Chapter Text
“You know, you’re probably gonna die soon. Once you can’t move anymore, that’s when they cut you open. They don’t like wasting anesthesia on the lab rats.”
Alex’s eyes snapped open, flicking around his cell in search of the voice. He turned his head to look into the cell next to his, still empty. The cell across from him was empty too. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about the mutants that had once occupied those cells. Mutants he’d known. Mutant’s he’d fought with. Mutants he’d considered his friends.
Alex forced himself to his feet, staggering over to the far edge of the cage. He squinted, trying to see if any guards or techs had come into the holding area. They hadn’t, or if they had it was too dark for Alex to see them. His eyes were one of many body parts that no longer functioned the way they should. His hands shook every time he tried to hold something, his legs were unreliable at the best of times, and he couldn’t hear quite right out of one ear. Though, really, if he was being honest with himself that was just scratching the surface.
Unable to stand up anymore Alex sunk to the ground, leaning up against the mesh of metal that made up the walls of the cell. More like a cage really, Alex thought, cells were for people, cages were for animals, and wasn’t that what they were? Just animals for Trask to experiment on. The voice had called them lab rats.
It wasn’t very comfortable, leaning up against the cage wall like he was, but Alex didn’t have the energy to move anymore. He already felt like he’d overexerted himself just from walking a few steps. After a few heavy breaths, Alex tried to speak.
“Is- is anyone there?” He managed to croak after a few attempts, but he was only met with silence. Had he just hallucinated the voice? But he’d thought the voice had been so clear, Alex had been sure someone was actually there. When he didn’t hear the voice again, Alex decided that it had just been a hallucination, and he crawled back over to the corner he’d been sitting in before, to try and get some sleep before the techs came to poke and prod at him again.
Alex was just started to doze off when the door to the cell block banged open. He jerked awake immediately, eyes darting to the door, hoping, praying that they weren’t coming for him. They weren’t, it was his lucky day it seemed, or unlucky, depending on how you looked at it. The longer you lasted the longer you suffered, and Alex had never been foolish enough to think he’d be rescued. A letter sent to the mansion, saying that Alex had been killed in action, along with his dogs tags had made sure of that. Not that Charles would have looked for him, Alex thought, bitterness searing through him. He’d never forgiven Charles for not looking harder for Sean when he had disappeared.
The guards, techs, whoever they were, left as abruptly as they’d arrived slamming the door behind them as they dragged out whichever of the other mutants they’d chosen to torture this time. Alex tried to sleep again after they’d left, he really did, but he found that he just couldn’t manage it, he was just too keyed up. He hoped they’d come back soon with whatever they injected him with to keep his powers damped, that always knocked him out. A small part of Alex’s mind told him that if they didn’t come back in time and his powers came back he could escape, but Alex shut that down almost immediately. It was foolish to think of escape, especially in his state. Even if he could fire off a blast to get himself out of his cage, he could barely walk three paces without collapsing. He’d be down before he even got out of the cell block. No, it was best that he didn’t think about trying to escape.
“Psstht.”
Alex looked up, there was a scaled kid in the cage next to his, “You-you weren’t there before, were you.” His throat felt like sandpaper scraping when he spoke and he was sure it sounded like that too.
The kid shook his head, “Got nice sharp nails see? Cut through the wire. I could get you out.”
Alex shook his head, “You’re on your own. I’d slow you down. Been here too long, too weak to walk.”
The kid looked upset at that, but he didn’t say anything.
“Go back to your own cage kid,” Alex said, letting his eyes slide shut, “There’s gonna be trouble if you’re caught.”
There was the sound of shuffling feet and a small breeze, and Alex cracked an eye open. The kid was gone. How he’d moved so quickly and quietly Alex didn’t know. He briefly wondered how far down the line of cages the kid was, but he shook the thought from his head. He didn’t want to think about the other mutants more than he had to.
It wasn’t long after that the techs came back with syringes full of chemicals that would keep their mutations down. It really only worked for some of them, Alex couldn’t imagine it was particularly useful for the physical mutations, like that scaley kid who’d come to pester him. He supposed the tech’s would probably just tranq him. Especially if they realized what the kid could do to the cages.
Eventually the techs made it down to the end of the row of cages to where Alex was. He didn’t fight as they dragged him out of the corner he’d been curled up in. He’d long since learned that fighting was ineffective and would only make things worse. His arms and chest were covered in thick raised scars from where strips of skin had been removed as “punishment” for acting out. Alex vaguely recalled hearing Trask extrapolating on what exactly he wanted to do with the skin, but Alex had been too far lost in a haze of pain and drugs to remember the details.
Alex let the techs inject him with whatever it was they were giving him this time, crawling back into his corner when he was finally let go.
It didn’t take long before the lethargic feeling set in. It was like exhaustion seeping into his bones, he ached like he’d just been in a fight, like he’d overexerted himself when he’d barely moved around since the last time they’d come to give him an injection.
The injections were how Alex kept time. When he’d first arrived he’d tried keeping time by when meals were delivered, but injections came more frequently than meals did, and were easier to keep track of. He was always jarred awake when it came time for an injection, but he’d sometimes sleep through meals being delivered.
Speaking of sleep, that was the direction in which Alex was headed. The exhaustion and lethargy caused by the drugs were rapidly pulling him under, and Alex didn’t have the strength or will to resist it.
It was several hours before Alex woke up, and when he did he was too disoriented to move. He still felt exhausted, but it wasn’t quite as all encompassing as it had been. And he hadn’t had any nightmares that he could remember, which was strange, not unwelcome, but strange. Alex had become very accustomed to sleep meaning nightmares, either of being strapped to the lab table or of Vietnam. Though waking up from a sleep without nightmares seemed just as disorienting as when he did have nightmares.
Alex blinked a few times, trying to clear his head before he tried sitting up. Turned out sitting up made his head spin, so he lay back down, closing his eyes to avoid seeing everything spin in front of him.
“They’re prepping you.”
There was that voice again, and damn it if it didn’t sound familiar, Alex’s foggy mind couldn’t place it. He wondered what would happen if he tried talking to the voice, “Prepping me for what?”
“To die,” the voice said, in a way that was so nonchalant that Alex wanted to scream.
“I don’t mean to mock you,” the voice continued, “It’s just, I’ve seen them do this before. They drug you up until you can’t move anymore and then they take you away and you don’t come back.”
Alex opened his eyes slowly, and there was a figure sitting in the cage next to his. He squinted, the lights had been shut off making everything hard to see, but there was definitely a figure there.
“Were you there- before?” Alex asked.
“Yeah, I got taken out though,” the figure replied, “It that’s what you were wondering, why I disappeared.”
“Oh.”
It made sense, kind of, no... no not really. Alex must have been more out of it earlier than he’d thought.
Alex coughed, trying to clear his throat, “Did-did you see the kid? The one with the scales and the nails- he said…”
“No, I was only just brought back.”
“Oh.”
Alex sighed, maybe the kid was just a hallucination, it wouldn’t have been the first time. He tried to pull himself into a sitting position again, and he slipped, his head cracking against the concrete wall behind him.
“You okay?”
Alex huffed, “You must be new, if- if you think that’s a good question to ask.” His throat was aching from talking so much, but it had been so long since he’d really had a proper conversation with anyone, and well, it was nice.
The person, guy, Alex was pretty sure it was a guy, laughed. “No I’m not new. They just usually keep me in solitary.”
Alex frowned, “Why?”
The other mutant shrugged, "Fought too much. I almost escaped once. I made it out the door, but… well I’m still here so you know how it ended.”
“Why didn’t they kill you?”
“They weren’t done with me.”
“You think they’re done with you now?” Alex asked.
It was then that the lights switched back on, and Alex squeezed his eyes shut against the glare.
When he blinked his eyes open again, Alex was sure he had to be hallucinating. There was no way. It couldn’t-. Alex squeezed his eyes shut, holding them that way for a moment before opening them again.
“Sean?”
“So it is you. I’d hoped it wasn’t.”
Alex berated himself for not recognizing Sean’s voice, but then he supposed it had been years since he’d last heard Sean speak.
“I didn’t- we thought…”
“You thought I was dead? Is that you’re trying to say?” Sean huffed derisively, “Everyone dies here. There’s no alternative. It just takes longer for some.”
With his eyes more adjusted to the light Alex peered into the cage next to his where Sean was. He wanted to pull himself closer, but he didn’t have the strength. Sean looked awful. He was gaunt, emaciated, and his mouth and throat were a mess of scar tissue. It looked like the tissue had been cut open and healed over multiple times.
“How come you aren’t dead?”
“Trask picks favorites, mutants he likes to open up more than once,” Sean said, turning his head to look at Alex, and Alex could see that there was a white film over one of Sean’s eyes. He wondered if his eyes were starting to look like that too.
“Who did they make you kill?” Sean asked, after a few moments of Alex not saying anything.
Alex almost got angry at that, but then he realized that if Sean was asking, he’d probably been forced to do it too, “Some kid.”
“What was his name?”
“Sean I-”
“They all have names, someone should know them.”
“Ink, ‘least that’s the name I knew him as.”
“I killed Angel.”
Alex was silent.
“The worst part was that she begged me to do it.”
Alex tried to swallow, but his mouth was too dry and all it did was make it throat hurt worse than it already did. “You think we’re next?”
“I don’t know.”
Alex closed his eyes, his throat was on fire from talking for so long, and that bone deep exhausted feeling was coming back. He tried to say something back to Sean but all that came out was a hoarse croak. Maybe trying to sleep again would be the best thing to do.
Alex didn’t remember falling asleep, but when he opened his eyes again, Sean was gone and there was a tray of food just inside door to his cage. Alex tried to swallow again, but he was met with the same results as before. He crawled over to where the food was, there wasn’t much, actually, upon closer inspection it wasn’t really food at all. It was three pills and a paper cup of water. Alex sighed, this had happened once before, though that time they’d had to force the pills into him. They were to keep him sedated while Trask and the other scientist did… things. Alex didn’t know what. Sean had been right, they were prepping him, and Alex vaguely wondered if they’d end up killing him this time.
Part of him was screaming that he didn’t want to die, that he could still try to escape, but part of him honestly wanted the relief that death would bring, craved it even. Maybe that was why the pills had just been left, instead of the techs forcing him to take them. Maybe they wanted to see if he was willing to give up.
Alex would be lying to himself if he tried to say he didn’t want to give up. He’d given up a long time ago, when he realized that trying to fight the inevitable would only cause him more pain. Still the part of him that didn’t want to die, screamed that he should wait for Sean to come back, so Alex could talk to him again. The rational part of him however, told him that Sean wasn’t coming back. Sean had been here far longer than Alex, and it was already a miracle that he’d lasted as long as he had. Alex was just so pathetically grateful that he’d gotten the chance to talk to Sean again, even if the conversation had been nothing but morbid.
With that thought, a thought that left Alex feeling more at peace than he thought it would, Alex took the pills, laying down on the ground next to the tray. He didn’t want to be sitting up when they kicked in.
The drugs never really knocked you out, no Trask was too sadistic for that. The drugs only immobilized you, made your brain foggy too, but your pain receptors and nerves worked just fine. Every scalpel slice, every injection, Alex felt. He could see the scientists working over him, he could feel them digging around in his insides, and he could feel the blood welling in his throat, choking him. He’d known he was dead the moment the swallowed the pills, but this, the choking and the agony and the feeling of people hands inside of him…
And suddenly, Sean was there and Sean was smiling (Why was he smiling?) and Alex- Alex didn’t hurt anymore, it was like everything had stopped. He didn’t hurt, he didn’t feel- he didn’t feel anything really. Then he was on his feet and for the first time in longer than he cared to remember he felt steady, but then he looked down and his legs felt like they were ready to give out again. He saw himself, splayed out on a lab table, cut open like he was some high school biology experiment. He gaped in horror at the display in front of him for several moments before turning to Sean, “Am I dead?”
Sean nodded, smiling sadly.
“And you’re- you’re dead too, aren’t you.”
Sean gave another nod, “I’ve been dead for years Alex. Trask may pick favorites to keep around longer than most, but a body can only last so long before it gives out.”
“Then why-?” Alex frowned.
“Why am I still here?” Sean said finishing the question for Alex, “I’m stuck. I can’t go anywhere, most of the ghosts here are. We’re trapped here just like we were when we were alive.”
Something that might have been panic welled in Alex’s chest, “Does this mean I can’t leave either?”
Sean shrugged, “I don’t know, you can try. Others have been able to. But others, like me, and that lizard kid, are stuck here.”
“So he wasn’t real.”
“No he was, but he was a ghost, like me, and you now. He used to be in the cell next to yours.”
Alex was silent his eyes flicking between Sean and his own body splayed out on the lab table.
“What’s going to happen to my body?” he asked.
“They’ll incinerate it.”
Alex swallowed, and it took him a moment to realize why it felt so odd. It hadn’t hurt. His mouth and throat didn’t feel like sandpaper anymore.
“You should try to leave, if you can,” Sean said, “I mean if you left and moved on to… whatever, you might have a shot at finding Darwin.”
That made Alex pause, “You… you think I could?”
Sean shrugged, “I don’t see why you couldn’t, I mean I’d say that’s a good reason to leave, and if you put your mind to it you might be able to.”
“But what about you? You’d still be stuck here,” As much as the idea of finding Darwin thrilled Alex, he was hesitant to leave Sean alone.
Sean shrugged again, “I’m hardly the only ghost trapped here. So it’s not like I’m alone. Besides you deserve to be able to find Darwin, so at the very least he can tell you that it wasn’t your fault.”
Alex glared at Sean, “We are not having this argument.”
“It’s because there’s no argument to have,” Sean said, “But that’s not the point. Shoo, go to the light or some shit, I don’t know. Be gone spirit.”
Alex laughed, “Alright. Take care of yourself.”
“Alex we are dead. It’s not like anything worse can happen.”
“I guess you have a point there,” Alex said, trailing off with a sigh, “If this does work, I-I’ll miss you.”
Sean smiled a little sadly, “Yeah I’ll miss you too, but you deserve this chance. So take it, and don’t worry about me.”
Alex nodded. He took a deep, though unnecessary, breath, “So how do I do this?”
“Just think about what you want, what you need your afterlife to be,” Sean said, “It’s kind of hard to explain, but you’ll feel it.”
Alex took another breath, closing his eyes, trying to feel or whatever, that Sean had tried to explain.
“It’s working,” Sean said softly, and Alex opened his eyes. Sure enough, his body was becoming fainter and less clear, see through in places even.
“Tell Darwin hi for me.”
Alex nodded, he was about to say something else, but then everything shifted and Sean was gone and Alex was… nowhere he recognized. He took yet another deep breath, to steady himself more than anything. Now to find Darwin.
Miles away from the lab, at the now rundown Xavier Institute, Armando Muñoz raised his fist to knock on the door.
Chapter Text
The place looked awful, it did not look like what Darwin had pictured when Moira had told him ‘Xavier Mansion’. It was decrepit and run down. The grounds were overgrown and the gate was starting to hang off it’s hinges. Still Darwin walked up the front door, hesitating only a moment before knocking.
Hank opened the door and Darwin grinned, from the state of things he’d worried that no one would answer.
“Sorry it took me so long to get here.”
Hank stared for a moment, and Darwin could practically see the gears turning behind Hank’s eyes as he tried to process what he was seeing,
“You’re alive.”
“Looks that way.”
Hank let out a choked sob, and when he stepped aside to let Darwin into the house, Darwin could see that he was shaking.
Darwin frowned, looking up at Hank with concern written on his face, but Hank wouldn’t meet his eyes.
“Hank?”
“There’s a- We can talk in the study just-” Hank squeezed his eyes shut. It was obvious he was trying very hard not to burst into tears. What the hell had happened?
“Lead the way, I guess.”
Hank took a deep breath, nodding. He lead Darwin up the stairs and to a small study where Hank had set up some of his books. “I- I’ll be right back, I have to- I have to get-” He couldn’t finish the sentence and he hurried away before Darwin could ask.
Darwin sank down into one of the chairs. There was something very wrong here. Where was everyone? The house seemed far too quiet. Where was Charles? Where were Sean and Alex and Raven? Moira would have told him if they’d died, but she’d seemed to be under the impression that they were all fine.
Darwin looked up went Hank returned, he was holding an envelope and… dog tags. He felt his heart clench, and he knew, even before he took the letter from Hank’s shaking hand, what it would say. Private Alex Summers, killed in action in Vietnam. He swallowed thickly, tears pricking his eyes as he scanned the words he already knew. Alex was dead. He’d just made it back and Alex was dead.
Darwin squeezed his eyes shut, Alex’s dog tags clenched in his fist. He could feel the edges of the metal digging into his hand just before the skin there started thickening so it wouldn’t hurt.
“What about the others? They dead too?” Darwin asked, bitterness creeping into his voice.
Hank nodded slowly, “Most of them. Erik’s in prison. Sean and Angel were captured, and Raven, she’s just disappeared. Charles thinks she’s dead too. He’s hardly left his study since the letter came.”
Darwin swallowed, staring at the dog tags in his hand. He didn’t know what to do, he’d thought he’d be coming back to something, anything, but there was nothing. Just an old house that was falling apart and Alex’s dog tags. Alex’s dog tags. Darwin ran his thumb over the etched text before slipping the chain around his neck.
“Are you going to stay?” Hank asked quietly, and the hesitant hope in his voice hurt.
“For awhile yeah,” Darwin replied, “Til I can figure out what to do next.”
Hank nodded, “I wouldn’t ask you to stay forever.”
“I know.”
Murf1307 on Chapter 1 Wed 15 Jul 2015 05:51AM UTC
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mothicalcreatures on Chapter 1 Wed 15 Jul 2015 05:54AM UTC
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MaddyBaby on Chapter 1 Thu 23 Jun 2016 05:21PM UTC
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mothicalcreatures on Chapter 1 Sun 26 Jun 2016 04:01AM UTC
Last Edited Sun 26 Jun 2016 04:01AM UTC
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MaddyBaby on Chapter 1 Mon 27 Jun 2016 06:45AM UTC
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N1ghtshade on Chapter 1 Sun 24 Jun 2018 10:38PM UTC
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ugh_whyyy on Chapter 1 Sun 23 Oct 2022 08:44PM UTC
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mothicalcreatures on Chapter 1 Tue 01 Nov 2022 03:10PM UTC
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Murf1307 on Chapter 2 Wed 15 Jul 2015 07:13AM UTC
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Enterprising on Chapter 2 Thu 27 Aug 2015 09:38PM UTC
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Lady_Egotuus on Chapter 2 Mon 21 Sep 2015 05:22AM UTC
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OracleNorn on Chapter 2 Tue 17 Nov 2015 12:34PM UTC
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noodle human (Guest) on Chapter 2 Tue 09 May 2017 03:21PM UTC
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