“Guys - anyone else seeing that?” Adam pointed to the sky, where a dark little dot seemed to be getting bigger, and closer, and greener.
Camera 1 shot up, focusing in on the dot, trying to keep it in the middle of the shot - not an easy task, because it was coming down fast, and pretty much right toward them. A sound followed, something akin to a roar, muffled by the distance.
Jamie calmly stepped back into the bunker behind them. “See it.” He motioned for the rest of the cast and crew to join him. They scurried, because now the roar was apparent, and that green dot had sprouted legs and arms and a very angry-looking face.
The Hulk landed with an earth-shaking crunch, right on top of their explosive-laden tank, and proceeded to pound the sucker deep into the ground.
“Oh, god - oh, god,” Adam kept repeating, expecting a huge explosion at any moment. Neither he nor Jamie, nor anyone else on the team, had set the explosives inside to be able to handle a hammering. They were, after all, trying to blow the thing up. Not so much like this, but...
There was a loud whump from the tank, which jumped a little in the crater it was creating. The Hulk stopped roaring and hammering, tilting his head at the pile of metal underneath him, confused. Everyone’s ears rang in the sudden silence.
“Huh,” Jamie said, watching a puff of smoke roll out of the main gun turret. “Guess the grenade down the hatch thing really works.”
Apparently, the Hulk heard that; his big head turned, finding the bunker, eyes squinting to see through the slit in the concrete wall through which they’d expected to be watching the tank go sky-high. He took two heavy steps toward it, sending equipment rattling and falling. To a person, everyone on the crew took a step back.
And then there was another sound, like a rocket descending, and something else landed hard and heavy in front of the bunker, obscuring the Hulk from view. “Damnit, Big Guy! Mythbusters. Mythbusters!”
Apparently, the Hulk didn’t like that, because suddenly the earth was jumping as he pounded the ground. “STOP BUSTERS! METAL MAN MOVE!”
“God, sorry about this, guys,” Iron Man said without turning around to face them. He pointed a repulsor in the Hulk’s direction. “My fault, totally. I think -” and the repulsor went off, just as Hulk threw a piece of tank at Tony’s face, “- I confused Jolly Green here.”
“Please tell me someone is capturing this,” Adam crooned, clapping his hands when the cameramen on 1 and 3 both held up their thumbs.
Another repulsor blast, this time to keep the top of the tank from landing on the roof of the bunker. Iron Man was turning now - they could see that much, but nothing else - and more and more blasts. A growl got loud, then faint, then gone. Jamie and Adam looked at one another in relief.
Then Iron Man’s head appeared in the slit. “Uh, guys, seriously - run. Now.”
The door of the bunker flew open, and a dozen crewmembers came piling out. Just in time, because the Hulk landed on the bunker a moment later, crashing through the concrete roof as easily as if it had been made of sticks.
Iron man maneuvered himself between the Mythbusters team and the Hulk, who was hefting a huge slab of concrete that used to be a wall and was preparing to swing it their direction. “These aren’t the Hulkbusters, dude! Calm down!”
“WHY THEY HAVE TANK, THEN?!” Hulk asked, swinging the concrete anyway.
Iron Man caught the end of it, grunting, straining to hold on as the crew scattered yet again. Adam found himself hiding behind the SUV; Jamie, behind one of the many blast barriers they’d set up. “Because,” Tony grunted, “....they...blow...things...up...for...fun.”
Hulk dropped his makeshift concrete bat, and Iron Man stumbled forward in the sudden absence of pressure, barely keeping himself from falling.
“FUN?” Hulk looked around - at the tank, the bunker, the cameras still pointed at him. He stopped at Jamie, just standing and staring at him, and that great green expression pinched in confusion.
“Yeah,” Tony responded, walking over to the Hulk now. “It’s a good show. The kind you’d probably like.” He reached out and touched the creature’s gigantic arm. “So - don’t go smashing them up, okay?”
Hulk’s eyes turned down to Tony, and he nodded, once.
“Wow.” Jamie stepped forward, completely unable to help himself. He looked from the Hulk to Tony. “He’s so much bigger than they tell you.”
“He’s standing right here,” Tony responded, a hint of irritation in his voice, whirling to see who spoke. Now he stood between Jamie - well, everyone, really - and the Hulk in much the same protective posture as he’d taken facing the Hulk a moment before. “And he doesn’t like being talked about as if he can’t understand.”
That fact was obvious; Hulk had turned great green-white eyes to Jamie and was clenching fists hard enough that his arms were shaking.
Jamie corrected, quickly. “You’re so much bigger. Than the press lets on, at least.”
Adam poked his head up from behind the SUV and looked for the cameras. Still two green lights. Yes. He waggled a finger toward Jamie and the Hulk, motioning to keep rolling.
Bad idea, apparently, because the movement caught Hulk’s eye, and Adam suddenly found the Hulk landing about a foot away from him, snatching him from his feet in one giant fist.
“Bad Hulk, bad Hulk,” Adam wheezed, barely able to breathe. The fist lifted him close to one big eye that studied him intently.
Iron Man landed next to the Hulk, again putting a hand on his arm. The squeezing stopped getting tighter, and Adam could breathe again. “Thank you,” he sighed in Tony’s direction, waiting to find the ground again.
But Hulk didn’t put him down right away. He studied Adam for a few long, scary seconds, then spoke right into his face, blowing off the hat that had somehow miraculously stayed on when he was snatched up. “‘SPLOSIONS NOT FUN ON TOP THEM,” Hulk reprimanded, giving Adam one shake before dropping him sprawling at Tony’s feet.
Adam scrambled to his feet and moved out of range, hurrying over to a camera that was still rolling. “Holy crap, did we get him battering that tank into dust? Did we?” he asked, as excited as if he’d actually gotten to blow up their newest experiment. “That was awesome.”
Again, a thumbs-up, and Adam couldn’t help but let out his little whoop of joy.
That got Tony’s attention, and the suit whirred and whistled as he moved Adam’s direction. “Wait - have you been filming this?” He looked directly at the cameras, surprising laughter from Adam.
“Yes! ” Adam replied, completely without thought. “This is just the best! ”
It was Tony’s turn to tilt his head in confusion. The face plate disappeared, revealing Tony’s furrowed expression. “You can’t use this, little red,” he said, putting his body between the camera and the Hulk.
Adam looked back at Tony, very nearly pouting. “Why not? It’s our footage, our experiment. Myth confirmed!”
“Pretty sure you need permissions slips to use people on your show, though,” Tony shot back, “And I don’t think you’re gonna get that from him.” He jerked a thumb back the Hulk’s direction, where he and Jamie now stood a couple of feet from each other. Jamie kept staring while the Hulk, obviously quite confused by the little man’s lack of fear, carefully reached out and poked him with a gigantic finger, sending him two stuttering steps back.
“But - he destroyed our tank! It’s not like you can just go out and buy another one!” Tony shrugged his shoulders and started to answer, but Adam made a shushing sound and corrected himself. “we can’t go out and buy another one. It took us forever to get the permit for this one.”
Tony patted Adam’s shoulder lightly, careful in the suit. “Sorry, but the hype around the Hulk is bad enough as is. Last thing we need is to have him seen tearing a tank apart on mainstream TV.” Tony did, actually, look a bit apologetic. “But hey, your show? I’m a fan. That little trick with phone books and car doors for budget bulletproofing? Inspired. Helped me come up with the insulation here.” He clanked a finger on his chest, and turned as if to go.
“I’ll send you another tank tomorrow,” he called over his shoulder, and Adam couldn’t think of anything suitably snarky to say in reply.
“Something stronger,” Jamie said, taking a couple of sideways steps as the Hulk poked him once more. “Give us something that can withstand a Hulk attack.”
“Now that would be a test,” Adam pitched in, stepping toward Jamie now, as oblivious to the danger as Jamie seemed to be. “Trying to blow up something built to withstand the Hulk?”
The Big Guy didn’t seem to take too kindly to this. He puffed and growled, poking a finger Adam’s direction, stopping just inches from his face, and Adam wasn’t oblivious any more. “NOTHING HOLDS HULK,” he said through gritted teeth, planting that finger in Adam’s chest, knocking him to the ground.
Adam hit the ground smiling, though. Because he’d just had the best idea ever. He stood, dusting himself off, acting nonchalant. “Really? That so, Hulk?”
Tony saw where this was going suddenly, and tried to interrupt, “Hey, now, ginger snaps -”
Adam shot him a look edged with mischief, then turned eyes back to the green guy as he crossed his hands over his chest to finish his statement. “Because I’m willing to bet that’s just a myth, Big Guy.”
The Hulk pulled himself to his full height and roared fury at the sky. “NO! NOTHING STRONGER THAN HULK!”
Tony clapped a hand over his eyes and groaned, and even Jamie made a little face at Adam, who looked every bit the cat that ate the canary as he replied, “Myth challenge - accepted.”