“You know how much your father and I love you, don’t you?”
Having Captain America as a parent had two downfalls:
1. Every history teacher from first grade on expects you to stand up in front of the class and give an accurate description of World War II
2. When you get in trouble you feel like you disappointed the whole country
“I know you love me, Pop.”
“We don’t want to keep grounding you, it’s just, we don’t know what to do with you right now. There’s a cliché that says children don’t come with an instruction manual, but even if they did, there wouldn’t be a chapter on sociopaths that live in trees or drag queens from outer space.”
Peter just barely stopped himself from commenting on the accuracy of that cliché. He was already in enough trouble.
“We moved to the suburbs to give you a normal life,” Steve went on in his ‘good cop’ voice, “but now Tony is talking about moving to the moon. Literally. He’s downstairs drawing up plans for a moon base.”
“I don’t want to live on the moon!” The threat was probably empty but it still brought him to tears.
“It’s all right.” Steve gathered Peter into his arms and stroked the back of his head protectively. “All we need is some peace and quiet and no one will have to go to the moon.”
“I can do that. Peace and quiet. I promise.”
– – –
“Why is there a bomb in the middle of the cul-de-sac?” Charles asked, not even taking the risk at looking in Wade’s mind for the answer.
“And why is it so god damn big?” Erik asked.
Wade, to his credit, attempted to look meek. As meek as one could behind a face mask and in front of a bomb that stood taller than he did. “I made it for the Fourth of July. I couldn’t decide between a float or a fireworks show, so I made both.”
“Is this about the twink that lives next door? –– I mean, that kid Peter?” Charles belatedly caught himself mimicking what Erik called the neighbor’s boy in private but it was too late, neither of the other men could hear him correct himself over their own laughing and high-fiving.
“Okay,” Erik said when he finally caught his breath, “now that nothing will compare to how perfect that moment just was, let’s set this thing off. I’ll deal with the shrapnel and we’ll give the kids each a bucket of water; it’ll be fine.”
– – –
Peter wasn’t allowed to get near a window (all of which had been shattered to pieces) but whatever had happened outside left him deaf for almost a half hour and when his hearing finally came back the first thing he heard was his Dad doing what he hoped was a Honeymooners impression, “Straight to the moon, Steve!”