Chapter Text
Daniel Jackson entered his office carrying a small bronze statue. Ferretti's team had found it in a deserted village built around a Grecian style temple on P3E3113. The sociologist on SG-3 had not been able to identify the god that the temple was dedicated to but it really wasn't his forte. Daniel wanted to ascertain just who the deity was and whether it was a Goa'uld. Sitting down by his worktable, he began to rub the encrusted dirt off of the little idol with his thumb.
"Daniel! Stop that! For crying out loud!"
The archaeologist jerked in his seat nearly dropping the statue. "Jack, I wish you wouldn't do that. It's annoying."
"Yeah, well, I wish you wouldn't do that either." Colonel O'Neill walked into the office and stopped by his friend's stool, glaring at him. "That rubbing thing you do. You know what happens."
"No Jack, what happens?" Daniel gazed up at him in confusion.
"You know, curses and things." O'Neill leaned up against the table watching the younger man's hands as he sat the thing down.
"Jack, have you been watching the History Channel again?" The younger man shook his head disparagingly. "You know what I told you about History's Mysteries."
"Hey, you're the one who got me started with it." Jack teased. "Doctor Aziz says..."
"Jack, the man quotes Budge, for God's sake."
"But seriously, Daniel, no rubbing...and don't look into its eyes either." O'Neill patted him on the shoulder. "It is Friday the 13th, you know. Remember what happened last year?"
"That was all a coincidence."
"Oh, yeah, I believe that! The elevator got stuck, you got stung by a bee and went into anal-phallic shock, Carter scratched her eye, and I sprained my knee. There were just too many things that went wrong."
"Look, why don't you go hunting for shamrocks and the little people and leave me to my work, okay. I'm here in my office. Nothing can happen to me." Daniel eyed him sourly.
"Don't you have some reports to write or something?"
"Fine, just fine. I'll go write my reports, just remember...."
"Yes, Jack...no rubbing the idol. Gottcha."
"Well, besides that, it's Friday night and you three are coming to my house tonight for pizza, beer and a video."
"Dare I ask what we're watching?"
"Well, it's Teal'cs turn to pick so...."
"Oh, got it...there's no predicting."
"I'm just glad Wormhole Extreme is in hiatus." Jack commented over his shoulder as he sauntered out of the office.
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Several hours later, Daniel was still studying the small statue. He'd determined that it was a female figure, perhaps an archaic Venus fertility symbol that predated the Hellenistic period. She was made of a metallic alloy that he wasn't familiar with, possibly a crude bronze. He have to have an analysis done. The markings on the pedestal were in a variation of an ancient Macedonian script. The earth tribes that were from this time period were matriarchal so it all fit together nicely.
The phone rang stridently from his desk across the room. Damn it, he thought crossly. This always happens right when I'm about to have a breakthrough. The archaeologist sat the little Venus on the tabletop right next to the computer tower and crossed over to the offending instrument. "Daniel." He rolled his eyes at the voice on the receiver. "Oh, hi Jack. What? Is it six already?" He went back to the table and slouched down on the stool, "Oh, you know, time flies when you're having fun." He frowned. "But, I'm so close to deciphering this writing...yes, yes, yada yada. Okay. Just stop by and get me on your way out. My car is still in the shop." He shook his head mournfully as he went back to the computer and picked up the small metal figure in his hand, absentmindedly rubbing his finger on the rounded belly. He sighed. "I just wish I had time to really get into this computer research..."
Suddenly, the room seemed to tilt on its end. Daniel swayed on his perch for a moment in time then disappeared. The phone and the statue both hit the concrete floor at the same time.
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A short time later, Colonel O'Neill tapped on the gray metal door that led into his friend's office. When there was no answer, he pushed it open. "Daniel? It's a quarter after six, are you ready to go?"
When there was no answer he entered the office. "Daniel? Daniel, come on I've got to stop at the class six store and get some beer. You can pick some expensive imported stuff for yourself if you want. Daniel?"
Then he spotted the phone and the statue lying on the floor by the table. He walked over and picked up the receiver and looked at it. When it didn't immediately tell him where Daniel was, he laid it on the table. Jack then looked down at the figurine lying on the floor. It seemed to be smiling up at him coyly, with a sort of Mona Lisa smirk. Frowning back at it he turned around in a circle visually searching for his missing archaeologist.
"Daniel? Danny, where are you?" Jack crossed the room and looked behind and under the overloaded desk. Next he checked under the throw blanket on the couch. The only thing there was the pillow sporting its request for a good fantasy. Still no sign of an over-zealous academic lying unconscious, in hiding or otherwise obscured.
Growing more concerned by the second; O'Neill strode across the office and down the hall to the washroom. He pushed open the door and stood in front of the row of stalls
"Daniel, are you in here?"
When he heard a commode flush, his hopes rose only to be dashed when Master Sergeant Siler came out of the cubicle. At the unhappy _expression on the Colonel's face, the NCO shook his head. "Sorry, Sir, I'm the only one in here. I haven't seen Doctor Jackson for several hours.
Jack shook his head. "I left him in his office around one o'clock. I haven't seen him either and he's kinda missing."
Siler went to the sink and began to wash his hands. "I think Doctor Lee was looking for him too, maybe he found him and they're together in his office."
"Thanks, Siler. I appreciate it."
"Yes, Sir, have a good weekend."
O'Neill nodded his head in acknowledgement. He went back to Daniel's office to use the phone.
As he stood at the desk, and dialed the numbers to the other scientist's extension, the computer announced. "You've got mail." Jack frowned at the machine and realized that the little idol was still lying on the floor. It looked as if it had been dropped. The phone had been on the floor, too. Glancing around the office again, his attention was caught by the omnipresent security camera hanging unobtrusively in the corner. Changing his mind he hit the disconnect button on the phone and dialed security. After telling the Security Forces Airman to pull the tape from Doctor Jackson's office for this afternoon he headed out the door and to the monitoring station. As he left the office the computer repeated mournfully "You've got mail...Jack."
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Colonel O'Neill was looking over Airman Castillo's shoulder and watching the videotape marked "Doctor J's office". It represented the last twelve hours of activity in the room, or rather the lack of it. It had started out nothing but darkened shadows, but at fast forward the tape revealed Daniel's morning routine of coffee-making, paperwork, research through several of the huge books that populated the shelves and more coffee-making. Daniel had received several visitors including Lou Ferretti who had presented him with the small statue that his team had found on their last mission. Nyan had visited and left bearing reports and folders, Carter had brought some donuts and Siler had shown up and repaired the thermostat. Then Lee had also come bearing papers and left carrying books. Jack himself had appeared briefly, talked about their team night and then left. O'Neill had noticed two things...one Daniel had not stopped for lunch and two Carter was his enabler by bringing in the pastries. He'd have to bitch at them both for their eating habits, or their apparent lack thereof.
Finally, the moment of truth had arrived. He watched as Daniel answered the phone, spoke briefly and settled back on the stool by his worktable. He had mumbled something and then...
POOF...he was gone!
Jack looked at the airman, "Did you see that?"
"See what, Sir?"
"Daniel, he poofed...he disappeared!" Jack said agitatedly.
"Uh, no, Sir, I guess I wasn't paying attention," the young man said in surprise. "Let me run that again."
"Yeah, why don'tcha." The two men concentrated on the small video screen. Once again, Daniel answered the phone, went back to the stool, mumbled something to the statue...
"Freeze it! Right there!" Jack admonished sharply. The film stopped immediately. "Can you zoom in...show me his hands?
Airman Castillo nodded, then started the film at half speed and zoomed, allowing them to focus on Jackson's slender long fingered hands as he held the metal object. "There! See! See what he's doing?"
"No, Sir. I don't..."
"He's rubbing the damned statue." Jack threw his hands up in the air. "I specifically told him not to rub the statue...but there it is. The man is incorrigible!"
As the airman watched in confusion, Colonel O'Neill stalked up and down the monitoring room. "Damn it, Daniel...!"
On cue, the door into the small room opened, and Major Samantha Carter and the warrior Teal'c entered just in time to be run down by a fuming O'Neill. They had been looking for both the Colonel and Daniel to make sure they were still on for the traditional Friday night's dinner and a movie. Then they'd found out from Siler that the Colonel was looking for Daniel. The trail had led them here.
"Sir? What's going on?" Carter asked as she dodged her enraged commanding officer.
"It's Daniel!" O'Neill announced dramatically, "He's done it again...he's disappeared."
"Danieljackson has vanished?" Teal'c asked concernedly.
"Poof! Just like that!" Jack threw his hands up in the air.
Carter looked at him oddly, then shook her head. "But Colonel, that's impossible!
Jack eyed her balefully. "Gee, ya think?" He motioned them over to the viewer. "Look!" Sure enough, when they watched the tape being played over again; the film Daniel walked to his desk and answered the phone. Then still carrying the cordless receiver he went back to the table and picked up the little statuette. Once again, sat down on his stool in front of the computer, gazed at the idol, said something, and... disappeared. The two objects that he had been holding in his hands fell to the floor and lay there forlorn.
Carter stared at the screen. She started to say, "That's impossible" again but at the expression on O'Neill's face she stopped. Instead she said to the airman, "Could you run that again in slow motion?"
Now, as they all watched the video, the Colonel once more made Airman Castillo zoom in on the agile hands of the archaeologist. "Look, he's done it again. He rubbed the damn statue and said something...I specifically told him not to rub the damn statue." After watching the archaeologist's vanishing act again, o"Neill Looked at his two remaining teammates and shook his head. "Let's go back to his office."
"Agreed, O'Neill, we should inspect the area closely." Teal'c intoned worriedly. He knew the same thing that the Colonel did. Their scholar was in deep trouble...yet again.
A short time later, the members of SG-1 were gathered in Daniel's office at the scene of the crime, casting about the area for clues. Sam picked up the phone and Teal'c the statue.
"Careful, big guy," Jack commented worriedly, "you don't want to join Daniel."
"Indeed, O'Neill, I in fact do wish to join Danieljackson. If I were with him, I might be able to prevent further harm from happening to him."
"Humm, that is a thought." Jack nodded dejectedly.
As they stood waiting for an epiphany to strike one of them, Carter perhaps, the computer announced in a familiar voice, "You've got mail...Jack."
O'Neill and company all looked at the computer monitor and its dancing Egyptian screensaver. Jack stepped closer and leaned down staring intently at the screen. "Daniel? Are you in there?"
"Sir, I don't think..."
Jack held his hand up for silence. He continued to study the computer on the table. "Daniel?"
"You've got mail...Jack." the tinny voice announced again.
"Daniel?"
"Perhaps if you used the e-mail program, O'Neill." The Jaffa suggested seriously.
Jack glanced back at Teal'c and nodded. He clicked on the envelope icon and opened the program. On the screen was a message addressed to Colonel J. O'Neill from Doctor D. Jackson. Jack clicked on it to open the note.
JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK? JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK? JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?JACK?
O'Neill hit the reply to sender icon then hurridly typed a message on the screen then hit send. DANIEL, IS THAT YOU IN THERE
YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES! YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES! YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!
CALM DOWN DANNY I SEE YOU I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED YOU DID SOMETHING WITH THE DAMNED STATUE DIDN'T YOU AND NOW YOURE IN THE COMPUTER
IDONTKNOWIDONTKNOWIDONTKNOWIDONTKNOW
DANIEL CALM DOWN CARTERS HERE TALK TO HER
Sam took over the keyboard. DANIEL, IS THAT YOU IN THERE?
SAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAM
DANIEL, WHAT DID YOU DO TO CAUSE THIS?
IDONTKNOWIDONTKNOWIDONTKNOWIDONTKNOW
DANIEL, YOU'VE GOT TO CALM DOWN...YOU'VE GOT TO THINK AND HELP ME FIGURE THIS OUT. YOU'VE GOT TO LISTEN TO ME OKAY?
OKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOK
DANIEL,CALM DOWN, YOU'RE REPEPEAING YOURSELF. I KNOW THAT YOU ARE SCARED, CALM DOWN SO WE CAN TALK, OKAY
OKSAM
THERE, THAT'S BETTER, NOW, WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
OK I WAS SITTING AT THE TABLE TRANSLATING THE INSCRIPTION ON THE STATUE
Carter looked over her shoulder at the Colonel. He nodded for her to continue.
THEN, WHAT HAPPENED?
THE PHONE RANG AND IT WAS JACK ABOUT TONIGHT HE SAID HE WAS COMING AT 6 TO GET ME SO WE COULD GO HOME TONIGHT AND EAT AND WATCH MOVIE
She nodded. THAT'S RIGHT, WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
I CAME BACK TO THE COMPUTER AND THEN I DONT REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carter looked back at O'Neill and prompted him. "Sir, what did the video show?"
"You know. Oh, okay." Jack realized that she wanted him to confirm what he had seen. He came back over here, and sat down on the stool." He frowned. "Danny was carrying the phone and the statue in his hands. Then he said something, I could see his mouth move, then...poof...he was gone." Jack looked at the computer. "Daniel... wait a minute." He leaned over the keyboard. and typed
DANIEL WHAT DID YOU SAY WHEN YOU SAT DOWN AT THE COMPUTER?
I DONT KNOW I DONT REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DANIEL YOUVE GOT TO THINK YOU SAID SOMETHING WHEN YOU SAT DOWN THEN YOU DISAPPEARED
I DISAPPEARED WHERES MY BODY STILL THERE OR IS IT IN THE CLINIC
Jack frowned and looked at Carter who shrugged. He shook his head and began to type again, hoping he was doing the right thing.
THERES NO BODY DANNY YOURE COMPLETELY GONE.
BODYGONENOBODYBODYGONENOBODY
Teal'c had been looking at the statue that he still held in his hand. "O'Neill, perhaps if we knew what the inscription on the figure said, it would shed some light on the subject."
Jack nodded, and bent to type again. Danny what does the writing say on the statue.
I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW
DANIEL YOURE NOT HELPING YOURE BABBLING WHAT DOES THE WRITING SAY
UH A DERIVITIVE OF ANCIENT MACEDONIAN ONLY GOT A FEW WORDS TRANSLATED BEFORE THIS HAPPENED
WHO WOULD KNOW WHAT THE WRITING SAYS WHO ELSE COULD TRANSLATE IT
There was a pause, then on the screen DOCTOR KEITOS AN EXPERT IN GREEK CULTURE
Jack looked at his remaining two teammembers. "He's the new geek in linguistics."
Teal'c nodded. "I will take this to Doctorkeitos and see if he can read the inscription." He turned and left, taking the little figurine with him.
O'Neill and Carter looked at each other, "Well, Carter, do you have any ideas?"
Sam shook her head. "Not a clue, Sir. What did you do when the alien entity took over my body and left me in the computer?"
Jack stared at her. "Well, to begin with, I killed you, well, not you, your body." At her look of disbelief, he continued. "But, we don't seem to have Daniel's remains to experiment with."
"Uh, no, Sir."
"Any other ideas?"
"Well, Sir." Carter got the concentrated look on her face that O'Neill knew so well. "I was thinking, what if we did a Boolean search? It may pull all of him back together and force the computer to produce him through the Stargate."
Jack looked at her in confusion. "How would it do that?"
"We could collate his program elements then hook this computer's hard drive up to the Stargate dialing computer. I could send it to the Gateroom and he might be reintegrated in the wormhole."
"You mean E-mail him back to us?" Jack shook his head. "I don't know, Carter. That sounds kinda risky to me."
"It's a chance, Sir. I just don't have any other ideas."
O'Neill looked very uncomfortable with the plan but he nodded. "Okay, I guess...go ahead..."
Carter sat down on the stool and typed in the command to open the Internet. She typed 'Daniel Jackson, PhD, MS', in the google search and then hit the enter button. Nothing appeared to happen. Then slowly a series of links appeared on the screen. Most of them were articles written by Daniel between the years of 1980 through 1985. There were a few after that by other people who were either attacking or defending his salient points. A few mentioned Martians and men from Atlantis.
"Try talking to him again; see if he feels anything."
"Sir, I don't think he would feel..."
"Just try it, okay!"
Carter nodded and reopened the e-mail program. She typed in the question
DANIEL, IS ANYTHING HAPPENING?
There was no response.
DANIEL, CAN YOU FEEL ANYTHING HAPPENING?
There was still no response.
DANIEL? DANIEL? ARE YOU STILL THERE?
"Uh, Sir, he doesn't seem to be responding."
"I can see that, Carter!" He reached in front of her and closed then reopened the e-mail program.
DANIEL ARE YOU THERE DANIEL SAY SOMETHING DANIEL DANNY
Jack slammed his fist on the table next to the monitor. "CRAP! We lost him!"
"No! Sir, we couldn't have!" Sam shoved his hands aside and typed in some commands in what appeared to be gibberish to O'Neill. "I'm going to use DEMETER to locate him, then we can figure...oh, shit!"
"Carter! Oh shit? What the hell did we do?"
"I seem to have uprooted his erm, program." She looked up at him obviously unnerved. "I can't find him."
"Crap! Can you find him again?" They exchanged horrified looks.
"I...I'll find him Sir. I will, I just have to...I need some time." She turned back to the computer keyboard. "No, this won't...no... shitshitshit...."
For over three hours, Jack paced back and forth and around the office while Carter continued to bang the keyboard in a determined manner. Finally, she turned and looked at him with slumped shoulders. "Sir, I just don't know...it shouldn't have done this."
O'Neill could see she was almost in tears due to frustration. He knew exactly how she felt.
"Any suggestions?"
"We could reboot the system," she said hesitantly.
Jack looked dubious, "I don't know. What do you think will happen?"
"Maybe he'll show up somewhere else intact."
"Or maybe, it will delete him." O'Neill looked at her skeptically, shaking his head. "I don't think that would be a good idea."
"Oh, right." She looked at him wretchedly. "Sir, I just don't know."
They spent the rest of the evening trying to determine what actions they should take next. They tried several things, none of which brought anything to light. Carter kept questioning O'Neill as to what they had done when the alien entity had traded places with her. They finally determined that that was of no use because Sam had still had her body to come back to. Daniel was for all intents and purposes, gone, not even the excerpts on the monitor screen remained.
Teal'c had returned and he, at least, had some good news. Doctor Keitos had been able to translate the inscription and the wording was, at the very least, suspicious. He had identified the little idol as Gaea, the earth goddess. The meaning of the inscription was along the line of 'be careful what you wish for as it may come true'.
Finally, in the early morning hours, O'Neill made Carter stop. They were doing no good, and he was hoping that she would think of something in the morning after a few hours of sleep. She'd gone unhappily to her lab to grab some shuteye and Teal's had retreated to his quarters for rest and meditation.
Jack himself had determined that he would spend the night here in Daniel's office. The brown Naugahyde couch had served as his bed for many nights of exhaustion and worry in times past. It would do again for tonight.
As he shifted under the throw blanket, he plumped the small pillow grinning wryly at the quote emblazoned on it 'I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy'. He'd found it in a catalogue and gotten it for Daniel's birthday last July. Looking at it for a moment, he tucked it under his head and tried to get what rest he could.
As he drifted off into a fitful sleep, Jack began to dream. He dreamed he was at his grandparents' cabin in Minnesota. But he was a Colonel, an adult, wearing his BDU uniform which he'd never worn there. His old Granny O'Neill was sitting on the back steps. She appeared just as he remembered her, wearing her old blue house dress that had matched her eyes and her long white hair was braided in pigtails that went to her waist. She had a bowl on her lap and was snapping green beans into a bowl, something she liked to do on warm summer afternoons. He told her about his best friend Daniel and how he was stuck in a computer because he said something while holding a statue. Granny looked at him knowingly and replied to him that if he wanted his friend back he should go and find a four-leaf clover to wish for him to come back.
Jack woke with a start. He had turned the lights out in the office so all he could see was the computer itself, illuminated by the Egyptians who continued to dance across the screen to the silent music only they could hear. He threw off the blanket and crossed over to the table and turned on the desk lamp. Jack looked skeptically at the small bronze statue as it gleamed dully in the monitor's dim light.
Reaching carefully for the idol, he warily picked it up. Not believing he was about to do what he was going to, he palmed the statue and examined the rotund naked female form. The face was almost blank with only indentations for features. Lines carved down the back represented long hair. Feeling a little silly and a lot nervous, Jack gently rubbed the figure's round belly. As his fingers performed the motions he was deciding how to frame his request. He thought he had to be careful of the wording or the whole thing could blow up in his face, literally and figuratively.
Continuing to rub the idol, he chose his words carefully. "I wish Daniel to be back the way he was, to come back home to me."
For a long second nothing happened, then suddenly in the blink of an eye, Daniel was lying on the floor at O'Neill's feet, curled in a fetal position.
Jack immediately crouched down by his friend, checking for breathing and heartbeat. There was none. Worried now, he rolled Daniel over onto his back and immediately started CPR.
After a few breaths, the man on the floor began to react to the treatment. Daniel gagged, retched and coughed, then began to breathe. Jack rolled him over to his left side in the recovery position. He worriedly checked for a pulse and found it had begun spontaneously with his breathing.
O'Neill sat back on his heels, relieved. He continued to pat Daniel firmly on the back until the spasms and coughing stopped. The blue eyes finally fluttered open and tried to focus on him.
Jack leaned down to be in his friend's line of sight. "Hey, there. You back with me?"
Daniel stared at him from the floor with the blank look that indicated that he was thinking. "Uh, erm." He cleared his throat. "Hum, Jack?"
"Oh, yeah, there you are." Jack smiled and helped him up to a sitting position.
"Jack I had the weirdest dream." Daniel began to talk almost immediately after becoming upright.
"Daniel, that was no dream, it was a nightmare!" Jack stood up for a moment then bent down to give him a hand up. "Come on, let's get you checked out."
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In the clinic, Doctor Janet Fraiser was going over Daniel with a vengeance. "He was where?"
"In the computer." Jack declared as he leaned on a gurney and played with a bag of saline.
"And why did you do that?" She was addressing her patient when Sam Carter came skidding into the clinic, with Teal'c arriving moments later at an apparently more sedate pace.
"DANIEL! THANK GOD!" Carter stopped short of the exam table. Janet stepped back as Sam slung her arms around her friend in an enthusiastic hug. "Holy Hannah, Daniel, I thought I'd killed you."
Daniel returned her hug comfortingly. "No, Sam, I'm just fine... really. Janet..."
"Yes, he's apparently done it again." Fraiser pulled the stethoscope off of her neck and laid it on the counter. "And how did this happen...again?"
"Well, I was examining a small statue that SG-3 had found and...I uh, evidently I rubbed it and voiced an ill-considered wish. I wanted to get more into my computer research...and it uh, put me there."
"I've told you about rubbing statues and things." Jack commented from the gurney. "Maybe now you'll take me seriously."
"Indeed, Danieljackson," Teal'c observed dryly. "One should always be careful what you wish for. It may come true."
END OF THE GEN STORY