Jared would never lie to Peter. If Peter asked him something outright, he wouldn't hesitate to tell him the truth. That doesn't mean that Jared automatically tells Peter everything though...
When Peter and Jared get back home after their first year at college, Colleen welcomes them both with open arms and because Peter knows exactly when to play his hand, she agrees that they can throw a party to celebrate their return. It seems like such a great idea at the time.
But now, Peter's having way too much fun with all of his football buddies from high school to notice that Jared isn't even there; the guys who stayed behind to work at gas stations or their dad's construction firms because they didn't have Jared to get them through their SATs. And Jared's standing alone in the Peter's laundry room, getting horribly drunk and feeling sorry for himself.
He holds onto the counter top to stop himself from falling over as he tries to get the top off another beer. He's having limited success. The cheery sound of something being sung by Paula Abdul or Janet Jackson is seriously getting on his nerves, as is the sound of laughter and people having a good time. Actually, it's the sound of Peter having a good time that's really grating on him, but the others can fuck off too.
Jared jumps a little when he hears someone else come in, and turns to see Colleen standing in the doorway, regarding him with fond interest. Surreptitiously, he tries to slide the beer bottle behind a box of detergent.
'Oh, stop it, Jared,' Colleen scolds him with a smile. 'You couldn't hide it from me when you were sixteen. What makes you think you've got any better at your 'I'm not drinking, honest' face in the last three years?'
Jared just grins at her sheepishly, shrugs and retrieves the bottle, taking a long pull and then wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
Colleen wanders over to where he's currently propped up against the counter and parks herself next to him. 'So, are you gonna tell me why you're drowning your sorrows in here instead of having a good time out there,' she gestures in the direction of the muted sounds of the party. 'Or are you gonna make me guess?'
Jared takes another drink. He really doesn't want to get into this with Peter's mom, but he figures he probably doesn't have much of a choice. It is Colleen, after all.
'Okay... Well, I know it's not girl troubles 'cause Peter already told me that you broke up with that little red head a couple of months ago, so...'
'Oh, that's just great...' Jared blushes and wonders if Peter can keep his mouth shut about anything or whether he told Colleen about the time he couldn't get it up as well. With hindsight, Jared thinks that maybe he should stop telling Peter these things in the first place.
'So, unless you have a fetish for hanging around my laundry - and I wouldn't blame you for that y'know...'
This makes Jared snort just as he's trying to swallow a mouthful of beer and he nearly drowns himself. It takes a couple of seconds of Colleen thumping him on the back before he can breathe properly again, and even then he's still laughing.
'So, I'm guessing that it has something to do with the fact that my son's out there reliving his High School glory days with people who aren't you.' Gently, she takes the bottle from Jared's hands and drains the rest of it in a couple of swallows. 'How'd I do?'
'I think you missed your calling as a therapist,' he admits, wishing he still had the bottle to hold; he doesn't really know what to do with his hands so he settles for crossing his arms in front of him. 'And how lame does this make me?' he asks, not really wanting to know the answer.
'Oh, Jare-bear,' Colleen sighs, setting the empty bottle down and putting her arm around his shoulders. Jared leans his head gratefully on her shoulder, just because he feels a little bit woozy and maybe because Colleen smells really good. She brushes his hair back with her other hand and Jared closes his eyes. 'In ten years time, he's not even going to remember their names, but you will always be his best friend. You know that, right?'
Jared just nods because if he tries to say anything right now it will come out as an embarrassing squeak, and it's not like this isn't awkward enough already.
'Hey, come here, you. You'll never be too old for a hug, Jared.' She pulls him in to her and Jared slips both his arms around her. Yeah, it's not like he's never been hugged by Colleen before, so he just goes with it. They stay like that for a few seconds and then Colleen is stroking his hair as she whispers, 'Just let him get tonight out of his system, he'll be a much better friend tomorrow, I promise.'
Jared nods again. He can smell Colleen's shampoo and immediately he knows that it's the same one Peter uses. She places a soft kiss on the side of his head before pulling away slightly so she can look at his face. Suddenly, Jared's very aware of his breathing, the way that he and Colleen are pressed against each other, close enough to share body heat, and the fact that he no longer appears to be able to think clearly. There's a silence that probably lasts only seconds but feels like it stretches into hours.
And then they're kissing.
Jared doesn't know which of them makes the first move. All he knows is that it's happening almost too fast for him to process and he can't think about anything else other than how good it feels. Colleen pushes him up against the counter, her hands are in his hair and he can taste the beer they shared on her tongue. Jared's vaguely aware that his own hands have moved down to her ass, and that she hasn't stopped him. He'd laugh if it wasn't every fantasy he's ever had about Peter's mom, come true.
Jared pushes back against her until they're up against the opposite wall. Colleen has one hand under Jared's shirt now; nails scratching across his skin, making him draw in a sharp breath as his stomach kind of flips and starts to spiral inside him. He tugs at her top, any finesse completely gone now, un-tucking it from her jeans and sliding his hands underneath. Jared thrusts his hips hard against hers, riding the thigh that she's got shoved between his legs. She's kissing his neck now, and Jared groans as she gets him back up against the wall again, his breath coming too fast, as out of control as the rest of the situation.
And as fast as it began, it's over again. Colleen steps back, takes a deep breath and runs her hands over her hair and clothes; smoothing everything down again until she doesn't look quite so much like she just went to second base with her son's best friend.
There's a pause that's so awkward, Jared thinks he might have to redefine his understanding of awkward pauses. Then Colleen reaches out and softly rubs her thumb across Jared's lips, holding her hand out to show him that she was removing the smudges of lipstick from his mouth.
'I suppose I should be grateful you didn't do that with spit and a tissue, like you used to do with Peter, shouldn't I?'
'Who says I don't still do that with Peter?' Colleen smiles at the face that Jared pulls and some of the tension disappears. 'And I'm thinking that maybe we don't mention this to Peter?'
Jared nods, looking down at the floor. He can't imagine Peter being too happy to find out that Jared just had his hands on his mom's ass, no matter how incredible it was. And somehow he can't stop grinning.
'I know you think he hides it well,' Colleen continues, 'but believe me, Peter's no better at sharing you than you are at sharing him. And I really don't think he wants to share you with his mom. Well, not like that, anyway.' She smiles at Jared, like she's acknowledging their secret.
Something in those words, the ones about Peter not wanting to share him, make Jared's heart beat a little bit faster and his grin get a little bit wider. 'You're the best, Colleen,' Jared tells her and throws his arms around her neck before planting a big kiss on her cheek.
It's purely platonic this time but Colleen looks kind of surprised, like she didn't expect it considering what had just happened. But she brushes it, and him, off with, 'Well, I'm probably not going to win 'Mother Of The Year' anytime soon, but I appreciate the sentiment, Jared.' She smoothes her outfit down one last time. 'Now do me a favour - go out there and have some fun. This is your party too. Don't let the fact that my son has his head up his ass spoil it for you, okay?'
Jared just grins some more. 'Okay, I suppose I could go and join the party,' he says, like she's nagging him about something.
Colleen leans in to him one last time, a hand on his shoulder as she whispers in his ear, 'Although, you might just want to give it a couple of minutes...' She looks down, pointedly, then kisses his temple and disappears through the doorway.
Jared looks down too. He can feel himself blushing as he groans and lets his head fall back against the plaster of the wall behind him. He then spends the next six minutes thinking about baseball...
So yeah, Jared would never lie to Peter. And one day, when Jared makes yet another joke about how hot Peter's mom is, he just knows that Peter will come right out and ask him. And Jared will tell him the truth.
Jared just hopes that when that day comes, he can still outrun Peter...