Optimistic speech of “home is where the heart is” and a long night of discussion with Cecil aside, Carlos still isn’t sure he’s right.
Night Vale, Desert Bluffs and the Desert Otherworld all live by “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” but even if Night Vale is home because it’s where Cecil is, he can’t believe that’s the right way to deal with problems he wants to solve. A scientist asks questions and then solves things even if he doesn’t know the mechanism of action yet.
In his quest to mend his relationship with Cecil, he’s had to throw Kevin under the bus. Set boundaries he’s not sure are healthy to begin with. And he knows how lonely his boyfriend’s double is. Every time Cecil complained about missing him, asked again if he’d find a door and he’d promise tomorrow again and again, Kevin would echo Cecil’s desperation with an equally desperate “don’t leave me”. It was terrifying how much the two mirrored each other’s begging.
Carlos had thought that maybe if he stayed one more month, Kevin would get better. That maybe by staying he could fix everyone. That he could stop the Masked Warriors from fighting the many other armies marching in different directions across the desert. That he could save Kevin from himself. Instead, he’d found himself running out of capacity to listen to Cecil and help him because he was so busy firefighting everything in the Desert Otherworld and finding the only solace in trying to desperately distract himself with his research which ultimately turned into the longest and most fruitless timesink in the history of his scientific career.
It’s been a long year of mistakes. But is it really mending when you replace one broken relationship with another?