Work Text:
kairi xxx: oh, sorry, mom’s calling
kairi xxx: bye guys!
sorarox358: ttyl
rikuroxxorz: See you tomorrow.
kairi xxx left the chatroom
sorarox358: ok thats it
rikuroxxorz: ?
sorarox358: 2mrw im going 4 it
rikuroxxorz: Ahaha. Good luck.
sorarox358: if she says no, imma cry
sorarox358: and u better take me out 4 a movie or smthg
rikuroxxorz: Yeah, that’ll happen.
sorarox358: cmon riku
sorarox358: u dont want tidus 2 find me alone and sad
sorarox358: he’ll take me 2 a bar or smthg
rikuroxxorz: …
sorarox358: I DON’T HANDLE DRINKS WELL RIKU
rikuroxxorz: I. Wait.
rikuroxxorz: I’m going to be there when you ask her, okay?
sorarox358: what?!?! NO!
rikuroxxorz: Sora, you’re going to chicken out. And.
sorarox358 left the chatroom
rikuroxxorz: …
Incoming Call…
Sora
Call Accepted.
--
“Hello?”
“Riiiiikuuuu.”
“What.”
“I’m lonely and sad. Come pick me up.”
“What? She rejected you? Kairi?”
“Nooo.”
“Then what happened?”
“Riiiiku, it’s cold and raining! I’ll tell you when you get here!”
“Who said I’m coming, you ass?! What did she say?”
“Nothing.”
“…You didn’t ask her, did you?”
“OHGODTHUNDER. HOLD ME, RIKU. OH WAIT, YOU ARE INSIDE. WARM. WITH PERFECT, DRY HAIR THAT IS UNLIKELY TO GIVE YOU PNEUMONIA.”
“Dammit, Sora… I’m coming, where are you?”
rikuroxxorz: Screw you.
KEYSGUISE: You’d like that, wouldn’t you?
KEYSGUISE: fsdjkl;
KEYSGUISE: fkls
KEYSGUISE: //:fd
KEYSGUISE: sry roxas took cntrl of my fingers
rikuroxxorz: Hey. I drove around for twenty minutes looking for you. You could’ve at least had the decency to call.
KEYSGUISE: u were driving!
KEYSGUISE: ur so anal abt rules i thot u wudnt pick up
rikuroxxorz: BUT I WOULD CHECK MY TEXTS?
KEYSGUISE: w/e
KEYSGUISE: listen
rikuroxxorz: NO. NOT WHATEVER. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH GAS COSTS?
KEYSGUISE: RIKU FOCUS
rikuroxxorz: WHAT
KEYSGUISE: KAIRI
rikuroxxorz: She looked hot today, what else?
KEYSGUISE: I SAW HER AND
KEYSGUISE: … riku
rikuroxxorz: …er. Sorry. Go on.
KEYSGUISE: i saw her and I went 2 ask her
KEYSGUISE: BUT THEN I PANICKED
KEYSGUISE: b/c she was w/ wakka
rikuroxxorz: Because Kairi’s so into Wakka.
rikuroxxorz: Did you see her checking him out yesterday?
rikuroxxorz: She was practically crying, “HOLD ME!” with her eyes.
KEYSGUISE: RIKU STFU
KEYSGUISE: im srs
KEYSGUISE: i dont think she likes me
rikuroxxorz: You.
rikuroxxorz: Are.
rikuroxxorz: Such.
rikuroxxorz: A.
kairi xxx joined the chatroom
rikuroxxorz: Dumbass.
kairi xxx: …hi guys?
KEYSGUISE: KAIRI
rikuroxxorz: HI
Sora:
RIKU, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
Riku is offline.
Sora:
LIAR, U WERE PLAYING MAFIA WARS 39 SECONDS AGO
ITS ON MY NEWSFEED, RIKU
Incoming Call…
Sora
Call Rejected.
3 missed call(s) from Sora.
--
Incoming Call…
Kairi
Call Accepted.
--
“Uh, hello?”
“Hey, Riku. Do you think Sora’s been acting weird lately?”
“Hasn’t Sora always—”
“Weirder.”
“…Yeah, I guess he has.”
“Any idea why?”
“…Not at all.”
“Sora. I’ve told you a million times. Just ask her.”
“But—”
“Dammit, Sora. I’m pretty sure once you’ve scoured the world in search of someone for two years, had childhood promises about returning precious objects, and sketched each other eating paopu fruit, you are allowed to ask each other out.”
“I scoured the world looking for you, too, you know.”
“I’ll have to kindly decline your offer.”
“See?! You rejected me!”
“Sora, your nobodies are in love with each other!”
“Roxas is a very charming person, okay.”
“Roxas, give the body back to Sora.”
rikusuxxorz: ok so clouds not helping
rikuroxxorz: CHANGE YOUR SCREEN NAME
rikuroxxorz: CHANGE IT RIGHT DAMN NOW
rikusuxxorz: what? oh
rikusuxxorz left the chatroom
sorarox358 joined the chatroom
sorarox358: better?
rikuroxxorz: Honestly I think we both need usernames that aren’t pathetic. Or from seven years ago. Or both.
rikuroxxorz: But go on.
sorarox358: ok
sorarox358: so i asked cloud
rikuroxxorz: I noticed.
sorarox358: imma ask leon
sorarox358: i think hes had a gf b4
rikuroxxorz: …
sorarox358: h/o
--
Calling…
Kairi
--
“Riku? Listen, I’m at work—”
“Hey, Kairi. Someone hacked your account.”
“What?!”
“Uh, yeah. Meatspin and Rickroll all over the place. Just thought I’d let you know.”
“Dammit! Riku, can you do me a favor?”
“What is it?”
“I’ll text you the password. Change my accounts to something else ‘till I get back from work? Please?”
“Oh, yeah, of course.”
“Thanks sooo much! But don’t laugh at me, okay?”
“I’ll try not to.”
“Thanks… hey!”
--
--
“Aha.”
--
rikuroxxorz is idle.
sorarox358: hey! come back!
kairi xxx joined the chatroom
kairi xxx: Sora.
sorarox358: hi kairi!
sorarox358: rikus idle
kairi xxx: That’s okay. I wanted to talk to you.
sorarox358: ???
kairi xxx: You. Me. Tomorrow night. Date. Got it? Good.
kairi xxx left the chatroom
sorarox358: WHAT?!?!?!
rikuroxxorz: AHAHAHAHAHA.
Calling…
Kairi
--
“Riku? Listen, I really am busy—”
“Sorry. Just wanted to let you know that I fixed it all up. Your accounts are back to normal.”
