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shooting stars, falling objects

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I.

She's sixteen, then seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, and then twenty-one and pissed off.

How did she end up like this? She's a successful musician (as Karina and Karina only, dammit) and has a lovely life. So why is she so miserable? Yeah, she can't get a date and finds more comfort in freezing alcohol until the bottles burst than in drinking the stuff and then there's the nasty habit she has of crying every single time she sees-

No, no more of that. You promised yourself, Karina. You said you weren't going to think of that time and that life and that man who never saw you as anything more than a potential friend to his-

She's twenty-one and a successful singer.

Her name is Karina Lyle and she absolutely hates her life.

 

II.

Her pink and grey bag-a favourite-is pulled off of her shoulder and the next thing she knows, it's in the arms of the little punk rushing down the street. She instinctively calls up the cold, but then she remembers.

She's not Blue Rose anymore.

And no one is to ever know that she was once a hero.

The cold fades away as her shoulders slump. She's not sure if she feels like laughing or crying. She's mad at the world (but mostly at herself) and just wants to go away somewhere where no one has ever heard of Karina Lyle or Blue Rose.

Or him.

Especially him.

There's a tap on her shoulder and she remembers the feel of the metal suits her former comrades wore and suddenly her heart is fluttering violently between her lungs. She turns slowly, wishing for it to not (pleaseohplease let it) be him.

But the mask she ends up facing is even with her face, not far above her. It's a familiar one, yes, and she feels the tension in the air grow sharply now that he has seen her and had time to recognize her.

Her? She just feels defeated and relieved.

"Hello, Origami."

 

III.

She's always been a little weak when he gives her this look. It's not just the unnerving intensity of the stare; it's that his eyes are such a supernaturally beautiful colour that she has trouble looking away and that's just awkward.

Karina doesn't know what to say. She has so much history with him (Ouroborus, etc...) that it makes everything just so much harder now that she's abandoned the team.

Because that's what they were. Even if there was only one official team, the entire group of them was still a team. All of them-her, him, Pao-Lin, Keith, Nathan, Antonio, Barnaby, and...

They're sitting in a secluded cafe, away from the press and the public. He's out of his suit and she's...well, she's herself. She suggested this hidden place because she knows he doesn't like the real him to have a lot of attention. That stuff is for Origami Cyclone, not for him. He was never like her in that way. Being seen with her could get him on the front page of every tabloid in the country.

"How have you been?" she tries, hands fiddling with the bag he returned to her.

He nods, eyes never leaving her, "Good. You?"

"Busy."

She watches as he frowns, those pretty violet eyes darkening with disappointment. Her teeth worry at her lip as she looks away, her attention focusing on the little piece of black and orange that she can see through the opening of her bag.

"Blu-" he stops himself and she silently damns him for it, though she doesn't fully understand why when she knows she never really wanted to be a hero and that she left of her own free volition andandand...

"Karina," he corrects.

She frowns. Her name-her real name-sounds so wrong come from him right now. He's called her that before, yes, but just once she wants someone to-

No, bad Karina. Don't think like that. That's not you anymore.

"What happened?"

It takes a moment for the question to fully register with her and when it does she looks up at him again, her vocal chords suddenly dry and unmovable.

His lips quirk down a little more, "Look, I get it if you don't want to talk about it now, but just promise me that you'll tell one of us eventually."

"Why do you care?" she snaps. She doesn't mean it to be as harsh as it is and she hasn't done it in so long but there's just something about dealing with him that's making her feel like...

...like her.

She has to remember that he's not the same boy she knew back then when he doesn't react to her outburst. She's twenty-one, which means he has to be at least twenty-four, as old as Barnaby was when he joined them.

He's not a kid anymore.

And neither is she.

"Ivan, I'm sorry," she's rushing the words, she knows this but she does nothing to slow down, "That was uncalled for."

He just shrugs, "You've spent the last three years living a lie. I think anyone would a be a little on-edge after that."

"That's rather mature," she says.

Ivan smiles slightly (and she realizes that she doesn't really have any memory of him genuinely smiling a full smile), "Yeah, well, things change."

She gives her own half smile in response.

Then he finishes, "And Nathan told me about your crush."

"He what?"

"When you left," he answers carefully, "There were those who didn't fully understand certain things about you. Something was said that seriously pissed off Pao-Lin and when the dust settled, Nathan told those of us who weren't involved in the fight about it."

"Who?"

"Me and Keith. I think Antonio might know, though." then he adds, "And I'm fairly certain that Barnaby knows."

She groans softly, burying her head in her hands, "You know that's not why I left, don't you?"

"But it was one of the deciding factors, wasn't it?"

Now she remembers the real reason why Ivan has always left her feeling a little unsettled. It's because he's quiet and he uses that to his advantage. His power is best suited for espionage and he's adapted to it by learning how to observe.

How he never noticed, she doesn't know. She doesn't particularly care (but fire-boy is certainly going to be getting an icy visit fairly soon).

"And if it was?"

It takes everything she has not to start crying at the look he gives her when she admits it.

The thing is, her everything is almost never enough.

 

IV.

She doesn't remember much from last night, other than calling in sick and canceling a concert-the first time she's ever done so. There will be hell to pay when she finally faces her bosses, but it'll be worth it. The aching tiredness in her body isn't like the older memories from when she wore blue and everything was cold, but it does have a different cause. As she wakes up more, her memories come rushing forward.

Karina pulls the sheet closer to her body but doesn't sit up. The warmth of having another body in her bed is too novel to ruin just yet. She tries to remember how this happened: the meetings at the hidden cafe, the occasional stroll through the park at night when no one was around, the calls, the texts, the emails, the joy of speaking freely to someone who really knows her.

To someone who didn't judge her for having fallen in love with someone all wrong.

Ah, yes, now she remembers.

It was lipstick.

Just one little comment about how the red looked so wrong, the reminder of what she's given up, and she broke and gave in to the attraction that had been budding since they first ran into each other over a year ago.

She bites her lip, but this time it's not a nervous action. It's happy. After her first disastrous love, she's finally learning what it's like to be in a truly functioning romance in which the other party actually acknowledges and cares about her.

Four years ago, she would have thought it insane. Karina Lyle and Ivan Karelin? What on earth are you smoking?

But that was then and this is now. Now, they're different people and they actually work. Who they are outside of work creates a perfect balance between quiet and spontaneous.

She thinks she might be in love with him.

Then the fear sets in. She still has the memories of that first love-of how it was unrequited and how she suffered for it. The lip biting becomes an action of worry and she slowly slips out of bed, leaving Ivan alone and still asleep. She pulls on his shirt and tiptoes out of the room. The thing she's searching for is something she removed from that pink and grey bag almost half a year ago, back when she started to seriously consider Ivan as a potential love.

There it is, tucked away behind the records she keeps below the four guitars she keeps on the wall. It's a fitting place for the small toy. Each of the guitars in the display has a story and their narrative tells how she grew up to be who she is, albeit leaving out one major part of her history.

This, though, this is a reminder that she once knew a man she more than likely really loved.

The towel still has that ugly snake on it, but she pays it no heed as she unwraps the small tiger from its shroud.

To think, for almost four years, she carried this thing around with her at all times. In the early days after she left, she even kept it in bed with her.

What had she been thinking?

A few tears spill onto the orange and black fuzz of the toy and she grips it tightly before wrapping it back up in the towel and putting it back where it belonged.

It's nothing more than a memento now.

And that's the way it should be, she thinks. She has Ivan now and he's good to her and she knows she's falling for him, if she hasn't completely fallen already.

It's better this way.

She stands up and goes back to bed.

 

V.

"Blue Rose?"

Why did she agree to this?

She comes so close to running away, but then she feels the hand at her back and she looks up to find those pretty violet eyes and she remembers.

She's here because she needs to be (and possibly because Ivan begged and pleaded).

She smiles weakly, nodding at the speaker, "Hey, Dragon."

They're all there with two notable absences. Of them, only Nathan and Keith have prior knowledge of her relationship with Ivan and that's only because she froze the former to a wall for telling them about that and the latter knows because he and Ivan are best friends.

Antonio doesn't seem surprised though, and she's beginning to seriously question the man's ability to be surprised by anything (again, actually. She used to wonder the same thing before). Pao-Lin looks shocked more at seeing her again than at her obvious attachment to Ivan. And the last one...

Oh.

Kaburagi Kaede.

Karina almost doesn't recognize her, but it's not surprising. Kaede has to be around the same age she was when...

When Barnaby joined and was teamed up with Kaede's father.

She's been working on this, thinking about him, that is.

She nods at the younger NEXT, "Hi."

"Hello," Kaede responds, "So you're Blue Rose?"

"I was," she says, "But not anymore. You're a hero now?"

The younger nods, and Karina thinks she must look more like her mother because she only sees a little of him in the girl, "Yeah. My dad calls me 'Little Tiger' but officially I'm 'Mirror Princess'."

"They're both nice names."

"I suppose so."

Kaede is called away by Pao-Lin and Karina turns toward Ivan once the girl has left. She can tell he's smiling softly, but not fully, and she herself lets some of the tension fade when he pulls her closer and whispers in her ear:

"See, it's not that bad."

 

VI.

A hero's work is never done. She remembers that. Ivan and Keith have been called out as Origami Cyclone and Sky High to deal with some new threat to the city, leaving her here with the others. It's the third time she's been around her old colleagues and each time she's been able to avoid-

"I was wondering when I'd get to see you."

She stiffens, staring at the stack of books on the coffee table as if they'll magically give her an escape. It's useless, really, because this is Pao-Lin's place and the books are in Chinese and the writing on the spines makes absolutely no sense to her.

The couch cushions shift just a little as he sits down beside her.

She tries to say something, but her voice has failed her, just like it did that day when she ran into Ivan for the first time after...

"Why did you leave, Blue Rose?"

Her jaw clenches. She's always hated it when he calls her that. Just once she wants to hear-

No. No. She has Ivan now. Don't go back to this. You love Ivan.

...but isn't the first love the one that's never forgotten, even if it's never acknowledged and was never returned?

She blinks and turns to face him. She almost hates him. The man is either in his forties or nearly forty and he doesn't look a day over twenty-eight, if even that. He hasn't changed at all, except maybe his hair is a little longer and he's wearing blue, not green.

(blue is her colour, though.)

"That's not really any of your business, is it?"

He frowns and she's just waiting for the dad routine because that's what he is beneath the hero exterior: he's a dad. And she'll always be another daughter to him. An errant one, but a daughter nonetheless.

And for some reason, despite knowing that she genuinely does love Ivan, the idea that Kotetsu has never-will never-see her as a woman hurts. like. hell.

He opens his mouth to say something and she hopes her look is daring enough, but then he stops and those golden eyes have caught sight of something interesting. There's a kind of disappointment in his face and in his voice when he acknowledges it.

"You're engaged."

She nods, "To Ivan."

"So you're not coming back?"

"No," she shakes her head, even as everything in her screams yes, "I'm done with fighting. I'm just here because..."

"Because why?" he asks, "Because Origami asked you to? Don't give me that. We both know there isn't a soul on earth who can make you do something you don't want to."

No.

Her soul can-did. Or maybe that was her mind just ignoring her soul.

...and then there's him. She's afraid that if he asks her to come back then she will. It's the one thing she and her fiancé have really argued about since that day when he brought back her bag.

The one that still had the tiger toy in it.

But he does have a point. She's used 'because Ivan asked me to' as an excuse for far too long. If she's honest-and he's already said it before-she wanted to return.

She wants to come back.

She wants to be Blue Rose again.

She looks at him-at Kotetsu-again and really looks. She can see why she fell for him. She can see why anyone would fall for him. He's fair and firm in his beliefs. He's kind and caring and always ready to make a fool of himself if it'll make someone he cares about smile. Kaburagi Tomoe was a very lucky woman indeed, and Kaede is lucky for having this man as a father.

And Karina is lucky to have Ivan.

Because she really does love him. She's grown to love just how observant he is and how, despite his quietness, he's actually quite mischievous (the trait that gave rise to the infamous photo-bombing). She loves the way he moves so gracefully and how he's such a great storyteller. He's shy around a lot of people, but with her, he's just Ivan and while there are things about him that annoy her, she still has had increasing trouble imagining life without him and surprisingly, that's something she really likes.

And she really does love Kotetsu; it's just a small fraction of all her love, though. It's that indelible first love. It'll always mean something, but it's nothing to stop the presses for. And it's high time she really came to terms with that. The way he reacted to her engagement suggests that maybe she isn't just another daughter to him but she really doesn't care. It's a little scary, realizing that, but it's also like she can breathe just a little easier once she admits it.

She loves him, yes, but she doesn't care anymore.

So she says it.

"I couldn't work with you," it's soft but there it is. She's said it and the fear seizes up in her chest.

"What?"

"Nothing," she covers. He's always been unobservant when it comes to her and she's suddenly very thankful for that as she relaxes, "It's been nice talking to you again, Tiger."

"This is the way you left me when I tried talking to you that day," he says, "It's always bugged me, you know, the way you've always run away from things."

Karina pauses only briefly before shrugging, "Perhaps that means something, but unless you haven't noticed, I'm not running anymore."

He's not talking to her like a child and it's liberating and she kind of feels like jumping for joy, but that would be weird so she keeps everything under control and let's her ice cool her body off so she can keep calm.

"Do you really not miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Karina!"

She feels like laughing, but all she allows is a smile as she begins to walk away. She passes Barnaby at the door and all she gets is a knowing look from him. As she continues down the hall, she can hear him speaking with Kotetsu.

Someday, maybe, she'll tell him, but for now, she has somewhere else to be.

 

VII.

The ring on her hand is a comfort as she walks with Ivan through the breaking dawn. She tugs on his hand and pulls herself close to his side as they walk home.

Home.

It has such a nice feel to it, especially with him around.

Seeing Kotetsu again has strangely left her feeling better about her life.

She doesn't understand it, but she's not going to question it.

She's just going to keep walking towards tomorrow and she wants every step to be with Ivan.

Including this next one.

Especially this next one.

"I'm going to come out as Blue Rose."

He stops, his hand finding hers. He pulls her around to face him, "What?"

She just nods, "At my next concert. I'm going to come out as Blue Rose. I'm thinking I might take a break too. Reevaluate my career, reorder some priorities, etcetera."

The world is lighter now, the sun rising higher in the sky. She's amazed at how much her life has changed in so little time but for the first time, everything feels right.

She's twenty-three (almost twenty-four) and a successful singer and a former-maybe-future hero.

Her name is Karina Lyle, also known as Blue Rose, and she absolutely loves her life.

"Really?"

"Cross my heart."

Chapter Text

I.

Karina tugs on her dress. It's been a very long time since she's been on a date and this is the first time she's actually been nervous about it.

In the past, though, her date never knew certain things about her past.

She still can't believe this. When he brought her bag back she thought it was going to be a one-time thing. Yeah, she cried a little and maybe they talked until the cafe closed and maybe he cut off all communications with Agnes and that lot to stay with her, but still.

She, Karina Lyle-formerly known as Blue Rose-is going on a date with Ivan Karelin, also known as Origami Cyclone.

Somewhere, a god must have won a bet.

Or maybe this is a loss.

She should leave. She should be across town, freezing Nathan to a wall or preparing for her next concert. She shouldn't be...

"Hi."

Karina jumps slightly, spinning around to find Ivan standing behind her. She opens her mouth to respond when she sees what's in his hand.

No wonder he looks so nervous.

Strange, though, because now she feels like she's made the right choice in agreeing to this. It's just a little, but it's enough to make her feel far more relaxed.

She smiles softly and reaches out for the origami rose. He lets her take it without a word and she knows he's watching closely as she raises it to her hair, where it settles in nicely to the gold of her hair. It's just a coincidence, but the paper is a perfect match for her dress.

Just don't think about it like that, Karina. Just think about it as a normal date with a normal guy.

You're just Karina tonight and he's just Ivan.

Just give it a shot.

 

II.

"What are you doing right now?"

"Sitting at my computer," she answers, holding the phone between her ear and her shoulder to type out a response to her manager's latest email.

"That sounds incredibly boring."

"It is," she says. She's left out the fact that she's actually sitting at her computer wearing nothing but her towel, but Ivan probably doesn't need to know that, "So what are you up to?"

"Just got home," and she can hear the clinking of a pan in the background, "You actually came up today at the training center."

Her hands pause over her keyboard, "What? Why?"

"Kaburagi Kaede."

Aa. Her replacement. She doesn't know much about the younger NEXT, except her powers and her parentage. Karina know the girl is in the same league as Ivan and she's known that eventually the other heroes would come up in their conversations. She's just been out of that business for long enough that she had thought she'd be out of their minds.

(of course, this thing with Ivan proves she isn't)

"Why?" she asks again.

"She was just asking about you. You're the most popular female hero of all time. It's not strange that she's curious about you, especially since she's constantly being compared to you."

"She is?"

"Have you been watching the news at all lately?"

She sighs, "Can you blame me for getting depressed when I see stuff about you guys?"

Of course, that's omitting that she's been keeping track of him and that she's looked up past stories about him, about things that have happened in the years she's been living in a different realm of the city.

"Not really, but can you blame me for thinking you might still watch us? That's actually the main thought that came up today."

"Really?"

"Really. You know we don't miss a show, right? Even if it's just a recording, those of us who know watch."

That's an odd turn of phrase and it takes her a while to realize what he's saying. Kaede, despite being a part of the team, doesn't know about her. Not really, that is.

She's like the rest of the city: she thinks Karina Lyle and Blue Rose are two different people.

There's a twinge in her heart and she does something she swore she wouldn't do. That dinner was just a one-off after all. It shouldn't be anything more.

"Hey, Ivan, are you doing anything this Friday?"

"Officially?"

"Yeah," she says.

"I was thinking about going out on patrol with Keith, but that can change."

She grins despite herself. She doesn't want a relationship (she thinks) and he's too busy for one but still she does it.

She asks him for a date.

 

III.

"Hey, Nathan!" she chirps. He's far above her, the ice holding him to the wall and she's just a little surprised he hasn't used his flames to melt it.

"Rose, darling, why are you doing this?"

"Oh, no reason at all," she spins around, grinning widely when she's facing him again, "I was just wondering why you decided to tell Keith and Ivan about certain things."

She doesn't think she's ever seen Nathan that scared.

Strangely, for the first time in a long time, she feels alive.

 

IV.

"Was it really necessary to freeze him to the wall?" Ivan asks when she next sees him.

"Completely," she answers cheekily.

"That's inappropriate, Karina."

Without thinking, she answers, "So is your face."

She hears him stop as she does and she's very, very thankful that she's a few steps ahead of him. She cannot believe she just said that. At twenty-one, she should know better.

Slowly, she turns to peek at him.

He looks a little startled but it's fading quickly, a sly look replacing it.

"Touché," he finally answers.

Her jaw feels like it's about to drop, but she somehow keeps her lips sealed together.

If she were paying attention, she'd feel her heart fluttering in a lovely and dizzying dance.

She doesn't though, but even then, something clicks.

She, Karina Lyle, is walking through a park with Ivan Karelin. It's their second date and somewhere at the back of her mind, the idea of a third date is already taking shape.

And the fact that it's a date doesn't bother her as much as it has.

 

V.

It's their fifth date and the first time he's stayed the night. Nothing's happened. They just stayed up talking about everything and anything.

She's getting a little worried, actually. She's found herself grinning for no reason and every song she's written in the past month has been genuinely happy and her heart feels odd every time she thinks about him.

Karina's felt like this before and it hurt like hell.

There's no pain this time, though.

That's...actually pretty scary.

She draws her knees up closer to her chest as she watches the sun rise over the city. She's so lost in her thoughts that she doesn't hear the kettle go off and she doesn't realize that Ivan is even awake until he hands her a cup of tea, the jasmine scent strong and refreshing.

"Thank you," she says, straightening her body just enough to comfortably hold the cup.

He just nods and takes a seat opposite her on the window seat, his own cup of tea in hand. Not another word is said and yet it's not odd. It's pleasant and Karina isn't used to pleasant anymore.

It's early morning and they have tea and Karina kind of thinks this might constitute a sixth date.

Just because.

 

VI.

She feels like hyperventilating. They've been together for six months and she turns twenty-two next month and he'll be twenty-five in another three months and why is she thinking about ages at a time like this?

Right, because age marks the passage of time almost as much as the changing seasons do.

They're heading into winter and it's the time of year she usually lives for but oh sweet mercy why did she agree to this?

She's fidgeting and she knows he finds it amusing. He probably doesn't understand why she's so nervous but this is big for her.

She's going to meet his best friend.

Who she already knows, really, but this time she'll be introduced not as Blue Rose or a hero or a NEXT or his colleague. Just as he won't be introduced to her as Sky High or a hero or a NEXT or her colleague.

They'll be Keith, Ivan's best friend, and Karina, Ivan's girlfriend.

There wasn't a problem hunting Nathan down to make him pay for telling that secret of hers (that apparently isn't as much of a secret as she'd thought and hoped it would be). That was annoyance, though, and maybe a little righteous indignation.

It had nothing to do with her being involved with an ex-coworker on a personal level.

Oh god, just imagine if Agnes found out. She groaned at the thought, burying her face in her hands. The only good side of that scenario was that officially speaking, Karina and Blue Rose were two different people. Agnes wouldn't be able to take the full story to Hero TV and she wouldn't be able to take even half the story there because of Karina's individual fame as a singer.

"We're here," he says.

She looks up at the shiny numbers on the apartment door and feels more nervous than ever.

"I can't do this."

He wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her to him, "Yes, you can. You've done more."

"Like?"

"You were a hero, Karina," he says, "What happened to that bravery?"

"It went away when I started wearing real clothing when in public."

There's a quirk at his lips and she's reminded again of the fact that she's never seen him truly smile.

She kind of thinks she wants to.

(and she wants to be reason why, even if she won't admit that just yet)

"You'll be fine."

"And if I'm not?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"If something goes wrong," he cuts her off, tracing her jaw with his hand, "Then I'll save you, okay?"

Their evening with Keith goes well and throughout it all, Karina feels like she's walking on stars.

It isn't until she's tucked into bed (alone) that night that she realizes why.

What he said before they went in?

It's easily the sweetest, most romantic thing she's ever heard a man say.

 

VII.

"Why won't you at least consider it?"

"Because I made my choice."

"You hate it."

"That doesn't matter."

"Then why do you refuse to meet with the rest of them?"

"Can we just drop this?"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to talk about it and I hate fighting with you."

"Then why is it that we can't talk about this rationally?"

"Even rationally it still ends up a fight."

"You promised me you'd talk about this at some point."

"We've talked about that. We talked about it that first day. This, though, this is different."

"It's in the same vein though."

"No, it's not. That's talking about why I left and shit like that. It's just talking. It's not considering taking actual action."

"My only point is that you have no problem spending time with Keith and I know you miss Pao-Lin. These were your friends and they still are."

"Not all of them."

"This is about him, isn't it?"

"No, Ivan-"

His power activates.

When she sees the face he takes, she just reacts. The feel of his face barely registers against her hand, but the mark on his cheek as his powers deactivate is more than enough for the fact that they've both crossed lines they shouldn't have to really sink in.

 

VIII.

She spends a week thinking about the fight. It's the worst they've had and it hurts to think about, but it hurts even more to turn around and find that he's still not there.

She taps the pen against the table a few times, thinking back over everything that's happened.

When she finally starts writing, she stops thinking.

When she finishes, she reads over it and cries.

It's a little more honest than she really wants it to be, but she knows she's still going to record it and it's still going to be her next single. Across the top of the page, she writes one word:

Saviour.

She only hopes he hears it and understands.

 

IX.

When she comes home the night after the song debuts, she finds that someone has been there.

And he's left her blue origami roses by the stairs.

For the first time in too long, she smiles.

 

X.

"Are you threatening me with a rubber band?"

He shrugs and it's all kinds of adorable. She's missed him terribly and even with the rubber band prepared to strike her arm she can't strum up any anger or annoyance.

She just kind of wants to be held.

Or hold. Either one works. There's just this craving for contact deep in her soul. Even now that he's back, it aches.

"Are you going to pass that box?"

It takes her a moment to realize what he means, "The cereal?"

He nods.

"Ivan, please tell me you are not making threats with a rubber band over a box of cereal."

"I like cereal."

It takes five seconds for her to break out laughing.

It takes another ten to realize he's smiling.

Not a half smile or a ghost smile. It's real and full and so beautiful.

She stops laughing and that smile falters just a little. Something in her twinges as it does and she gives into the temptation.

The rubber band goes flying as he's knocked backward by her glomp. She doesn't care that it grazes her cheek though; all that matters is that he's smiling again.

 

XI.

There are scrunchies on her wrist when she tells him that she'll do it.

She'll go with him to meet with the others.

If anything, his smile then is the most beautiful yet.

They've been together for just over a year. She's twenty-two and he's twenty-five. Outside, the sun is rising on a beautiful world, and inside, they're having an early morning tea date.

 

XII.

"Ivan?" she says as they walk home from her first reunion with the other heroes.

"Yeah?" he pulls her closer to him and the cold of the night fades just a little.

She puts an arm around his waist in response, "Can you promise me something?"

"Depends."

"Will you save me?"

His step doesn't falter and he doesn't hesitate to answer:

"Always."

Chapter Text

I.

Good things always come in threes, but bad things always seem to come in the hundreds. Karina has only just been reintroduced to her old friends and they still haven't told Agnes about her relationship with Ivan. They don't want any attention beyond the other heroes and even then, that's mostly because they know the other heroes won't make a big deal of it.

Sadly, after a bad week in the studio for Karina, she finally gets some time alone with Ivan and Agnes just has to show up at his apartment to go over a plan for an upcoming event.

And rather than face Agnes, Karina hides.

Every now and then, she can hear Ivan talking and other times it's Pao-Lin or Keith or Nathan, but mostly it's just Agnes. The words make her nostalgic for the days when she'd be out there, preparing to go out as Blue Rose. But that was then and this is now. She's not out there anymore and as far as the world knows, Blue Rose disappeared into the ether as Karina Lyle shot to stardom.

She should be out there.

But she's not.

Instead, she's stuck in her boyfriend's closet.

Which is a weirdly enlightening experience.

She only has a little light, but it's enough to see that he only really has a suit and some coats in the closet. She already knows this because she's seen him packing before and has noticed that the clothes he usually wears are kept in the dresser.

Karina runs a hand down the closest coat, feeling the texture of the fabric. It takes her a moment to realize it's actually a blazer similar to what she's seen Kotetsu wear. She smiles slightly. It had never really crossed her mind that Ivan might own something like this. She's only seen him dressed casually or formally, never in between. There's been no reason for it, really and she knows he doesn't like dressing up unless absolutely necessary.

Just out of curiosity, she slides it off the hanger and pulls it on. Though Ivan's not much larger than she is, the blazer is still far too big for her. It was oddly comfortable, though, much like the familiar black shirt he wore before she left (but that she now wears on her days off). She pulls it tight around her body and leans back against the wall. That's when she feels the odd weight against her hip and she reaches into the pocket to pull the object out just as she hears the bedroom door open.

The closet door is pulled open and light shines onto the little silver box and she finally sees it for what it is.

A jewelry box.

Why does Ivan have a jewelry box in his jacket pocket?

"You might as well open it."

She looks up to find him standing at the open door, violet eyes turned away nervously.

Without saying a word, she opens the box.

 

II.

"So you didn't want to be a hero and you don't want to be a singer?"

"That's not what I said."

"Right, you don't want this level of publicity, not for your real name."

She nods, holding her teacup close to her heart as she sits beside Ivan on the couch. They had planned to go out today, but the constant downpour has kept them inside her small apartment all day. That's perfectly fine. This is more comfortable than going out, largely because this isn't exactly a secret anymore. More than once they've gone out and run into another hero. Or, you know, one of the millions of people who now know who she used to be.

It's kind of awkward.

Especially since Agnes somehow found out and has been pissed off at everyone for not telling her. Just imagine what it would do to her ratings: Karina Lyle, famous singer, comes out as Blue Rose at her concert after quietly becoming engaged to Ivan Karelin, also known as Origami Cyclone, after nearly two years of dating.

It's the story of the century.

And no one but them knows all the details.

"So what do you want to be?"

She hums as she thinks, "A cupcake biologist."

She smiles when he chokes on his tea. He gives her a weak glare, but she just laughs and places her legs across his lap.

"A cupcake biologist?"

"Mmhmm. It sounds like fun and seems like it would be a publicity-free, stress-free job," she says, "Haven't you thought of being something else?"

"Not really," he says, "I think I wanted to be a cosmonaut when I was a kid, but what child doesn't?"

"And now?"

She watches as he tilts his head upward in thought. Finally, he says, "Well, if you're going to be a cupcake biologist, then I suppose I'll have to be a frosting physicist."

He says it with completely seriousness and that, more than the statement itself, is what sends her over the edge in laughter.

 

III.

"I can't tell anything in this blackness."

She laughs, "You rely too much on your sight."

"I do?" he says and she can feel him take a step in the wrong direction. She reaches out and pulls him towards her again, keeping him close enough that she's impossible to miss, even in the darkness.

"Mmhmm."

"And a more reliable sense would be what?" he whispers against her skin.

Karina grins.

"Touch."

 

IV.

Agnes keeps tapping on the table and it's starting to bug Karina. She only agreed to her ex-producer's request for lunch because she was assured that it would only be about her decision to come out as Blue Rose.

No, this irritation is centered on the ring she wears.

Agnes is still pissed about Ivan.

Karina just stays silent and waits. Sure enough, it isn't long before Agnes breaks and turns off the recorder.

"Okay, just tell me what happened."

"Off the record?"

"It's not being recorded," the producer pointed out.

Karina just raises an eyebrow and repeats, "Off the record."

Agnes sighs, "Fine."

"He returned my bag after it was stolen. He didn't realize who I was until I turned around and when he did recognize me, he asked if we could talk. It wasn't anything serious but then we kept talking and it didn't take long to figure out that we're good together."

"So how did he ask you to marry him?" the elder woman asks, leaning forward, "No offense, but Origami never really seemed the marrying kind."

"Really?"

Agnes shrugs, "To be honest, most of us on the production team figured he was gay."

Karina's glad she's not drinking or eating anything because she knows that would have made her choke, "Seriously?"

The producer nods, "We always thought we'd eventually get to cover his relationship with Sky High."

"Tell me you're joking."

"It was Sky High, or Dragon Kid if he turned out to be straight, but most of us figured Sky High."

Karina feels slightly sick. While she'd never considered the possibility that Ivan might be gay (largely because she'd caught him looking at Agnes a few times) the idea that he and Pao-Lin might have gotten together is just...

It's comparable to Karina and Kotetsu getting together.

Kind of cute in theory, completely impossible in reality.

Or rather, just creepy in reality. Pao-Lin was six years younger than Ivan and while that was nothing on the sixteen-year gap between Karina and Kotetsu, it's still just enough given that the younger NEXT only recently left the teens.

Karina was at least already in her twenties when she began dating him.

And, you know, the fact that she was in a steady position in her life and that Ivan hadn't watched her go through puberty certainly helped.

"That's a beautiful ring," Agnes says, nodding at Karina's hand, "Very you and very him."

She smiles, twirling the ring around. It is very beautiful. The silver band was small and simple, swirling in a wave around a blue stone with small diamonds tapering through the band. It was quiet and simple, like him, and yet it made her think of ice every time she saw it. She still remembers the way it looked when she opened it that day in the closet. She found out later that he'd been planning to propose at their next date and had everything figured out when she discovered the ring and wrecked all those plans.

"Thank you," Karina answers.

Even if she has no story about him actually asking, she thinks their story is better than any other.

 

V.

She listens to the pop of the champagne bottle and the laughing of her former colleagues. Barnaby has just set a new record and a celebration has been arranged.

As Ivan's fiancée, she's there as well.

She's never felt more out of place and it's absolutely tragic. She's done her best to reconnect with her old friends and she had believed she was doing well but apparently not.

Tears prick at her eyes and she retreats to the balcony of Barnaby's apartment, preferring the cold of the night to the sound of the party.

She's out there for maybe a minute before she feels a poke at her side. Ivan leans up against the wall beside her, eyes focused on the city before them. Karina reaches out to brush a stray lock of white-blonde out of his face before leaning to the side and resting her head on his shoulder. Immediately, his arm wraps around her waist.

They stand in silence for a few moments before he finally says: "You miss it, don't you?"

"Of course I do," she says, "Being a hero defined my life for so long. You know, I thought things might get better if I could openly talk about being Blue Rose, but if anything, it just makes me miss it more."

"Then why don't you come back?"

"We can't all work under our real names," she says, pulling herself closer to him. She's missed this in the past few days. They haven't had much time together with her being back in the studio and him being a hero.

"Then I probably shouldn't tell you that I told the Justice Bureau to release my name to the public."

"You what?"

She leans back just enough to look him in the eye. There's barely any room between them and this close she can see that his violet eyes are really just a different shade of blue. She can also see that he's not joking.

"It's for the best," he says softly, "People are already starting to ask questions about us that can't be answered with out all the details. It's better to just be honest than to wait until someone figures it out."

"It's just going to draw more attention to us."

He smiles a little and leans in to rest his forehead against hers, "And it'll eventually die down. People lose interest when there are no secrets involved."

"But it'll put you at risk," she says.

"No more than I already am," he answers, "Just look at Barnaby and Kotetsu. Their names have been out for a long time and they've been fine. And Kaede entered this job with her real name being known. The whole secret identity thing is becoming a thing of the past."

"Ivan-"

"And this way I have a legitimate excuse with the public when I don't show up at something," he says, "I can promise you now that I won't be late for a very important date."

She just arches an eyebrow, "Tell that to Agnes."

"I have. She's sworn she won't call me out on that day."

"And the others?" Karina says, "A week's worth of cooking says you and the others go out on duty that day and are either late or have to leave early."

"Maybe leave early, but not late."

She smirks, "And if I rejoin, then I'll likely be working that day too."

"Unlikely. Agnes is an old romantic. She wouldn't make us late to our wedding."

"We are talking about the same Agnes, aren't we?"

He makes a face, "Stop worrying so much."

"Ivan," she says, changing the subject, "Can you promise me something?"

"Depends, what is it?"

She smiles, reaching up to twirl a lock of his hair around her finger, "Save me."

He shifts, putting his cheek against hers and pulling her body closer to his as he answers:

"Always."

Chapter Text

I.

She's covered in acrylic paint when she opens the door. It takes a beat and his increasingly red cheeks for her to realize that she's covered in acrylic paint while wearing nothing but one of Ivan's shirts.

"Keith, hi, do you need something?"

He stammers for words and eventually just hands her a leash and runs away, mumbling something about good days and modesty. It's not until he's gone that she looks down and finds George staring at her from the other end of the leash.

"Hey, boy, you need a babysitter again?"

The dog just tilts his head. Karina sighs and brings him into the apartment before closing the door. This is going to be interesting. One large, energetic dog in a small apartment while she's touching up some old furniture.

It's another hour before Ivan comes into the room yawning. He stops halfway through his greeting when he sees George and his shoulders slump when he sees her.

"Tell me you weren't wearing that when Keith dropped him off."

She shrugs, "How was I supposed to know you've got a virgin for a best friend?"

"Karina!"

II.

Her hands are shaking. She still can't believe it. She's actually going back. Everyone knows who she is, but she's still doing it (with a new outfit, thank you kindly). She begins to tuck her hair up and soon realizes that it's simply been too long. She can't remember how to deal with the blue tresses.

The tears well up in her eyes as she slumps down on the vanity chair. She hadn't meant to be gone this long.

Or, rather, she hadn't meant to come back.

Funny, isn't it? She left of her own free will and a man she knew back then is the reason why she's back. Karina has thought time and time again about what might have happened if Ivan hadn't returned her bag that day. She'd probably still be miserable and lonely and not this.

Not happy. Not engaged. Not loved.

If that hadn't happened, no one would know that she and Blue Rose are one and the same.

"Hey," he says, "Trouble?"

"Sadly, it's not the kind you can save me from."

"No such thing."

She smiles and holds up a bobby pin, "Unless you know how to get this mess out of the way, then there's nothing you can do."

He takes the pin and stares at it for a moment before handing it back to her, "Have you considered just freezing your hair in place?"

Karina starts to respond but then she realizes that he may very well have a point. She pushes herself up and shakes her hair loose. Her power activates and soon the locks are frozen into spikes hanging down towards the middle of her back. She twists in front of the mirror, trying to get a better look.

"How about this?" she says.

Ivan reaches up to trace one of the spikes, "Well, for once you actually look your age."

She lets the ice flow out to cover part of his hand, "And I didn't before?"

"Karina, you were a teenager dressing like—I'm just going to shut up now."

"That might be a wise idea."

III.

"This was mine when I was a baby," she says, twisting the key to make the figure spin.

"It's a ballerina."

"I know that," Karina answers, "I thought you liked ballet."

"Just because I have a ballerina for a sister doesn't mean I like it," Ivan says, "All it means is that I know a lot about it."

"So I shouldn't bring up the fact that I've seen you go en pointe a few times?"

He just glares.

She laughs, leaving out the various other things she's seen him do. The martial arts are the most common movements for him to make, especially when on duty, but she's caught him doing a few other things from time to time.

Like the à la seconde she saw during one of his spars against Barnaby. It was subtle and not a complete one, but it was still obviously that move. She spent too many years in ballet before becoming a hero to not recognize the movement.

She's wanted to ask Ivan about it, but he doesn't like to talk about his childhood in Russia and this is only the third time she's ever heard him mention his sister. She looked his name up, once, and all that came back was a bunch of old articles concerning a dancer with the surname Karelin. She really wasn't surprised; à la seconde is an advanced move and the way he did it suggested someone comfortable with it.

He's been trained, even if he won't talk about it. His body says way too much for him to completely hide that past.

That, and she's seen him look at the ballet studio down the street with an odd longing, much like the one she used to have when looking at the heroes she used to be a part of.

"I want him to learn," she says.

"What?"

She nods at the baby, "I want Misha to learn ballet. It'll be good for him and it'll give him a wider range of movements to choose from when he's a hero."

"Karina, you do realize that he walks through walls, don't you?"

"Your point?"

"He's not going to need a wider range of movement, just enough sense to phase when something comes near him."

She frowns and holds the music box out so her son can see the way the figurine spins around, forever in an arabesque. The way his violet eyes light up and his lips pull back to reveal a toothless smile gives her all the information she needs.

"See, he likes it," she says, "He's learning and that's that."

IV.

Years before they date and marry and all of that, they start off the way anyone else does: a boy and a girl.

"Everyone, this is Karina Lyle. She'll be joining us as Blue Rose starting tonight."

She bows awkwardly and manages a small smile. How strange it is. She can sing in front of a large crowd without any problems, but here, in front of four men and one boy, she feels so self-conscious she just wants to run and hide.

Each one is introduced in turn and the producer (Annie, Anna, Agatha, Agnes, something like that?) points out that the youngest is only about two or three years older than Karina.

The lady apparently doesn't realize that in the teens, two or three years is a lifetime.

Still, though, he seems to be the most interesting. The other four, all adults, are perfectly pleasant and welcoming to her. Nathan and Keith have no problem treating her like a little sister and Antonio's welcome is akin to an uncle's and Kotetsu is…

Kotetsu is a doofus.

But this last one—Ivan, she thinks—is different. He's quiet and doesn't really acknowledge her. He just sits by himself in the corner with a pair of pink aviator sunglasses on his head. He's really pretty and looks ridiculously graceful and immediately her mind places him on the gay list.

V.

"Just hold still!" she snaps. Kotetsu is throwing a fit and she can't seem to get him to be still long enough for her to deal with the wound. It isn't until Barnaby comes up and holds him down that she can take a look at the damage.

The shurikan isn't too deep, but the wound still needs to be closed and she's afraid to put her ice on it. She worries at her lip before looking over at where her boyfriend is sheepishly standing next to Keith. She sighs and tells him, "Go get me the honey."

"What?" she hears from all around.

She sighs again, "Honey. Now, Ivan."

When he returns with it, she gestures for Kaede to copy her father's power and help hold the big baby down. Slowly, she smears the honey over Kotetsu's shoulder after removing the small weapon. When it's dry and she's sure the wound is sealed off, she cleans up the spare honey and sets the jar down on the table.

"Just be careful with that shoulder," she tells Kotetsu, "And make sure you go see a doctor just to be safe."

"He will," Kaede assures her.

She nods and turns back to Ivan, shurikan in her hand, "And you. What have I told you about using weapons indoors?"

"He asked me to," he says, "You know he's still training to compensate for the loss of the Hundred Power. That means he needs weapons training."

"How many lessons is this?"

He looks away and she knows it's the first.

"And you didn't think to go easy on him?" she says.

"I did," he says, "He's just really that bad at dealing with them."

She fights a smile. This is why she came back, she realizes. It had nothing to do with saving people and being a hero. It was this: the people she works with. Uncle Antonio, brothers Keith, Nathan, and Barnaby, sisters Pao-Lin and Kaede, Ivan her beloved, and Kotetsu the doofus.

She has never missed being Blue Rose, really.

It's just this feeling of community that comes from working in small group where no one has insanely high expectations of her. This is her family, more than her blood relatives have ever been.

These are her people. They're pretty odd, but so is she.

And honestly?

She won't have them any other way.

"Hey, Karina, that honey," Ivan starts.

She cuts him off, "No way. It might sounds like a nice time, but cleaning honey off of fabric is a bitch bigger than Barnaby in a bad mood."

"But—"

"No. Fucking. Way."

"…what about ice?"

"That we can do."

Chapter Text

I.

The beeping of the machine is the only real comfort and even that's distressing. She doesn't like this; the waiting is almost painful and she just knows that all their efforts for secrecy are about to be pointless.

But what else is she supposed to do? Officially, she's not a hero.

She has never regretted leaving Blue Rose behind more than she does now. She needs to be out there, being a hero. It's not about saving people and it's not about the greater good.

It's about revenge.

It's about Ivan.

Because he shouldn't be lying unconscious in a hospital unable to breathe without assistance.

And yet he is and there isn't a damn thing she can do. She can't help him. She can't avenge him. She can't do a thing except sit by his side and hope for the best.

II.

"Bad things, bad things…no."

These are the words she hears when she wakes up. Her back hurts and her shoulders feel like they're broken as she slowly uncurls from her position. She's still in the waiting room and she thinks she's alone and hearing things until she sees the woman sitting down the row from her.

Karina doesn't know what's happened, but she recognizes the look of agony on the woman's face.

She's here because something bad has happened to the one she loves.

And it's then that Karina realizes that she's in love with Ivan.

When this thought sinks in, she cries for the first time since he got hurt.

III.

It's been three days and he still hasn't woken up. She's walking back to her apartment in the rain when she sees the small flames mixed in with the falling water. When she looks up, she sees the familiar bloody moon before she sees the figure standing at the top of the building.

The hero in her wants to fight him, but all of her is just too tired, too weary. She doesn't even flinch when Lunatic drops down from the building to land next to her on the sidewalk. Neither one makes a move until he tilts his head to the side. For a moment they just stand in silence and then he's gone in a swirl of fire.

And Karina?

She just stands, watching the dying flames fall likes souls raining down. She's not entirely sure, but she's fairly certain she understands him now.

Sometimes, justice fails.

And when it does, someone needs to clean up the mess.

Karina gives a wry smile and continues walking home, her mind decidedly blank of everything except better days.

IV.

Her hands clenched into fists, Karina waits down the hall for the others to leave so she can resume her vigil at his side.

(or maybe it's that she's too afraid to demand her old job back if she speaks to them)

She's getting restless and that's bad. A restless NEXT is always bad, especially when their powers are of the elemental persuasion.

Things like Lunatic happen when elemental NEXTs get restless.

And to Karina, Lunatic's vigilantism is looking very attractive as a career option.

It wouldn't take much. She could hunt down the bastard who hurt Ivan and have him dead by way of frozen heart faster than Agnes can pounce on a story. Then all she had to do was let the ice fade away and no one would know.

But it isn't that simple.

Even if she hunts the bad guy down, Ivan will still be in the hospital. He'll still be breathing through a mask and she'll still be like this.

Not for the first time, she curses his hero suit. If it didn't render his shapeshifting useless, he'd be safe. He could hide as anything or anyone and be completely safe (assuming, of course, that they weren't dealing with a telepath like Jake Martinez). She doesn't understand why his suit was designed the way it is. Anyone with half a brain would have given him something that would allow his power to be of use.

Because, contrary to what Ivan thinks, his power isn't a waste. He isn't a waste. He's a wonderful fighter and his power is so wonderfully suited to espionage and recon and ambush that she can't understand why no one would realize the absolute perfection that could be achieved if only Ivan were allowed to actually do his job.

She hears voices and footsteps moving away and pretty soon, Keith rounds the corner next to her.

"I thought I'd find you here."

She smiles weakly, "Yeah. I take it that it's safe to go back now?"

He nods and she slides past him, her shoes clicking softly against the white tiles.

Karina's always hated hospitals but right now, she's so thankful for them.

This hospital is all that's standing between Ivan and death.

"You love him, don't you?"

She turns slightly to find Keith leaning against the doorframe. His arms are crossed and for once, he looks completely serious.

It's strange, really. Ivan probably didn't realize what he was doing when he talked her into meeting Sky High as Karina Lyle, but he started a wonderful friendship with that and she's never been more thankful for it. She never imagined that she and Keith could be anything more than colleagues and she's happy she's learnt differently.

Right now she needs a friend who actually understands the whole story and right now, Keith is the only one she can speak to about anything because of that.

"Yes," she says.

She knows she's telling the truth too. She's thought about it before, but it hasn't been until she's come so close to losing him that she's realized just how much he actually means to her. It's not like it was with Kotetsu. Then, she could live without Wild Tiger in her life, even if it would hurt to do so.

But to live without Ivan?

That's unthinkable.

V.

She's being driven to insanity. Or maybe she should call it lunacy. It's some sort of madness. Seeing him there every day with no visual improvement is hard and it hurts unlike anything else. She just wants him to wake up, to say something, to smile, to open those pretty violet eyes.

She just wants him back.

She woke up alone again this morning and realized that his scent is no longer anywhere in her apartment.

She hasn't stopped crying since.

VI.

She's only doing this because Keith suggested it and because she needed to get out of her apartment and away from the hospital.

Strangely, the change of scene isn't helping.

It's actually making it worse.

She bangs her hands down on the piano keys, the resulting dissonance more comforting than every melody she's worked on today. It's not that she's blocked. She has plenty of things to say that can be put into music.

It's just the feeling of each song that bothers her. It's like she's softly singing his demise and that makes the cold build up in fury to the point that she almost freezes the piano. She just can't seem to avoid that sound, though. Everything she's worked on today has been slow, soft, and sad.

Karina just wants to relax and just really wants to stop crying.

Nothing's going to make it better, though.

Not until Ivan's healthy again.

Not until he's home.

VII.

Karina doesn't flinch when she sees the news. The story is all over the place since breaking on Hero TV. That bastard who sent Ivan to the hospital was identified over the weekend, but has now been killed.

By Lunatic.

There's a voice deep inside that says she owes him for this, but she does her best to ignore it and instead she focuses on the news reports. She isn't entirely sure how she actually feels about all this. Bodies may fade away, after all, but they're never completely gone. There's always some trace of a person's life and right now, this bastard's trace is that Ivan is still in the hospital.

But he's getting better.

She got the call from Keith early this morning.

Ivan's awake.

She sat on the floor of her living room, crying in relief when she was told but now she's just numb. She hasn't been able to work up the courage to go see him and she doesn't fully understand why.

She thinks, though, that it may have something to do with the fact that she's in love with him and she's acknowledging it.

Karina Lyle: twenty-two, a famous singer, a former hero, and absolutely terrified of love.

So for now, she watches the news reports, softly singing under her breath:

"Ashes, ashes, we all fall down."

VIII.

He's asleep when she goes to visit him next. She sits down on the edge of his bed and brushes a stray lock of hair out of his face. The mask is gone and the machine is steadily beeping.

Everything is good. She's been assured he can come home soon. She still feels guilty about not visiting as soon as she heard he was awake, but all the worry seeps out of her when she sees him shift as he comes closer to consciousness.

"Hi," she says, tracing his jaw with her fingers.

Those pretty violet eyes are hazy with sleep. He turns toward her, just a little, and says, "You're late."

"I suppose I am."

"Keith said you were here every day before I woke up."

She nods, "I was."

"Then why weren't you here after?"

Karina's silent for a while, just studying him before she finally answers, "Because I'm afraid."

"Of what?" he says. His voice is still weak, but there's an echo of teasing in his words and the sound makes her stomach flip.

"This," she says, brushing her knuckles across his cheek, "You."

"Does this have anything to do with Tiger?"

"Yes," she answers. She knows he's observant enough to call her out if she lies and she's just too tired to try. So instead, she tells the truth: "I don't want to be in that situation again."

"You won't be," he says, trying to sit up.

She pushes him back down, "And I don't know how to tell you everything."

"You don't have to."

"Yes, I do," she says, "Someday I need to talk about it. For now, though, there are more pressing things."

"Like?"

"Everything."

"Then tell me everything."

She can tell he's serious and so she starts to talk.

And soon, he'll come home and everything will be right again.

The lunacy will fade for now.

She prays it never returns.