Stairway To Heaven
Some people would say he is blessed before his birth – but he thinks it is more a curse.
Do you know what it’s like, to be the one in charge when you’re only four?
When you just saw your house burn down in front of your eyes, knowing your mother was still in it?
Do you know what it’s like, to have to carry your six-month old brother out of your house, watching it burn – and your childhood with it?
They say his father raises him like a soldier – still a child, but in fact not anymore. He doesn’t really care. He has one mission, only one: watching for Sammy. He doesn’t want to screw that up. Sammy doesn’t know what it’s like to have a real childhood, so he is trying to give him one. He is not sure he succeeds in that, but at least, he tries – hard enough to have his baby brother smiling and laughing when he sees him.
Do you know what it’s like, to see your baby brother almost dying in front of you because you were getting bored, locked in a motel room?
Do you know what it’s like, to see disappointment in your father’s eyes?
Do you know what it’s like, to feel like you nearly screwed up your mission?
They say he is becoming a good hunter – a dangerous one. They whisper it when they are sure his father can’t hear it – because he doesn’t want his children in the family business, no, he doesn’t, but it’s not like he had any choice, right? So better prepare his kids the best way possible – but he knows what they say.
Dean wishes he could drop high school yet but his father won’t hear a word about it – who knows what could attack Sammy if he isn’t here? So he sticks around.
Once, they stay in the same place for a good couple of weeks: he is grateful when they leave (his girlfriend told him something he really didn’t want to think about) but Sammy regrets it – after being the one complaining at first. Funny how situations change, right?
(He doesn’t know one day, years later, they will be back here for a sad case of a ghost – usual job, but bringing a lot of memories.)
Do you know what it’s like, to be the one looking after your baby brother and your own father?
Do you know what it’s like, to feel already so tired before your baby brother even graduates high school?
Dropping up high school is a relief: finally, he can concentrate all his energy on hunting things, saving people, looking after Sammy.
He meets Lisa Braeden: it is the bendiest weekend of his life. He knows how to enjoy the little things life can offer to him.
He feels good.
And then he doesn’t anymore.
Do you know what it’s like, when your brother runs away from you to go to college?
Do you know what it’s like, to have to wear a mask all the time to not let other people know what is going on inside your head?
Do you know what it’s like, when your brother doesn’t even want to talk to you?
During the two years when Sammy won’t even talk to him, he meets the lovely Cassie Robinson. It’s the first time he lets himself fall for someone like her – it’s the first time he feels this way for someone who isn’t part of his family. And when he finally has to go, he tells her the truth – and things go bad, of course they do. He leaves heartbroken, decided not to let anyone come close to him this way again.
Do you know what it’s like, to pull your brother away from a house on fire one more time, knowing it’s – again – a loved one on the ceiling?
Do you know what it’s like, to feel like a new nightmare just begins – and your father isn’t even here to help this time?
He is back on the road with his brother. Things are a bit weird at first, even if they fall in the same good old routine without too many difficulties.
They are still bonding in a new way – oh, how much he and Sam have changed during the last few years – when they discover there is actually a weapon available to kill the demon who killed their mom and Jessica.
Stanford is still an issue between them until they finally get a hand on The Colt – and on their father in the same time.
They are supposed to kill the demon – and everything goes wrong wrong wrong. He breaks under the demon’s words, calling for his father – and they don’t manage to kill him once John is in control again and before Azazel leaves his body.
They almost die on their way to the hospital.
Do you know what it’s like, to be in charge to kill your brother if he turns “bad”?
Do you know what it’s like, to be still alive because your own father made a deal with a demon to keep you alive – alive to kill the most important person of your world if things go wrong?
He has difficulties to stay strong for Sam, but somehow, he manages to do it. He finally tells him what their father’s final words were – and what is waiting for his baby brother. They really don’t know what to do, between Sam’s powers growing up and the demons still looking for them – especially Meg and Azazel, her “father”. (Can demons even have a family? Not that really matters for Dean, because he is ready to do everything to protect the only one he has left.)
They start being tracked down by the FBI – the whole situation is becoming heavier and heavier on Dean’s shoulders, but he keeps holding on for Sam – and only for him.
He is ready to give up on the job after all.
But Fate doesn’t agree with that.
Do you know what it’s like, to sell your soul to have your brother alive at your side one more year?
Do you know what it’s like, to see your little brother getting stabbed in the back by someone like him, to hold him while he is bleeding to death, his body becoming heavier and colder on yours?
At least they manage to kill Azazel – their mother and Jessica and probably many more people are at least avenged.
This is a bittersweet year. A demon chick is hanging out around them, fixing The Colt so it can kill everything and giving them a knife which can kill demons too. They don’t trust her, but she can be useful.
Dean knows his deal can’t be broken – even if they try everything they can, but Ruby confirms it, there is no escape.
He dies in the arms of his brother – somehow, it’s like he finally failed to protect him.
Do you know what it’s like to be in Hell?
Do you know what it’s like to be the one who breaks the first seal?
Everything is so wrong now, he doesn’t even know what to begin with.
Sam is still using his powers – they are getting stronger and stronger, pushing him on a dark path, the only one where from he was supposed to prevent his baby brother from going.
They are now in the middle of a war between angels and demons – they are supposed to stop Lilith from breaking the sixty six seals to free Lucifer from Hell.
Lucifer. From Hell.
And Ruby is still around them – poisoning Sam’s mind with lies and half-truths when angels are trying to convince him to give up on his baby brother.
There is an angel around them too – Castiel can say what he wants to, but he is still following Heaven’s orders. Dean can’t really trust him, not now.
Do you know what it’s like, to almost lose your brother in freeing Lucifer from hell?
Do you know what it’s like, to have a demon blood addict for a brother?
Do you know what it’s like, to have to rebuild the most trusting relationship you ever had?
They manage to avert the Apocalypse, but the price is far too high to pay: Sam is stuck in the Pit with two really angry Archangels and the Winchesters’ younger half-brother.
This is hell on earth for Dean now – his last few friends are either dead or kept pushed away.
Sam’s faith on his big brother has always been the last thing stopping him to give up after all.
Funny how love between two human brothers is enough to interrupt the fight between two angel brothers – too bad for them they never include it on their big plans.
Do you know what it’s like to spend one year like a living-dead?
Do you know what it’s like to spend six months with your beloved brother – discovering on the way he lost his soul when he came – without know how – from hell?
He never wanted to have to deal with one Horseman again – especially with Death and, even if he likes the same kind of food Dean appreciates – but he doesn’t have any choice. It’s either that or staying with a soulless brother – or worse, a brother with a soul but becoming insane because of the pain of his memories.
This solution wasn’t that bad, until they discovered what they thought was the enemy turns out not being that much of an enemy – and the real danger comes from one of their last friends.
Castiel breaks Sam’s wall as a distraction, then opens the Purgatory (part of his deal with Crowley, Crowley! The last person with whom the brothers wanted to work), swallows all the souls and gets a free trip as a new God.
It doesn’t end well.
Do you know what it’s like, to lose one after another the last people you can count on?
Do you know what it’s like to see your brother turning slowly insane because of a hallucination of Lucifer – thanks to someone you once called a friend?
They manage to open the Purgatory again– thanks to Death – and put the souls into it, lose Castiel in the process, and find a new enemy waiting for them.
The Leviathans are some sneaky bastards with plans impossible to discover. They even manage to kill Bobby, leaving them all on their own.
This is one of the worst years of their lives – but at least, they are together.
Until Sam’s sanity starts to crumble. Dean is almost losing it too – until Castiel comes back in the picture (oh, weirdest things already happened to them after all) and takes Sam’s pain on him. Meg is back with him too – always here when the situation is bad after all.
And Bobby is haunting them now too.
Even with that, it’s still his brother and him against the world. Always.
Do you know what it’s like… to live Dean Winchester’s life?