Life, for Merlin, was very much like waking up before it’s time for you to get up because you’ve forgotten to close the curtain on your window. The sun is still very low in the sky, but it is still high enough to shatter through the window and force you to open your eyes. Due to the position in the sky you know that you still have, maybe, and hour or two left to sleep. But now Merlin would be faced with the dilemma of what to do about it.
There are three options Merlin could take in this particular circumstance. He could try to ignore it. He could just force his eyes shut and try to go back to sleep, even with the sunlight beating down on your shut eyelids. It’s uncomfortable and annoying, but it’s the easiest option.
The second option would be to simply get up and shut the curtain, and then go back to bed. However, this would take more effort than just using your eyelids to shut the light out. He would have to drag himself out of bed, get up, find the curtain, and then pull it shut. It’s not the easiest solution, but it’s the right thing to do. The task that would take the most effort, but give the most rewards.
The third option is a continuation of the second option. Because, in Merlin’s mind, if you have taken all that effort to get out of bed to shut the curtain then it’s no use going back to bed. Rather you could just get up altogether. Get dressed, eat breakfast, and go out the door. It’s not easy, nor is it the right thing to do for yourself, but it’s what is expected of you. It’s the most practical solution. It’s what’s expected of him.
So there Merlin is, lying in bed, debating what to do about the sunlight that is staring him in the eyes. It’s hurting his eyes, so he has to make a choice soon. The Bed, the Curtain, or the Door? The Easy Way Out, the Right Thing to Do, or What’s Expected of Him?
He finally squeezes his eyes shut, rolls over, and attempts to ignore the light. But it doesn’t work. He can still feel it beating down on him. After about a minute he rolls over and glances at the window. He could just get up; he could just get up and shut the curtain. Then he could go back to bed. That’s all he’d have to do.
He pulls himself upright and slides out of bed, facing the window, his eyes never leaving it. But then, just for a second, his eyes darted towards the door. He freezes, just for a minute or two and looks around him. He was so close. He could just close it and go back to bed, and it would all be over. He’d gotten this far, it was just a little longer, a little more effort. But his eyes went back to that door, and slowly, something inside him just…gave up. He picked up some clothing, got dressed, and walked out the door.
Because that was the way Merlin lived his life. He would try for the easy way, try to let it go, but he couldn’t. He’s get so close, so close to everything he wanted, to finally getting happiness. But in the end, in Merlin’s eyes, doing what was expected of him was just the easiest thing to do.