“Right, so,” Amy Pond’s Scottish voice rings out through the Tardis as she and her husband enter the console room. “We’re gonna go see my parents, then pop round Rory’s, let them know we had fun on our honeymoon, we’re both safe and sound blah, blah, blah, and married life and everything’s great…” she pauses to catch her breath. “And then we’ll be back. Should only be a few hours so please, please don’t disappear or fly off for some adventure while you wait, I know you and your time keeping skills you probably wouldn’t be back til we’re thirty.”
“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m a time lord, therefore my time-keeping skills are excellent.” The Doctor argues.
Amy fixes him with a look that makes him shuffle a bit. “Well,” he says, “Usually.”
“Yeah. No leaving, alright? Promise?”
“Fine, promise,” the Doctor mumbles sulkily.
“So,” comes another voice just as River appears at the top of the stairs, smoothing her dress down as she descends them, her high heels clinking loudly on the metal floor. “Where have we landed? And it better be somewhere glamorous, don’t forget sweetie you promised me dancing…” Her voice trails off as she spots Amy and Rory in jeans by the door with bags in their hands. She turns to look at the Doctor inquisitively.
“Sorry River,” Amy says as she opens the Tardis door. “Dancing will have to wait - me and Rory need to pop home, you know - check up on the family and all that - so stay outta trouble while we’re gone.”
River pouts a bit. “But I was so looking forward to dancing,” she sighs.
The Doctor raises a finger. “Well, you know, while you’re gone me and River could just pop to -”
“No.” Amy interrupts firmly, her expression stern and the Doctor’s shoulders slump.
“Just…just stay put - okay?”
“Fine,” he grumbles.
“Don’t worry dear I’ll keep him in line,” River winks at her mother.
“Good. Okay. We’ll see you in a bit. We should only be a few hours,” Amy tells them as she walks out of the blue doors.
“A few hours? It’s your mother,” Rory argues.
“Oh shut up.”
The doors close and a short silence falls as the Doctor looks sulky and River looks disappointed - until she looks over at him and her face lights up.
“So…” River begins, a slightly mischievous look on her face as she saunters round the console towards the Doctor, running her hands absently over the controls. “Doctor.”
The Doctor leans back against the console, folding his arms as a small smile dances on his lips. “River.” He answers her back.
“We’re all alone.”
“It would appear so.”
“And stuck in the Tardis.”
“Whatever can we do?”
“Well, I…wait, was that a trick question?”
She laughs softly as she stops in front of him, reaching out to grab him by the lapels of his coat. “Oh, come here,” she says, before kissing him deeply.
The Doctor responds quickly, all the shyness he once felt with her now gone, and he wraps his arms round her curvaceous form, pulling her close. She moans into his mouth and he pulls away, leaning back a little to let his eyes glide up and down her body as his hands skim her sides. “This is a very nice dress,” he tells her admiring the way the shimmering dark blue material clings to her.
She smiles. “Thank you sweetie, I knew you’d like it. After all, you did buy it for me.”
He raises his eyebrows then smirks. “Spoilers.” He throws at her.
She winks. “Only a little one.”
He leans down to kiss her again and she quickly tugs his shirt out from his trousers, running her hands up underneath it, letting them glide over his stomach. As her tongue finds his once more the Doctor briefly lets his fingers tangle in her curly hair then slides them down over her body again. “Mmm,” River moans before parting briefly from his mouth. “I want you,” she breathes and the Doctor growls low in his throat before grabbing hold of her waist and spinning them so he can lift her onto the Tardis console. The ship groans loudly in response.
The Doctor pulls back to look at River. “Sorry old girl. Maybe we shouldn’t do this here…”
“Oh,” River smiles, “She doesn’t mind.”
“How do you know that?” She raises an eyebrow and he catches on quickly. “Right. Spoilers.”
He steps back between her legs and his mouth finds hers again. She takes hold of his hands and places them on her thighs and he obediently begins sliding them upwards, taking the hem of her dress with them while her own hands find their way under his shirt again. She moans softly at the feel of his hands on her bare thighs and he fingers the lacy material of her knickers briefly before slipping his hand inside and finding new ways to make her moan.
River drags herself closer to him, pressing her body against his and throwing her head back. “Oh sweetie, she breathes, “Don’t stop!”
“I don’t intend to,” he informs her in a low voice in her ear, before they kiss once more.
“I’m telling you it’s not in here!” Rory tells his wife for the third time.
“Well check the other bag!”
“This is the other bag, I’ve checked both, it’s definitely not here!”
“For crying out loud Rory, you only had four presents to remember, how could you have forgotten it!?”
“I don’t know, I told you I thought I’d already packed it.”
“I know what this is - you just don’t want to go visit my mum do you? This is so you can get out of it!”
“Don’t be ridiculous Amy - look, we haven’t gone far, we’ll just go back and get it.”
Amy huffs loudly. “Well come on then. It’s back that way.”
River is moaning loudly, kissing the Doctor for all she’s worth as she grinds herself against him and he grunts in response. “Take them off,” she mutters as he fumbles with her underwear, wanting to be as close as possible to him now, and he hooks his fingers in the top of her knickers and -
The door opens.
“Mum, dad!” River gasps, startled, pushing the Doctor away from her as she jumps off the console and scrambles to get her dress down.
“This is not what it looks like!” The Doctor immediately exclaims, face beetroot red as he too fumbles awkwardly with his clothes.
River rolls her eyes, calm now the initial surprise has worn off. “It is what it looks like,” she addresses Amy and Rory unabashedly. “Or almost was,” she adds, more to herself, and Rory opens his mouth as if to say something but instead just turns to glance at Amy who is for once, stunned into silence. “And would have been if you hadn’t have walked in,” River continues quickly as she starts to back away, rambling a little now the embarrassment has started to kick in, “which we obviously weren’t expecting you to do or it most definitely wouldn’t have been happening in here, would it sweetie?”
She grabs the stuttering Doctor by his sleeve and starts to drag him with her. “So, awkward as this has been I think we’d better be going now to continue elsewhere…”
“What!” The doctor gasps, looking at her in shock and back to Amy and Rory. “She doesn’t mean that, she’s joking, we weren’t doing anything!” He swears, laughing nervously as he continues backing away with River. “Just um… - the Tardis! We were er…” he looks to River for help who does nothing but raise an eyebrow. “Well we were just…uh…fixing…it…?”
“Oh for -” River exclaims, exasperated, and grabs his arm again, turning to tug him out of the room with her, “Come on!” She pauses as she reaches the door and turns back to look at Amy and Rory who both still appear to be in shock and interrupts Amy as she opens her mouth to speak with, “And yes mum and dad - we are being careful.” And with that she leaves quickly with the Doctor as Rory claps his hands over his ears.
“Well.” Says Rory after a moment of gaping after the pair. “That wasn’t weird. Or slightly disturbing. Seeing the Doctor and my grown up daughter…who was only just born a few months ago…who I’ve known longer than that…”
Amy pats his shoulder. “Yeah.”
“Well.” The Doctor says as he shuts the bedroom door behind them, running a hand over his still pink face. “That was embarrassing. Not to mention awkward…I’m never going to be able to look your parents in the eye again,” he tells River, meaning to be light hearted but instead ending up sounding as serious as he feels about it.
River chuckles, moving across the room to sit on the bed as she kicks her heels off. “It’s not really that bad sweetie, and I don’t know why you feel embarrassed anyway - they’re my parents.”
“Just - because!” He exclaims as he flails his arms around and starts pacing, running a hand through his hair. “They’re you’re parents - they’re Amy and Rory and they’re your parents! And now they’re going to know that I - that we - we, we…” More arm waving and River laughs again.
“Oh come on, it’s not like they didn’t already know we’re sleeping together sweetie,” she tells him, raising an eyebrow and delighting in making him blush even darker.
“What!” He splutters. “Of course they didn’t know - what makes you say they know!”
“Well,” she tells him calmly as she stands to unzip her dress and shimmy out of it, “apart from the fact that Rory tried to give me ‘the talk’ last week - not something a girl wants to hear from her dad when he’s about ten years younger than her - I think it’s pretty obvious when we’re sleeping in the same room dear.”
“Yes but - they don’t know that!”
She rolls her eyes. “Of course they do.” She walks over to him. “Now can we please stop talking about my parents and finish what we started before we were interrupted?”
He shakes his head firmly. “Nope, sorry. Not in the mood anymore. I couldn’t - not after that!”
She raises an eyebrow and holds his gaze as she reaches round behind her and unclasps her bra, letting it drop to the floor before hooking her thumbs in the top of her knickers and sliding them down her legs to join her bra on the floor.
The Doctor swallows hard, his eyes sliding down over her and back up to meet hers. There’s a short pause as they stare at each other and then a smile quirks at his lips.
She laughs as he wraps his arms round her and backs her across the room towards the bed, his mouth finding hers with a happy moan.