Inias was on a mission to find Balthazar. Rumors had reached Heaven that Balthazar was not dead, as they’d been lead to believe, but actually taking refuse on Earth, possibly with a cache of stolen weapons. Finding an angel that doesn’t want to be found is no easy task, but even the best forget themselves in moments of weakness.
Inias first sensed him in an abandoned ballroom in Belize. It was little more than a faint blip on his radar, but any lead was better than none. He appeared in the middle of the dance floor. The lights were low and there was music playing, but Balthazar was nowhere to be seen. Inais reached out with his grace and silenced the music. He could faintly hear sounds of life coming from a broom closet in one corner. He strode purposely towards it and threw open the door. The sight made him freeze.
Balthazar was there, wearing a long blond vessel, but he was not alone. He was kneeling in front of another one of their brothers—Castiel. Inias had not expected to find him on Earth, with the civil war going on above. He was wearing the vessel Inias recognized, but he was stripped of clothing from the waist down, flushed and panting and making the noises Inias had heard from the dance floor. When he spotted Inias, his eyes went large and he squeaked a weak “Oh.”
Balthazar might have said something too, but his mouth was otherwise occupied. One of the two, probably Balthazar, flung the door closed with a twitch of grace, and Inias could hear a brief scramble inside before they both emerged, now fully clothed.
“Well, this is awkward,” Balthazar began, “let’s sit, shall we?” He snapped his fingers and a table and chairs appeared before them.
Inias stared at the both of them with a silent horrified confusion as they took their seats. Balthazar merely smiled at him; Castiel stared at the ground.
Balthazar cleared his throat and spoke again. “Now, I’m sure you have some questions—“
Inias interrupted him. “Brothers, I don’t understand. I’ve heard of humans doing such things, but us?”
“Well you see—“
Inias kept going without pause, “But such things are designed for reproduction, something you should not concern yourselves with in human vessels unless in special circumstances.”
“Oh, but that’s—“
“And furthermore, both your vessels are male so I don’t see how that would even enter into the equation.”
“Are you quite finished?” Balthazar asked when Inias stopped to take a breath.
“Um, I guess, yes.” Inias replied.
“Right. In that case, allow us to explain. You’re long past due for ‘the talk’, don’t you agree, Cas?”
Castiel fiddled with his hands and made a noncommittal noise.
“He agrees,” Balthazar continued, “Anyhow, listen. What you just spied Cassie and I doing in the closet, that’s called a blowjob. They’re amazing, and I sincerely hope you find someone willing to give you one someday. I’d volunteer, but—“ Castiel suddenly shot Balthazar a look and he just laughed. “But I’m a one angel kind of guy. They have nothing to do with reproduction. They just feel bloody amazing, am I right, Cas?”
Castiel continued to glare at Balthazar as his cheeks flushed red.
“And when two people trust each other like Cas here and I do, they like to share them with each other. Sex too. Simple!”
Inias stared at them like they were crazy, which, in his gut opinion, they probably were. “And you two…sex…often?” he ventured.
“Oh all the bloody t—“
“Never when it would compromise Heaven.” Castiel cut Balthazar off with a kick under the table. “Like Balthazar said, it’s about trust. Being close physically can strengthen a bond between you.”
“But Castiel, Balthazar faked his own death. He ran away from Heaven, he probably stole a lot of our most valuable weapons, how can you trust him?”
“Balthazar has agreed to give me the weapons.”
“In exchange for sex?”
Castiel frowned and became even more red in the face. “No, it wasn’t like that at all, I—“
Balthazar laughed. “I’m sure he didn’t mean to imply you whored yourself to me, Cassie…”
“I don’t understand…” Inias began.
“That’s another conversation for another day, don’t you think?” Balthazar said, hushing Castiel with a touch to his arm. “Now, I know I speak for both of us when I say we’d appreciate you not sharing this with the rest of the garrison. I appreciate a juicy bit of gossip as much as the next angel, but—“
“I doubt they’d believe me even if I told them. I still don’t quite believe it myself. But as long as the weapons are back safe, I suppose that’s what really matters. I’ll, um, leave you to it.”
Inias fled before the two of them started at it again. It wasn’t that he wasn’t curious—actually quite to the contrary, he was very curious—but that was precisely what worried him. Just when he thought he’d figured out the whole using-human-vessels thing, too.
He was supposed to report directly to Heaven the moment he knew about Balthazar’s whereabouts, but he decided to wait a few hours. He may not know much about sex, but he was familiar with the term “cockblock,” and suddenly, it made a whole lot more sense.