What am I doing here. I don’t belong, I never do. I should get the ‘looks’ from people, where they associate you as unimportant with a quick flicker of the eye. But I don’t even get that.There is always that pull that drags me here however, one that I can’t just shake off. No matter how hard that I try, I end up in the same place despite my social status.
The coffee here is not as good here, I prefer the strong ground coffee beans of my home town. Not the sugar-loaded milky substance that I currently hold in my hand. It’s not even warm which defeats the purpose of even having a coffee, especially in these cold months. I pay the four dollars for my coffee reluctantly, (it was half the price at home) and headed down the same path as I always did. There it was. The building was the tallest in the street. I looked up to the top and stared at what would be the penthouse. I had only ever wanted what I needed, my upbringing in my community taught me that. But one can’t deny that it would be luxurious to live in one place such as the penthouse and that I was a slightly curious. I’m not like those people who have experienced it and crave it as soon as they leave, as I have never experienced it myself. Not that I really want to. It can change people, mix up their priorities, they turn greedy. I never want to be like that, with that ravenous glint in their eye, wanting more and more what they don’t need. I glanced at the building and went to continue across the road to head down the opposite street. But my subconscious thought seemed to think otherwise, and suddenly I was through the revolving doors and heading towards the elevator inside the building.
My actions betrayed my thoughts as I hit the top button. What am I doing? Hit that bottom button right now. Thankfully I did, but I still had to travel to the top before I could start my descent. The climb to the top took forever, never ending as it was double the length in my mind. The speed however seemed faster, dragging me away from my stomach that was left at ground level. The elevator came to a halt ringing to alert my presence. I latched myself onto the railing as the doors swung open. But the pull was too strong this time, after all it had been months. I tripped into the penthouse, my will gave in a good fight. I heard the doors close and the elevator abandon me with the rattling of its drop fading into silence.
The coolness of the marble on my face was soothing, calming to the current crack of self control. I had to get up and press the button to return the elevator before anyone saw me. Though I had to get off the floor to achieve that. I slowly lifted my head trying to avoid my surroundings, but it was so incredible. The white marble stretched out all across the floor until it finally met some walls around fifty metres away. The walls were another thing. They were bright white and had been wainscoted for the bottom half of the wall with brilliant flowers curving and looping around the for the design. To my left, through the door, I could see the floor morphed into milky tiles, with striking black lines like lightning projecting along them. No two tiles were the same. They were surrounding a magnificent spiraling staircase with curved black railing shaped to match the walls flowers.
I had reached the bottom of the staircase before I even had realised that I had moved. This is not good, I thought to myself. Now I really needed to get out of here. Before I get caught. My body starts to finally respond, but it is too little too late. “Dan?” She had come into view, descended a few stairs and had placed her hands on the railing. She looked perfect as always, she sparkled the colour of sun, eyes bright with curiosity. “uhh... Blair, I didn’t think you’d be here..”
“What are you doing here?”
“uh..” I didn’t know. What could I say? I had to think of a lie and fast, though I’ve never been much of a liar. “I was just trying to find your mum, Jenny would like another chance working for her..” I muttered hastily. I could see on her face that she saw right through me, but from the curious little frown on her face I thought that the real reason had remained hidden for now. “She isn’t here right now, you do know that she works full time don’t you..?” She asked. Damn, stupid lies. They just require you to dig deeper holes until there is no going back. I had to tread carefully. “Oh okay, I must have misheard Chuck then” I said, putting on a ‘palm to the face’ and making her giggle. “Chuck?” She asked, her eyes sparkling. The way she said his name, it was as if that single name from her lips formed an unbreakable bond in itself. A surge of hatred cursed through me, towards that bond. “Yeah, I passed him on the way here” I said through my teeth. That part of my alibi was true, I had passed Chuck, the only one that ever gives me any hint of recognition in this damned place. He’ll go beyond that and smile and wave from across the road sometimes. It’s these sorts of things that make it so much harder to hate him. I should do. I want to. But I can’t. “Oh right, of course,” She sighed. “He would be playing right about now” she added as she looked at her watch.
“Yeah,” I said lamely. I mean, what else could I say? “You should go watch, surprise him,” I said, immediately wishing I hadn’t. “He would love that!” She skipped down the staircase, grabbing her coat hanging on the bottom of the railing as she passed. She came up to me and stopped, pondering for a moment, then planted a kiss on my cheek before dashing to the elevator and disappearing inside. “Thanks Dan!” I heard her yell from behind the closed elevator doors.
What just happened? I am such a coward. She must think that I have a stutter or something because that’s what it’s like whenever i’m around her. I can’t even talk properly. My brain doesn’t function. And oh how I would give anything to be Chuck, he literally has it all.
I heard the elevator give a ring as it returned, so I swiveled on my heel and headed towards it. The doors opened and I stepped inside. I stood, whilst replaying the pressure placed to my cheek in my head over and over again.