“You want to know something? I had a wet dream about Cap last night. It was fucking awesome.”
Silence hit the family room while everyone stares at the person who decided to confess something that really should have been kept private. There just some things that aren’t meant to be said out loud and that’s one of them. However, Tony will always be Tony.
“Um…o-okay” says a reluctant Peter.
“Shut the fuck up” says Luke who looks like he might pop a vein on his forehead.
Logan simply grunts out a “Dumbass” to the conversation.
Jessica rolls her eyes while her other female comrade, Carol, says, “Is he drunk? I don’t remember him drinking.”
Clint utters, “Oh man, keep that shit to yourself!”
Tony blinks at his teammates responses. “Why so hostile, guys? Come on, let’s do that thing Steve is always complaining we should do more of. I think it’s called bonding or something. So let’s bond by sharing our thoughts, dreams, goals, etc., etc. with each other.”
“I’m going first. I think you’re a dumbass and a horny bastard. Those are my thoughts right now” Logan sips his beer and turns his attention back to the TV screen.
“My dream is to one day be immune to what this pervert asshole says on a daily basis” Luke sarcastically says while he points to Tony with his thumb.
“I’m pretty sure this isn’t what Steve had in mind” Peter mumbles which goes on deaf ears.
“My goal is to knock some sense into you and make you into a sensible human being” Jessica spoke. Next to her, Carol nods her head in agreement and chimes in, “It’s going to take a long time to achieve the result we want but I don’t think it’s impossible.”
Right before Clint could add his two cents in, Peter tries again, “Guys, please! Cap wants us to bond and I don’t think he had picking on Tony in mind. How about we talk about what’s for dinner tonight and leave Tony alone?”
“Aw, look at that! Peter is defending his ‘dad’. How cute” Clint says, smirking.
“It’s not our fault lover boy over here felt the need to tell us he had a wet dream about his boyfriend” Jessica explains, taking a sip of her diet Dr. Pepper cherry.
Peter shakes his head in slight irritation at teammates for not being more mature. So he says what on his mind at this very moment because really…“I’m hungry.”
Everyone stares at Peter for a good moment, waiting to see if Peter is going to say anything else. When he doesn’t, they all turn to look in Tony’s direction.
Jessica is the first to speak up, “Well?” She gives Tony a pointed look, as did the other teammates excluding Peter who looks confuse at the moment at what’s going on.
Blinking in surprise, Tony asks “What? Why are you guys looking at me for?”
“Hey, shouldn’t you feed your kid or something? He might start getting cranky if you don’t” and with that, Logan polishes his beer. Everyone that isn’t Tony and Peter laugh out loud for a good five minutes before a voice interrupts them.
“Hey, what’s so funny? And does it have anything to do with Peter blushing?” Steve walks into the family room with what appears to be three bags full of food.
Jumping out of his seat, Peter rushes over to Steve. Grabbing one of the three bags to hold it, Peter glances up at the blond man. “Oh, I’m so happy you’re back, Cap, especially with food. I’m hungry and whatever it is that you have there, it sounds awesome.”
“It’s always the mother who needs up feeding the children when they’re hungry” Luke says as he gets up and takes the other two bags from Steve. “This does smell pretty damn good.” The rest of the teammates get up and everyone walks into the dining area. The gang sit downs and start making grabs for what they want. Pretty much everyone at the table seem more than happy with their food which most often at times, seem impossible to do.
“Mother knows best!” Clint chirps which catches Tony’s attention.
“So Clint, if Steve is your ‘mom’…does that make me your ‘dad’?”
Horrified, Clint hugs himself at the mere thought of Tony being his dad. He’s fine with the thought of Steve being his mom but not Tony. Seeing that evil glint in Tony’s eyes, Clint felt the need to pay him back. Turning towards Steve, he says “Tony had an erotic dream about you last night” he snickers in revenge and adds “and it was fucking awesome. His words, not mine of course.”
Dropping the spoon he’s holding, Steve snaps his neck in the direction of Tony who at the moment looks very alarm. “Is that why you woke me up this late last night to-wait. What? Tony! What are you telling them?!”
Steve continues to blush while Tony tries his best to do damage control but everyone knows there’s going to be a genius, billionaire, philanthropist sleeping on the couch tonight.