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Time To Think

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"Brian, what time are you leaving for Babylon?"

"I'm staying home tonight."

"What? But why? It's Saturday and we always go to Babylon on Saturdays," Michael yammers on the other end of the phone.

"Well, I'm still not going," I tell him, rather forcefully.

"Who's with you? Is it Boy Wonder?"

"Justin is not here. In fact, I'm alone and I need to get some work done."

"You're gonna work on a Saturday night?"

"Fuck, Mikey! I don't work at the Q. You know that sometimes I need to bring work home with me!"

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I light a cigarette and pour myself a drink, sinking back onto the couch. I really do have work to do, but that's just not going to happen. Not tonight. Tonight I need to think about the "Sunshine situation". I've put it off long enough.

First of all, I can't believe I'm actually fucking someone called Sunshine. I've got to stop calling him that immediately. Justin is a great name. There's no need to call him anything else. If I stop calling him Sunshine, maybe the rest of the gang will follow suit.

Secondly, I can't believe I'm fucking someone who's a part of the gang. Well, not exactly a part of the gang; he's more like someone who won't leave us alone. Although, I realize that everyone really likes Sunsh... Justin. So maybe he is a part of the gang. That's going to make it pretty tough when I kick him out of my bed...and it is going to happen sooner or later.

Thank God he has Daphne. She's really great. He's going to need a friend if he continues his walk down Liberty Avenue. It may seem like a sparkling, colorful, friendly place, but it's not. The guys all want to fuck you one minute and fuck you over the next. They're competitive and crazy for fresh meat, and he's young and so fucking polite. He won't want to tell anyone to fuck off.

On second thought, the kid is fucking smart and would never get himself into real trouble. It's just that he's inexperienced and isn't afraid of trying new things. Let's just say that he was lucky that I was the one who picked him up that night under the streetlight.

God, he looked so fucking young...and those incredible blue eyes that kept looking straight at me...I didn't have much of choice but to take him home with me, did I?

Then again, if I had known how much trouble he was going to be I probably would have thought twice before picking him up. Who could have guessed that he would still be around months later? Working at the diner, living with Deb, sleeping in my bed a couple of nights a week...he's EVERYWHERE!

Tricking and fucking and dancing our asses off at Babylon is fun. God, that boy can dance like no one else! That ass of his is really great and- but I shouldn't be thinking about any of this right now. It's too much of a distraction from the more important stuff.

I could have gotten rid off him when he ran off to New York, but Daphne was furious and Deb threatened me with serious consequences if I didn't find him. It was kind of my fault that he ran away, but I was so fucking tired of always having him around. I was, no I am, not used to having someone in my life all the time. Not even Mikey is around as much as Sun... Justin is, especially now that Mikey has met Dan or Dave or whatever his name is. That guy is totally wrong for Mikey but I really don't care because it's not gonna last very long.

I'm equally wrong for Justin...not that we're together or anything. It's just sex. He really should find someone closer to his own age. He needs someone who wants to be in a relationship with him; someone who believes in love and family and everything else that he keeps talking about with stars in his eyes.

Justin's eyes are filled with love and curiosity and challenge. I do like it when he challenges me. It's a fucking turn on. But sometimes, when it feels like his blue eyes are looking right through me, I have to look away because I'm afraid of what he'll see in mine. I don't want him to get his hopes up because he'll inevitably get hurt.

I know I keep saying that I never do seconds but it's not really true. I've fucked a handful of unbelievably hot guys twice, but never ever more than that. I've never let anyone into the loft more than once, either. It kind of scares me that it felt so right to bring Justin back here the night he stole my tricks on the dance floor. Of course, I had to steal him right back from them.

I love it when he's ballsy like that...just like the other day when he was sitting in my lap, both of us stark naked, feeding me ice cream as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Or when he told his dad that he was never coming home again. It was killing him but he chose this lifestyle and I have never been more proud of him. Not that he is mine to be proud of.

Another thing that I love is how good Justin is with Gus. He didn't hesitate to babysit when I had to make an appearance at the Leather Ball and he didn't rat me out to Deb the next day. He's incredibly loyal and it's kind of nice to know that he doesn't go around telling everyone what we do. He can keep things to himself, which is something I'm not used to with the rest of the gang.

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Well, I've been sitting here for hours and I'm still only sure of two things. I'll never change my lifestyle for anyone and I can stop fucking Justin right now. If I want to.

The thing is, I'm not sure I want to stop just yet. I can't help thinking about his pale skin, hard body, and small but strong hands with fingers that stroke me like they were painting a picture. I love to run my fingers through his blond hair while he's giving me a blow job. That mouth and that fucking smile make my heart feel like it's going to explode if I don't keep my guard up.

Just thinking about Justin's body right now is making my cock twitch. I want to part my legs and rub myself through my pants. I want to feel my cock grow harder with every stroke and run my other hand under my shirt, pinching my nipples the way Justin does. He knows my body so well. That's something I've definitely never experienced before.

Thinking about Justin's lips around my cock is making me leak so I open my pants and run my thumb over the head of my cock, gathering the precum leaking out of me. I wish Justin was here to lick it up, or better yet, to smear it all over my nipples and then lick it off of them. God, I love it when he's raunchy and just does whatever he wants to in bed without thinking.

When the door to the loft slides open and Justin walks in looking happy and horny I feel a big smile spread across my face.

"The diner was crowded tonight. Am I late?"

I press the tip of my finger hard into my slit making my cock leak again.

"No, Sunshine, you're just in time."