"I don't know but..." Britta looked up at the banner announcing the Greendale Twins Dance and down at the black maxi skirt and flowy purple blouse she was wearing. "Don't you think the dean is reaching a bit with this dance?"
"This isn't the most meaningless event he's thrown this year, and I'm sure Professor Carrigan's new twin baby sheep are very cute," Jeff remarked from where he stood casually leaning against the wall near a vending machine.
"They're called lambs, Jeff," Annie huffed as she walked up with Troy and Abed trailing behind her like awkward, mismatched baby ducks. "By the way do either of you know who Shirley is dressed as? She's wearing a cardigan, but I can't tell if she's supposed to be me or Abed."
This would probably be a good moment to mention that the premise behind the Greendale Twins Dance was that everyone had to dress like one of their friends. It would have made more sense to wear the same outfit as a friend, to dress identically like, say, twins, but this was Greendale. The word logic literally wasn't in Greendale's dictionary (because someone had torn out the L section in all the dictionaries in the library after a particularly nasty breakup).
Annie and Troy were both dressed as Abed in graphic tees under comfy zip-up hoodies. Abed, however, was surprisingly not dressed as Troy. He had gone all out on a Britta costume: blonde wig, white tank top, black vest, long multi-strand necklace, tight jeans, and stripper boots. For some reason he also had an unlit cigarette tucked behind one ear.
"I'm Britta from the pilot," Abed offered.
Everyone stared at his boots.
Pierce was dressed as Jeff. "Why is everyone dressed like Ay-bed? Why is Ay-bed a hooker? Why isn't anyone dressed as me?" he frowned at the other members of the study group. "And why is Jeff dressed as himself?"
"I'm not dressed as myself. I'm Troy in a suit." Jeff pulled out his phone. He was only there for the extra credit.
"Thanks, man." Troy grinned.
"So..." Annie edged over to Shirley nonchalantly. "We were wondering--"
"Who are you dressed as?" Britta blurted out. She held the enormous handbag she was carrying in front of her like a shield.
"Britta!" Annie squeaked indignantly.
Shirley ladled some punch into a cup, and then she thought better of it and poured the punch back into its bowl. "I'll give you a hint. I live with Troy."
Annie and Britta exchanged troubled looks. It looked like they were on their own with this one.
They studied Shirley's outfit again, but it still wasn't clear who she was supposed to be. She was wearing a princess pink cardigan of more of an Abed cut over a white cami, which definitely would have tipped the outfit into Annie territory had it not been for the plain Abed-like tennis shoes. The jeans she had on could have gone either way since they were a flared cut neither of Shirley's friends would have picked.
"That's nice?" Britta smiled uncertainly.
"I think we need to get in line for costume judging now!" Annie rushed both of her fellow study group women to the front of the room.
"Why did you dress up as Abed?" Troy asked as he and Annie waited in line together.
"Why did you dress like Abed?" Annie parroted back.
"Why wouldn't I dress up as Abed?" Troy said warmly. "He's my best friend. He's always got the best ideas, and I don't know, he's pretty cool."
"Same reason for me, I guess. I'm really glad he asked me to move in with you guys. I haven't felt so happy and safe at home since before my pill addiction." Annie smiled shyly. "I should have dressed as you so we could be Troy and Abed and do the handshake for the judges."
"That would've been cool." Troy gently nudged Annie.
"Cool cool cool." Annie nudged him back.
Here are the results of the Twins Dance judging:
Best costume: Garrett as Starburns
Worst costume: Abed as Britta
Most handsome Jeff Winger: Jeff as Troy (much to Pierce's chagrin)
Most confusing costume: the Human Being as a French Maid Being
"Did you really have to protest winning worst costume?" Annie asked Abed in the car on the way back to their apartment.
Abed shifted his ice pack so he could meet her eyes in the rearview mirror with his good one. "I was trying to stay in character. I didn't know that security guard would punch me in the face. They usually taser people."
"I don't think you were the worst, Abed." Troy turned to look at his injured bunkmate from his place riding shotgun. "Your wig was perfect."
"Yeah, the dean probably didn't want a Britta to win," Annie added. "But you won in our hearts. I think Britta was really happy talking about grassroots politics and indie music with you the whole time too."
Abed's lips slightly quirked up in a smile. He did a snaking motion with his free arm and said, "Britta for the win!"