“Well this is just fantastic.” Clint looked over at the curly-haired kid – at least he looked like a kid – sitting in the corner with a girl at his side. When he had woken up, the girl had been tending to him, but since he was fine, she seemed to have taken his grumbled ‘fuck off’ as a sign to go back to her corner with her friend.
There was another kid – and Jesus, Clint felt freaking old – sitting off to the other side, all four of them facing the door, who seemed to wake up from a small nap at the sound of the curly kid’s voice echoing in the room. “You ain’t wrong, bruv.” His voice sounded just as boyish as the other kid.
Clint groaned. “Are all of you like twelve? Why did HYDRA kidnap a bunch of kids?”
“Oi, do I look like a kid to you, mate?” the kid by himself said, giving him an offended look. “I ain’t lookin’ for no trouble with some old bloke while I’m in a fuckin’ cell. Way I see it, those wankers put us in here so we’re all probably on the same side.”
Clint blinked. “Dude, you literally look like a child. I wasn’t being insulting. I thought you were like sixteen. But yeah, I’d say we’re probably on the same side. And if not, eh.” He shrugged. “Enemy of my enemy and all that.” He held out his hand, leaning over so he was close enough to the kid. “My name’s Clint.”
“Cheers, Eggsy,” the kid replied, shaking his hand. He grimaced. “Shit, probably shouldn’t have said my real name. Dammit, I’m a shit agent. Jesus Christ.”
“Agent?” the girl asked, looking at him in surprise. “Are you SHIELD, too?”
Eggsy raised an eyebrow. “SHIELD? Like them aliens in New York and Avengers and stuff? Nah, they’re done for.”
“Not necessarily,” she said, then waved a hand. “Sorry, I’m Jemma, this is Fitz,” she said, gesturing to her friend. “We’re SHIELD scientists. SHIELD is very much still around. The US government actually has a deal with the Director to not hunt us down again-“
Clint blinked. “Whoa, wait, Nick’s alive?!” he asked, eyes wide.
Simmons blinked, smiling nervously. “Um, you mean Fury? Yes, he is alive. That’s pretty well known about now. How d’you-“
“Holy shit, I’m gonna kill him,” Clint said, slamming a hand against the floor. “Goddammit. This is what happens when you go off grid for a year. Nobody tells me shit.”
“You know Fury?” Fitz asked curiously. “Are you SHIELD?”
Clint snorted. “I’m an Avenger,” he admitted and Fitz and Simmons both went all wide eyed.
Eggsy laughed. “You jokin’? No way. No way there’s an Avenger locked up with us.”
“Sure is,” Clint said. “Hawkeye, the one with the arrows. That’s me.”
“Shut up!” Eggsy said, jaw going slack. “Sick. Banged up wit a proper Avenger, and a well fit lad at that! Rox won’t ever believe me.”
Clint stared at him for a moment before turning to the other. “Yeah, translation of what the hell he just said?” he asked and Fitz raised an eyebrow.
“I was homeschooled then went to university when I was ten, you think I have a clue what he just said?” he asked, and Clint looked at Jemma instead.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh good lord, do you never watch movies?”
Eggsy sucked his teeth, making a face. “It’s like dealing with Merlin. Let me explain,” he said, mocking Clint. “I said, I’m locked up with an actual super hero, a hot one at that. My friend, Roxy, will never believe me when I tell her later.”
“Oh is that what you said?” Fitz asked, looking genuinely surprised. “Oh yeah, that makes sense. He is pretty attractive.”
Clint made a face. “Ew, you’re like fourteen, stop that.”
“Hey, I’m twenty-five,” Eggsy argued.
“And I’m twenty-seven,” Fitz said, and Clint did a double take, gaping.
“Jesus, you’re what? Shit, you look so young!” He huffed. “I’m so goddamn old,” he whined. “God,” he said, looking up at the ceiling. “If I have to die with a kid nearly twenty years younger than me, at least make it awesome. Amen.”
Jemma rolled her eyes. “Oh stop it, we won’t die. And twenty years isn’t that much, I mean Fitz’s boyfriend’s seventeen years older than him,” she commented and Clint raised an eyebrow at Fitz, who glared, almost daring him to say something.
“Shit, I felt like a creep for having a crush on my superior officer who was ten years older than me when I first joined up,” he admitted.
Jemma started to speak, but before she could, there was a grating at the door and they all scrambled to their feet, sliding closer together in the middle of the back wall, standing in a row. “Look, they didn’t get my ring,” Eggsy said, holding up his hand. “When they come at us, you grab the first one and I’ll get the second and electrocute him, aight?” He leaned past Clint. “You two get whoever’s left. They can’t send more than three, I’m sure-“
The door swung open and Clint got ready to rush the guards as soon as the first one entered, but when it swung open fully, he went from tensed, muscles coiled to pounce, to going slack, knees barely holding him up when he saw the first person through the door. “Holy shit,” he breathed.
“Director Coulson!” Jemma gasped in relief. “Oh thank Go!” Clint realized he wasn’t seeing things and he narrowed his eyes as anger started to settle into his veins.
When the others behind him walked in, Clint didn’t recognize the others, but clearly Eggsy recognized one of them, because he gasped and started shaking like a leaf. Clint looked at him and saw the blood draining from his face. “Harry?” he asked weakly and Clint saw the older guy with the eyepatch smiling tentatively.
Eggsy let out a weak sound and stepped forward and threw his arms around the guy’s shoulders. “You’re alive!” he sobbed.
Clint just turned to Coulson, glaring. “And you’re alive,” he accused.
He glanced at Jemma and Fitz, but Fitz just looked at the third person – who was also possibly the largest man Clint had ever seen up close, and he knew Thor - and shrugged. “What? I knew you’re alive,” he said, smiling when the guy walked up to him with a relieved smile and pulled him into a hug.
Clint gaped. “Wait, he is your boyfriend?” he asked in shock, and Fitz pulled away enough to look at him with a smirk.
“Yeah, Mack, this is Clint, Clint’s an Avenger,” he introduced, and Clint waved awkwardly at the giant guy.
“Wait, you guys are dating?” Coulson asked, looking confused. “Huh, I didn’t know that.” He gave them an awkward look. “And I felt weird about having feelings for a guy ten years younger than me, aren’t you nearly old enough to be his father?” he asked and Mack shrugged.
“Yeah, so?” he asked simply.
Jemma cleared her throat, nodding at where their cellmate and the third guy were currently kissing passionately. “Pretty sure he’s definitely old enough to be Eggsy’s father,” she commented.
Eggsy pulled away from the kiss with a laugh, glancing their way with tears on his cheeks. “I don’t give a shit, cause he’s alive!” he said delightedly, sliding his hand into Harry’s. “This is Jemma and Fitz, they’re SHIELD, and that’s Clint, he’s a bloody Avenger.”
“Lovely to meet you,” Harry said politely, nodding to them all. He looked to Jemma with an awkwardly pinched look. “And sadly, my dear, I fear I am actually older than his father would be, if we’re being totally honest. Nearly old enough to be his grandfather,” he commented, looking alarmed at his own words. “Eggsy-“
“Don’t give a fuck,” Eggsy stressed, standing up on his toes to smack a kiss to his cheek. “You’re not bloody dead, that’s good enough for me.”
Clint barked out a laugh, glaring at Coulson. “Yeah, well, it’s not good enough for me. You died, what the hell, Phil?”
Phil gave a sheepish smile. “Um, long story? That should probably not take place still standing around in this cell. Mr. Hart and I have a bad history of our missions together going wrong, so we should probably get out of here before there’s an opportunity for that to happen.”
Harry nodded. “Kingsman agents and SHIELD together always ends in explosions,” he said matter-of-factly.
Clint grumbled as he stalked out of the room. “I expect a damn good explanation and a hell of an apology, Coulson.”
“Oh I’m sure you do,” Phil said, but when Clint caught his eye he couldn’t help a flutter in his stomach over how beautiful Phil’s eyes still were after all that time.
Clint harrumphed as they started out into the hall. “You suck, Phil.”
“Only if you ask nicely,” Phil said under his breath, and Clint glared at him, earning a smile.
“I hate you.”