A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
Four thousand years before
the rise of the Galactic
Empire, the Republic verges
on collapse. DARTH MALAK,
last surviving apprentice of
the DARK LORD REVAN, has
unleashed an invincible
Sith armada upon an
Crushing all resistance,
Malak's war of conquest
has left the Jedi Order
scattered and vulnerable
as countless Knights fall in
battle, and many more
swear allegiance to the new
In the skies above the Outer
Rim world of Taris, a Jedi
battle fleet engages the
forces of Darth Malak in a
desperate effort to halt the
Sith's galactic domination...
Racra Ulwhe wakes in her bunk. Turbolaser fire flashes outside as Sith fighters streak by the viewport. An explosion rocks the ship, and Trask Ulgo runs in.
Trask Ulgo: You're awake! Good, they're trying to board the ship. Grab your weapons!
Racra Ulwhe: Who's trying to board the ship? What ship? What the hell have I been drinking? I don't remember a thing.
The Endar Spire, of course! We were transporting Jedi Bastila to the Council, but we were attacked by the Sith.
Right, got my weapons. Let's go!
Man, it's amazing the Sith are as powerful as they are! I mean, all they're using is swords.
Pretty underwhelming against our, y'know, blasters.
Hey, that Sith has a glowing sword! At least he's trying, right?
Darth Bandon: GANK.
Carth Onasi: Hey! You! The escape pods are over here.
Anything to get away from the guy with the laser sword. Eject!
The escape pod bursts away from the Endar Spire and falls to Taris. The brutal impact knocks Racra out, but Carth drags her clear. Racra remains unconscious for several days, during which Carth secures a well-furnished apartment for them in Taris Upper City, certainly obtained with entirely legitimate funds. Racra is wracked by visions...
...before coming to.
The planet. We didn't have a chance to get introduced. I'm Carth, and I brood with unrevealed angst.
Want to talk about it?
*smolders with angst* So, who are you?
I'm Racra Ulwhe, soldier of the Republic.
When did you come on board?
I don't actually remember...anything before I woke up.
Must have gotten pretty banged up. Anyway, we'd better try to find Bastila. I saw her escape pod launch, so she must be here somewhere. Her battle meditation is necessary if we're going to win the war against the Sith, so we need to find her and get the hell off this planet.
Looks like Taris is occupied by the Sith. It won't be easy, but let's get the lay of the land.
Upper Taris City is pretty enough, but has a notable absence of aliens and presence xenophobic citizenry. A quick interrogation of the local populace reveals that another escape pod crashed in the Undercity. To get to that, one has to pass through Lower Taris, which is under lockdown by the Sith.
How can we possibly find a way past the Sith guards?
Hive of scum and villainy, here we come!
The cantina is very cantina-y. Bith band, dancing Twi'lek women, Hutt crime lord, etc. There's even gladiatorial dueling.
Gladiator fights! That offends my sense of righteousness!
It's barbaric, but what can you do?
...well, if they're gladiators, they're probably bad people, right?
You could argue that.
A NEW CHALLENGER HAS ENTERED THE RING!
Easy Gladiator: Excuse me miss, have you seen my—
Kinda Hard Gladiator: Echuda!
Huh, you actually don't get dark side points for killing Jawas.
Hard Gladiator: I'm generically tough!
Sith Officer: Hi there. I was so impressed by your brutally slaughtering all those NPCs that I'd like to invite you to an awesome Sith party tonight.
Don't we hate the Sith? I burn with repressed hatred for them!
Later, at the awesome Sith party...
Sith Officer: All I'm saying is, the galaxy could use fewer people. We're really just trying to help out.
Quite, quite! And after we've killed off all the extra people, I say we round up "fun" and kill that too.
You know who hated fun? Darth Revan.
I soil myself at the very name.
Just out of curiosity, what proof is this alcohol?
Er...three, maybe four hundred?
Well, I guess we've got some uniforms now.
Yeah. Make sure you turn 'em on their sides. I don't want to pick up any dark side points from this.
Racra and Carth make their way to the lower city, walking past the Sith guards at the elevator. Once there, they're almost immediately involved in a swoop gang war.
Hidden Bek Racer: When you're a Bek you're a Bek all the way!
Black Vulkar Racer: No way! Vulkars for life!
Can someone point me in the direction of someone with an actual name?
Man, I hope there's a cantina down here.
In fact, there is. Upon entering, Racra witnesses a confrontation...
Rodian Thug: Hey, Nord, I heard you were pretty tough! Want to prove it?
Calo Nord: One.
Hah! You can't scare me by counting!
Draw your weapon and let's fight!
C'mon, pull out your bla—
Man, I hope he becomes a party member.
Lemme ask. Hey, how do you feel about joining parties?
Okay, right, moving on.
Mission Vao: Hey, I'm a spunky Twi'lek girl. You can tell I'll be important later on because I have a unique name and an interesting Wookiee buddy!
Oh, thanks for reminding me, Big Z! Also, by Twi'lek standards I'm dressed like a nun! That's sure unique.
Right. Okay. I know I'm here for a purpose...ooh, sidequest!
Anonymous Twi'lek Dancer: Hello! I'm an Anonymous Twi'lek Dancer! Oh, please, won't you help me?
Sure! What can I do for you?
My dancing partner has been detained by the Sith. I simply must have a partner if I'm to audition for a job here! Can you dance with me?
...is this sidequest even available for male PCs?
But you've got to do it! Think of the XP! Think of the fans! ...and the service thereof!
Screw it. We out.
Racra and a disappointed Carth explore the corridors of Lower Taris, eventually coming upon the Hidden Bek's not-so-hidden base.
Hey, can we come inside?
Hidden Bek Guard: No way! This is our base.
Gadon Thek: Hi, I'm the leader of the Hidden Bek. Your buddy Bastila was captured by the Black Vulkar, so I guess you want to be my friend now because I know where she is. Also, I have a sympathetic story about how the leader of the Vulkar, Brejik, used to be like a son to me but got greedy and betrayed me to start his own gang.
There's a chase we can be cutting to right now.
Too true. I'm willing to help you get your friend back. All you need to do is win the next swoop tournament.
Waitaminute. You mean like she's a prize?
No way. No. Damn. Way. She's a goddamn Jedi Knight!
Sweetie, right now she's a plot device. Anyway, in order to make sure you win, we need you to steal a super-special accelerator from the Vulkar base in the Undercity.
So now I'm not only trying to win a woman, but I'm also cheating to do it?
That's the long and the short of it, yeah.
This deeply conflicts with my light side tendencies.
Makes for a more dramatic RPG. We should grab one of those named characters from before to help us out. Which do you want, the Twi'lek or the Wookiee?
I think you're already filling our "hairy beast" quota, Carth.
Soon after, in the Undercity...
GANK GANK GANK GANK
Don't you worry that all this killing will influence your alignment?
Nope! I'm righteous!
The Black Vulkars don't really seem to be defending their base OH WOW THERE THEY ARE.
How did they even get a rancor in here?
GANK. Okay, we need this accelerator, but as a Good Person I can't steal it. Mission, you take it.
What? Why me?
Your class is "Scoundrel." Clearly you don't have much further to fall.
.l.. ^__^ ..l.
You're back! And alive at that. Well, you ready to get your start in the world of illegal racing/slave trading?
Start your engines!
On the track...
GO SPEED RACER GO!
The prize Bastila is presented, perhaps not at her best:
Bastila Shan: What the hell TOOK YOU SO LONG?
Brejik: Hold it! I accuse the Hidden Bek champion of using the special accelerator, which is not only against race rules but also stolen!
You're right, you're right. We're busted, guys. Brejik, I'm really sorry for any trouble I've caused you. Stealing wasn't right, and I should forfeit my win.
Sweetie, there's light side and there's stupid.
I don't want any dark side points!
Please notice that I have a double-bladed lightsaber. Do you have a double-bladed lightsaber? No, you don't. That means I'm in charge now.
The party returns to Carth's improbably nice apartment. Racra crashes for a quick nap, but is assailed by visions...
So you've been here for nearly a week, and all you've managed to do is commit homicide dozens of times over, breaking and entering, larceny...
I'm fairly certain it's not homicide if you're just killing aliens.
Hey, Bastila? I've been having the damnedest dreams where you're facing off against somebody evil.
...you don't say?
I do say.
Well, you must be...the only explanation is that you're Force sensitive. And because of that, you've formed a Force bond with me. And, er...are stealing my memories. Stop doing that. Have you ever been tested for Force potential?
Hard to tell, I've got a bad case of RPG amnesia.
We'll have to do something about it, just as soon as we get off this planet.
Canderous Ordo: Hello! I look ASTONISHINGLY like Duke Nukem.
In that I'm gruff and like to kill things, not in that I'm blatantly hypersexual and fueled by misogyny.
That's a relief.
I've never quite been this sexually intimidated before.
Charming. So, what are you here for?
I'm a Mandalorian, of the noble Clan Ordo. I want off of this planet. My life here as a bodyguard is beneath me!
Mandalorian, huh? You guys have been a buncha pussies ever since the Republic kicked your asses.
Oh, please. We were ROLLING on the Republic. We gave your soldiers to our children as playthings. It wasn't the Republic that kicked our asses, it was Revan.
But why did Darth Revan fight you?
This was back when Revan fought for the Republic.
Yeah, you see...Revan was kinda a Jedi who didn't agree with the Council's decision to stay out of the Mandalorian War. Many other young, impressionable Jedi like Malak also defied the Council.
We were pretty much ready to take over the Republic before Revan showed up and started winning. In five years the war turned around completely, and Revan personally killed Mandalor Ultimate and broke the clans.
What happened then?
Revan took the Republic fleet and chased the shattered Mandalorians into Unknown Space. Soon after, those fleets returned as Sith and began a new war against the Republic.
The Jedi Civil War?
Revan and Malak broke away from the Council and were no longer Jedi. Therefore it cannot be a civil war.
Anyway, I want to leave this planet. To do that, we need to get the codes out of the Sith base. Fortunately, I've got a special hacking droid who can do it.
T3-M3: Whistle squeeeeee!
Okay, we'll need a team of our toughest people...
My smoldering hatred for the Sith—
Oh, move over.
Do you have a lightsaber?
That's what I thought.
Soon, in the Sith base...
KILL KILL KILL!
GANK GANK GANK!
LOOT LOOT LOOT!
Sith Apprentice: Face me, do-gooders! When I defeat you, I shall earn my lightsaber from my master!
Are you kidding?
Hey, Bastila, you know what they call a Dark Jedi without a lightsaber?
Got the codes!
Meanwhile, in high orbit...
Darth Malak: Okay. Let me see if I've got this right.
Admiral Saul Karath: Shoot.
I'm a very busy galactic overlord. And I didn't rise to the position of Dark Lord of the Sith by not having my underlings obey me.
I think you rose to the position of Dark Lord by backstabbing Darth Revan while in the midst of fighting Jedi.
With turbolasers at that. Earned style points for overkill. And now I'm the Dark Lord. I very specifically ordered an attack on the Endar Spire because...?
You wanted Bastila Shan dead.
Right. And Bastila Shan is...
Currently not dead, according to the sports page.
That's an issue for me. And I really only see one way to handle it.
Blockade the planet, tighten the occupation, and deploy your dark apprentices to scour the surface for her?
HAH! No, Revan was the smart one, not me. I want you to bomb the entire planet flat.
It's just that bombing planets is kinda a sore point. It gives people smoldering resentments towards you. And, well, you only get one homeworld, sir.
Well, I guess it's fortunate that's no longer a problem for you. Seriously, get bombing.
Back on Taris...
By the way, the ship I want to steal belongs to my crimelord boss.
That's not ethical!
Ethical shmethical, we're leaving and we're going to Dantooine.
We'll get dark side points for stealing!
Again, which one of us has the lightsaber?
Hey, look, it's raining!
That's true, I've never seen rain catch fire before.
The droid's right, run!
Okay, look. I know you're probably a pretty big deal in your little bounty hunter circles or whatever.
But you may have noticed the lightsaber I'm holding. The lightsaber means I get what I want. Do you want to make the lightsaber angry?
That looked unnecessarily painful.
There's the Ebon Hawk! Yoink!
Ebon Hawk: ZOOM!