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From the Ground

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En route Mt. Weather-Camp Jaha

“She said it’s what I would’ve done.”

“She’s wrong.”

“I don’t think she is.”

“Then you’re both wrong.”

“How’d you figure that out?”

“She left the Reapers to die. The deal she took was only for the Grounders who were being bled.”

“She didn’t have to send her warriors to die for -”

“Because the Reapers aren’t her warriors? They didn’t ask to become monsters.”

“Like Lincoln.”

“Exactly. Men like Lincoln. That’s who she walked out on.”

“To spare others like them.”

“You’d’ve made that trade?”

“I sent you into the Mountain.”

“I volunteered.”

“Reapers or not, they were her warriors. If she had the right to make a treaty with us for just a chance to save them, then she had the right to let them die to spare the rest of her people. I sent you into that Mountain. I lied about Octavia being at Tondc. How’s what Lexa did not what I’d’ve done?”

“I’d still rather trust you.”



“Jasper thinks we should’ve waited.”

“Jasper’s wrong.”

“You think he wouldn’t have managed to kill Cage?”

“I think it doesn’t matter. The Guards would’ve killed him straight away if he’d killed their leaders. You killed them before they killed your best friend. So, yeah: if he’s pissed off with you for that, he’s an idiot.”

“We didn’t just kill the guards, we killed all of them. I killed Maya.”

That’s your problem?”

“No, that’s his problem. When Maya finally told - when she stopped lying to us, I was pissed. So she asked us what they should’ve done; said that for her people, it was bleed the Grounders or die.”

“Let me guess: you said they should have died.”

“And then I basically killed her.”

“And Jasper’s still basically an idiot. What were Maya’s options? Even if she’d survived the battle, living in an airlock’s barely a step up from under the floor.”

“You didn’t kill yourself.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m gonna wish it on someone else. And definitely not on someone I love. I was there when she died, okay? I heard her, myself. And trust me when I tell you, Maya knew exactly what she was doing. That was her choice. And Jasper doesn’t get to take that from her just because he loves her.”




“You think they accept you? Only reason you’re not in lock-up is because of Clarke.”

“Clarke -”

“- will float anyone she even thinks might be in her way, and have an entire argument about why she had to. And if you think otherwise, you’re wrong.”

“What I think is that my hands are just as bloody as hers are.”

“Don’t make it about that because that’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. I’m talking about her sending you into that Mountain to die -”

“- and you taking an oath of allegiance to a Grounder?”

“Which I cast away the second she was going to leave you behind. Whereas -”

“- going into the Mountain was my idea. Which, for the record, Clarke didn’t even like. Clarke didn’t ‘send me’ anywhere.”

“That’s like saying the Commander didn’t kill Gustus, because it was his plan to break the alliance.”

“It was his plan. You think he didn’t know what the risks were? He made his choice.”

“Now you listen to me, big brother: if Clarke tries to do that to you one more time, I’m going to kill her. Not try to, kill her. So don’t you ever think about doing something like that for her ever again, or I swear -”

“All right.”

“That’s it? ‘All right’?”

“Yeah. That’s it. All right. You’re my sister.”

“...shut up already.”



Day; Camp Jaha Infirmary

“What’s Clarke’s deal, anyway?”

“She feels guilty.”

“What for?”

“Killing everyone at the Mountain.”

“...that’s what she feels guilty for?”

“Don’t sound so surprised.”

“Only reason I’m not dead is because that bastard decided to torture Clarke by drilling into her mom, instead of sucking out the rest of my bones. Damn right, I’m surprised.”

“There were children in there.”

“Who needed our blood to survive just like their parents did.”

“They were still children.”

“So what? So we should’ve clothed them and fed them and raised them in air-lock-up until they turned 18, thenkilled them?”


“That’s the truth and you know it.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“When did we start talking about you?”

“Clarke and I pulled that lever together.”

“Except you’re here, and she’s not.”




“...we were going to before.”

“Things changed.”

“Yeah, I got better at staying alive.”

“Octavia -”

“If you’re going to say I was always good at surviving, I swear -”

“Have I ever lied to you?”


“You learned to hunt, find clean water, and fight; and I violated the Commander’s terms. For any of the Twelve Clans to help me in any way would be to break the Great Alliance.”

“We can make it on our own.”

“Maybe we can. But it’s safer to stay here.”

“It’s easier, not safer. Nowhere is safe.”

“Are you really this eager to only ever talk to one other person?”

“Hell yeah, if that person is you. I can’t even sleep under a ceiling; you think I want to live behind metal fences? You think I can ever be happy like this?”

“I’m not ready.”

Fuck, shit, I’m so sorry -”

“I should’ve just said it instead of making it about you.”

“Yes. Yes, you should have. But fine; we’re not leaving. For now.”



Morning, early; Camp Jaha Infirmary

“Clarke did what she had to do to keep all of us alive.”

“Which was killing everyone in that Mountain. Doesn’t explain why she exiled herself over it. But it’s Clarke, so I’m guessing she had a reason. She always does. So what’s her excuse for walking out on all of us?”

“The things we need to do to survive - she bears it, so we don’t have to.”

“I’m bearing it anyway.”



Morning, later; Camp Jaha


“I didn’t mean to interrupt -”

“Well, you did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey! Anything you wanted to say, or were you just going to stand there and be creepy?”

“Actually - it takes immense courage to defy someone you look up to. I was wondering if anyone’s told you that.”

“You’re delusional if you think I look up to you.”

“I know you don’t. But you do Indra.”

“I disobeyed Indra.”

“You also didn’t correct my use of the present tense.”

“Strength without discipline is nothing.”

“And what’s strength without a conscience?”

“A man who’d’ve execute a child for having been born. Don’t play it all moral with me, Commander. I remember exactly who you are.”

“And that makes you brave. You should remember that, too.”



Day; Camp Jaha Infirmary

 “I told him to leave. I did!”

“That doesn’t make what he did your responsibility any more tha-”

“Shut up. Just - shut up. You do get we’re no- That Finn and I weren’t like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like - like the way you think. Like the Guard.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Most of us who aren’t in the Guard don’t take orders, not like that.”

“You’re the one acting as if you ordered -”

“No, I’m acting as if Finn always did things for people he loved.”

“He only snapped when he saw that Grounder with Clarke’s watch.”

“He was only out there because of me! I’d just had major surgery without anesthesia, you think Finn would’ve left me, just like that? Did you even know him? Forget Clarke! Clarke wasn’t even there! I told him to get out there and find our friends!”

“I did know Finn. He thought of things no one else did. He thought up peace talks, and when that didn’t pan out, he’s the one who came up with a bomb. And yeah, he was loyal. But if you’re going to claim what Finn did out of loyalty you might as well claim what Clarke did with your knife.”



Day, next; Camp Jaha Infirmary

“Is there a problem?”

“No, why?”

“You keep looking at me.”

“I guess I’m still not used to new faces. It’s good, though.”

“All right, I gotta ask: why here? Why Medical?”

“Why are you surprised?”

“You’re a soldier, a warrior.”

“Are your warriors forbidden to be healers?”

“Absolutely not. But I can’t recall one who had real interest.”

“My best friend was our healer.”

“So you’re doing this in his memory?”

“He’s not dead.”

“I’m sorry, I assumed…”

“I understand.”

“If you were almost anyone else, I’d think you’re doing this out of guilt.”

“Saving one life doesn’t bring another back.”

“You’ve been through a lot even before we ever came here, didn’t you. That was stupid of me to ask.”

“Yes, it was. That’s the other reason I’m interested in healing.”

“What’s the first one?”

“It’s useful on the battlefield.”

“And other than in battle?”

“Among my people, only few could afford to not become warriors. Fighting’s necessary to staying alive. But to live in order to fight… that’s not a life I want to live.”

“That’s not a life anyone should be made to live.”

“I may not agree with all of the Commander’s decisions, but her truce is the longest peace the Clans had that anyone can remember.”

“On the Ark, the only enemy we had was from within. We spent so much effort on ensuring compliance -”

“Octavia told me.”

“She would’ve. I’m glad we have you. Both of you. And I hope we can do right by you from now on, but - I can’t promise it.”

“I know. And there’s another thing I know: when you fail, get up again.”