Your name is John Egbert and right now, you absolutely hate being blind. It's not so usually bad, you've been this way for a very long time so it's not like you're not used to it already.
It's just nights like these that make you feel the most insecure about your disability. The pitter patter of rain is hard against the roof, and you hear thunder in the distance. Though you're not aware of it, a flash of lightning momentarily illuminates the room, revealing you on the corner of the bed snugly positioned in the intersection of two walls with a blanket draped over your timid form; knees pulled up to fetal position against your heaving chest.
You don't like storms.
They're dark (well, what's new?), wet, windy, and just bluh! Usually Dave would be right beside you, cradling you in his lap and tracing calming words into your palm, but he has to work late tonight.
You let out a whimper and bury your head in your arms as the thunder rolls again. You stay in this position for a long time, until your arms are aching from holding your knees so tightly.
You're about to stretch your legs out, when a loud bang from down the hall catches your attention.
You reach for your cane and head towards the direction of the disturbance, brandishing it like a sword. "Who's there?" you half shout, edging your way through the living room. A cold gust of air from the outside triggers another loud bang and makes you jump. You sigh in relief; 'It's just the wind'.
Bringing your cane down to hold properly, you quickly step over and close the door securely, locking it tightly for good measure. Your watch beeps nine times to tell you the time, and you sigh. Dave was probably going to take at least a few more hours. Yawning, you take a seat on the single worn couch and sit up; you return to your previous position curled up as a ball and grope around for the blanket you and Dave kept there. Once you find it, you pull it over yourself and lean back against the couch arm. You fall asleep not soon after.
You jerk half awake a few hours later when you feel yourself being carried. Your arms fly out but soon hit firm chest clad in a soft sweatshirt. You realize that it's just Dave when that smell of smoke and alcohol that always manages to stick to his clothing after a long night of DJ'ing hits you.
Dave pauses mid-step and you immediately relax, going back to your previous position. He lays you on the bed and puts the blanket over you, pulling your hand out momentarily to write a phrase on it.
fucking hell i smell like shit
im taking a shower so brb okay
You smile sleepily and nod, "Come back soon.." you murmur, curling into the covers.
True to his word, Dave does come back soon dressed in a pair of pajama pants, smelling like strawberry shampoo and cocoa butter body wash ('gotta keep this strider skin all fresh and smooth for any egberts that might come around'). He leans you to the side and lays down; you immediately settle yourself in your usual position, half laying on his chest with your legs tangled together.
Your hand is resting above his pulse, beating almost in time with the rain. You feel yourself calm down considerably, only to twitch violently when a loud clap of thunder sounds a little too close for comfort. Dave's arm immediately tightens around your waist and the other come to grip the hand on his chest. You hear a shooshing noise, and his hand opens yours, placing it palm side up.
hey its okay ive got you
You ease up a bit, but snuggle closer. "Sorry," you whisper.
"Well I'm keeping you awake right now. You're here all tired from work and I'm forcing you to stay awake and comfort me because I'm a lame ass scaredy face that's afraid of storms."
You hear a breathy chuckle before he starts writing again.
im not gonna say thats a lie im p tired but youre not forcing me to do anything
You grab his hand mid-letter when another roll of thunder goes by, even closer than before. Dave pulls his fingers out from your grip and brings them to comb through your hair. He places a kiss to the crown of your head and tightens his hold on your waist until you stop shaking.
id rather stay awake and cuddle because i for one like your scaredy face
You smile weakly into his skin, "I bet you I'm not that cute..."
i beg to differ
"Really?" you ask, the fear of the storm ebbing away little by little. "I don't even know what I look like.. The last time I asked was years ago. God knows how much I've changed since then."
want me to tell you
You nod, genuinely curious, but a little nervous. What if you're actually really ugly?
no youre not ugly
You twitch, "What makes you think I was thought I was going to be ugly?"
i just do okay youre like that sometimes
Rolling your eyes, you poke his cheek, "Just keep going."
your hair is rainbow and you have a huge red bubble nose
and you have a monocle and mustache tattooed on your face
Rolling your eyes, you push at his shoulder, "Haha, very mature make fun of the blind guy. What do I really look like?"
fine you got me
first off i gotta say youre wearing my sweatshirt right now and its really cute
You blush just the slightest bit, "You were at work and it's warm..."
hey who said i was complaining
Grinning, you place a kiss to his bare chest, "No one, babe."
anyway youre a little pale and your hair is the exact opposite
He brushes the hand around your waist through your hair, mussing it up a bit.
its usually really fucking messy like all the time bro
the glasses i gave you kinda make you look like a nerd but youre not wearing them right now so..
and your front teeth stick out a bit
The hand in your hair pulls back a bit, and you follow it; soon a pair of lips gently meet yours, quirked up a bit. Dave's tongue darts out to glide over your teeth, and you let out a soft moan.
you look like a fucking rabbit when you eat
You pull back and frown- a rabbit? "That doesn't sound very attractive..."
wrong its the most attractive thing on earth
i bet you a billion fucking boondollars
You chuckle, "Fine, rabbits do sound cute..."
You feel Dave nod against the top of your head, nuzzling your apparently messy black hair.
i like your eyes the most though theyre light blue
i really cant imagine you with any other eye color its just too fucking perfect
but im pretty sure if they worked then theyd be a little darker idk really
You can't help but smile a bit, bringing a hand up to Dave's cheek, you trace lightly down his jaw and down to his lips, "What do you look like, Dave?"
well for one thing im a few inches taller than you thats for sure
all awkward and gangly as shit- god im lucky youre actually blind.
You snort, "Just keep going asshole."
im really fucking pale and i have these weird freckles on my cheeks and shoulders
theyre annoying as fuck
"Now that sounds cute," you murmur against his side.
my hairs really light- like fucking white blonde
the cullens have got nothing on me
Rolling your eyes, you giggle-snort, "What, do your eyes change color too when you get hungry?"
"Okay, I thought you fell asleep there for a sec."
You pause for a minute, frowning. "You didn't tell me what color your eyes are."
Without missing a beat, Dave goes back to signing your hand with a little more force than necessary.
The frown deepens and your eyebrows furrow, "Dave I know you're lying."
who says im lying
theyre red okay
"Red? What's so bad about that?"
Dave actually scoffs at you before he continues.
well you cant tell but red isnt exactly a regular eye color
thats why im lucky youre blind dude
dont have to deal with anyone shouting 'hey look its the antichrist everyone duck for fucking cov
You let out a sound of indignation and pull your hand away, reaching to pry his arm from around your waist. Once free, you roll away towards the other side of the bed until you're not facing him anymore. "Shut up."
wtf man you asked for it
He signs against your back.
You flip around and narrow your eyes in what you hope is the right direction. "No, I asked for your eye color- not for you to start bitching. What the actual fuck Dave? You seriously think that I would judge you for your eye color and for probably being an albino? And yeah- being blind is definitely a big huge fucking plus in this relationship." You pause for a shuddering breath, "You have no fucking idea how much I wish I could see you."
Squeezing your eyes shut, you continue in a lower tone- almost seething with anger and self-hatred. "I've heard people talk about how hot you are, how they'd just fucking love to bang that hot piece of Strider ass. You know those times I went with Rose and Jade to pick you up? Your fucking groupies actually came up to me and told me how lucky I was to even be with you- and the fact that I can't even fucking see you? Drove them insane.
"I really tried to keep it from getting to me but when I'm all vulnerable as shit at times like these I can't help but think that wow- maybe they were right. I'm blind- I can't see you and I can't see any-fucking-thing else!" You're sitting up now, and you're almost shouting. You glare in his general direction, but you're not so sure because you're making sure that you don't touch him. "I'm useless. Then you go and tell me that it's a good thing that I'm blind? Thanks bro."
whoa whoa whoa john man calm down
He writes on your arm- or at least that was the gist of what he wrote, you weren't paying enough attention to actually decode the letters. "No I will not calm down!" You rub roughly at your moist eyes, trying hard to keep your composure. "Dave- you work! In both senses of the word. I can't even leave the fucking apartment without someone here to help me..." Something that sounds somewhere between a choked sob and a whine escapes your throat. You can hear the bedsprings creak when Dave shifts somewhere in front of you, as you sniff pathetically. "I just want to look you in the eyes and tell you I love you when you say it to me.."
He makes no moves for a long time, but when a calloused hand gently pulls on yours, you let it.
when did i ever say i loved you
Your heart skips a beat, "What?"
i always tell you i love you sure
but ive never said it because to say something you need a voice
i dont have a voice
Your eyes widen, and suddenly you're being pulled into a tight hug. You sob onto Dave's shoulder, nuzzling into his hot skin. Your cries are loud and almost childlike, but over it all you can hear him perfectly as he slides a hand under the jacket to write.
i know its hard for you
i know you learned to read even though you're blind just for me because im an asshole that cant talk
i love you
i just wish i could tell you that myself
Dave's tears soak through his sweatshirt, making your shoulder damp.
"I-I wish it wasn't like this-" you choke out between hiccoughs. "W-Why can't we j-just be norma-al? Wha-What did we do to deserve thi-this?"
but i know that i dont give a shit if youre blind or if you were deaf or if you were half fish
i love you
its a lot to ask because youve done alot
p much learning a new language for me
but if you could love me back like this it would be great
The tears continue their journey down your cheeks as you pull away, running your thumb across Dave's cheek to wipe his tears away as best as you can- before leaning in and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. "You know I'll never ever stop loving you," you whisper against his mouth.
'I love you,' he mouths in return.
You grin widely and pull the sleeves of his sweatshirt up, rubbing at your eyes. You assume he smiles back as he kiss your forehead and pulls you back down to lay on the bed.
"S-Sorry, I kinda got carried away there."
He leans down to press kisses to your still moist eyelids, nuzzling your forehead and pulling you closer.
nah i was being insensitive
sorry bro it wasnt cool saying it was good that youre blind and shit
i kinda wish you could see sometimes too
so you could actually see just how fucking adorable you are
You smile, "I still don't think that I sound that attractive."
then youre still thinking wrong"
Yeah... God I wish I could see though."
youre not missing out on much dude seeing is overrated
thats why i wear shades
You roll your eyes, "At least you're not wearing those pointy anime shades. Your bro is probably the only person on the planet that can actually make those work."
He chuckles and nods against you in silent agreement.
You two lay quietly, the silence only broken by your almost steady breathing.
hey do you hear that
the rain stopped