Jackson couldn't believe they even came. Just because Scott was suddenly good at lacrosse, he thought that he could get into any party. Of course Stiles always came too. Like Stiles even belonged in Jackson's house. Why were people even talking to him? Stiles looked up at him with that ridiculous grin and Jackson just glared. How dare he smile at him like they were friends?
Jackson saw him frown but he ignored it. Why should he care how Stiles felt? He pulled a set of keys from his pocket and slipped the largest one into the door in front of him. He'd kept the door to the pool locked; he didn't need drunk people throwing up in there. He closed the door behind him and ran his hand through his hair. How could he have so many people in his house and feel so alone? Danny had disappeared into the crowd and he was the only person Jackson ever really felt he could talk to.
He was ridiculous. He was pathetic. He hated everyone but he hated himself more. It was his fault he was always so miserable.
Why did Stiles get to be so happy all of the time? The idiot was always grinning at something. That was why Jackson hated him so much. Nobody could help liking Stiles, even Jackson wanted to be close to him, but that only made him more angry.
As if he knew he was thinking about him, Stiles appeared, peeking around the door before walking into the room.
“Jackson? Are you alright?” he asked.
“This room is supposed to be locked,” Jackson replied angrily.
Stiles looked at him blankly and then clicked the lock shut.
“Better? What's wrong? You seem mad about something,” Stiles said.
Jackson didn't know why he was so angry. Stiles was only making it worse.
“You need to stay away from Lydia,” he said. “She isn't interested in you.”
It was needlessly vindictive but he needed to have something over him again. If Stiles was going to rub his happiness in his face, he could at least remind him that he'd never have her.
“What? I haven't even seen her today, Jacks. I haven't spoken to her and I know she's not interested... Why would she be interested when she's got you?” Stiles babbled, like he always did.
It was cute. No, no , no, it wasn't cute. It wasn't even funny. Maybe Jackson had been spending too much time with Danny. Could you catch gay?
Jackson turned away and suddenly wished he could go for a run. That always helped him to get rid of thoughts he didn't want to have. He couldn't leave his house unattended, though, so he stripped off his shirt and jeans and dove into the pool.
If he hadn't been a little intoxicated, then he might have thought twice about diving into water in his underwear in front of Stiles. It wasn't like he had anything to be ashamed of, though and Stiles had seen him in the locker room enough.
Stiles was still walking around the edge of the pool, talking about something unimportant but Jackson wasn't listening. He just kept swimming, letting the cold water wash over his skin.
“Jackson, fuck, why haven't you had a pool party yet? This is amazing.”
Jackson looked up at him and frowned. He wasn't being sarcastic, he was looking at the pool like it was the best thing he'd ever seen.
“Uh... Jacks? Mind if I get in? I mean, you can say no, I'll understand but -”
Jackson said yes just to shut him up. It was Stiles' genuine, beaming grin that made him regret it. His stupid fucking dimples made him want to hit him or touch him all over to see if he could pass on the joy... or something.
He watched as Stiles stripped down to his underwear, expecting him to dive in. He wasn't as surprised as he should have been when Stiles cannonballed into the water.
Stiles surfaced and swam over to him, looking a little awkward when he got close, as if he suddenly remembered that he was supposed to keep his distance.
“Uh, Jackson?” he asked, treading water only a foot away from him. “Are you okay now? You seemed pissed earlier.”
Jackson just shrugged. Stiles tilted his head and frowned. Jackson couldn't help but notice how cute his freckles were. He wanted to turn and swim away but Stiles drifted a little closer.
“Jacks? What's wrong?”
He couldn't tell him. He couldn’t tell him that he was tired of everyone else being happy when he wasn't. He couldn't say that he was scared that noting would ever be enough to make him happy. He had everything anyone could want, money, popularity, the girlfriend that everyone wanted but it wasn't enough. Stiles looked so genuinely concerned and Jackson was suddenly aware that nobody had asked how he was for a long time. He wanted to tell him.
Instead, to stop his mouth from spilling things that he wouldn't even admit to himself some days, he surprised himself. He kissed Stiles.
Stiles flinched, but he didn't pull away. His lips were hot, a strong contrast to the cold water on Jackson's. Stiles moaned softly as Jackson pulled him closer. He backed up towards the edge of the pool, to a place where they could touch the floor but the water still came up to their shoulders.
Stiles leaned into him and kissed him hungrily and Jackson knew that he didn't deserve it. He'd given Stiles so much shit that he didn't deserve and now he was acting like it was nothing, like they didn't hate each other. Maybe they didn't, maybe it was only Jackson. He deserved everyone to hate him.
He was kissing Stiles, he was kissing a guy but it wasn't that different to everyone else he'd ever kissed. Yet, at the same time, it was. There was no sticky lip gloss, no fear of what would happen if he messed the other person's hair up. He revelled in it, ran his hand up Stiles' neck and through his wet hair, smiling at the moan it pulled from his throat. Jackson could feel Stiles' cock, it was hard against him. He knew that it should freak him out but he was just as hard as he was.
Jackson ran his hands down Stiles' body, gripping at his hips and pulling him hard against him, grinding their crotches together.
“Oh, fuck, Jacks,” Stiles groaned and Jackson had to kiss him again, had to get closer, had to get more of him.
Stiles dropped his head after a few moments, pressing his lips to Jackson's neck. Jackson bucked his hips, searching for that friction. He knew he was past the point of no return, he couldn't turn back now even if he wanted to. Everything was Stiles and that was all he wanted. His breaths against his neck were shallow and quick, giving him goosebumps and Jackson couldn't help groaning as Stiles rolled his hips again.
They might as well have been naked, their boxer briefs wet and clinging to their erections. Jackson decided that if it they were that close to it, then it wouldn't matter if they actually were. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of Stiles' underwear and gently rolled the fabric down under the water before doing the same to himself.
It turned out that a millimetre of wet fabric can make a world of difference. When Jackson wrapped his hand around their cocks, holding them together, Stiles bucked his hips immediately.
“Fuck...” Jackson muttered.
He was close, he knew he was and it would have been embarrassing if he wasn't so turned on. He was going to hold back, though. He wanted to make sure it was good for Stiles, too. He needed him to come first.
For once, he cared. He wasn't just trying to get off because he knew Stiles wasn't just with him to make himself look good.
“Jacks... please...” Stiles begged, not really begging for anything but it sounded good on him.
Jackson tightened his grip, sliding his hand over their cocks faster. Stiles started babbling again as he started to thrust against him so Jackson kissed him, feeling the heat of his mouth and wondering what it would feel like on his cock.
He couldn't hold out any longer, not with that mental image, but neither could Stiles. There was skin on skin, hands gripping at hips and shoulders and faces, breathy exclamations and desperation as they both came.
Jackson held on to him and the seconds stretched like minutes as his heart rate started to return to normal. He didn't want it to stop, but he knew it would. He listened to Stiles' breathing and dreaded the moment that it slowed, the moment he recovered so he could pull himself out of the pool and walk away. He didn't want to think about it. Stiles was going to leave and then he'd be alone again. Stiles was the only person other than Danny that had actually wanted to be around him, no ulterior motive and now he was going to leave.
“Uh...” Stiles said as he backed away from him.
He didn't look like he wanted to leave, but he looked like he thought he had to. For him to stay, Jackson would have to admit that he wanted him to. He'd have to admit that if they weren't in the pool, if they were in his bed, he'd want him to stay with him so they could just lie down together. He'd have to admit that he thought Stiles seemed like fun, that he didn't feel like he had to keep up any stupid façade in front of him.
But Jackson couldn't do that. So he just watched Stiles pull up his underwear and pull himself out of the pool. H e stayed in the water as he got dressed and pretended he didn't regret every step away from him that Stiles took.