Chapter 1- After Affects
My birthday party was terrifying to say the least. I watched as Jasper lunged for me. It never occurred to me how weak he was at controlling his blood lust. I was practically chewing my lip off, that's when I tasted it- Jasper smelled it. He was like a wild animal; the look in his eyes scared the hell right out of me. The next thing I knew Emmett was throwing me across the room. I collided with the glass table setting against the wall. Why was everything coming undone? I know that there is always a risk when hanging out with a bunch of vampires, yet it always happens with me in the room.
I closed my eyes, hoping it was all a nightmare. I kept them closed for a few seconds, I wanted this to be a bad nightmare, I didn't want any of this to be real. I opened my eyes and noticed seven pairs of smouldering eyes staring at me. That's when reality came and bit me right in the ass. This was far from a nightmare: it was my own worst reality. I stopped thinking about the situation and felt something. I felt something wet, sticky, and warm slowly trickle down my arm. I immediately put my hand in the warmness and brought my hand to my face. Oh my god, I was bleeding, a lot. I looked over at Edward, his eyes were black and filled with fear. Carlisle was next to me when I looked away from Edward since he was the one that was able to be around human blood and a doctor.
" I think we need to get you up to my office. You're bleeding everywhere Bella. Don't worry about cleaning up the glass, I will take care of that when you go home and everybody else gets back." Carlisle quickly scooped me up into his arms and took the short journey upstairs.
We reached his office in record time; he opened the door, sitting me on his desk after flipping the light switch on. I watched as he grabbed his black medical bag from the top shelf of the book case. He also grabbed a glass bowl that was sitting on the window sill. Carlisle opened his medical bag and pulled out a bottle of rubbing alcohol. He gracefully poured it into the glass bowl. I noticed he pulled out a smaller little black leather pouch from the bag. I watched as he unzipped the pouch and what I saw next made me shiver with fear: a little, tiny needle, a syringe, and a small glass vial filled with clear liquid. I saw that he grabbed the sutures, and threaded the needle. I was afraid this would happen. I hated getting stitches, they really did suck and it's not like this was my first time. You are talking to Isabella Swan, the most accident prone teenager on the planet!
Carlisle then grabbed the syringe and the vial and sat on the desk next to me. I watched as he filled the syringe, my stomach turning every second I watched. I was already nauseous from the smell of my blood, now it was worse because I seen the needle and thread.
"Bella, this will numb your arm, you will feel a slight pinch, and then the medicine will take affect. If you feel like you are going to throw up, please don't be afraid to tell me, I can give you a pill for it." Carlisle is truly a beautiful creature.
"Carlisle, I am so sorry for what happened down there, I never wanted this to happen. Is Jasper going to be ok? I don't want anything to hurt him or any of you for that matter." I was beside myself with worry.
"Bella it's not your fault! Things happen for reasons nobody will ever understand. Jasper will be fine. He is a lot stronger than you think, besides it's Edward that I am more concerned about. He thinks that your relationship is putting you in more danger. I think he's full of crap and he's using that as a excuse or his scapegoat. You're the best thing that has ever happened to him. He's over thinking the situation too much, like he always does!" Carlisle had a little smirk on his face, this made me smile slightly. He always knew how to make the situation a little amusing. I was so drawn into our conversation that I hadn't taken notice that he had started stitching my arm.
"I wish he would just change me already! If he really feels that us being together is putting me in danger, then why shouldn't he just do us all a favor and change me. He wouldn't feel the need to constantly protect me. I love him with every ounce of my heart and my soul." I wiped away the tears that were streaming down my cheeks. I looked Carlisle right in the eyes, waiting for some type of response. I noticed the white gauze around my arm. I will say one thing, Carlisle was fast. As he was cleaning up, I finally got the response I was looking for.
"You have to understand Bella, he is not the average vampire. He has morals. He believes in the traditional ways. He does love you Bella, never question his love or choices. He doesn't want you to be damned to this life. Yet on the other hand, I fully understand where you're coming from too. You don't want to grow old and he doesn't age at all. He doesn'tunderstand that. I am about to say the hell with it and change you myself. He has already chosen not to live without you by his side." I quickly jumped to my feet, crashing into Carlisle's chest. In that moment I forgot about my arm, Jasper, Edward, and everything else. I wanted what he said to be true. I wanted nothing more than forever with Edward and our family.
"I am so sorry Carlisle! I just got overly excited. Please tell me that you meant what you said?" I was ecstatic.
"You need to keep your voice down! Yes, I meant what I said. I have to talk to Esme of course. I already know what she will say. We both love you as one of our own children. I will speak with her when you leave, when we hunt is when I will say something to her. Plus I don't want Edward eavesdropping which he already did." He said softly, but I was kind of glad that Edward heard everything. "You can come in son, I know you have been patiently waiting!" I didn't even hear a knock on the door or even a sound.
Then out of nowhere the door swung open. Edward was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. The look on his face said it all. He looked like he just lost his best friend. I knew something was wrong, he wasn't acting like the Edward I knew. I caught a glimpse of Carlisle out of the corner of my eye, and he knew something was up too. The tension was thick, I couldn't even speak. I didn't know what to say or what to do.
"Well Bella, I think it's time for Edward to take you home. When you get home take some Alieve for your arm and I will call you with cleaning instructions." He was back in doctor mode once again. I didn't blame him though, if Edward even hinted about what we talked about, I'd probably never be allowed around Carlisle again.
"Thanks Carlisle, for everything. I am sorry for what happened! Please give Jasper and everybody else my apologies." I knew what he meant by calling me. I made my way out of his office, walking towards the stair case. I could smell the bleach as soon as I walked out of the office. It was strong and made my eyes burn.
I began to walk down the steps, but I must not have watched my footing because I tripped as usual. I felt myself falling forward, then I crashed right into somebody's arms, Edward was standing in front of me. I was going to have a bruise on my shoulders where his hands grabbed me.
"Thanks." I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say anything because I did not want to make things worse. The look on his face was disturbing: he was so scary when he got angry. I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye, Alice was walking by the stair case, I heard her voice and I let go of Edwards arm and quickly followed. I walked through the dining room and walked into the kitchen.
I saw Esme first, she was lightly hugging Alice and Rosalie was rubbing Alice's shoulders. What have I done? Have I completely torn the entire Cullen family apart? Was Jasper really ok? I had so many thoughts going through my head, I hadn't noticed that Rosalie had come over to me and started rubbing my back. I looked up into her eyes and what I saw shocked me to my core. She had sympathy. After everything that has happened since Edward and I met, Rosalie, the one I thought hated me was showing me compassion.
"Bella, none of this is your fault. Jasper is still trying to get used to controlling his thirst, he still has a lot to learn. Please don't think I am just saying this to you because of Edward. I am truly being sincere. I hope you are ok, Jasper feels terrible: he never intentionally meant to hurt you." As she spoke she still rubbed my back. I felt somewhat safe, it felt so good to be reassured, yet I still knew it was my fault. I knew she meant what she was telling me. I could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice, and feel it in her touch.
"I know Jasper never meant to hurt me. I am truly fine, but I am worried about Jasper. I need to know if he is really ok!" I was scared. Alice was walking over to me, she looked shocked, almost terrified. I started feeling the tears well up in my eyes, it burned. I had cried so much tonight, it hurt. The bleach wasn't making it any better. I tried to wipe away the tears but Alice beat me to it. I gave her a hug and didn't want to let go.
"Alice, I am deeply sorry for what happened tonight. I never meant for any of this to happen! Please let Jasper know that I am truly and very deeply sorry. Tell him to not be angry with himself. I'm not." I was practically sobbing and stuttering. I hugged her even harder. Alice was my best friend. I was praying that this wouldn't affect our friendship. If it did, I would never be able to face the family again.
"Bella! It's alright. It's not anybody's fault. Things happen, it's not going to hurt our friendship! I love you Bella, you could never break the bond we share. Now, stop worrying about it! Besides, you really need to get home before Charlie sends out a search party. I will see you tomorrow at school." Alice let me go, I still felt horrible.
None of this would have happened if I was no longer a human. I started walking towards the front door. I saw Edward sitting on the bench. He was holding my green sweater. I knew that he was upset or maybe even little pissed off. He stood up and helped me put my sweater on. He opened the front door, motioning for me to go out. I knew the rest of the night was going to be like this. He would sit there and be silent, acting like a kid that didn't get what he wanted for Christmas. I walked out the door, passed him without speaking and began to descend down the pathway to his car. I opened the passenger side door, setting my bag of gifts on the floor, sat down on the seat and shut the door not waiting to see if he would shut it for me. I was dreading the ride home. I wanted to talk to him so badly but I was afraid.
Edward finally got into the driver's seat, but he never said anything to me. As we were going down the driveway finally decided to open my mouth. Not caring if I said anything that would make him angry, he needed to know hear how I felt.
"Edward I am so sorry about tonight but this would not have happened if I wasn't human. I would be able to protect myself. I am not a child. I am an adult, so please treat me like one."I kinda came off impatient or irritated, which by the way he was acting, I was.
"I refuse to speak to you about this any anymore. If you want to be treated like an adult, then maybe you should start acting like one!" He was angry. Did he even care that he hurt my feelings? What the hell did he mean by that crap? How dare he talk to me like that? How was I not acting like an adult? I thought I carried myself through this pretty freaking well.
"I can't believe you would say something like that to me? You really hurt my feelings!" I started crying again. I never deserved to be treated like this! I wiped away my tears. I couldn't even look at him, let alone say another damned word to him. I was mad, no scratch that, I was pissed. How dare he say that to me! He really should take a look in the mirror! He is a very selfish creature! He refused to change me because I would be his equal. He talked about me being an adult? He better think about why he won't change me.
The rest of the drive home was terrible. The silence was so, dreadful: it made me feel even worse than I already did. I really just wanted to get away from him. I love Edward but right now I had absolutely no respect for him. We finally reached my street, I wasn't even paying attention. I just kept thinking about the events that unfolded tonight, I was really hoping to have a good night and be happy, but that never happens to me. I still felt like everything was my fault. How could it possibly not be? I was the dumb human. I was the one that had a stupid habit of chewing on my lip when I get nervous. Everything was my fault! I looked up after I lost my train of thought and we were parked outside my house.
I unbuckled my seat belt and I reached for the handle. I wanted out of his car, my bed was calling me. I wanted to be able to receive the call of my life, I didn't want to miss it either. I opened up the door and got out. I quickly grabbed my bags of gifts and shut the door. I waited beside the passenger door for a few seconds to see if he was going to at least walk me to the door, but he sat in the car. I turned around and started walking towards my front door. I walked up the walkway, listening carefully to see if I could hear him get out of the car, I didn't hear a peep. I got to my door and I decided to turn around once more. He was still sitting in the damn car. What a dick! He didn't even offer to help me, walk me to the door, absolutely nothing. I was a little more than mad, I was pretty pissed off at this point. I opened the door, walked in and slammed the door behind me using my foot.
Charlie was right there, hands waiting to help me unload all my gifts. I looked up at him, the tears welling up in my eyes again. Charlie wasn't a smart man, he was not dumb either. He knew something was wrong.
"Bella are you alright? What's the matter? Did he hurt you? What did he say to you?" Charlie was a good dad, and he cared about me so much.
"Nothing that doesn't usually happen. Me being the klutz that I am, tripped over air and fell into Esme's favorite table, smashing it to pieces. I got a nasty cut. Carlisle stitched me up though. Edward didn't do anything: he was just upset that I hurt myself again." I tried to end the conversation on that note, walking into the kitchen. I felt the need to have a glass of orange juice. I could hear Charlie following behind me, I knew what he wanted: he wanted to see my arm. He needed to evaluate the damage like always. I motioned for him to help me with my sweater and he took it gently, trying not to inflict any type of pain. I could feel the sweater moving down my arms. I could hear Charlie take a deep breath, waiting to see how bad my arm was.
"UGH!" Charlie gasped and my instincts told me to look, so I did. The entire bandage was full of blood. I told myself that Charlie was probably overreacting, that was until I saw the blood running down my arm. This wasn't good at all.
" I am calling Dr. Cullen, he needs to come and check it. You must have ripped your stitches!" Charlie quickly grabbed the phone and started dialing. I quickly grabbed my things, not wanting the juice anymore and made my way up the stairs. I had a little trouble walking since my arms were completely full. I got to my bedroom and fiddled around until I got the door open. I walked inside my room and reached for the light switch. When the lights finally came on, I almost screamed. Edward was standing at my window, I thought I was going to piss myself since he scared the hell out of me.
"What the hell is wrong with you Edward? Are you trying to scare me to death?!" I was a little more than pissed when I said this to him. First he treats me like crap and then he just shows the hell up? I walked over and dropped all my gifts down on my bed. He must have known that I was angry with him. He started walking over to me, then suddenly just stopped dead in his tracks. Something was really wrong with him. I knew it wasn't all from what happened tonight.
"Nothing is wrong Bella. No, I am not trying to kill you. You've done a good job trying to do that yourself." Edward was irritable. He never talked to me like this. I stood in front of him, done with him tonight. I couldn't take him acting like this to me. I don't think he realized how much it hurt to have him say such mean things to me like that.
"Edward I think you need to leave! I don't want to see you or talk to you tonight. What you just said really hurt my feelings and you're acting like a jackass right now!" I couldn't even look him in the eyes, I was so hurt.
"I am not leaving Bella! I never meant to hurt your feelings. I overreacted. I am terribly sorry. I love you. I thought I was going to lose you tonight. I wish you could see what was going through my head when Jasper lunged for you. Thank god that Emmett was there to push you out of the way. By the way, Emmett feels terrible for hurting you, as does Jasper. Please find it in your heart to forgive me Bella!" I knew he was being sincere, but something in me wasn't convinced. I needed time to think, I needed to be alone.
"I am sorry Edward but I really need you to leave. I need time to think. I am not trying to hurt you, but I'd rather not be around you right now. I will see you at school tomorrow. I love you Edward." I walked a few steps and gave him a kiss gently on his cheek.
"I love you too Bella. I know you need time, and I have time. I will see you tomorrow." I watched as Edward left through my bedroom window. I loved Edward, more than my own life. I just feel that I need to be alone. I didn't really want Edward here when Carlisle got here either. That would be weird.
After Edward left, I paced around my bedroom. I was thinking about all the crap that happened tonight. I didn't understand why Edward was being an ass to me. It was like I was the bad guy. If he would just change me. We wouldn't have to worry about protecting me from all this death and destruction. I have never got his reasoning for not changing me. If he truly loved me and wanted to be with me, then why not change me?
I kept pacing until I heard a faint knocking on my bedroom door. I stopped pacing and just stood there.
"Bella, it's Carlisle. May I come in please?" Carlisle was always so polite and kind to me.
"Oh, sorry Carlisle. Yeah, you can come in." I walked over to my bed and sat down, watching Carlisle walk through the door. I never really took notice of Carlisle's features before. He had soft facial features, a very warm smile,and his eyes were as kind as the words he spoke. His whole demeanor practically screamed 'Kind and gentle'.
"Charlie called to tell me that your bandage is soaked with blood. Are you in any type of pain or are you uncomfortable?" The moment his eyes met mine, I felt my heart swell up slowly like the Grinch on Christmas morning. I knew by the look in his eyes that he had in fact had his talk with Esme.
"No Carlisle, I am not feeling anything unusual. I never took notice of it until I showed my dad. He said something and I guess he thought it was bad enough to call you." I took my shoes off, never taking my eyes off of his face. I wanted to know everything that was said between him and Esme. I needed to hear him say the words to me. I needed to know what was going to happen to me.
I kept thinking about Esme, I heard Carlisle clear his throat and it brought me back to reality. I had to smile when I looked at Carlisle, he had this wonderfully big smile on his face. I could have sworn I heard him snicker.
"Let me take a look at your arm day dreamer!" He said while laughing. He gently touched my arm: his cold fingers made me shiver. He took off the blood soaked bandage, and I noticed that he had that silly smile back on his face again. I then felt something very cold, yet wet on my arm, it felt so relieving.
"Carlisle, would you mind if I changed my clothes really quick? I don't want to ruin my dress. Alice would kill me!" I giggled.
"Haha, no Bella I do not mind at all! Let me put some gauze on it. I have some in my pocket then I have to get some things from downstairs in my bag anyways. Take your time and just let me know when it's safe for me to come up again." Carlisle was a kind man an he quickly wrapped some gauze on it. When he was done, he took hold of my hand to help me off the bed. I grabbed my clothes, walking out of the door before Carlisle. I went over to the bathroom, shutting the door quickly behind me. I had millions of things swirling around in my head. Had Esme agreed with Carlisle that he should be the one to change me? Did she think that Edward should be the one to do it? I never thought that I, the most accident prone person on the face of the planet, would end up with the most graceful and glorious vampire in all of time! Edward was my everything.
I quickly changed my clothes after I finished my thinking, I walked over to the sink, grabbing my toothbrush and plopping an unnecessary amount of toothpaste on to it. I turned the cold water handle to on, and I began brushing. After about four minutes of brushing, I rinsed my toothbrush and quickly rinsed my mouth out. I cleaned up the sink and walked out to the hallway, whispering softly so that Carlisle was the only one to hear me. I walked back to my room and found Carlisle already sitting on the edge of my bed.
"Sorry to keep you waiting. I had to brush my teeth." I walked over to the bed, sitting next to him, waiting for the words to just ooze from his mouth.
"That's perfectly fine Bella. Now let's get this started. I need you to lie on your back and I will prop your arm up with a pillow." He was such an amazing doctor. I was a little confused though, what the hell happened to my arm?
"Carlisle, um, what happened to my arm? I don't think I heard you say anything about it?" I think I already knew by the amount of blood, but how? I didn't do anything that would cause them to rip out.
" Bella, please forgive me? I must not have been talking out loud. Your stitches ripped, I think that the string I used was too thin. I am going to have to cut the other stitches out and use a heavier string." He walked over to the desk where he had everything already setup. I laid down on the bed, resting my head on a soft pillow. Carlisle came over with a pillow in tow, moving swiftly and placing it under my arm.
"Same thing as earlier Bella. Try to relax and everything with be done shortly." He already had the clear liquid in the syringe, I barely felt it. I watched as he got the needle threaded. I closed me eyes, drifting into a deep sleep.
When I finally peeked through my lashes, I looked over on the night stand and the alarm clock said 4:35 am. I rolled over and flipped on my lamp. I uncovered myself and walked over to my desk, noticing a folded up piece of paper. I sat down, contemplating unfolding it. I sat there and took the paper and unfolded it. It was written in the most beautiful script I have ever seen.
Yes and Soon
I felt the hot tears rolling out of my eyes. Esme had said yes! I didn't know what the soon part meant though but I was finally going to be in his world. I would be his equal, for all of eternity. I was so much more than excited. I got up from my desk, walking out of my bedroom, heading over to the bathroom. I quickly brushed my teeth, and brushed my hair. That's when I noticed Charlie out of the corner of my eye, standing in the doorway. He had this strange look on his face, like he was shocked to see me so energetic.
"Good morning Bells, aren't you up a little bit early?" He smiled at me, and I just couldn't contain my joy any longer. I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He seemed shocked and hesitated for a second then I finally felt his arms wrap around my shoulders.
"I love you dad." In that very moment, I was happy, I was at peace.
"Love you too Bells." I could hear his heart beating faster. I let him go, walking towards the stairs. I could feel Charlie walking behind me. He knew something was up.
"Dad I am fine, don't even ask! I am going to make breakfast, come down when you are finished." I walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen. I started getting all of my ingredients out for south western omelettes, sausage, coffee, and toast. I went to reach for a frying pan from the cabinet and suddenly felt the most excruciating pain. My arm was practically on fucking fire. I dropped down to the floor, landing on my knees. It hurt so bad that I thought I was going to pass out. I felt dizzy so I put my head between my knees so that I wouldn't throw up. The only thing that I could concentrate on was the pain, suddenly out of nowhere I screamed my lungs out. The pain was horrifying. I saw Charlie running towards me, I couldn't really hear what he was saying. He sounded millions of miles away. He ran to the phone and started punching in numbers, he was calling Carlisle.
I sat on the floor, waiting, trying not to scream again. I worried that I had ripped my stitches again by reaching for that damned frying pan. I kept my eyes closed until I felt icy fingers on my neck. My eyes flew open,and Edward was kneeling down next to me. The expression on his face brought even more tears to my eyes. He looked scared out of his damned mind. I felt one of this hands move from my neck down behind my knees, the other went underneath my arms. He picked me up, carrying me up the stairs and to my room. He opened the door, being very cautious of not hurting me. He gently sat me down on my bed, his touch soothed me, I never wanted him to stop.
I noticed Carlisle right behind Edward. He seemed to have this calming look on his face, but it was a front. I knew deep down in his heart, that he was indeed, scared for me.
"Bella? Are you okay? Sweetheart, tell us what's going on?" I could hear the fear in his voice, Edward was frantic.
"My arm, my arm is fucking burning! Edward, please make it stop! Make it go away, it hurts so badly!" I kept my teeth clenched because I didn't want to scream again. I looked into his eyes and, that's when it registered. I had said almost the same exact thing when James bit me. The look on his face was heart wrenching. It was like he had seen a ghost, he pretty much had to relive the worst moment in both of our lives. Carlisle nudged Edward, wanting him to move out of his way so he could get to me. I could hear Charlie start talking.
"Can you give her something for the pain? I can't just stand here and watch this!" I looked down at Charlie's hands: they were shaking, a lot. I watched as Carlisle walked over to his bag, he pulled out another syringe and a little glass vial. This time the liquid was not clear but very cloudy.
"Yes Charlie, I am giving her a small dose of Morphine. It will take the pain away almost immediately. I need to check her stitches, but I would rather do it after she has had the shot." Carlisle was in front of me and he didn't even have to ask. I quickly nodded my head yes. I wanted the shot now. The pain was too overwhelming for me to handle.
"Thank you Bella. You know I have to ask permission before I just give you medicine. Don't worry, the pain will end very soon sweetheart." Carlisle smiled warmly at me, yet something was wrong: his eyes were trying to lie to me. He was hiding something from me.
I immediately felt the morphine kick in, and the pain finally subsided. I felt my entire body go completely numb. I could finally unclench my jaw. I felt like I was floating on air, like I was drunk or something.
"Thank you Carlisle. I am so sorry that we had to get you out of bed." I could barely understand the words that I was speaking. I had to lie though, I hated to, but this was what had to be done to protect my future family.
"You are very welcome Bella. There is no need for your apologies, I was already awake. Being a doctor kinda makes you become nocturnal." I could tell by his tone that something was definitely wrong here and I was going to find out, one way or the other. Carlisle began unwrapping the ace bandage. He took it and sat it on my bed next to me. He seemed kind of eager to see what was causing all the problems. He got a pair of tweezers from his bag and got underneath the tape, slowly starting a little grip for himself. He gently pulled on the tape at the top so he could easily peek down in and see what was going on with my stitches. He looked at the stitches and I thought his eyes were going to fall out of their sockets. I needed to divert the attention away from a stunned Carlisle, he did not need Charlie questioning him about this.
"Dad, how about giving Carlisle a little privacy. I'm sure having the Chief of Police breathing down his neck isn't an ideal working condition." I knew he would give in, he was so easy sometimes.
" Alright, just let me know when he is done. I want to make sure that everything is fine." He walked out the door, slowly shutting it behind him so that he wouldn't make too much noise. We waited until we heard him walking down the stairs, then World War III began.
I looked at Carlisle, the shocked look on his face was replaced with pure anger. He kept glaring at Edward as though he was ready to kill him or I was waiting for Edward to burst into flames.
"What the hell were you thinking Edward? Do you even realize what could have happened to her?" I had never seen this side of Carlisle until now, and I just didn't understand what he meant. I was getting irritated by all this. Carlisle must have sensed my tension growing stronger. He turned to me, smiling while he mouthed 'Sorry'. He went back to glaring at Edward. While we waited for Edward to speak, I kept wondering what the hell Edward did to piss Carlisle off so much.
"Carlisle, what the hell is going on? If this has to do with me, which I know it does, then you need to tell me!" I was now frustrated more than ever.
"Uhhh, Edward here, came into your room last night and put some of his venom in your arm. That is why your arm burned! The venom caused this!" He was pointing to my half bandaged arm. I removed the rest of the tape and gauze, absolutely stunned so that I couldn't speak. The stitches were completely gone, no trace of a scar either. I didn't have any words. I never knew his venom could heal a human without changing them. I slid my finger tips over where the gash used to be, and I didn't even realize that I had gasped.
"Bella what he did was beyond, stupid, even reckless. He could have killed you! If he hadn't put the right amount on, I would have had to explain to Charlie why his daughter is a newborn vampire!" Carlisle was still irate, yet he was starting to calm down with each passing second.
I watched as Edward approached his father, he was so disappointed with himself, yet in a way he shouldn't be ashamed because he helped me.
"Carlisle I knew what I was doing, I am not an idiot. I know I should have never gone behind your back, but I knew it would completely heal her arm! I am sincerely sorry and I can't begin to tell you how disappointed I am in at myself." Edward shouldn't be apologizing, I should be. It was my fault that all this has had happened.
"Go home Edward! We will discuss this after I get home." Carlisle was stern, and I'd never seen him raise his voice. I watched as Edward made his way out of my bedroom, his head was hanging low, and I felt my heart slowly break.
"Bella, don't be upset with me. He wasn't thinking clearly, and the result of that my dear could have been seriously devastating to your father." He smiled that warm, giant smile that he usually always wore. He was right about the thinking unclearly. That would have been a very disastrous situation.
"I know, it's just that I can completely understand where Edward is coming from. What are we going to tell Charlie? I can't explain this to him: he would freak the hell out!" I was panicking, big time!
"Bella we will pretend that this right here, never happened. He doesn't need to know everything. We will have to keep your arm bandaged, and you will have to act like you still have the gash there. I think it would be best if you stayed home from school. He will not question what I tell him or what I suggest either. This will work Bella, but you need to trust me, ok?" I really hated lying but staying home sounded perfect.
"Ok, I will let you do all the talking. I have this habit of stuttering when I lie. Carlisle, thank you for everything that you and your family have done for me and Charlie!" I got up, still a bit lightheaded from the medicine. Carlisle noticed my stumbling and quickly took my arm to steady me. He gave me a wide smile and then helped me back into my bed.
"Please stay in bed until Charlie leaves to go to work. I am going to reapply some gauze, then tell Charlie to come up." He already had the gauze and tape in his hand. I barely blinked my eyes and he was finished. Carlisle opened the door and spoke loudly.
"Charlie! We are done up here. Can you please come up and join us? I need to speak with you!" He waited for the sound of Charlie's feet to hit the stairs. A few seconds later, Charlie came into view.
He looked weird: he seemed a bit scared in a way. He always worried much more than what was necessary. Charlie stood in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. He smiled at Carlisle, then peeked over at me and smiled too.
"Carlisle, I want to thank you so much for everything that you have done for me and for Bella. I don't know how I will repay you, but I will find a way." Charlie seemed more relaxed now. Carlisle walked over to Charlie and took his hand.
"It's always a pleasure. You never have to repay me, you are the Chief of Police and that's good enough. Besides, I feel as though Bella is a part of my family. Well here is the thing, Bella needs to rest. I want her to take today off from schooland if she doesn't feel better by later, I believe she should stay home for a few days. Her stitches tore, they didn't rip out. The morphine shouldn't last that much longer. I will give her a few pills now, and if she has more pain, I will get her some more." Carlisle was a great liar. I envied him so much.
"Then nothing is seriously wrong with her? My god, this had me worried. I thought she might need her arm amputated or something!" Charlie laughed. Carlisle and I joined in with him. If you really thought about it, it was pretty dumb and funny.
"No Charlie, her arm is fine. If you have any more questions or problems, don't hesitate to give me a call." Then he looked over to me, with the most serious face I had ever seen.
"Bella, you need to be careful. No reaching or grabbing anything that is not at your waist. We can't have you rip the stitches again. Stay in bed, the morphine will knock you on your butt if you are not careful." He winked at me and shook Charlie's hand one more time before leaving us alone. I looked at Charlie and gave him a reassuring smile.
"Bells, you heard what Carlisle said. Stay in bed. I will see you after I get home. If you need anything, call the station." He walked over to me, kissed me forehead and told me to behave myself. I laid there waiting for the front door to close. When I heard Charlie start the cruiser, I went and got jeans and a long sleeved shirt. After I changed, I texted Edward to let him know that I was ok and that I would see him after school. I didn't wait for an answer before I was out of the door. I started my ancient truck, and she roared to life so I set out on my mysterious journey. I kept driving for awhile until I saw the sign for La Push. I waited and made my choice, I was going to see Jacob. I knew Edward wouldn't get here in time, and I wanted to talk to somebody. I missed Jake a lot lately.
By the time I got to Jakes house, he was walking out of the door for school. I beeped my horn, his head jerking to the sound of my truck coming down his driveway. The smile on that boy's face was from ear to ear. He was always happy to see me, and I felt the same exact way. I stopped in front of him and quickly cut the engine. I did not even have to chance to open the door before he was right there, pulling me out of the seat into one of his big bear hugs! Holy crap, he must have grown again, he was like scary tall.
"Bella! I have wanted to come and see you, but I kind of got distracted working on my car. How are you? Wait, why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Jake was smiling the entire time. My god this kid had so many questions, I couldn't keep up with them as fast as they were coming out.
"I am fine Jake. I came down to see you, I haven't seen you in ages and I thought we could hang out for awhile today and we could talk. Oh and I don't have to go to school, I hurt my arm and Dr. Cullen gave me a few days off school." He looked almost disgusted when I said Carlisle's name. I hoped he would just let Billy's superstitions fly right past his head.
"What happened to your arm? Did 'HE' hurt you? You need to tell me Bella!" Now I know that he believed the crap that Billy was telling, yet it really wasn't crap since everything that Billy has told Jake was true.
"No Jake, Edward didn't hurt me. I tripped and fell into a glass table. I had to get stitches." I was starting to get this strange feeling that Billy was watching, and I was right. I looked past Jake, and there sat Billy. He had the smile on his face so I smiled and waved back.
"Well in that case, I can afford to stay home from school today. I really want to see how you have been and what you have been up to.How is school going? Hey did I miss your birthday?" I had to laugh, he was so funny. He had been asking so many things that he hadn't noticed that Billy was laughing his ass off at Jake and his 50 questions.
"Jake, slow down! One question at a time. I am not a robot and I can't keep up with all of these questions. How about we go somewhere and sit to talk. I want to know what you have been up to as well. Where can we go?" I really got the feeling that Billy was still staring. I hated being stared at because it gave me the damn creeps.
"Yeah, we can go to the shed. That's where my car is, we can sit in there if that is alright with you?" He started turning a shade of pink.
"That's perfect actually." I smiled and we started walking to the shed. When we got there, I was taken aback. Jakes car was old, not as old as mine, but pretty close.
"It's a Volkswagen Rabbit. Pure classic, been fixing it up for awhile. Billy made good on his promise last May. So, do you wanna start or do you want me to?" He was more enthusiastic than I ever thought was possible. I motioned for him to start since I didn't know what to say or to do.
"Did I miss your birthday? Cuz if I did, I'm really sorry." He seemed so sad.
"Yes, it was yesterday." I mumbled.
"Well happy belated birthday, how old are you now? 30?" He smiled and chuckled. I felt weird, something about the way he was acting towards me, it made me feel like he liked me or something. I must be out of my mind. Jake wouldn't feel that way towards me, would he? I hope that it's just me over thinking everything again. We got lost in our conversation. We were laughing and smiling, and I even cried a little bit. I hadn't realized what time it was until I looked at my cell phone. I seen I had 57 missed calls, all from Edward! Holy crap! I needed to get home before Charlie got there.
"Well Jake I have to go. If Charlie finds out that I left he is going to kill me. I wasn't supposed to be out of bed. I can come back right? I mean if you don't want me to, then I won't." I was a little worried about his answer since I thought he really liked me being here with him more than what he should.
"Most definitely! You can come back anytime that you want. I really enjoyed spending some time with you today! I am really glad that you decided to come and see me!" He gave me a big hug, a bit more than necessary. I gave him a one armed hug and walked back to my truck. I jumped in quickly so he wouldn't have the chance to hug me again. I waved good bye and was on my way back to Forks.
I was scared out of my mind on my way back, I could handle Charlie being upset with me, but I was more worried about the wrath of Edward. I knew he was really angry with me from the tone of his voice mails. I shouldn't have gone to see Jake. I knew it hurt Edward, I felt terrible about the entire thing. Jake has been my friend for a long time though, I just hoped Edward understood that. I pulled up to the house, and there standing on my front porch was the Greek god himself. He looked very angry, and I was afraid. I parked in front of the house and cut the engine off. I sat there contemplating whether I was getting out of the truck or not. I sucked up my cowardice and opened the truck door. I walked over towards him, wondering why he looked so awkward. I couldn't help but smile at his appearance, he was amazing.
"Hey, look I am really sorry about today. I just wanted to get out of the house and I wanted to see how Jake and Billy were doing. I never meant to make you angry with me." I put my head down, slightly agitated with my behavior.
"Bella I am not upset with you. You had me worried, yes, but I am not angry with you. Besides I wanted to apologize to you for what happened this morning. I know what I did was wrong, but I knew that it was right also. I would never intentionally put you in harm's way. I know I should have told you, more like I should have asked you. Can you forgive me?" I wasn't upset because he had my best interest at heart and I knew that.
"You never have to apologize to me Edward. I know you did what you thought was best. I should be thanking you. You knew what had to be done and I can appreciate that. There is nothing to forgive." I walked over to him with every intention of getting a kiss, but when I tried, he turned away from me. There was something else that was going on, and I had a bad feeling.
"Bella, we need to talk. Will you come for a walk with me?" He held out his hand and I knew I shouldn't have taken it but I could never resist him. I had a really bad feeling, and I should have listened to what my gut and my heart was trying to tell me.