–– timaeusTestified [ TT ] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [ TG ] at 10:35 ––
TT: Are you there?
TT: Let me know when you’re around.
TG: let me tlel u
TG: this place shucks
TG: it shucks SO much
TT: It is nice to see you haven’t lost your wits yet.
TT: You’ve been ignoring my messages so far, I wanted to know if everything is ok.
TG: nuttin is ok dirk here its all CRAZY
TG: they dnont let me have ALCHOOL
TG: lol *alcohol
TT: I guess that is the purpose of being sent to rehab, Roxy. It is a way for you to stop relying so much on your alcoholic beverages, and finally start seeing the appeal of less dazzling drinks, so to speak.
TG: as if i never drkink anything else come on dirk
TG: i dont have a prboblom with alchol
TT: I suspect you downplay the influence alcohol has on your life, and your mother is simply very much worried about you. It is entirely in her capabilities to send you off until you have purged your veins of that nasty beverage.
TG: u have no place to speak
TG: cuz u just drink ornage juice
TG: all day
TG: but a lady gotta have her martini
TG: its been hell because they refusde to give me
TG: my martini
TG: i dont think i can stay here nomore
TT: It has been only three hours.
TT: The moment I heard you were being shipped off, I immediately tried contacting you, and that brings us to the present moment.
TT: Merely three hours later. Let me stress on the three hours period.
TT: Bro said your mom signed you in for at least a three-weeks period. If you are already complaining despite barely having set a foot around, it simply feels like you are not considering the situation as carefully as you should.
TT: At least settle down for a bit first.
TG: i cant make it to three weeks dirk
TG: I CANT
TG: im going to deihydratate
TG: *turn into a dried up blob
TG: no more liquids running in my veins
TG: * sbobs drmamaticantally waving her drink round *
TG: only i dont have my drink dirk
TG: i dnont like it here
TG: i wanna go home
TT: If you’re solely opposing your mother’s desire to offer you a healthier life, there are better ways to do that rather than just run away at the first chance.
TT: My suggestion would be to lay low for a while and look around the place. Just take a moment to analyse the situation, checking for every possible thing that could help you.
TT: Of course I am simply offering you a suggestion. If you wait until the three weeks period ends, then you can go back and if you truly wish as much, resume your usual alcohol intake. I know by now how your relationship with your mother works, and it would be of more impact if you were to show that the three weeks were actually wasted on you, rather than run away and offer her the perfect opportunity to do something more elaborate.
TT: Lay low and accept your fate. Your mother has the proverbial knife by its handle this time.
TG: mom is jsut doing her lil silly game again
TG: psassive aggrievess ness
TG: she doesnt care if i stay or nto
TG: help me get the fcuk out of here
TT: Roxy, are you even listening to me? I told you to look around first. The enemy you know is the enemy you can defeat. Settle in and scout around until you find something you can exploit.
TT: It will be fine. If it helps, think about something else aside for the lack of alcohol.
TT: It is surprising enough they have allowed you the use of the computer and chat client. Otherwise how do you plan on contacting me if they take that away?
TG: i hid my phone in my undrewear
TG: they dinint thunk about checking in there
TG: taboo place or w/e
TT: That is certainly an information I would have been fine without knowing.
TT: But I am indeed grateful you are going to keep contact with me.
TT: It would be really boring without having your drunken typing all over my computer screen.
TG: omg dirk i msiss u too
TG: why dont u
TG: do ur prince charmin sht
TG: make me swoon like a prnicess
TG: *SWOONs omg mr strider SWOONs*
TG: come here and lets break me out from this shtty place plz
TG: unrinonally rnunnig away
TG: *4 realz
TT: While that would prove to be rather entertaining, given the lack of interesting shit for this upcoming summer without my friend there to back me up, I have to say I think you might want to sit it out this time.
TT: It might be even good for you, who knows.
TT: For now, simply try to settle in and do not worry about running away.
TT: You can always pester me when you need to talk.
TT: We are friends, after all.
TG: a godo froend would get me outta here. .///
–– timaeusTestified [ TT ] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [ TG ] at 11:18 ––
–– timaeusTestified [ TT ] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [ TG ] at 12:00 ––
TT: Roxy, I pestered you less than an hour ago.
TT: I left for a shower and when I come back, you have filled my screen with a wall of irate messages.
TT: Does that mean you are still unable to settle down, unlike what I suggested before?
TG: no shtit shrelock
TG: lolol tits
TG: of course i need your pedantic slef
TG: get me outta here dirk
TG: dirk plz
TT: I think we talked about that already, Roxy. I can’t get you out of there.
TG: shuuuush. we both know im k and dun need rehbab
TG: i drink alcohol but i don’t absuse it
TG: i just wanna go home.
TT: Why are you pestering me about that? Shouldn’t you contact your mother and try to ask her instead? In your usual passive-aggressive modus operandi, I mean.
TG: yses i did that already mr grumpypants
TG: she was all oh roxy dear
TG: im deeply worried
TG: tis will hlep u
TG: not gonna help
TG: treat me like im a drunkard
TG: im not a drunkard dirk
TG: i just like my martini
TG: if mom didnt want me to drink her alcoloh
TG: she woulda locked the cabintet
TT: So you simply decided to bypass your mother and ask me instead, knowing that if you bother me enough, I will have to give in and do as you ask.
TG: because were froends
TG: the best froends evur
TT: Yes, that seems to be the case on this side, too. Which is why, although it pains me, I’ll have to actually listen to whatever plan your mind has come up with and fix it so it will have an infinitesimal chance to work, instead of just staring at you as you attempt, fail, and end up being dragged back kicking and screaming.
TT: Any time now, you are free to indulge and tell me.
–– tipsyGnostalgic [ TG ] is now an idle chum! ––
–– tipsyGnostalgic [ TG ] began pestering timaeusTestified [ TT ] at 13:20 ––
TT: Finally, I was beginning to fear for your health.
TT: Where did you go? It’s been over an hour since you disappeared without notice. And now you deign yourself to message me again.
TT: I expect you to explain what has happened.
TT: But first and foremost, are you ok?
TG: yea fine fine
TG: no need to get ur prissy pants in a twsit
TG: i had to get my beautyfull ass out of dnager
TG: one of the guards was coming and i had to tiptoe the fcuk away
TG: im toters fine
TG: fine and dandy
TG: now haul your ass up and get ready dirk
TT: So I gather you were able to hide your phone before someone could come and see you happily chatting away with the person who will probably aid your crazy, over the top plan to run away.
TT: A bit like one of the movies Jake would like, maybe. Breaking you out of prison, with an informer outside aiding your drunken ass all the way to Florida, or maybe Nebraska, hitchhiking until you are free and singing like a birdie.
TG: sumthin like that yea
TG: this place is like big
TG: WHOA bigass big
TG: they hckec everything with cameras and shit
TG: and my head hurts
TG: feels like drill drill drill right into my templs
TT: That is your hangover kicking in. Obviously is it no fun. If you truly wish to escape the clutches of what will be one of the worst cases of headache you’ve ever had the pleasure of feeling, it is better you explain what you have in mind, Roxy.
TT: How do you plan on running from that rehab clinic? And get back home?
TG: fr that ill have ur help ;)
TG: itll be the best escsaping plan evur
TG: ppl will retell it in thier blogs and fcbooks and twitters
TG: itll be made into a moive
TG: but first i need ur help bcs i cant hack in this system w/out my computer
TG: so jst listen to what i say
TT: I’m at your wish and command, princess. I’ll pull all the strings with my competent hands but the control will be yours. Shoot your orders miss.
TG: not princsess
TG: i decided its stpuid
TG: imma rouge
TT: By that I will have to assume you do not mean the shade of colour but rather the caste of Rogues. Well then, rogue, shoot me your orders and I will make the puppets play.
TG: k thks best froend
TG: here it goes ;)
TG: plan GRAND REHAB BREAKOUT
TG: *start lolol
The phone was ringing.
Dave Strider, age thirty-one, successful movie director, mostly famous for his comic series SBaHJ, of which he had directed over three movies and an equally well-received TV-series, turned the music down and looked over his shoulder, waiting for his little bro to answer.
The phone continued ringing, but now that he had lowered the volume of his DJ set, Dave could hear the familiar sound of water running, and cursed slightly.
He had been working on a jig for a while, and he was sure that Dirk had taken a shower already right after lunch. He couldn’t seriously be getting his ablution time on so soon already.
Checking his watch, Dave cursed when he realised that it was already half past six. He’d have to wrap his work up and drag the kid out to eat.
The phone was still ringing, so with a defeated, disgruntled sigh, Dave stomped over and picked it up, checking the caller.
His hand froze halfway to his ear when he caught Rose’s number flashing on the small display.
He wanted to put the receiver down, but he had already answered. Better see what she wanted.
"Dave," Rose’s voice was as pleasant and as calm as usual, but Dave had grown apt at sniffing out when something was bubbling under the surface, and seriously, this felt like imminent disaster.
Instincs honed by an entire life spent as a Strider, Dave knew he was threading on thin ice.
"Yes that’s me Rosie," he replied, trying to keep his tone even and not panic.
He had done nothing to upset her. Nothing at all. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this call, so early after our last conversation?"
There was a small tinge of amusement in Rose’s voice when she answered, but the feeling of impending doom still lingered on his head. "Yes, I do remember. It was such a pleasure to be able to uncover some of those deep, rooted problems you were hiding away, tucked within the confines of your mind… pleasant indeed".
Dave refused to give in to the urge to cringe. Even if there was no one to see him doing it, he still didn’t want to break his cool façade.
Even if Psychologist Rose was worth a cringe.
"Well, Dave, do you perhaps know what your little bro has been doing for the last few hours?"
Dave licked his dry lips and swallowed. "Actually, aside for wasting all my hot water with his overly long showers, I have no idea".
"So you do not know that he was half responsible for my daughter breaking out of the rehab clinic I had sent her to merely an hour and a half ago," Rose continued, tone still nice and even.
Despite the fear that she would turn grimdark on him, Dave couldn’t restrain a laugh.
"So the lil dipship gave up and helped her out, huh. I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist".
"Indeed, I was afraid that would be the case," Rose sighed.
"You ain’t going to bitch at her when she comes home, are you," Dave inquired, more like a confirmation than an actual question.
A small sigh. "No, I am not. Although I guess I should perhaps change my methods a bit in light of this entire situation".
"I swear, one day you’ll have to admit that this whole passive-aggressive shit is completely one-sided, and that day, I will be there to laugh at you," feeling like the danger was gone and in no way about to rain on his beautiful, movie director ass, Dave relaxed.
"You are not going to punish your little bro either, are you?"
Dave snorted in amusement. "Oh, definitely the opposite. He’s going to receive the biggest collection of pony play porn he’s ever seen in his life, and he’s going to enjoy it up to the last very second".
Rose chuckled softly. "I guess I’d like to be there to see his face when that moment comes".
"You’re welcome here any day, Rosie, yah know that. You’re family".
"Yes. Yes, I know that Dave. Now I must go, I have a daughter to greet back home".
"Bye, Rosie, don’t choke on the passive-aggressive bullshit".
"Goodbye Dave, I’ll see you at our usual feelings jam session, and be punctual".
This time Dave did cringe.