Work Text:
Have you gotten all the leaves and stuff out of your hair yet?
Well I could use a hand.
I'm not sure your shower's big enough. Or is this a social grooming thing you were going for?
Your evolutionary ancestors pick things out of each other's fur, not mine. I need a bigger shower.
And here I was looking forward to getting to pet you. You do. We can make that our first project, when I'm officially moved in.
So I get you living with me and a new shower. Yeah having you move in has to be the best plan I've ever come up with.
Glad you're still on board. Because I kind of contacted a real estate agent about selling my house.
Really? Alright! Yeah just figure out what stuff you want to keep, man. We'll find a place for it.
Yeah, really. I practically live there anyway, so the only difference would be we'd have some money to actually do that shower remodel. And I'm working on a list. Do you have a barbecue grill?
I have one. Just the bottom is pretty much rusted though. Not much of a need to keep one around when I couldn't make anything on it.
Right, that'll be first on the list of things we throw out. We'll keep mine, I've been experimenting with vegetarian stuff.
You have? And it's edible? Alright I'll recycle mine.
Well, some of my first attempts weren't that great, but now? Yeah, there's a lot you can do with vegetarian stuff now. I bought some cookbooks.
Dude, you didn't have to.
I wanted to. I like grilling, and I want you to be able to enjoy it, too. I don't mind doing the vegetarian thing.
Look man just because I don't eat meat doesn't mean you have to cut it out entirely.
Hey, I never said anything about that. I haven't cut it out, I had a burger for lunch today. But I'm not going to make you deal with it in your own house.
Our house.
In our house. I don't want you to have to deal with it in our house.
Better. And thanks.
You don't have to thank me for respecting you. It's kind of what boyfriends are supposed to do.
Well typically a boyfriend wouldn't have to put up with as much crap as you're going to have to.
It's not any more than you're going to have to put up with from me.
Well we already deal with the you're supposed to decapitate me problem. Not sure how any others can be much harder.
How about the fact that you're about 87% more likely to get killed since you met me? Or that people seem to like beating you up just for associating with me? Not to mention the stuff you're going to have to deal with just from my normal life.
Only 87%? You're feeling optimistic. And people would have beat me up anyway for helping you. Dating you isn't going to change anything more.
That's not changing the fact that people are still going to try to beat you up, and you have a high likelihood of getting killed for a boyfriend who has a job that means he's probably going to miss dinners and dates and always be late.
Hey wait a second, I signed on for the death and the beatings but missing dinners? That's taking things too far.
...I can't tell if you're serious or not, man, but I am. There's a reason a lot of cops don't have long term relationships.
Dude it's dinner. It's fine. The worst that'll happen is I'll finish it off and you won't get leftovers.
Except that I won't. I don't need you starving.
Four of the beers are gone the next time Monroe goes to the trailer, and there's a bunch of scribbled out post its in the recycling bin.
I'm pretty sure I could never starve with you taking care of me.
All four beers have been replaced when Nick returns to the trailer. So Monroe saw them, left the trailer, bought more and came right back to replace them. This post it note is stuck to the fridge.
Rough day?
Kind of. I just don't want to screw this up. To disappoint you.
Well now you've lost me. How the hell could you screw this is?
There's a new six pack in the fridge now, replacing the old one.
It's just, you keeping saying there's a lot I have to deal with, dating you, like you don't realize how much comes with dating me. Like you don't realize I'm the one who's lucky to have you, like you don't get how easy it is for me to disappoint.
Dude. I could lose it one day and try it eat you. I've seen how deep you get into cases. And I might not see you as much as I want, but come on man, I'm used to being alone. I'm not a delicate little flower so quit worrying.
There's a few post-its in the recycling, but they're not scribbled out as well as in the past, and words like "Juliette," "Hank," "can't," "lose," and "forever" are visible.
I know. This case is just getting to me. Which you're probably aware, considering how much sleep I'm not getting. And come on, the only way you'd ever try to eat me is in a way I'd really not protest.
Don't worry about it man. And I'm not going anywhere especially over a missed dinner. And if you can take a real lunch break tomorrow we can test how little you'll protest.
Yeah. ...with that kind of offer, there's no way I can concentrate to work through my lunch break, anyway.
I'll bring you a sack lunch too. I don't want you not eating because I distracted you.
Oh, I'm sure I'll be eating plenty.
How early can you take lunch? Does like 9 am work?
Not for a case like this. -scribbles- But I can swing 11.
See you 11!