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Lost & Found

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Olivia Dunham isn’t one to let others in. To let others see what was really going on under that beautifully created shell, the shield that surrounded her.
Olivia had lost the five most important things in her life. These losses are what shape who she is, who she was when she was found again.

 

It all started with her Step father.
She lost her childhood when he stepped into her life. She lost her childhood innocence the day she shot him. But she was glad she did. Her only regret was that she didn’t kill him.
She was never the same.

 

Olivia lost her mother. She’d held onto her emotions. Putting on a brave face for Rachel. But everything kept building up inside her. Like a balloon that kept filling with water. It would burst eventually. She refused to admit it at first, wanting nothing more than to go back to when it was just her, Rachel and her mother. It wasn’t until the funeral did Olivia start to accept that she was gone. She was alone.
She was never the same.

 

Olivia lost Charlie. It wasn’t her being the one that put a bullet in him that was the worst part. The worst part was that she never saw it. The differences. She never noticed that he had been replaced by a shape shifter. The real Charlie was long dead by the time she realised it. Olivia had lost her one true friend.
‘You’re going to be fine’ he had told her, – she couldn’t help but wonder if it still applied.
She was never the same.

 

Olivia lost Peter. She tried, she really did, to move on. She tried for it to be okay. She even tried pretending that everything was fine. Hell, even Peter had bought the whole “it’s okay”, but she couldn’t convince herself that it was.
Did he not know her at all? She was dying, painfully slowly, inside, while he went on like it was okay. It wasn’t okay. How could he not know that? Olivia was beyond heartbroken. She was a delicate glass swan, now mashed across the floor, a million glass fragments. Unfixable. Broken forever.
She was never the same.

 

Olivia lost her life. Her alternate self had taken everything. Her home, her friends, her bed, her clothes. She had taken her life. She had taken Peter. Olivia did try to go on, like nothing was different, but every time she looked in the mirror, every time she looked at Peter, or Walter, or Astrid, looked at her bed. She would always see her. Her with Peter, her talking with Walter or Astrid, her wearing her clothes. She had taken her life.
She was never the same.

 

That night, when she went to Peter’s, whiskey in hand, she didn’t plan for anything. It was a spur of the moment thing. She thought she’d give it a go, being civil. They were making progress, even if it was just friends, if it never went past friends, it was still progress.
But she told him she wanted what he wanted. And she did. She only realised it then, that she really, truly did. She kissed him. And she took his hand.
She found herself again, with Peter.

 

Olivia Dunham was lost once, a long, long, time ago. She would never be the same because of those losses.
But she found herself again, and she was never the same, but for the better.