It Won't Keep in the Heat

by ActuallyCrowley (LilaKane)

Summary:

110 degrees? Not a problem. Until their neighbors' temperature control systems start failing. Jared suggests they invite everyone over for an impromptu dinner party, Misha's a sucker for the Puppy Eyes ™, and Jensen doesn't stand a chance against both of them.

Now they just have to keep the bodies secret until after desert.

"What was that?"

Jared frowned as he locked his phone and slid it into his pocket. He glanced over his shoulder and, yeah, Jensen looked even more pissed than when Jared first suggested the party.

"Uh, look, all their stuff is gonna go bad. I offer-"

"We're just outside LA in a nice neighborhood, Jared, not in the middle of the Ghobi. The repairmen will be by to fix everyone's shit before six."

Jared turned around with the sweetest grin he could muster. "But, Jen, it is really hot today." He tilted his head a bit to the side, toning it down to a smile. He was great at wheedling agreements out of Jensen, even at his crankiest. Jared didn't have dimples for nothing.

Jensen pursed his lips, then chewed on them, and then let out an exasperated breath. As always.

Jared turned the charm up to eleven just in case.

"Fine," Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose, "tell them to empty out their fridges and bring it here. We'll set 'em up in the ice boxes."

"Don't be mad, Jen. We're supposed to be good neighbors."

Jensen whirled on Misha. "Oh, now that you've decided to unwrap yourself from the bed sheets, you get to help State Farm move the bodies out. So power through that breakfast burrito because I'm going to take a shower." He clapped Misha on the shoulder and shook him, planting a kiss on his temple as he headed out of the kitchen. "Don't forget to weigh them down evenly. We don't want them floating back up top in twenty minutes."

"Why am I State Farm?"

"Because like a a good neighbor, you're there."

Jared nodded. If Jensen was being a wise-ass then he wasn't too mad. Probably because he wouldn't have to do any heavy lifting. He shrugged happily at Misha, whose mouth was twisted to the side in irritation.

"Do you wanna get dressed before we get started?"

"No." Misha crammed in the last of his burrito and pointed at him menacingly. "Yer makin' me an omlit when wer done." He swallowed and grabbed the keys to the shed, rolling his eyes at Jared. "Let's go. If we hurry maybe Jensen'll still be marinating in body wash and we can share with him."

"You realize I've been up since six? I'm all set for today."

The screen door slamming shut behind Misha was his answer.

He supposed lugging a couple hundred pounds would have him work up enough sweat to justify a threeso- shower.

Notes:

I enjoy the stories of serial killers (real and imagined) for a multitude of reasons.

Our building's power went out yesterday and I escaped to a Dunkin Donuts until it was restored. I was hoping it would be fixed before I had to ask my mum for help in moving all my perishables to her house.

I just happened to bring along the latest copy of SPN Magazine to keep myself busy and it occurred to me: Jared is both nice and intelligent enough to get away with being a serial killer. Misha seems like such an oddball to most that they wouldn't expect him to actually be a serial killer. Jensen gets away with it because he's reserved and polite, and just as crafty and ruthless as the other two.

So, Good Neighbor Jared decides to help out his friends by keeping their food edible. To do that he needs to move some un-disposed of bodies from their ice boxes to the pond behind their house.

Also they're all together because I kind of can't separate them anymore.

This is a really tiny snippet. More to come. It's also unbeta'd.