(01) Wild West
Having dispatched with the bandits, delivered a load of sugar and salt and more vegetables than anyone in town had ever seen, and healed Ma Cottle's fever, the two swatted their horses and rode away at a gallop before anyone could try to push some coin on them as thanks.
On the top of a sandstone ridge, the town below appearing as small and inconsequential as any of the scrub nearer to their mounts' hooves, the Man With No Name pulled up and turned around.
"One day, I shall come back," he said, with a thoughtful distance in his voice. "Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no--"
"Dammit, Doc," said the Man Who Had A Name But Odds Were Good It Wasn't Really His, "do you have to do that with every town we leave?"
The neofascist Network Administrators had locked the prisoners in a cell blocked off from all neuronet access, with no exposed wiring and absolutely no keypads. Oh, and they had taken the sonic screwdriver.
Jack paced the length of the cell. The Doctor sat on the bed and played his recorder.
After three measures, the entrance hatch whirred and the mechanical panels slid open.
"Imitation of the encoded harmonic frequencies!" exclaimed Jack, bounding to the exit. "That was brilliant, Doctor!"
"What?" said the Doctor. "Oh, yes! I meant to do that."
The curly-furred chocolate-colored puppy trotted across the workshop, tail held high. At the bench, the Doctor tinkered with his latest gadget. The puppy sat back on its haunches and gave an engaging yip.
"In a minute," said the Doctor. "Hand me the 2B micro-wrench, there's a good fellow."
The puppy whined.
"What?" The Doctor looked up. "Oh, I see, you're being a puppy today. Yes, very cute. You know the TARDIS translates dog, right? Well, run along, if you're not going to help. This neutron flow won't reverse its own polarity, you know."
Captain Jack Harkness used to be the most feared salty buccaneer on the seven seas.
Ever since he took up with the Doctor, he's been a lot less terrifying. Hasn't been relieving people of much property lately. (Except their vessel, and from the way the good ship TARDIS handles, you'd think it wanted to be stolen.) In fact, when he adds up the numbers, over the past six months they've given more than they've taken...granted, it's mostly in jelly babies, but still.
Jack finds he's kind of starting to like it.
(05) Most Boring Earth Setting
Jack tore off his hairnet, massaged his throbbing temples, and dragged the Doctor into the break room.
"We had another customer storm out vowing never to try any place other than Starbucks again! Why can't you just make their orders the way they ask, huh? Why do you have to keep trying to 'surprise' them with your 'secret ingredient'?"
The Doctor looked at him with a wide-eyed lost-puppy expression. "How can these people not like celery?"
(06) Born Another Gender
"You mean," said Jack, trying his very hardest not to drool, "you had female sexual organs in all your previous regenerations?" Unspoken went: and you never told me?
"Oh, don't be such an idiot," snapped the Doctor. "I said I was female. Kept trying to get a body to match; thought that was the way to do it. Didn't expect to regenerate with the same bits and my head screwed on differently, but it works just as well, I suppose. Do wipe your mouth, it's very undignified. Before you ask, no, you may not see them, and if I find you sneaking around while I'm in the shower I'll have the TARDIS chuck you out an airlock."
"He likes you," said Jack firmly.
"What, the Professor? Don't be an idiot," said Ace, chucking a tightly wrapped plastic bag in her locker. (The guy had a name, of course, but Ace had dubbed him The Professor for being constantly top of the class, and it stuck.)
"Bet he is," said her classmate. "What kind of chemistry teacher sneaks that kind of...perfectly safe substance...into the hands of a random student?"
Ace snorted. "What kind of person with half a brain would try to impress a girl by giving her...legal and entirely non-explosive substances...instead of, oh, flowers?"
"Depends." Jack grinned, flashing white teeth. "What kind of girl would be impressed by them?"
Time to meet this new guy Chief Trelundor's assigning. Jack hoped he would be competent. And at least moderately intelligent. And able to fall in line with Jack's particular brand of Good Cop, Sexy Cop...
"You're Harkness? Good to meet you. I'm the Doctor."
...and that he would let Jack run his hands through those pretty auburn curls. Just once. Yowza.
(09) Urban Fantasy
High-end club The Wolf & The Rose turns out to be a meeting place for the Unseelie Mafia. Jack didn't know, honest. He was just looking for a drink.
The golden-eyed Donna Rosita takes a fancy to him, and offers him a pint of her best.
"And you took it?" demands the Doctor after he's gotten Jack safely to the underground station. "Stupid ape! There's no knowin' what that potion will do to you!"
"I'll ask when I go back," says Jack. The Doctor stares. "What? I didn't get her number."
The Doctor is surprisingly cool about the outfit. Bangles and all.
"I don't mind because the company makes up for it," points out Jack. "But you seem like you're actually enjoying this. And you haven't even gotten any of the sex yet!"
The Doctor shrugs. "It's all relative. Some of the best times of my life involved wearing celery."