his school got killed on their watch.

 

She felt the slight tremor in the ground before she ever saw Avalanche round the corner. Jumping on top of the hood of a near by car she screamed, “Everybody who's not indestructible hit the deck!” They all looked at her for a split second before following her order. As soon as her eyes landed on him she let off a warning shot, hitting the street lamp above him. When he didn't slow down she took aim again, balancing herself as best she could with the ground shaking harder. The second shot missed his side by a good inch. Cursing under her breath she tried to keep her arms straight, squeezing off another round.

 

“What are you doing?” somebody to her right shouted. Not bothering to look she took aim again, this time grazing his shoulder.

 

“My job.” she quipped, firing two more times, each seeming to hit the target though not apparently enough to slow him down. Was he wearing fucking armor or something? “Get the kids inside, and keep your heads down, I've got backup in route.” It was true, they were just running really, really late.

 

When her next shot hit a car instead the person started yelling again. “There are kids here! What if you hit one of them?” Voice sounded like a male, and from the tone it was somebody who wasn't used to people ignoring him.

 

“I said to get them down, and to safety. Not my problem you can't follow orders, princess.” That didn't defuse the situation any as her view was then partially blocked by a tall man wearing rose tinted glasses. “Out of my way, or I make no guarantees I don't give you a new hole.” He didn't move. “No skin off my teeth.” Leaning just slightly to the right she shot around him, once again missing, though this time it was do to the large earth shattering quake that tore down the middle of the road, sending her flying backwards. Tapping her comm as she pushed herself up off the ground she growled when Coulson answered. “I could do with that backup! I've got Avalanche here, and he's still going strong after I nicked him with three bullets.”

 

“Maybe should stop nicking him.” Coulson answered, dry humor mixing with exasperation.

 

“You ever tried to get a shot off in the middle of an earthquake while worrying about civilian lives?” She really shouldn't have been expecting the answer to be anything other then a terse 'yes'. “Well I'm not using a bunch of kids for back up so tell somebody to get their ass over here!” Tapping the comm again she glared at the man currently crouched down next to her. “You got a superpower you could pull out of your ass right now?”

 

He just smirked and tapped his glasses. Lifting a brow and nodding her head towards the still rampaging Avalanche. He nodded, standing. Whatever she was expecting it sure as hell wasn't the sudden flash of light that filled the air. Huh, so this was Cyclops. Logan was right, he was kinda an ass. The quake stopped for a moment only to intensify, Cyclops dropping back down. At that point she finally heard the helicopter over head, coming in. “Anybody hurt?” she asked, Cyclops just shaking his head. “Good. That's those kids ride out of here, round them up and get them on.” He nodded, ducking behind cars as he made his way to the group. Looking over the hood, Darcy saw an opening, taking another shot, this time hitting the mutants shoulder, causing him to stagger backwards.

 

The kids were easily corralled and helped up the rope ladder, before it was just her and Cyclops on the ground. “Go with the kids!” she yelled over the noise, hair whipping in her face. Looking back at him she saw him creeping his way closer to the other mutant. “What the fuck are you doing?” Her scream fell on deaf ears as he just kept going. Tossing the hand signal to the chopper they pulled up the ladder, taking off. She really wasn't having it on her head if one of the X-men got killed on her watch, and if that meant following him on a suicide run, well at least if things went from bad to dead she couldn't be forced to fill out the paper work. Though she knew a certain someone who wouldn't take her death in stride. Wincing at the thought of the property damage she hurried her steps, trying not to stumble over the debris.

 

The ensuing fight between the two mutants shook the earth and overturned at least three cars. Darcy managed to find a good vantage point in the cab of a discarded semi truck. Rolling down the window she took aim, watching Cyclops for him to get out of the way. Of course neither of them were telepaths so he didn't know her plan, she was just hoping fate would be on her side, if only for fifteen seconds. She saw her opening, and taking a deep breath she took the shot. Only for him to move just enough that the bullet grazed his ribs before hitting Avalanche straight in the hip. If his howl of pain was anything to go by, she's pretty sure she just hit a chunk of bone with her bullet. As he hit the ground Cyclops turned to look at her, holding his bleeding side. “You shot me!”

 

Jumping down from the cab she shook her head. “I grazed you!” she exclaimed, digging her emergency pack from the back of her belt. “Now stand still and I'll patch you up.” Tossing him the pack she tapped her comm. “Lewis, here. I need medical, and a holding container for Mr. Petrakis here.” Coulson gave the affirmative, the comm cutting out right after. By the time the transport arrived a few minutes later she'd hogtied Avalanche and put a temporary bandage on Cyclops.

 

Coulson just looked her up and down when he climbed out of the car before glancing at the two men. “Do you know how much paperwork this is going to generate?” She could tell by the slight facial twitch that some part of him was amused, though she knew better then to question exactly what part of the this he would find funny.

 

Shrugging, she just hooked her thumbs in the back of her sweatpants, trying to look innocent. “Happy Birthday?”

 

He just lifted an brow at her. “I prefer my gifts not to by DIY.” She just laughed, her face lighting up. She'd make it up to him, after all she knew the horror of paperwork, and that was one thing she really would wish on no one. Except maybe Clint. Huh, there's an idea. If he noticed her smirk he didn't say anything. “Mr. Summer, Agent Coulson.” Coulson had already sidestepped her, heading towards where the man was being looked at by medical. “I would like to apologize on behalf of SHIELD for this... incident.”

 

Cyclops just shrugged, wincing as he did so. “It's fine.” he forced a small smile, and accepted Coulson's hand. “She got all of the kids out and that is what important.”

 

Coulson nodded. “Well, just the same.” Turning around he walked briskly back to the waiting car. Walking forward Darcy gave him a hesitant tap on the shoulder.

 

“No hard feelings?” she asked, looking a little sheepish.

 

She didn't flinch when he turned a glare on her. “Wolverine warned me about you. I thought he was exaggerating.”

 

Huffing, Darcy crossed her arms. “All of you are a bunch of babies.” Not saying anything else she stalked towards the car waiting on her. Professor Xavier sent her a card thanking her for the safe return of his students, which she thought was kind of nice. Logan sent her a bottle of Canadian whiskey, and a note asking for her to aim a little higher next time, or at least a little more to the left. She had it framed, it just seemed appropriate.

Chapter Text

Over the years a lot of people have asked her why Coulson hired her on after the New Mexico incident. Her stock answer was 'because I'm just that awesome', which usually made people laugh and dismiss it. The truth of the whole situation is something only three people in the world know, herself, Coulson, and the night shift receptionist at the twenty four emergency vet clinic in Portland. Really the nurse just knows the ending but that's closer then a lot of people have gotten over the years.

 

Since she'd been 'promoted' to the job as Avengers babysitter, after getting her sea legs of course, it had become a bit of a routine for her to hang out with them outside of work. Which usually meant food with Thor, concerts with Tony, museums and early morning tai chi with Steve, and pub crawling with Natasha and Clint every Thursday.

 

This Thursday the three found themselves at a Karaoke bar about eight blocks from the Tower. That was mostly for convenience though. The duo had just gotten back from some assignment in God-knows-where a few days before, both still at little stiff, a little jumpy. Natasha was already five shots of Vodka in before any of their names, well their names of the night, were called. Clint was slowly sipping on his micro brew, checking his phone every five minutes like he was expecting a text. Rolling her eyes Darcy snagged the phone from his hand, obviously catching him by surprise since she actually managed to have it in hand before he grabbed her wrist. Sighing she handed it back when she saw the look in his eyes. She knew what he was waiting for, and nothing short of a straight up distraction was going to do the job.

 

“Did I ever tell you why Coulson hired me?” she finally asked. This drew two sets of eyes to her.

 

Natasha leaned back and flagged down the waitress for a refill. “I believe it was because you are, quote 'just that awesome' end quote.” She must have been getting towards tipsy because she actually used the air quotes.

 

“Well I am.” Darcy pointed out with a smirk.

 

Clint took an actual drink from his no doubt warm beer. A marginal improvement, but nothing Darcy couldn't work with. “For a woman who's real first name is Prudence.” he chuckled, moving on to full on laughter when Darcy glared at him.

 

Slouching in her own chair she took a sip of her LIT. “I was named after the Beatles song.” she tried to defend her name, a pout working across her lips. Natasha gave a barely audible snort at that. “Not a sound out of you.” Darcy scolded, pointing a finger for good measure. “It was the song playing when my parents first met.”

 

Shaking his head Clint took a gulp of his beer. “Still. Prudence Darcy Lewis. How'd they even come up with Darcy?”

 

Darcy just shrugged. “Compromise. Mom wanted my middle name to be my Gran's first name, Dad wanted to carry on the family tradition of naming me after the place I was born. Since they didn't know that, they went with the place Gran and Gramps officially met. Viel-Arcy, France.”

 

Clint snorted into his glace. “Why couldn't you have just been named for a straight forward reason?”

 

“Why's your name Clinton then?” she countered. Clint very rarely talked about the past, so she was fully expecting to be stone walled with this one. She was a little surprised to see his shoulders loosen just slightly.

 

“I was named after my mom's brother. He died during Vietnam.” he said it quietly, but earnestly, like it was something good that he wanted to keep safe.

 

“Well, see.” Darcy said softly. “Your name isn't straight forward either.” He just smiled, and finished off his beer.

 

“It's not Prudence, though.” Oh yea, Natasha was feeling it.

 

Clint seemed to focus in on something, turning his eyes towards Darcy. “You still haven't told us why Coulson hired you though. You know, for real.”

 

Taking the shot Natasha slid across the table she grimaced at the taste. “Oh, it's cause I shot him.”

 

Natasha pointed at her, shot glass still in hand. “Details, сейчас.”

 

Darcy held up her hands, she knew when the Russian started coming out there was no such thing as 'no'. “Ok, ok. I'll tell the story. But if he ever finds out I told you guys this I'm putting Nair in your shampoo. Seriously.”

 

September 2010

 

Darcy had been back from New Mexico for about three weeks. Just enough time to get used to normal life again. Well, normal for her. Her parents were on the road again, and since she'd begged off because of the 'gas explosion' she'd already lived through that summer, so they set her up in an apartment near the University. She would have preferred the commune, but apparently Mom and Dad where having their bungalow renovated, and Portland was closer then Seattle. Still, it was an hour drive north to the commune, and she didn't know anybody in town besides her landlord, an old friend of her Mom's somehow.

 

That being said, she was spending yet another Friday night home alone watching tv and eating what ever she could scrounge up from the dregs of that weeks grocery run. She was just starting to regret turning down Jane's offer to stay on as her assistant now that she had the funding. She was officially done with school after all, and it would have been a steady paycheck, but she just couldn't bring herself to say yes. Being stuck in a lab all day reading and highlighting spreadsheets wasn't what she wanted out of her life, period.

 

It was almost eleven when she decided to make a quick run down to the convenience store on the corner for some ice cream and a pack of menthol’s, just because she could. She'd gotten her essentials and was maybe ten feet from the front steps when she heard squealing tires, a black SUV barreling down the street only to do a sharp U turn and stop right beside her. The passenger side door flew open, a middle aged man in sunglasses shouting, “Get in!” she stood there for a second just staring, till two more SUV came speeding from the direction the first had come from. Then the bullets started flying. “Now!” was the last thing she heard before she dived head first into the passengers seat, slamming the door behind her. The man hit the gas, plowing between the two oncoming SUVs.

 

The pulled into a parking garage five minutes later, the driver hitting the breaks, Darcy flying head first into the dashboard. “You should always wear a seat belt.” he reprimanded as he killed the engine.

 

“Thanks for the advice.” she muttered, rubbing her forehead. She turned to look at the stranger who's car she gotten into, yea, smooth move there Lewis, only to find him vaguely familiar. “Hey! You're that guy! The suite from New Mexico.”

 

He nodded, removing his sun glasses. “Agent Coulson.” he supplied. Before he could say anything else the sound of squealing tires echoed through out the garage. Starting the car Coulson ripped out of the parking spot and gunned for the exit, Darcy scrambling for her seat belt.

 

Two streets over they seemed to have lot them. Digging out her pack of cigarettes Darcy pulled one out and lit up. She'd only taken one glorious, nerve settling drag when it was plucked from her lips. “Smoking is bad for you.” Coulson said, tossing it out the window. “And this is a rental.” Darcy just stared at him, mouth gaping. That was when they saw the flashing lights.

 

Ten minutes and one $1200 ticket for throwing a lit cigarette out the window later they were once again off to wherever the crazy g-man was taking her. She strongly suspected an empty warehouse to kill her. Where ever it was, it was definitely outside the city. “They want to kidnap you.”

 

Darcy just turned her head and stared. “Excuse me?” There was no way she heard him right. Who would want to kidnap a poli-sci graduate from a back woods university in Virginia?

 

“They call themselves AIM, Advanced Idea Mechanics.” he supplied, turning down a road heading out of the city. “Their main focus is to obtain technological advances to overthrow the worlds governments.”

 

Shaking her head Darcy just couldn't wrap her mind around why they would want her, and more then a little scared shitless about what they would do to her. So instead of going with fear, she went with sarcasm. “Say I believe you. Why the fuck would they bother coming after me? I'm not exactly building hydragin bombs in my apartment.”

 

“It's because of your work with Dr. Foster.” he explained, though Darcy didn't really see it as much of an explination.

 

“My work for Dr. Foster included making coffee and remembering that she hated cinnamon poptarts. Why not go after her?” Darcy quipped, turning her head to stare straight out her window.

 

Coulson staid quiet for a moment, eyes straight ahead. “It's because she's under SHIELD protection at the moment, locked down in a secured facility along with Dr. Selvig. They couldn't get with in a hundred miles of them with out us knowing.”

 

Darcy nodded, she could understand that. Jane and Eric were both working on some heavy duty science stuff, so naturally they would have an ass ton of protection. Darcy on the other hand, not so much. “I get it, you couldn't spare resources.”

 

“No actually.” Darcy swung her head around to look at him, completely lost. “Up in till three days ago we thought you were with your parents. We thought moving around would discourage they from attempting to find you.” Ok, that made sense. With her Dad's line up this summer they weren't really anyplace for longer then a few hours, and even though there was a tour list that never stopped her parents from changing their mind and heading somewhere else entirely.

 

“So how did you know I was in Portland?” She knew it was a stupid question, they'd probably lo jacked her stuff while she wasn't looking, still though, she wanted to know where to look for the bugs.

 

“The Director has old friends that are familiar with yourself and your family.” Yea, that wasn't cryptic at all. For all she knew her cousin Tommy had ratted her out when they came asking just to get his prison sentence reduced. She was about ready to ask more, mostly out of morbid curiosity when a car came up behind them, high beams on, and getting uncomfortably close. The first time they tapped the back bumper Coulson kept the car straight, by the third the car swerved, hit a ditch and ended up in a field. Coulson didn't seem as fazed as she thought someone should be after being rammed off the road, instead he just kept driving, going forward till the cars tires hit gravel.

 

Their pursuers hadn't been deterred following then through the field. Leaning over he opened up the glovebox, and pulled out at gun. “Ever used one of these before?” he asked handing it over.

 

“Once.” she offered, looking for the safety. “Didn't end well.” He nodded, which lead her to believe he'd somehow gotten hold of her juvenile record. Surprise, surprise.

 

“Just don't shoot yourself.” He really should have been careful about his wording there. One high speed car chase, and a full on gun fight in an abandoned warehouse later Darcy was driving madly down the streets of Portland looking for an open emergency clinic. “How the hell did you shoot me?” his voice slurred just slightly from the painkillers she'd also conveniently found in the glovebox.

 

Rolling her eyes, Darcy stared straight ahead. “Technically, I didn't. I was aiming for one of the bad guys gunning for your head. It must have ricochet or something. I don't know! Stop yelling at me!” Ok, she wasn't going to freak out. She was driving a rented car illegally, twice over, and had a government agent riding shot gun with a bullet in his left arm that she put there. With a gun not registered to her, and with out a gun permit. Fuck she was in deep shit. That meant that hospitals were out, hospitals asked too many questions and did stupid things like call the cops. Trying to take a deep breath she tried to think of something. Suddenly having an idea she grabbed his phone, and dialed 411.

 

The Ark veterinary clinic was the only twenty-four hour veterinary clinic in the area. That being said it clearly wasn't a bustling place. “The Vet is out, you're going to have to wait.” the receptionist said, not looking up from her book. Darcy's quiet 'um' drew her eyes up, and straight to the bleeding Coulson she was currently holding up. “Jesus Christ!” In an instant the young woman was around the desk and helping Darcy support him. “We've gotta call an ambulance.”

 

“You can't!” Darcy cried, trying to think of a good reason when the woman looked at her strangely. “Look hospitals ask questions, questions I might not be able to answer.”

 

The woman looked at her for a minute, but then nodded. “Got it. Help me get him in the back.” Once he was one the table the woman started grabbing supplies. “Get him out of his jacket and shirt.”

 

“Should I be moving him?” Darcy asked, watching as his head lulled to the side with a groan. Turning to look at her the woman held out a pair of scissors. “Got it.”

 

It took forever to dig out the bullet, but she'd finally managed to get it out and stop most of the bleeding. “What's your name? I'm-” The woman cut her off with a hand motion.

 

“Honey, as nice is that is I think for all of our sakes we should all keep our names to ourselves.” she said, slowly starting the stitches.

 

Darcy just shrugged. “That's ok, I was just going to lie anyway.” The woman just shook her head and laughed. “How do you know how to do this? I mean, receptionist?”

 

“I work here so I can pay for my RN. Part of it includes helping out with surgical procedures. You can learn a lot just by watching.” That made sense to Darcy so she just nodded along.

 

Forty-five minutes later Coulson was stitched and sitting up sucking on ice cubes. Darcy, wrung out and tired beyond belief dug out her mostly crumpled back of cigarettes and light one up. This time when it was plucked from her hand she was ready to tear into Coulson, till he took a long drag himself. He did look at little startled when the aspiring RN grabbed it from his hand. “Your not supposed to smoke in here.” she chastised before taking a long drag and handing it to Darcy.

 

“Aren't you worried about getting in trouble?” Darcy asked as she passed it off to Coulson.

 

She just shook her head. “Nay. If he says anything I'll threaten to leave an anonymous tip to the local PD that he exchanges sex for animal tranqs out the back of this place.” Darcy had to admire her balls if nothing else.

 

Once he was coherent Coulson called for backup, a two black town cars pulling up out front ten minutes later. “They'll take you home.” he said before climbing into his own car.

 

After that Darcy wasn't really sure what she expected, but it wasn't for a sharp dressed woman to show up at her door the next morning, manilla envelop in hand. Inside were a confidentiality agreement, a contract and a one way ticket to New York City, lift off in five hours. She called her parents from JFK.

 

Present day

 

“And that's why Coulson hired me.” she finished, looking over at Natasha who was sprawled out over the table, about fifteen empty shot glasses surrounding her.

 

“У вас красивые глаза.” obviously drunk off her ass.

 

Darcy just threw her head back and laughed. “Thank you, sweetheart.” she replied with a smirk.

 

Clint looked up at her from his own resting spot on his arms. “How do you understand her?”

 

She shrugged. “Rosetta stone. When Coulson said I got the job I took the first few weeks learning as much as I could. Figured it couldn't hurt.” Before he could respond his phone went off, the screen displaying one new text message. Taking a deep breath, he opened it, his shoulders slowly relaxing as he read. “Told you he'd be ok.”

 

“Yea.” Clint murmured before pocketing his phone. “Next rounds on me!” Darcy just laughed as Natasha almost jumped out of her seat, eyes looking around.

 

“I think she's had enough.” Natasha's only reply was to give her the finger before her head hit the table.

Chapter Text

 

There were two things Darcy noticed when she entered her apartment. One, she thought she'd locked the deadbolt that morning, scratch that she knew she had. Two, someone was in her apartment. Slipping her gun out from it's holster she kicked off her heels and slowly closed the door behind her. Walking slowly through the apartment she looked for anything out of place, finding nothing till she reached the bedroom. The door was closed but she could see the faint light of her bedside lamp leaking out underneath. Reaching out for the handle she noticed it wasn't completely closed, just needing a small push to open. Lifting her gun she cocked it before doing just that.

 

“You know, I don't remember you mentioning a gun kink when we first started dating.” he said, not looking up at her from where he was spread out on the bed, facing the door. Sighing Darcy removed the bullet from the chamber and clicked the safety before setting it on top the dresser.

 

“I didn't?” she asked innocently, a smile forming on her lips. “My bad.” Now this was a sight for sore eyes, coming home to him stretched out in her... their bed, book beside him as he read. Walking slowly across the room she pulled off her suite jacket and her holster, dumping them to the floor before climbing onto the bed. Laying her head on her pillow she just took in the sight of him. God it felt like weeks since they'd been like this, just the two of them lying in bed. Propping her head up on her hand she felt tired. “Read to me.”

 

He chuckled lightly, slipping his bookmark in place before looking up at her. “You hate the Great Gatsby.” he reminded her, reaching out to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear.

 

“Yea.” she quietly admitted, leaning into his touch. “But I like the sound of your voice.” Wrapping his arm around her waist he pulled her close, pressing their foreheads together. He always knew when it had been a bad day, when all she wanted was quiet and his arms wrapped around her.

 

“Do you want me to start at the beginning?” he asked even though he already knew the answer.

 

“No.” she whispered back, breathing in the smell of his cologne. “I already know the story.” He didn't open up the book, just pressed a kiss to her forehead. “James?”

 

He stilled before pulling back to look at her. She was the only one who ever called him that, and then it was only in moments like this, in the quiet, and the stillness, when that was all he had to be, her James. “Yes?”

 

She leaned forward, kissing him lightly on the lips. “I love you.” she whispered against his lips, closing her eyes.

 

“I love you too, Darcy.” he whispered back, wrapping his other arm around her as well, drawing her closer. She said that she didn't mind, that it was as much a part of him as the rest, but he could never shake the feeling that she was just saying that to make him feel better, that she hated it as much as him, hated him touching her with it as much as he did. In moments like this, though, he actually believed everything she said. “More then anything in the world.”

 

She gave a small 'hum', tucking her head up under his chin, laying her hand on his metal arm. He wanted to spend the rest of his life just like this, knew she did too. Slowly her breathing evened out as she slowly drifted off. Smiling down at her he reached over and turned off the light. They would have plenty of other nights for reading. Tonight he just wanted to hold her close and chase away both of their ghosts at least for one more night.