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When I Close My Eyes

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When I Close My Eyes
Prologue

 

They had a summertime wedding outside on a beautiful July morning. After a perfect honeymoon which resulted in the two lovebirds being turned into lobsters (it was ungodly hot in Mexico this time of year), they moved into a large house that would be perfect to raise children – hopefully three boys and three girls.

 

However, that’s when things came crashing down. Birgitta had gotten pregnant twice since them, but they both ended in a miscarriage. Finally, after the second time, she demanded they go talk to the doctor and get options worked out for them.

 

“I’m sorry,” the redheaded doctor with the crystal blue eyes frowned and the couple sat across from her. “Birgitta, it’s just… your body cannot support a child and yourself. Plus, with your medical record… it would just be best not to try…”

 

The blonde haired female inhaled, adjusting her glasses. “So you’re saying I can’t?”

 

“No,” the woman shook her head. The wheat colored haired man turn to his bride, and then back to the woman as she continued on. “I’m advising that you don’t. You really shouldn’t… I know, this must be hard… but the outcome could be horrendous…”

 

“And what would that be?”

 

The Finnish man had known her since he was sixteen and they had been married for four (since they wanted to get it done with and not wait until after college like Mathilde and Lukas), and this was the most Birgitta had even said to one person.

 

“You could deliver the baby prematurely, causing various health issues and even death…” He almost felt bad for her. His wife was intimidating enough as it was, and to have her almost accusing you of being the reason she couldn’t have children was probably putting her in an uneasy spot. “And carrying it full term will take a toll on your health enough to… to kill you… or the baby… or both.”

 

Birgitta nodded, looking over at her husband. “Thank you for your time, Dr. Brown,” she said, slinging her purse over her shoulder and walking out. The indigo eyes man hissed and waved goodbye to the woman.

 

“Hey, Gitta,” the Finnish man said, grabbing her arm. “Slow down, Birgitta! What’s up?” She grunted, her blue eyes casted down and her posture slumped over. “Oh… I know you really wanted your own children… but we could adopt, you know?”

 

“She never said we couldn’t…”

 

“Dr. Brown said she didn’t advise for us to have any,” he frowned. “So therefore, we shouldn’t.”

 

“We have all this space, Tino!” she grumbled. “Do you know how long it could take before we can actually adopt?”

 

“We can rent out a room or two!” Tino suggested. His smile lit up his face, but she still looked gloomy. “It’ll also give us some extra money too! So it’s kind of a win-win?”

 

“…”

 

She turned her back towards him and began to walk away. “Hey! Where you goin’?” he shouted, chasing after the Swedish woman.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks later, Tino was hammering a sign that read “Room For Rent” into their front yard.

 

“How much for the first month?”

 

Looking up, he examined the tall, slender female before him. She was young with sandy blonde hair and eyes as deep and sparkling as the blue ocean. She smiled, and her slightly bushy eyebrows quirked. “Well?” She wore hear long hair in a fishtail, a hat snuggly on her head.

 

“Uhm, hi,” he reached forward, taking her hand. “I’m Tino Väinämöinen.” She smiled, and nodded.

 

“I’m Piper Kirkland,” she introduced herself.

 

“A Kirkland?” he sounded shock. She nodded, humming in confirmation. “Really? How are you related?”

 

“Alice, Lewis, Ethan, Logan, and Conor are my older siblings,” she began to explain as he led her into the house. “Although I only hear from Alice and Lewis. I’m a senior in high school and Conor decided to up and sell the house, leaving me with no place.”

 

“That’s awfully rude,” Tino remarked, nodding his head. “But Alice was a grade ahead of me in high school, so I know her pretty well.”

 

“I’ll say!” she snorted. “Anyway, my options were to either rent a room for cheap or move to England to study with her.” Her face twisted up as she sat down on the sofa next to him. “But the thing is Alice doesn’t want me studying marine biology. She wants me to be something a proper lady would do.”

 

“So you’re looking for a place to stay?” Birgitta entered the room and crossed her arms. “Ah, Birgie! This is Piper. She’s a Kirkland! And she’s interested in renting out one of the rooms!”

 

“Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Väinämöinen,” she stood up, trying to play it off as formal and reached for head hand. After hesitantly shaking it, the Swedish woman turned to her husband.

 

“How much are you asking of her?”

 

“I was going to ask you that,” he responded to her question standing up. “We aren’t asking much.”

 

“You’ll pay one hundred and fifty,” she started in. “You help keep the place clean and you don’t disrupt me when I am in the piano room. Understand?” Piper nodded and smiled.

 

“This is perfect! Thank you so much! I’ll even pitch in for groceries and cook and…!” Birgitta held up her hand, cutting off the enthusiastic teen.

 

“You also will give us twenty-four hours warning when you plan on having guest come over.” A pregnant pause. “Two days notice when you have boys coming over, as Tino does have the best shot next to Vash Zwingli and will not hesitate to shoot.”

 

“I will!” Piper squealed and embraced the Swede. “Thank you so much, Mr. and Mrs. Väinämöinen!”

 

The Finn laughed, “Call me Tino!”

 

“And call me Birgitta.”

 

Piper pulled away and gave the Finn a big hug as well. “Okay, I can do that.” She smiled and told them she’d bring her things over tomorrow. As she left, Tino walked out and removed the sign from the front yard, smiling as his wife looked up at the sky.

 

Piper moved in and everything seemed to go smoothly with her around. She wasn’t too much trouble and Birgitta seemed to like her quite a bit. She taught her how to bake and play piano, while Piper taught her how to sew and sculpt. Tino took part in these activities as well and they almost were like a family unit.

 

However, that was going to change in January the following year. The next year would bring a lot of change, and only time would tell if they could handle it.

Chapter Text

When I Close My Eyes
A Sudden Change

 

Piper sighed, sweeping up the kitchen floor and looking out the window. It was a gloomy, rainy day in April and the young woman was anxious for the sun to come out. She didn’t mind being trapped in the house – there was plenty to do – but she’d much rather be having human interaction.

 

Sure, Birgitta was almost always home, but today she had been locked up in her piano room almost all day, and one of the important rules was she was not to be disturbed when she was in there. Piper had never gotten the urge to discover what would happen if she were to break this rule, but the Swede’s stepsister had laughed and told her that she hoped she’d never find out what would happen.

 

Sandy blonde curls bounced as she picked up the dustpan and dumped it into a nearby garbage can. Now that the entire house was spotless, maybe she would make something for lunch and invite the mistress of the house (as Tino so affectionately called her) to join her. As she placed the broom into a nearby closet, she walked over to stove. She started to get the supplies out for their grilled sandwiches when she was interrupted by the pounding on the door.

 

“I’m coming,” she shouted, setting down the bread and walking over to the door. She unlocked it and there stood a middle aged woman, her face covered in wrinkles and spots, her graying hair tied up in a neat bun. “Uhm… may I help you?”

 

“Is Ms. Oxenstierna here?”

 

Piper blinked, frowning in confusion. “Oh… you must mean Mrs. Väinämöinen? Yes, she’s here. Who might you be?” The woman offered her a card, and the British girl frowned, reading the small print. “You’re from DHS?” she inquired.

 

“If I may please speak with Mrs. Väinämöinen now, please. It’s rather… important.”

 

“Let me see what I can do,” the blonde tentatively said, stepping aside. “Please, come in. I was just making lunch. Would you like to join us?”

 

“Not today, dearie,” the woman spoke, sitting down on a chair and crossing her legs. “But if you could hurry? It’s rather urgent.” Piper sighed, turning around and entering the kitchen before turning it off. She then pushed open a door that led to the hallway and climbed up the stairs, stopping at the first door on the second floor.

 

“Birgitta,” she knocked. “Someone is here to see you. They say it’s urgent. She’s from DHS.” The piano abruptly stopped and the Swede whipped the door open, startling the young female. “Uhm… I’m sorry… I’m making lunch, would you like something?”

 

“Yes,” she deadpanned, before walking past the younger female and descending down the stairs. Piper returned to the kitchen and made the sandwiches in no time, entering the living room and setting a plate down in front of Birgitta.

 

“I don’t know how my husband will take this,” the Swede began, reaching for her glass of water. “He’s rather… odd… and I haven’t spoken to him in years. He was always bitter towards me.”

 

“They would not want it any other way.” She stood up, straightening her dress out. “I will bring him by Friday and help you all get acquainted. He will move in on Sunday.”

 

“I really have no choice?”

 

“No,” the DHS caseworker frowned. “You don’t. If you need help, please call me. I have been working with Viktor since the… the accident. By the way, the wake is tomorrow and the burial is Wednesday. You can meet Viktor then too.”

 

“Very well,” Birgitta stood up and led her to the door, whispering something to her before seeing her off. After closing the door, Piper looked up from her sandwich, frowning. “My aunt and uncle died in a car crash two weeks ago.”

 

“I’m so sorry…” the young Brit muttered. Birgitta shook her head.

 

“Their will stated that if they were to die, custody of their son would go to me.”

 

Piper clicked her tongue. “So, what happened?” she asked, watching as her (somewhat) landlord took a bite of her lunch. “I mean… if you want to talk about it.”

 

“The roads had been slick. They were coming back during a storm from some event. Viktor was asleep in the backseat and something happened – I think they hit a bump – and they ended up driving into a ravine or a creek, I think.” She inhaled sharply. “They rolled their car and my uncle was killed instantly. My aunt got Viktor out before the car went under. She drowned. Viktor was standing on the bank and watched the whole thing.”

 

“So he practically watched his parents die?”

 

“I guess.”

 

“Was Viktor injured?”

 

Birgitta nodded. “He had a few shattered ribs and dislocated his shoulder. However, he has this large scar under his right eye now. He’s… thirteen? Maybe fourteen now.”

 

She grew silent and shook her head. “So, he’s going to live with us now?” Piper mumbled, nibbling at the crust of her sandwich. The Swede nodded and peeled her crust away. “Well, I’ll go clean out one of the empty rooms and he can use that for a bedroom.”

 

“I need to talk to Tino too.”

 

Birgitta stood up and grabbed the empty plate from Piper. The whole room seemed as gloomy and dark as the world outside did.

 

* * *

 

“You know it’d be nice to be informed of this!”

 

“You think I knew? Tino, I just found out there was even an accident!”

 

The Finn threw a fork into the dishwasher and slammed it shut. “Yeah, but since when was it okay to accept these things when I wasn’t home, Birgitta? I thought we agreed we’d talk about the choice before deciding on anything this rash!”

 

“I didn’t have much of a choice,” Birgitta retorted, a hand on her hip. “Tino, please. It could take months before our applications are even looked at for any adoption agency. I mean, we’re technically already the parents of Piper…”

 

“We aren’t really her parents…”

 

“We attend her school functions, we feed her, she lives in our house… for fuck sakes, Tino, she even does the chores and practically gets an allowance from us!” the Swede was on the verge of tears. “Tino, please. This can be our chance at parenthood for the time being. I know Viktor is older, but he needs the love of a mother and father more than ever… and he’s my family! You don’t leave your family out in the cold when they need you the most!”

 

The Finn bit the skin off his lip, shaking his head. “It still would’ve been nice to be here and talk this over…”

 

“Tino!” she shouted.

 

“But… I guess if it really means that much to you…” he frowned. “We can. I mean… I guess we don’t have a choice, but I really guess it’d be good for us. I mean…”

 

She smiled, embracing him and kissing his neck. “I love you. You’re absolutely the sweetest man in the world.”

 

He shrugged, leaning against her and forcing a small smile. “And I married the world’s most incredible woman.” She nuzzled his shirt, and whispered, “I love you too, Gitta.”

Chapter Text

When I Close My Eyes
April Showers

 

Teal eyes stared at the various buildings as they drove down the main street, hugging loudly and blowing his red-orange bangs from his face. The rain had not ceased since last week and it was driving him crazy. It was like the sky was mocking all the tears he shed last week over the funeral and wake.

 

He always hated the rain.

 

“You’ll love it,” the woman in the driver’s seat said, pulling up to a stoplight. “They have a big, spacious house and backyard. They’re really nice people. Even the girl who is renting out a room is a sweetheart…”

 

A big house and yard meant nothing to him. What he wanted was to be back in his old house with his real parents.

 

He groaned, worrying his bottom lip and raising a finger to lightly run it over his scar, which he had received from the accident. The scar started from far side of his left cheek, extending over his nose.

 

He was slowly getting used to it.

 

The woman kept talking and he just nodded, humming and tossing in a few vowel sounds when it seemed appropriate. He just kept his bony fingers pressed against the gash on his face, a deep frown forming. “And they got you into the academy for school. You’re a very lucky boy. You have people taking an interest in you, Viktor.”

 

His parents had made sure he was well-kept too – so where were their praises? Or did this bitch already forget that these people died and was already plotting ways to make it look like she was an angel sent from heaven above, commanded by God himself to save the life of a poor, unfortunate child?

 

His parents had always taken an interest in him – these people were only doing it because it was expected.

 

And he hated them for that.

 

The social worker put the car in park and turned to the ginger boy. “Well, Viktor, this is your new home.” He glanced up at the large house. These bastards probably had three other kids and a little dog too. He was damn sure of it.

 

“I don’t want to live with them.”

 

“They’re your only family.”

 

“I don’t give a fuck.”

 

“Language, Viktor.”

 

Viktor groaned, pulling his hood up. He opened the car door and slid out, slamming it shut and walking around to the back of the car, opening the trunk and grabbing his bags. The woman frowned as she grabbed her umbrella and stepped out as well, opening the shield from the rain.

 

“You’ll adjust in no time. They’re very nice people. There’s a girl here that’s only about three or four years your senior.”

 

Even with how reassuring she tried to make everything sound, Viktor just didn’t want to believe it. He was unhappy with how things had turned out. If they had left just a few hours from the party earlier, he wouldn’t have to impose on these perfect people with their perfect lives. He would be at his own home, curled up with the cat by the fire, listening to his mother sing as she prepared lunch and watching his father page through a book.

 

He wanted his old life back so badly he would die for the chance.

 

“Hello!”

 

A rather high-pitched voice drew him from his thoughts, and he looked over at the front porch. There stood a rather tall female, with somewhat large eyebrows and curly, sandy blonde hair. The social worker nodded at him and Viktor groaned, groggily dragging himself up the stairs and being greeted by the overly happy young lady.

 

“I’m Piper Kirkland! You must be Viktor.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Viktor nodded and walked into the house, dropping his bags by the closet and slipping his shoes off. “Make yourself at home! Birgitta will be right down after she finishes up her lesson.” He hadn’t spoken two words to her, but Viktor already found her annoying. She frowned and turned to the case worker, who just shrugged her shoulders and whispered comforting words to her.

 

“And I’ll see you next week. Practice your dynamics and facials, please.” A tall, rather lanky girl with two long braids nodded, clutching her books to her chest and turning on her heels and walking by him and out the door. “Oh… I wasn’t expecting you so early.”

 

Viktor blinked, studying the woman before him. She was tall, with long blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. “Hello,” the woman behind him spoke. “Yes, we got here earlier than expected. I’m sure Viktor is excited to meet you… right, Viktor?”

 

The young redhead flinched at the tone she was using and nodded. “Where is your husband, Mrs. Väinämöinen?”

 

“He had to work.” She walked over to where Viktor had set his bags and handed them over to Piper, smiling. “Take these to his room, please. I would like to chat with Mrs. Marks for a few minutes.” She nodded and snatched the bags, walking out of the living room.

 

“Now,” Mrs. Marks said, sending an off glance toward the young ginger who had decided to take a seat on the sofa. “I will be back in two weeks to see how things are going. If you need anything, here’s my card. Do not hesitate to call…”

 

“We’ll be fine, I’m sure.”

 

“He’s a bit of a… handful.” Birgitta shrugged it off and the woman stepped outside. “See you soon, Mrs. Väinämöinen.”

 

“Bye.”

 

Shutting the door, the tall woman turned to the young boy. “Now,” she began softly, making her way towards him. “How are you, Viktor?”

 

“Well,” he spat. “My parents are dead, they moved me about an hour away from my old friends, and now I’m sitting here talking to you. How do you think I feel?”

 

Birgitta bit her lip and sat down next to him. “So… not good.” He rolled his eyes and huffed. “Well, if you need anything, just ask. We eat dinner at seven. You can grab a little something before that, if you want…”

 

“Because I totally need your permission to when I can eat, right?”

 

The teen stood up and walked off, leaving a rather flustered Birgitta to her thoughts.

 

* * *

 

“I don’t know what to do, Tino!”

 

The Finn sighed at the other end. “I’m sorry baby, but he’s probably having a hard time adjusting…” The Swede groaned and leaned over the piano keys, shaking her head. “Give him time. He just lost both his parents.”

 

“When will you be home?”

 

Tino shrugged and Birgitta frowned. “I don’t know. I’m covering this big story about the dance company. Did you know that in May they’re going to be showcased at this intense company type of thing in Minnesota?”

 

“No shit.”

 

He laughed and rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll be home by dinner and we can discuss this then. Until then…”

 

She smiled. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

Birgitta hung up and rubbed her temples.

 

“What the hell have I gotten myself into?”

 

* * *

 

“You start school next week.”

 

Viktor pushed his corn around on the plate and nodded, not really listening to what was being said. “You’ll only be there for about a month at most, but then you can start fresh sophomore year.”

 

“Great.”

 

Piper glanced at the young boy and frowned. “Don’t sound so glum, Viktor. You haven’t even been to Hetalia Academy.”

 

“A stuck up prep school? No thanks, I preferred my old school.”

 

Birgitta frowned and shook her head, listening as the front door opened and closed. “I’m home!” The Finn entered the dining room and smiled, setting his briefcase down onto the floor. “And this must be the newest addition to the family!”

 

“I am not,” Viktor hissed through gritted teeth. “I am not a member of this fucking family.”

 

“…okay, how’s the corn then?”

 

Viktor shoved his plate away from him violently. He stood up and threw the napkin down at the table. “Don’t you guys see? I don’t want to fucking be here! I want to be in my old house! I want my old friends! I want my fucking parents back!”

 

“Viktor.”

 

The redheaded Swede shook his head and stormed out of the room. Birgitta bit her lip and buried her face in her hands.

 

“He’s been here six hours and he already hates it.”

 

“I’ll talk to him…” Tino groaned, grabbing a can of soda from the fridge and opening it. “But I’m going to give him some time to cool down.”

 

The statement was finished by the distant slamming of another door.