Marnie lowers the volume on her lap top and she hugs her pillow as the images on the screen light her face in the darkened room. Her stomach becomes that warm, funny flip flop thing and within only seconds, she knows she's painfully turned on. She's waited for Hannah to leave to do this. She tells herself that she's just curious. That she hasn't kept downloading episodes because she likes the sex scenes.
The L Word is a great show on itself anyway.
And yes, okay, maybe she is just a little bit curious, but it's not like she's jotting down tips to try out on Jessa or anything. Because they haven't really done anything since that night. There's been kissing. A lot of kissing and light groping. But that's it. After all, Marnie is single and Jessa is single. And Marnie isn't ready for another relationship yet. She's not sure she's even interested in meeting new guys either, so kissing--kissing is good.
The kissing is GOOD.
She sighs as some woman on the screen goes down on another and for just a second, Marnie wonders what that would be like.
Except, her door flies open and she closes her computer so quickly, it's painfully obvious she's hiding something, "God! Knock much?" She's breathless, and blushing, "Jessa--" And blushing some more.
"The door was open--" Jessa explains, closing Marnie's bedroom door behind her, before she calculatingly questions, "--what were you watching, Marnie? Porn?"
"NO," Marnie nearly pouts, scooting over in her seat a little as she arranges and rearranges her laptop in front of her, nervously hoping Jessa would just stop looking at her the way she's doing now. "I was just--someone told me The L Word was good, so I was watching it." She looks right at the blonde ass he says this, hoping the forced bravado will help her nerves some.
Jessa nods, a serious, understanding look of approval on her face before she asks, "Why'd you close your computer?"
"You scared me--" Marnie exhales.
"So, you're not ashamed or anything..."
Marnie snorts and shakes her head rather unconvincingly and offers a noncommittal, "What do I have to be embarrassed about? It's just a show. It's a good show."
Somehow, Jessa convinces Marnie to let her watch and after one or two scenes, Marnie becomes very much aware of Jessa's perfume and Jessa's everything. Marnie can't breathe. "Have you ever done that?" She blurts.
"A handful of times--" Jessa replies without even flinching--or looking at Marnie for that matter.
Marnie wonders if Jessa is think about her. "Do you like it?" She asks.
"Yes, I do actually. It's about the most intimate sexual experience of my life. It's--I don't know--eye opening, making love to a woman is a lot more gratifying, I think, because it's a bit more selfless than sex with a man. On an emotional level, you can't help but feel more connected to a woman. That's my opinion anyway." Jessa's brow goes up and her head tilts, "And it's hot too--bloody hell..."
Marnie's been watching Jessa's profile the entire time the blonde has been talking, unable to look away. It's physically impossible to not look at the pinkish pout and that carelessly perfect hair--that sultry voice. Marnie licks her lips and asks--her voice lower than anticipated, "So, are you a lesbian?"
"No, I don't think so--that redhead is my favorite I think."
"No, I don't know about that either. People are neither homosexual or heterosexual, I don't think. People are just--people. Marnie, you could be on this show."
"What?" Marnie laughs.
"Yeah, I mean--" Jessa looks at Marnie now and smiles, "--you're beautiful. And you'd look great on camera--kissing other girls and whatnot."
"I think you're beautiful." Marnie says. And it's in the silence between them that they both realize this is the first time Marnie has voiced her opinion in this matter.
And then, Jessa is kissing Marnie and it's perfect. She figures she can work up to more than kissing and it still won't mean anything because neither of them is a lesbian.