Arriving on set, I fully expect to see Jensen there, sitting in his director’s chair with his customary venti-sized coffee cup in one hand and today’s script in the other. I can count the number of times I’ve arrived on set before Jensen on the fingers of one hand, and every single one has been when I’ve shot solo-scenes. I may be the one dragging Jensen out of bed at the weekend, but the days we’re shooting, you don’t notice any sign of how much of a morning person he isn’t. Probably because the coffee cup is practically glued to his hand between shots. It feels weird, to say the least, to be here without him, kinda like when I broke my arm and couldn’t use it properly for a few weeks.
Without even thinking about it, I start looking for him, because maybe it’s me who’s late and Jensen is already in make-up? But no, the make-up trailer turns out empty, as does the wardrobe trailer and Jensen’s private trailer.
“You looking for Jensen?” I hear Eric’s voice behind me. Just as I’m about to spin around and answer, I see Jensen’s car drive in through the gates and pull to a stop in his private parking spot. Before he’s even turned off the engine, I’m moving towards the car, and as soon as he’s closed the door behind him I take him by surprise and we both tumble to the ground.
I can feel as much as hear Jensen gasping for breath and my eyes immediately zero in on Jensen’s lips. He really does have the most amazing and kissable lips I have ever seen, I have to agree with the fangirls on that. I know the fangirls talk about us kissing - after my slip in that interview all those months ago it’s all over the internet. (Yes, I read the blogs and forums, so what? How else am I supposed to keep up with what’s going on?). I can even hear their voices in my head right now, it’s like they’re chanting for me to Kiss him. Kiss him. Kiss him. I’m thinking they may be on to something.
There’s this look in Jensen’s eyes, and I’m almost sure that he wants nothing more than to kiss me too. A second later though it’s replaced by a look of uncertainty, of doubt. Before I can tell myself the right thing to do is to take the first step (because Jensen really is as shy as people think he is) there’s a shadow falling over us. It’s enough to remind me of where we are and how much of a bad idea this is, and almost before I realize it, I’m halfway to the trailer, already regretting my decision.
I wish I was even half as impetuous as people seem to think I am. Appearances are deceiving though.