Tony feels entirely fucking excellent right now. He's just saved the world and that's a far better excuse for a party than most. He's got a beer in his hand and is laughing his ass off at Thor trying to teach everyone an Asgard drinking song, which seems to involve a lot of singing in the round and improvised middle eights in which you are meant to sing out all of your deeds of valour.
Steve's putting in a good effort, singing a not-quite-rhyming verse about his battles with the Red Skull to a tune that's rapidly descending into Glenn Miller. By the time Steve's singing about 'any time, any place, I've punched Hitler in the face' Tony can't stay upright any more and collapses onto a sofa, cackling.
When the singing finally fades down, he looks around the room, a room that is full of startling hot superheroes. "One of you should totally make out with me right now," he announces. "I did just save the world, after all."
Thor turns to him, his eyes glinting. "You were most valiant indeed today, my friend," he says. "We should all pay homage to your courage."
"That's what I'm talking about," Tony says, eyeing Thor up appreciatively as he approaches.
He's not prepared for Thor scooping him off the sofa entirely and dipping him backwards. Tony squeaks a bit as he finds himself bending in new and unexpected directions, and then Thor is full-on dipping him and planting a big, wet, scruffy kiss right on his mouth.
"Mmph," Tony says appreciatively, and clutches Thor's arms, groping his biceps just a little, because who wouldn't? Thor gives as good as he gets, grabbing Tony's ass.
There's a murmur above him, and then Thor's letting him go, and he falls backwards for a second before someone catches him, and he's spun round to face Steve, who's grinning at him.
"My captain!" Tony declares, and Steve rolls his eyes but he kisses him too so Tony figures that Steve really has started to find him endearing rather than profoundly annoying. Maybe it's a mixture of the two, but he'll take it. And my, is that a little tongue there from America's poster boy?
"Hmm yes, very good," Tony says when Steve pulls away, looking flushed. "Top of the class, though I'm happy to offer extra tuition if you want."
"I will bear that in mind," Steve says with a laugh, then he shoves Tony away and there are more hands on him and what is this, some sort of awesome superhero kissing gangbang? Tony loves his life sometimes.
Clint's up next, his eyes narrowed at Tony as if in warning that this gesture shouldn't be interpreted as some kind of sign of affection or anything. Whatever, Clint totally likes him, Tony can tell.
"Show me what you've got, Katniss," Tony says.
"Katniss?" Clint blinks. "Seriously?"
"Katniss is a total badass," Tony points out. "What's the matter, uncomfortable with comparisons to strong female characters?"
"Well she's better than a fucking elf, I'll give you that much. Now shut up."
Tony does, because now Clint's kissing him too, and Tony's mouth starting to feel slick and stretched and really good from all these lips and teeth and tongues. Clint is right on target, kissing Tony deep and hot for a minute before pulling away, and dragging a whimpering noise out of Tony along with him.
"Now then," says Natasha, watching Tony with dark, promising eyes. "Why don't I show the rest of you how it's done."
"Please do," Tony says.
She wraps her arms around his shoulders and leans in slowly, her mouth millimetres from his for agonising seconds before they touch. Tony's mouth falls open for her but she takes her time, licking her way into his mouth and digging her fingers into his hips. Natasha kisses like she does everything else - calculated, in control, almost unbearably hot. She pulls away and licks her lips and pats his head.
He's ridiculously wrung out and no one's even touched him below the belt. "Bruce, babe, help me out here," he says, and then Bruce's cool, firm hands are on his shoulders, pushing him back down onto the sofa, where he collapses gladly.
"Just so you know," Tony says tonight, "if at least one of you doesn't fuck me tonight I may actually die. Have a heart--hnngh."
He's cut off by Bruce's mouth on his. Bruce's kiss is closed, soft, gentle, and it's enough to make Tony's breath slow a little, the frantic thudding of his heart calming down to a low, insistent thrum. He tangles his hand in Bruce's hair and anchors himself again.
Bruce draws away and strokes his face, looking down at him with fond, warm amusement. Tony grins back up at him. "I'm not kidding about the fucking, guys," he says to the room at large. "Pepper's out of town visiting her girlfriend and really that is terrible timing."
He looks pleadingly up Bruce.
Bruce looks around the room, and he seems to like what he sees because his face lights up in a crooked, conspiratorial smile. "We'll see what we can do," he promises, and kisses Tony's cheek.