With You I Could Rule the World
"Norm," protested Crocker, "I've kissed you more than a thousand times and you still won't grant my wish to rule the world."
"I've explained to you more than a thousand times that ruling the world is a stupid idea," replied Norm, feeling annoyed, "And more than a thousand kisses in quick succession doesn't feel as good as you think it does. Actually, it really begins to get boring."
"Your problems with it are: one, you don't like slavery and two, ruling the world causes the common people to attempt to murder me," said Crocker.
"Yeah," replied Norm in confusion.
"So, I'll not enslave anybody and if the common people try to murder me, you can save me," said Crocker, "and you get a share of the power. Happy?"
"That does seem to sort out the bugs in it," replied Norm, "I can admit that."
Crocker and Norm were now in a palace, with lots of shrimp. Dimmsdale's name was changed to Crocker and Normsdale, since Crocker couldn't use the original name he wanted, Slavesdale. Various servants were in the palace too (Norm wouldn't allow slaves, but servants were different, though Crocker did plan on using them as slaves.)
"So what will your first decree be?" Asked Norm, then half-sarcastically, "Your Majesty."
"That no one can kick us out of any place or laugh and jeer at us again," said Crocker, "the ruler, me, can marry anyone he likes, regardless of gender or race."
Norm grinned. He knew what that decree was for.
"Slavery will be illegal," continued Norm, "if I'm also ruling, I get to make laws too. If you made me a ruler just 'cause you like my kissing, sorry but I'll actually be one. Anyone who steals the ring you gave me will be sent to Mars – forever. People won't be allowed to have a genie unless they pass an IQ test and promise to set the genie free as soon as they're done using it. If slavery is disguised under a different name, like say 'servant', the offender will be sent to Mars."
Crocker gulped. How had Norm found out? Ah well, he guessed he had to not do that after all.
The common people meanwhile watched the rulers and worried that they would be bad ones. Some of them went off to get their torches and pitchforks, just as Crocker said that angry mobs with torches and pitchforks would be outlawed.
Crocker then outlawed any religion that believed in the non-existence of fairies. He also outlawed any religions that persecuted you if you believed in different mystical beings other than those that the religion worshipped. Crocker hated being persecuted for his belief in fairies. Then, the people were more furious than before.
Crocker then outlawed Norm dating anyone but him.
"Crockpot," said Norm, "I know you have jealously issues but making a law 'cause of them is just ridiculous. Remove that law, right now or you'll be seriously dumped. Got it?"
Crocker did so reluctantly.
All these events took twelve minutes and at the end of those twelve minutes, the common people put Crocker under guillotine.
"Crockpot, this is why I told you not to rule the world," nagged Norm, "I told you that you could get killed, but guess what – you didn't listen to me! Now, guess what – you're getting killed!"
"Didn't you say you'd save me?"
"Oh yes," said Norm, "So, here goes!"
Crocker and Norm's either utopia or dystopia disappeared and they reappeared at Crocker's house.
"That's why you don't wish to rule the world," said Norm, feeling both satisfied and annoyed. Crocker always made him feel that way.
"I know," replied Crocker, "kiss?"
"Sure," said Norm, kissing him, "just don't be possessive."