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Darcy the Vampire Slayer

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It started with the dreams.

Darcy Lewis was seventeen, a senior and looking forward to getting out of hell, aka high school. The dreams started in late April, getting stronger and stranger by May. Lots of scattered images, dust, fangs and women she didn’t recognize kicking major ass.

Then one day, after graduation, Darcy was minding her own business getting snacks at the corner store for her marathon packing session. She was soon surrounded by her worst enemies; Debbie, Missi and Jodi, cheerleaders who had delighted in picking on Darcy about everything from her wardrobe to her glasses to her size. They cornered her in the alley next to the store, and Darcy could see taking more than just bruises into her first week of college when she felt it.

She couldn’t describe it accurately. It was hot and fast and just…power. Debbie thrust out a fist and Darcy caught it. She’d never forget the looks on their faces. Turned out the three bitches would be the ones with bruises. And they’d tell no one because who’d believe that Darcy Lewis had smacked the crap out of them.

It wasn’t until her third month of college that she found out the why and the how. UC Berkley was pretty much all Darcy had hoped it would be. She was at the bar with her chemistry lab partner, finding out that five tequilas only left her with a mild buzz. She was going to find out how many it took to make her drunk when she noticed a guy with an eye patch making his way to her. He sidled up to her and waved off the bartender.

“Darcy Lewis?”

She looked him up and down. He wasn’t half bad looking, the patch adding an edge of bad-assery. “Depends on who’s doing the asking.”

“Xander Harris, ICW.”

“Sounds all official and stuff.”

“Is there somewhere more private we can talk?”

“You need to get more tequila in me for that matey.”

He rolled his eyes, obviously having heard all the pirate jokes. “Around April and May were you having weird dreams?”

“Tequila first.”

“Come with me and I can tell you what they meant and how you were able to beat up three cheerleaders.”

That sobered her up pretty quickly. She took him to a little café and that night Darcy Lewis learned all about vampires, demons, slayers and all other things supernatural. Xander “don’t call me Mr. Harris” introduced her to Rona, another slayer and the next two months were spent honing her skills. She spent the next few years pretty much without incident, while keeping the campus vamp free. Then New Mexico happened.

Darcy had only acquired the taser because there were rules about civilians getting hurt or killed apparently. And she wouldn’t have been there except she needed the six science credits and Jane was the only one who’d taken her. It helped that she’d been the only applicant for the internship. But it totes wasn’t her fault she’d tazed a literal god. But Thor and his friends were pretty chill. It was Special Agent Phil Coulson who wasn’t. How exactly was an i-pod a threat to national security? But she also got to meet Clint Barton and got her flirt on so that was okay.

Then they got the invite to New York. And turned out the Big Apple was filthy with vampires. It was only going to be a matter of time before someone found out. After the Battle of Manhattan, Darcy noticed a big drop in vamp activity. Seemed like even evil things knew when to lay low. Not that an alien invasion made her job, or her personal life, easier. Clint tried to avoid her because of Loki, but she wasn’t having any of that. She made him tell her everything, even if he wouldn’t tell his team. She was his anchor. But it turned out that trying to defend a major metropolitan city generated a metric fuck-ton of paperwork. Darcy was the first person to find out that Phil wasn’t dead and rumor was Fury kind of admired her for the verbal ass-kicking she gave him.

She almost blew it the first time she went hunting after that. A month had passed and Darcy had heard the rumblings, so she went on patrol and cleared out an entire nest. Rona had warned her of the two h’s and she’d managed fine in college, but without access to a boyfriend (she and Clint were not officially an item, much to Darcy’s regret) she was seriously jonesing and her vibrator wasn’t going to hack it. She made her way back to the tower and ran into said not boyfriend. Clint may have thought she was a little drunk and steered her up to her floor. It wasn’t his fault she managed to kiss him at her door and then drag him into her room.  It wasn’t awkward at all the next morning.

“Where are you going?” she asked as she watched him collect his clothes.

He glanced back at her, running a hand over his face. “Darcy, look….”

“Oh hell no, you are not giving me the it doesn’t have to mean anything speech.”

“It really doesn’t.”

She sighed. “Clint, in the nearly over a year we’ve been sort of dating, when have I ever given you the impression that I might not want to jump your very sexy body?”

He just sat there, not sure what to say.

“I may be surrounded by some of the most attractive people on the planet, but you’re the only one I’ve ever been interested in, see my previous statement about sort of dating. Thor’s with Jane, Steve practically has Stark and Potts tattooed on his ass and Bruce is Natasha’s.”

“So you picked me by default.”

She threw her hands up in disgust. “Have you always been this dense, Agent Barton?”

“I’m not exactly good at all this personal stuff, Darce.”

She reached out for him and tugged him back towards her. “I wasn’t as drunk as you think I was. And it’s been only you since New Mexico. So get back here and do that thing that made me scream again.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said.

She’d been lucky that night. But her luck wasn’t going to hold forever and when Tony invited everyone out to celebrate the three month anniversary of them being a team, Darcy felt it might be a sign of something. When they all exited the restaurant at one in the morning, drunk and happy, she thought maybe they might have avoided any problems until four vampires came out of the shadows and confronted them. Darcy, Pepper, and Jane were pushed to the back as the Avengers tried to figure out what to do. Darcy sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Pep, can you keep Bruce calm?” she asked as she took a few steps back from the group.

“Maybe, why? Darcy what are you doing?” Pepper whispered.

Darcy drew the chopsticks out of her hair and started running. She leapt over the group, throwing the make-shift stakes at the two front vamps while grabbing the real one she had strapped to her thigh. She landed as the first two went poof and then made short work of the other two. She stood there panting as the dust settled and felt the familiar buzz flow through her.

“Darcy?” Clint ventured.

She looked up at the group sheepishly. “Um, hi. I’m Darcy and I’m a vampire slayer,” she said with a cute little wave.

Either Pepper or Natasha must have called because Fury was waiting for them when they got back to the tower.

“Miss Lewis, would you care to explain what happened?”

Darcy sighed and dug into her purse, pulling out a business card. “Call this number. We can talk in the morning.”

“What in the hell is the ICW?” Fury yelled, but Darcy ignored him, grabbing Clint as she went for the elevators.

“Darcy, you just can’t shrug Fury off like that,” Clint said.

“I can. I don’t officially work for SHIELD you know. I got dragged along with Jane and just sort of fit in. I never signed any contract.”


“Nope. Now, a slaying like that always makes me horny, so pay close attention soldier.”

Clint tried to protest but she silenced him by jumping him as the elevator doors closed.


The next morning everyone was in Fury’s office. Darcy had promised Clint that all would be explained and made Jarvis pass the word on to the others. Fury was not a happy camper. When they were all gathered around the table, Tony was the first to venture a question.

“So are we going to find out about your secret ninja skills this morning, Darcy?”

Fury glared at him. “It seems that Miss Lewis is officially represented by an outside entity and we’re waiting for their representatives to arrive.”

“We are here, Director Fury.”

Everyone turned to look at the speaker. A tall, well dressed gentleman and a much younger blonde woman. Fury stood.

“So it seems, and you are?”

“Rupert Giles, head of the International Council of Watchers. This is my co-chair, Buffy Summers.”

“Buffy?” Clint leaned back to get a better look. “What in the hell?”

“Clint? Oh my god, no one told me you were back.”

Fury looked at Clint and Giles at Buffy. They both answered “Cousin.”

“Never mind the family reunion, Mr. Giles, could you please explain to me why it is that Miss Lewis did…something to four civilians last night that would not warrant me locking her ass up?”

“Those were not humans, Director Fury. They were vampires. Darcy is a vampire slayer.”

Everyone at the table seemed to talk at once. Fury shouted for quiet. “Vampires,” he finally said.

“Yes,” Giles said, “You see….”

“Oh please not the speech,” Darcy groaned.

“It does seem appropriate,” Giles said.

“We have a power point to go with it,” Buffy offered, digging a flash drive out of her purse.

So Giles got to give his speech.  Bruce and Tony were promised access to all scientific research and access to Willow. Natasha chided Darcy for holding out on her during hand to hand. Thor praised her for being the warrior he always knew her to be.  Giles and Fury were working out something where Darcy would be the official liaison between the ICW and SHIELD. But other than that everyone seemed okay with the whole vampire thing.

“After you work with a god, a guy who turns into a green rage monster and Captain America, vampires aren’t that much of stretch,” Clint said. “So, is what happened last night typical?”

“No, it only happens if I get multiple kills. Usually I’m just hungry afterwards.”

“Ah the two h’s” Buffy said, interrupting. “So, I hope you’re treating my cousin all right, Darcy.”

“She’s fine, Buffy. You’ll have to tell me your history soon,” Clint said.

“As long as I get the story of you too as well. Don’t mess with him,” she teased.

“I happen to love him,” Darcy said defensively.

“You do?” Clint said.

“Yeah, did I forget to mention that?”

“You might have. I love you too.”

“Awwww,” Buffy cooed. “Here’s my card, call me for the wedding.” Then she walked off to join Giles.

“Some cousin,” Darcy said.

“I know,” Clint said. He pulled Darcy close. “So did I tell you how hot you were when you did your thing last night?”

“No, but I’m sure you’ll be reminding me a lot in the future.”

“How bout I show you instead, no one will miss us.”

Darcy smiled and they snuck off to her room.