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Agree to Disagree

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Amy Santiago has never thought of herself as a demanding sort of person. Quite the opposite really - she's been accused of being overly eager to please and much too willing to sacrifice what she actually wants in exchange for keeping other people happy. It doesn't bother her too badly; she'd like to be more assertive but there are far worse things to be known for than being a bit too much of a sweetheart. Still, this is her wedding they're talking about, and she's the bride, and she should be able to get what she wants for once dammit!

(Sorry. She doesn't usually swear.)

But it's also Rosa's wedding, and Rosa is also the bride, so she takes a deep breath and tells herself to be reasonable. Steeling herself, she asks a question that she knows she'll regret.

"Okay. Why do you think we should get married in Vegas?"

Rosa shrugs. "It's cheap. It's easy. We can gamble and see boobs and peen."

(Amy swears some more.)

She runs through her own list of suggestions. Rosa strenuously objects to renting the Beaux-Arts Court at the Brooklyn Museum ("Lame."), the Great Hall at the Brooklyn Historical Society ("Lamer.") or the Rotunda at the New York Public Library ("God, Amy! Was it your childhood dream to have the lamest wedding ever?").

(In the end they just agree to come back to the venue question later so that Amy doesn't have to start swearing again.)

Next there's the matter of their families. Neither one of them cares too much about being given away, so they can agree to skip that. But that seems like all they can agree on. Amy explains that she still wants her parents to walk her down the aisle. It would be nice if their names could be on the invitations, and of course she's going to want them to give readings during the ceremony and make speeches at the reception. What role does Rosa see her family playing in the celebrations?

Rosa just stares at her for a long moment before making her admission. "I was... actually just going to text them the night before and see if they wanted to come."

(Speaking of parents, it's a good thing that Amy's mother and her ever present swear-jar are not here at the moment. Otherwise, Amy would be out at least ten bucks.)

The rest of the night is taken up with calling Rosa's parents to tell them that their youngest daughter is getting married. And because that youngest daughter is Rosa, who – to put it mildly – is not exactly the sharing type, the whole process also has to include telling her parents that she's bisexual and has been dating a woman named Amy for the last several months. It all goes fairly well; either they'd guessed at least part of Rosa's news or the phenomenon of their daughter being happy is such a wonderful surprise for them that they'll gladly accept anything that makes it happen. But still, by the time that Mr. Diaz has invited Amy to call him Dad and Mrs. Diaz has finished going on about donor sperm and something terrifying called a 'Semenette', Amy is exhausted and has no more energy left to discuss wedding things for the rest of the night.

(The Diazes don't make Amy swear. They're lovely people and - now that the mystery of why they never asked to meet her or called to congratulate them on their engagement is solved - she's thrilled that's she going to have such nice in-laws. Rosa, however, calls them 'fucking-smiley, Stepford-shit, happy fuckers' with such vehemence that Amy feels like she might as well have sworn too. That's how many swears are floating around the room right now.)

Normally a brief respite from talking about favors and centerpieces would make Rosa happy but she seems to have decided to rip off all the band-aids at once this evening. She wants to discuss dresses, and Rosa voluntarily suggesting a topic for a session of wedding planning is novel enough that Amy gets her second wind almost instantly. Unfortunately, the discussion goes something like this:

"I'm not wearing anything lacy or frilly."

"That's fine."

"Or anything with stupid sparkles on it."

"No problem."

"Or anything long."

"That's... totally cool."

"Or white."

(At this point, Amy lets loose with a long string of swear words that leaves her gasping and breathless while Rosa looks both impressed and slightly aroused.)

Later that night, Amy works up the nerve to google the Semenette. Oh God. It has veins.

Despite all odds, over the next few months the wedding actually comes together. There are some things that the two of them do manage to come to an enthusiastic consensus on, such as a policy on drinks ("Open bar with everything except pilsners." "Sounds good. Pilsners are for pussies."). Another blissfully conflict-free area is the cake ("Chocolate with chocolate filling and chocolate icing." "Fuck yeah.").

Sometimes they just end up going their own ways. Amy orders a wedding dress. It's not lacy or frilly but it is long, white and covered in sparkles. And the enthusiastic - and rather predatory - grin on Rosa's face when she first sees Amy in it indicates that she likes it just fine after all. Meanwhile, Rosa's choice of bridal apparel turns out to be red, sleeveless, backless and thigh-grazing. She looks so ridiculously good in it that Amy not only forgets all about seeing her in a white gown but she also makes Rosa promise to wear it every night of their honeymoon.

The rest, they get around by asking friends for help. Captain Holt manages to settle the venue question when Kevin offers up the Faculty House at Columbia at a ridiculously discounted rate. Both brides had been worried that putting Boyle in charge of food was going to mean a menu of ginger tripe and curried jellyfish, but the buffet of gourmet salads and mini-pizzas that he comes up with actually looks both impressive and delicious. In a moment of weakness, they agree to let Gina handle the entertainment, which of course ends up meaning that Gina is the entertainment, but they decide that that's okay because at least it will be memorable and Jake promises to keep her reasonably in line. Finally, Terry's daughters look so adorable in their little flower girl dresses that, late one night, Amy actually orders a Semenette.

(She hides it in a drawer Rosa never looks in. They can talk about it after the wedding. She knows in advance that the conversation will involve tons of swearing, but she's starting to like that.)

Rosa objects a bit to spending the night before the wedding at her sister's house, not because she's some sort of clingy bridezilla but because everything there is pink and/or has unicorns on it. Amy talks her into by saying that she just wants a tiny bit of tradition for their day. That's partly true, but she's also hiding something. The truth is that she needs the time alone to work on her vows, which everyone assumes that hyper-competent Amy Santiago finished weeks ago and which she is, in reality, now starting the 86th draft of.

So it's three o'clock in the morning the day of her wedding, and she's freaking out because she has to wake up in five hours and deliver these stupid vows six hours after that. And she wishes so much that Rosa was there to kiss her and tease her for overthinking this, to tell her to stop panicking and just suck it up and get it done. For a moment, the desire to talk to Rosa is so strong that it's like she's actually there and Amy can honestly hear her voice.

"For fuck's sake, Amy! Just write whatever it is you want to write. It's your wedding after all, so any shit you want to say is fine. People can listen and they can either like it or fuck off. What does it matter?"

(Even in Amy's imagination, Rosa swears a lot.)

And then, suddenly, she has it.

Rosa, I want to marry you, because you make me a better person. Not only do you challenge me every day, and make me see things with new eyes and new points of view, but you've also taught me that my own eyes and my own points of view are good and valid and worth fighting for. I've learned from you that I'm strong enough to weather arguments and challenges, that I'm capable of accepting dissent and compromise, and that I'm deserving of love even if I don't always do exactly what the person I love would want. I vow that every day I will continue to learn from you and continue to teach you. I know that you're not a romantic person, but I love that you've cared enough about this wedding to fight to make it something that reflects who you are. Because I love who you are, your strengths and your weaknesses, your beauty and your flaws. I love every single thing about you. And I always will.

(Amy swears that it's true.)